While President Obama was busy shining Chinese President Hu’s shoes on Wednesday, Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper was actually acting like a national leader and telling the Iranian government to stick it where the sun don’t shine.
While President Obama was busy shining Chinese President Hu’s shoes on Wednesday, Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper was actually acting like a national leader and telling the Iranian government to stick it where the sun don’t shine. (And when we say “where the sun don’t shine,” we don’t mean north of the Artic circle in January.)
Would you be surprised to find out that Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a conservative? Nah, we didn't think so.
Canada’s National Post has the un-American details of a national leader who actually stands up for his nation:
The Harper government sent a diplomatic note to Iran Wednesday, as Heritage Minister James Moore lashed out at Tehran for its part in a campaign that cancelled the screening of a movie critical of the Iranian regime at Library and Archives Canada.
On Wednesday morning, the Minister instructed Library and Archives Canada to show Iranium, a documentary critiquing Iran’s nuclear program, after it cowed to numerous threats of protest and an official request from the Iranian embassy in Canada to not present the film Tuesday night, as scheduled.
In its diplomatic note to Tehran, the government said Canada is a free country and that freedom of expression is a core value that won’t be compromised.
“This movie will be shown, the agreement will be kept and this movie Iranium will be shown at Library and Archives Canada. We will not be moving it to a different facility, we’re not bending to any pressure,” said Mr. Moore on the CBC’s Power and Politics.
“People need to be kept safe, but we don’t back down to people who try to censor people by threats of violence.”
Prime Minister Harper, it seems, has bigger balls than President Obama. But then, so does Angela Merkel.
Ahhh, the sheer genius of green technology. In the grand tradition of British windmills that won’t work when the weather is cold and power is needed most, it’s now been discovered that green volcano monitoring devices won’t work when their solar panels are covered with volcanic ash.
Ahhh, the sheer genius of green technology. In the grand tradition of British windmills that won’t work when the weather is cold and power is needed most, it’s now been discovered that green volcano monitoring devices won’t work when their solar panels are covered with volcanic ash.
Krakatau: Where there's smoke, there's an inoperable green monitoring device
The Jakarta Post has the erupting story:
The South Lampung Disaster Mitigation Agency (BPBD) lacked vital information in deciding to evacuate tens of thousands in danger zones near Mount Anak Krakatau, says this article in the Jakarta Post.
“We have taken anticipatory measures because ash continues to flow, while the seismograph used to monitor Mount Anak Krakatau could not provide data on its activities,” said South Lampung BPBD head Abdul Shomad on Monday.
“The observation posts in Hargopancuran, Rajabasa, South Lampung, and Pasauran, Banten, have not yet been able to monitor volcanic activities because equipment installed around the volcano is still out of order.”
“Observation from the naked eye shows volcanic ash and smoke, spewing from Mount Anak Krakatau at around 600 meters high,” said Hargopancuran observation station head Andi Suhardi. “(However), we cannot monitor seismic activities because the seismometers are not working after their solar panels were covered with volcanic ash.”
“Suhardi said his office had learned about the faulty monitoring devices installed on the slopes of Mt. Anak Krakatau on Dec. 27, thus failing to monitor volcanic activities from 6:30 p.m. until noon on Dec. 28, despite the fact that the volcano, located in the middle of the sea, was actively emitting volcanic materials.
Translation: “We don’t quite have all the wrinkles worked out of this green technology yet.”
Last November, Glenn Beck was bestowed with the honor of being named World’s Worst Person by Keith Olbermann. What had Beck done to deserve this singular honor? He had the temerity to predict that Olbermann would be dumped by Comcast as soon as it completed its acquisition of NBC.
Last November, Glenn Beck was bestowed with the honor of being named World’s Worst Person by Keith Olbermann.
What had Beck done to deserve this singular honor? He had the temerity to predict that Olbermann would be dumped by Comcast as soon as it completed its acquisition of NBC. They were, Beck said, more interested in building an audience and generating profits than spewing left wing propaganda.
Those opinions, Olbermann said, were proof that Beck knows nothing – absolutely nothing – about the television businsss.
Sixty days later, Comcast takes over, and whoosh, Olbermann is gone.
LaLanne died Sunday at his home in Morro Bay on California’s central coast, just up from IHTM. The cause was respiratory failure due to pneumonia.
Today is a day we all thought would never come. Jack LaLanne is dead.
The Associated Press has the sad details:
Jack LaLanne was prodding Americans to get off their couches and into the gym decades before it was cool. And he was still pumping iron and pushing fruits and vegetables decades past most Americans’ retirement age.
Early TV exercise guru Jack LaLanne is dead at 96
The fitness fanatic ate well and exercised – and made it his mission to make sure everyone did the same – right up to the end at age 96, friends and family said.
LaLanne died Sunday at his home in Morro Bay on California’s central coast, longtime agent Rick Hersh said. The cause was respiratory failure due to pneumonia.
“I have not only lost my husband and a great American icon, but the best friend and most loving partner anyone could ever hope for,” Elaine LaLanne, LaLanne’s wife of 51 years and a frequent partner in his television appearances, said in a written statement.
Note from the Editor: Nine years ago I got a phone call from an elderly friend who had worked in the television business.
“I hear you’re moving to the Central Coast,” he said. “Take down this phone number. I want you to call an old friend of mine who lives there. His name is Jack LaLanne.”
“The Jack LaLanne,” I asked.
“There’s only one Jack LaLanne,” he said.
I’m just not one to bother celebrities. If I see one sitting in a restaurant or walking down the street, I leave them alone. So I never called Jack because I didn’t want to bother him.
Nevertheless, I’ve always carried that phone number around in my wallet. Every once in a while I’d pull it out and think to myself, “Maybe I should call. It would be fun just to have lunch with the guy.” But I never did.
Until very recently, Jack and Elaine had a weekly fitness segment on the local NBC-TV affiliate in our town of San Luis Obispo. He wasn’t quite as strong and limber as he’d been in the past, but still looked great and was sharp as ever.
Today I wish I’d broken my rule. I wish I’d called.
Because as my friend said, “There’s only one Jack LaLanne.”
This guy is a genius until you take away his Teleprompter. When he ad libs he’s more like Elmo Lincoln than Abraham Lincoln.
This guy is a genius until you take away his Teleprompter. When he ad libs he’s more like Elmo Lincoln than Abraham Lincoln.
(Trust us, this is a much funnier line if you actually know who Elmo Lincoln was. Look him up.)
Here President Obama inspiring America by telling us that we need to “build stuff and invent stuff.”
This is, of course, in the grand tradition of FDR, who is famous for saying, “The only stuff we have is stuff itself” and JFK, who is famous for saying, “Ask not what your stuff can do for you. Ask what you can do for your stuff.”
And, of course, in the tradition of IHateTheMedia.com, which says, “Stuff it, President Obama.”
We’re not even going to link to this website because its commercial is so damn stupid. Fox supposedly rejected this proposed SuperBowl commercial, but c’mon, who really believes this website sells enough crappola to pay for a SuperBowl commercial?
We’re not even going to link to this website because its commercial is so damn stupid. Fox supposedly rejected this proposed SuperBowl commercial, but c’mon, who really believes this website sells enough crappola to pay for a SuperBowl commercial?
We just checked the website’s Alexa ranking. As measured by traffic, it doesn’t even rank in the top 8,000,000 websites around the world. And here in the United States, nearly 1,000,000 websites have more traffic. Based on that we feel confident in saying that JesusHatesObama.com doesn’t have enough money to buy a ticket to the SuperBowl, much less advertise on it.
We sum it up in two words: Publicity stunt.
We call bullshit. And we’re pretty sure Jesus really does hate bullshit.
In this short video clip, CNN’s Kyra Phillips introduces Republican strategist Leslie Sanchez in a most unfortunate way. Say the word along with us, Kyra: Contributor, contributor, contributor
In this short video clip, CNN’s Kyra Phillips introduces Republican strategist Leslie Sanchez in a most unfortunate way.
Say the word along with us, Kyra: Contributor, contributor, contributor.
Now don’t make that mistake again unless Joy Behar or Hillary Clinton is your guest.
Apparently the news that crazed nutter Jared Loughner was a psychopath fond of leftist philosophy hasn’t made it across the pond nor to the desk of one Simon Jenkins, former editor of the Times of London.
Apparently the news that crazed nutter Jared Loughner was a psychopath fond of leftist philosophy hasn’t made it across the pond nor to the desk of one Simon Jenkins, former editor of the Times of London.
Insufferable British prig Simon Jenkins shoots off his mouth (Please pardon our violent rhetoric, Simon)
Sit back and enjoy as this man makes a fool of himself through his opinion piece at the Guardian UK:
Today’s culprit is freedom of speech, or at least the speech of the American right and its broadcast cheerleaders. Shock-jock radio presenters feed on biased television news to present a view of the world divided between goodies and baddies. The baddies are always on the brink of victory and must be confronted with virile aggression. Language that might not disturb a balanced mind can clearly stimulate and legitimise an unbalanced one.
Seriously, Mr. Jenkins, if you are looking to save this country from people who have the nerve to express a opinion different from yours, then perhaps you’d be interested in joining a new organization called Friends Against Speech Crime In Society Today.
It meets weekly in Keith Olberman’s mother’s basement to discuss how free will and personal choice have become dangerous to our democracy. Members also discuss how best to silence dissenters and make sure that actions undertaken by the individual do not diverge from the larger will of the all mighty community. You’re guaranteed to have a goose-stepping good time!
RSVP now so they can be sure to have a brown shirt and pair of jackboots waiting for you at the door.
Fred Thompson’s as funny as Joe Biden, but in Fred’s case it’s intentional. The 21st century Will Rogers is back with more 144-character wit and wisdom.
Fred Thompson’s as funny as Joe Biden, but in Fred’s case it’s intentional. The 21st century Will Rogers is back with more 144-character wit and wisdom.
Fred Thompson's top ten tweets of the week: Another cheesy excuse to show a photo of Fred's wife, Jeri
Dead fish washing up along Chicago lakefront. I guess Rahm’s gonna have plenty of presents to send to his political opponents.
Study: Watching TV damages your heart. Would’ve had study to see if watching MSNBC damages brain, but hardly anyone’s at risk.
Obama on unemployment: “talk to Goolsbee. That’s his job.” Yup. It’s Obama’s job to CREATE lousy numbers, not explain them.
New NYC law: no smoking on public sidewalks. Makes sense. Wouldn’t want tobacco smoke polluting car exhaust coming off the street
DC to use yoga to rehab city’s violent youths. Now when cop tells them to assume the position, they’ll stand on 1 leg & chant
Pelosi: “Deficit reduction has been a high priority for us.” Sure. Just like protecting sheep is a high priority for wolves.
In AR: 5,000 blackbirds mysteriously die & fall from sky. How long until Obama makes everyone buy falling-bird insurance?
White House to press: no shirtless Obama pix. Still risky. ANY press encounter w/o ‘prompter may show emperor has no clothes
EPA issues Haz Mat cleanup plan for mercury in CFL bulbs. Maybe we should stick w/ safer lighting technology: whale oil lamps
GOP Sen Coburn: country in for “apocalyptic pain” if spending not cut. Obama’s plan: borrow a bunch of aspirin from China.
But … but … but how can this be? We thought solar was the fuel of the future, the salvation of mankind, the inexhaustible green gift that keeps on giving.
But … but … but how can this be? We thought solar was the fuel of the future, the salvation of mankind, the inexhaustible green gift that keeps on giving.
Reuters has the tale of the confused conservationists:
Yes, it's confusing, but the eco-extremists won't even approve sources of power they approve of
A U.S. conversation (sic) group has sued the federal government over its approval of a major solar power plant in the California desert, the latest in a string of challenges to the nation’s renewable energy goals from the environmental community.
According to court papers, the non-profit Western Watersheds Project alleged U.S. regulators approved Brightsource Energy’s 370-megawatt Ivanpah solar energy plant without conducting adequate environmental reviews, and asked the court to order the defendants to withdraw their approvals.
Let’s see now. We can’t use coal because it’s dirty. We can’t use hydroelectric because it destroys natural waterways. We can’t use oil because it causes global warming. We can’t use wind because it kills birds and bats and destroys the view from the Kennedy’s Hyannisport estate. And now we can’t use solar because … well … we’re not quite sure why we can’t use solar.
Luckily, we saw this coming at IHateTheMedia.com and took steps to solve the problem of increasingly restricted fuel supplies. Our entire operation is powered with the high grade Japanese whale oil. Smells like hell, but it puts out a lovely warm glow that both heats and lights.
In this clip the always angry Ed Schultz tells how he’d love to be more civil, but that probably won’t happen as long as there’s a single freakin’ Republican still drawing air.
The Editor’s revered farmer father always said, “Watch out for people who tell you they’re honest. If you’re really honest, you don’t have to tell people.”
The MSNBC corollary is, “If you’re really working for the working man, you don’t have to tell the working an you’re working for the working man.”
But enough about Ed Schultz.
In this clip the always angry Ed tells how he’d love to be more civil, but that probably won’t happen as long as there’s a single freakin’ Republican still drawing air.
Because he’s working hard for the working man, you know.
Uh-oh. Looks like Keith Olbermann has worn out his welcome at yet another TV network. The worst person who ever called anyone else the World’s Worst Person is suddenly, unexpectedly out at MSNBC.
Uh-oh. Looks like Keith Olbermann has worn out his welcome at yet another TV network. The worst person who ever called anyone else the World’s Worst Person is suddenly, unexpectedly out at MSNBC.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWX9QtUwWa4
The Los Angeles Times has the big news:
MSNBC announced Friday night that its marquee “Countdown” anchor and talk show host Keith Olbermann was out. The network did not provide a reason for his abrupt departure.
“MSNBC and Keith Olbermann have ended their contract. The last broadcast of “Countdown with Keith Olbermann” will be this evening. MSNBC thanks Keith for his integral role in MSNBC’s success and we wish him well in his future endeavors,” NBC Universal said in a statement.
Olbermann and his bosses have clashed in recent months. He was suspended in November for two days after revelations that he gave donations to a Democratic political candidate, which was a violation of the company’s ethics policies for news employees.
Our guess is that Ed Schultz is next to go. C’mon, the guy’s act is horrible.
Hawaii’s new Democrat Governor Neil Abercrombie promised to find President Barack Obama’s birth certificate so that we, as a nation, could put to rest, once and for all, rumors that that he is not a U.S. citizen and therefore, fit – and “fit,” to be sure, is to be taken very loosely in any case – to serve as the Commander in Chief.
Hawaii’s new Democrat Governor Neil Abercrombie promised to find President Barack Obama’s birth certificate so that we, as a nation, could put to rest, once and for all, rumors that that he is not a U.S. citizen and therefore, fit – and “fit,” to be sure, is to be taken very loosely in any case – to serve as the Commander in Chief.
Keep looking, Governor Abercrombie. It must be around there somewhere.
But now comes the shocking – totally shocking – news that Governor has been unable to locate that pesky original birth certificate.
Wherever could it be?
There has to be a logical explanation, right?
Well, IHateTheMedia.com to the rescue.
We’re offering Governor Abercrombie the top ten places he should look for the document.
10. It might be under the unicorn feeder, not too far from the magic money printing press that Ben Bernanke uses.
9. The certificate may have been sacrificed to the volcano gods to ensure good luck. After two years of the Obama administration, it obviously didn’t work.
8. Check under Obama’s copy of the Koran signed by Ayatollah Khomeini. The one that reads: “To Barry. Good luck on the whole Manchurian thing. Kho-money.”
7. Perhaps it’s under a stack of promises to close Gitmo.
6. May be tucked in the pages of well-annotated Community Organizing for Dummies book.
5. Have you looked in George Soros’ command bunker? Check under those stacks of Chinese yuan and the deed to Obama’s soul.
4. May have accidentally passed it out as a syllabus during short stint as Harvard lecturer.
3. Pawned for crack in 90s.
2. Hillary Clinton may have it tucked in her jock strap.
“KGUN. On your side,” the station’s current call letters and slogan must be changed. And since we’re the ones who pointed out the lurking danger in KGUN’s call letters, we feel it’s also our responsibility to suggest new call letters and slogans.
As highly-trained mental health professionals, we have determined that the call letters of Tucson television station KGUN were the straw that broke the back of young Jared Loughner’s mind (ignore the mixed metaphor, damn it. We said we are highly-trained mental health professionals, not professional writers). You can see that analysis in our accompanying article here.
We demand – and we’re sure that all right-thinking Americans join us in this demand – that KGUN change its call letters so that it will no longer provoke young Arizona psychotics into violence.
KGUN News. Shooting our mouths off at 5, 6 and 11.
“KGUN. On your side,” the station’s current call letters and slogan must be changed. And since we’re the ones who pointed out the lurking danger in KGUN’s call letters, we feel it’s also our responsibility to suggest new call letters and slogans for this unfortunately named Tucson TV station. Like these:
KPOW. Explosive news every night at 6 o’clock! KILL. Hard-hitting news that’ll wipe out the competition! KA47. Rapid fire news! KOPS. We’re watching you watch us! KAAP. We be busting news bullets all day, homie! KASS. It takes one to watch one! KOOK. That voice in your head is us! KISS. Keep It Stupid, Socialists! KNIF. We got your back! KRAP. Bringing you the straight poop! KEPT. The official news channel of John Kerry!
One other suggestion: KGUN really needs to stop carrying “Wipeout” Monday nights at 8:00. It may well be that Jared Loughner heard a network promotion that combined the words “Wipeout” and “GUN” in the same sentence just before his killing spree.
Makes as much sense as the theory that he was pushed over the edge by the image of crosshairs on a website he never visited.
Feel free to contribute your own suggested call letters and slogans.
Call us slow, but we just realized that the call letters of the ABC-TV affiliate in Tucson are KGUN. That means every time they do a station identification on the hour and half hour, they use violent rhetoric by spelling the word G-U-N. Gun.
Oh, wait. We can’t say “trigger.” That’s now defined as violent rhetoric. So please allow us to amend our headline so that it neither offends the innocent nor motivates the insane. How about:
“Call us armchair psychiatrists, but we think we’ve stumbled upon Jared Loughner’s motivation.”
There. That’s better. Much better. There’s certainly nothing dangerous nor threatening in that sentence. So now that our headline has been politically corrected, let’s proceed with our exposé.
Call us slow (you’ve certainly called us worse), but we just realized that the call letters of the ABC-TV affiliate in Tucson are KGUN.
That means every time they do a station identification on the hour and half hour, they use violent rhetoric by spelling the word G-U-N. Gun. A firearm. A personal weapon of mass destruction. A mindless, heartless instrument of death.
Sarah Palin and her little crosshairs pale in comparison to this subliminal message. This television station is clearly, solely responsible for young Jared Loughner’s actions. Just imagine what life must have been like for a lad who grew up in Tucson hearing the constant repetition of this irresponsible station’s violent call letters for 22 years. We contend that this is what finally drove young Jared Loughner over the edge. If, as liberals say, the mere sight of crosshairs is enough to incite violence, what must the gun-gun-gun drumbeat have done to the lad?
KGUN...KGUN...GUN...GUN...GUN...GUN
But wait. Why hasn’t anyone in the mainstream media mentioned these call letters until now? They blamed Sarah Plain. They blamed Rush Limbaugh. They blamed Glenn Beck. They blamed the Tea Party. They blamed common images on a lightly-visited website. But we’ve neither heard nor seen KGUN blamed on the nightly network newscasts nor trumpeted in the New York Times.
Is it really possible that an army of Fourth Estate types from around the world descended on Tucson and yet not one of them ever noticed that the call letters of the local ABC-TV affiliate contain the word GUN? Is it really possible that the same people who were perceptive enough to recognize the danger of showing crosshairs on a website Jared Loughner had probably never visited were not perceptive enough to notice that a station he grew up watching uses the word GUN every time it identifies itself? Is it really possible that they believe that Palin’s crosshairs image was powerful enough to set off Loughner’s psychosis, but were simultaneously able to ignore KGUN’s blatant call to violence?
Or was there, perhaps, an agenda that led them to attack Palin et al while simultaneously protecting one of their own?
For the sake of Tucson’s future, for the sake of Tucson’s safety, for the sake of Tucson’s troubled youth, we demand that KGUN change it’s call letters immediately. We hope you’ll join us in this effort.
Here’s your federal government in action. It took 2,388-pages and, we would imagine, several million dollars to set up a new series of laws that say, “Don’t throw a Frisbee to Fido and don’t let Rover run free.”
Here’s your federal government in action. It took 2,388-pages and, we would imagine, several million dollars to set up a new series of laws that say, “Don’t throw a Frisbee to Fido and don’t let Rover run free.”
The newest class of criminals in San Francisco
Not if you live in San Francisco, that is. The eco-wackos have studied these issues in great detail and set out a whole new list of restrictions.
The San Francisco Examiner details the new doggie no-noes:
The federal government proposes to drastically reduce where dogs can roam off leash in the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, and limit the number of animals that professionals can walk at one time to as few as three.
In The City, for instance, people who want to let their dogs roam freely at Fort Funston would be limited to a stretch of shoreline and a section by the parking lot. And off-leash enjoyment would be prohibited entirely at Lands End and Baker Beach, which currently allow animals to be managed by voice control.
The suggestions are part of a 2,388-page, 14-pound draft environmental impact report outlining the proposed rules at 21 federal open spaces in San Francisco, San Mateo and Marin counties.
Also, the recreation area is proposing that dog owners at Ocean Beach, Fort Mason and four other open spaces in The City abide by more-constricting rules.
The new system is meant to strike a balance between park landscape, native wildlife and the 16 million visitors — which includes dog owners and hang-glider users — who visit the park’s open spaces each year.
Oh, fine. As if the new restrictions on dogs weren’t bad enough, now we find out they also apply to hang gliders.
So remember to take a plastic bag and clean up after your hang glider, because you know what a mess they can make on the beach.
Let’s just say it right now: the only thing that can keep this guy from eventually becoming Speaker of the House is an even higher office.
Damn, we love Congressman Paul Ryan.
Let’s just say it right now: the only thing that can keep this guy from eventually becoming Speaker of the House is an even higher office.
Watch this video clip of his speech on the floor of the House on Wednesday. His mastery of the subject is remarkable. His passion is palpable. His oratory skills are ….
Oh, crap. We’re starting to feel that tingle up the leg that Chris Matthews feels when he sees Obama.
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.
It was late in the day when Michelle came into the Oval Office.
It would probably be more accurate to say that she ‘oozed’ into the office. Michelle wore a clinging, sleeveless dinner gown that reached to the floor and hugged every curve. With her newest Wonder Bra beneath, she was a flaming siren. And she knew it.
Michelle reached his desk and leaned against it provocatively. "How do things look, Mr. President?" she purred.
Barack looked up from his desk as she slinked across the room and smiled. “Hi, Honey,” he said, “how’re things?”
Michelle reached his desk and leaned against it provocatively. “How do things look, Mr. President?” she purred.
“Well, things look pretty good from where I’m sitting,” said Barack. “But why are you all dressed up, Baby?”
“Oh, I just thought it would be nice if we went out to dinner tonight,” she said. She cocked her right arm and made a muscle. Barack couldn’t help but notice her bicep was bigger than his. “It’s been said that I have the right to ‘bare arms’,” said Michelle. “And maybe later, I can use them to serve dessert.” She jiggled provocatively.
“Out?” said Barack. “You mean out of the White House?”
“Yes, out of the White House,” she chuckled. “We can do that, you know.” She paused, then added, in a street-slang inflection, “You are the prez-ee-dent …”
“Uh, sure, sure,” said Barack. “But if we’re going out, maybe you should change into something a little less flamboyant, don’t you think?”
Michelle looked decidedly less than happy. “What?”
“I mean,” Barack went on, “something a little less like you’re trying to be Michelle Antoinette. You’ve heard what people are saying. Um, about your wardrobe, those $2,500-dollar gowns, you know … Just a suggestion … ”
“Are you saying I can’t dress up once in a while and go out with my husband to dinner?” Her tone had definitely dropped into the ‘frigid’ zone.
“It’s just that people are going to think we’re elitists,” hedged Barack. “Dressing fancy, going out on the town, and such.”
Michelle was having none of it. “We are elitists, Mister,” snapped Michelle. “And your stupid health care bill proves it.”
It was Barack’s turn to be shocked. “What do you mean by ‘stupid’?” he asked, his own anger aroused.
“It’s simple, my dear,” said Michelle. “This wonderful bill is going to force everyone to see doctors they don’t know, don’t believe in, and don’t want, all for the sake of your pride. And, by the way, are we going to be a part of this revolutionary health plan?”
“No, of course not,” said Barack, a bit too hastily. “I mean, we have our own executive health plan in place, and – ”
“And so does Congress,” finished Michelle nastily. “A very good plan, too. All the best, and all for free. If that’s not elitist, I don’t know what is.”
Barack had had enough. He stood up and said through gritted teeth, “Fine, let’s go out, Marie. Let’s go out. And maybe, if we’re lucky, we can find a restaurant with a good salad bar.”
Michelle whirled on him, a dangerous glint in her eyes. “Oh, a little dig against my plan for our school cafeterias, huh? Anything else you’d like to add?”
“No, I think that’s about it,” said Barack snidely.
Michelle started walking toward the door, and said over her shoulder, “Well, I have something to add. The kids and I will be going to dinner tonight. Alone.” She continued moving toward the door, then added, “And you can forget about dessert later on. You can also forget about sleeping in my bedroom tonight.”
“What?” said a perplexed Barack. “Where am I supposed to sleep, then?”
Michelle turned and glared at Barack. “This house has lots of spare bedrooms. You can sleep wherever you want. After all, you are the prez-ee-dent.” And she was gone.
Silence once again prevailed in the Oval Office. Barack expelled a breath he’d been holding for too long. Now what? he wondered. This isn’t going to be good. Then, stray thoughts began to intrude. Wait a minute. I’m going to be in my own room tonight. I can do whatever I want …
He slowly pulled his desk drawer open. The pack of Marlboros stared up at him in mute supplication.
Fox News host Neil Cavuto spent eight minutes with the Sheila Jackson Lee, the incredibly dense Democrat Congresswoman from Texas. Eight painful minutes trying to convince her that her defense of ObamaCare was flawed.
Pity poor Neil Cavuto. The Fox News host spent eight minutes with the Sheila Jackson Lee, the incredibly dense Democrat Congresswoman from Texas. Eight painful minutes trying to convince her that her defense of ObamaCare was flawed. Eight minutes Cavuto will never get back.
Cavuto and Jackson Lee disagree, but keep in mind that she once asked a NASA administrator if a Mars rover would be able to send back photos of the place where Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin planted the American flag.
She’s a sharp one, that Sheila Jackson Lee.
NOTE: The freeze frame may make it look like these are the same videos, but they’re not. Watch both for the full, glorious display of Jackson Lee’s genius.
President Obama is losing weight. No matter how many times he takes his daughters out for ice cream, he just keeps getting skinnier
President Obama is losing weight. No matter how many times he takes his daughters out for ice cream, he just keeps getting skinnier. He now has the wrists of a slender, young girl, which may help explain the way he throws a baseball.
We've gone from a president with intestinal fortitude to a president with an intestinal parasite
The National Enquirer has the full skinny:
The real reason behind PRESIDENT OBAMA’s shocking weight loss – he’s secretly battling stomach parasites, say sources.
The pencil-thin president caught the parasites on a trip last year to Hawaii, where he and his family also vacationed over Christmas, according to top political insiders.
“Barack has wanted to keep the stomach parasites under the radar,” revealed a close source.
“There had been a public health warning about them in Hawaii when he caught them.”
First, consider that two years ago we had the spectacle of the media fawning over the greatest pecs in the history of the presidency when Obama strode mightily out of the Hawaiian surf. Now consider the fact that no beach photos were allowed during his last Hawaiian sojourn. His now frightening physique could explain the difference.
You learn something every day in this life, don’t you? For example, we never knew that parasites could get parasites.
A hat tip for the funny line goes out to our buddy who’s a DJ syndicated on about 100 radio stations from coast to coast. He couldn’t use the line on his hilarious, but non-political morning show so he sent it on to us.
A hat tip for the funny line goes out to our buddy who’s a DJ syndicated on about 150 radio stations from coast to coast. He couldn’t use the line on his hilarious, but non-political morning show so he sent it on to us.
Many cities schedule orientation meetings for their new employees. But in the near future the liberal bastion of Berkeley, California may have to schedule re-orientation meetings. Sexual re-orientation, that is.
Many cities schedule orientation meetings for their new employees. But in the near future the liberal bastion of Berkeley, California may have to schedule re-orientation meetings. Sexual re-orientation, that is.
CNSnews.com reports on the ol’ switcheroo:
Berzerkeley, California: Now providing legal tender for the transgender
“While other cities are slashing employee benefits, Berkeley is slated to add one more: paying for sex-change operations,” the San Francisco Chronicle reported on Tuesday.
The Berkeley City Council was expected to vote Tuesday night on a proposal to reserve $20,000 annually for city employees’ gender-reassignment surgery, which is not covered by the city’s health insurance providers, the newspaper reported.
The benefit, to be distributed on a first-come, first-serve basis, would allow employees to collect the money before the operation.
And now, friends, you understand why the town is nicknamed Berzerkeley.
Heartbreak Update: The sex change surgery vote has been delayed. According to KTVU.com, “The Berkeley City Council Tuesday night postponed a vote on a staff proposal to appropriate $20,000 a year to pay for sex-change operations for city employees. Council members on Tuesday decided to delay a final decision on the issue until Feb. 15.” Stay tuned for the latest in transsexual news here at IHateTheMedia.com.
C’mon, Governor Moonbeam. New York and Illinois are just as determined to become the first state to declare bankruptcy as we are. Don’t let them beat us out. Let’s make California number one.
She’s a brand new, grand new flag. And we hope you non-Golden Staters will join us in saluting her.
C’mon, Governor Moonbeam. New York and Illinois are just as determined to become the first state to declare bankruptcy as we are. Don’t let them beat us out. Let’s make California number one.
Texas Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, noted Constitutional scholar and all-around genius, cements her nomination for Congressional Bonehead of the Year with this brilliant explanation of why, in her mind, repealing ObamaCare is unconstitutional.
Texas Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, noted Constitutional scholar and all-around genius, cements her nomination for Congressional Bonehead of the Year with this brilliant explanation of why, in her mind, repealing ObamaCare is unconstitutional.
The American Spectator reports Jackson Lee’s “interesting” analysis:
Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, a Democrat from Texas, said on Tuesday afternoon that repealing the national health care law would violate the Constitution.
Arguing that the Commerce Clause provides the constitutional basis for ObamaCare, Jackson Lee said repealing the law by passing Republicans’ H.R. 2 violates both the Fifth Amendment’s right to due process and the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause.
“The Fifth Amendment speaks specifically to denying someone their life and liberty without due process,” she said in a speech on the House floor moments ago. “That is what H.R. 2 does and I rise in opposition to it. And I rise in opposition because it is important that we preserve lives and we recognize that 40 million-plus are uninsured.
She continued, “Can you tell me what’s more unconstitutional than taking away from the people of America their Fifth Amendment rights, their Fourteenth Amendment rights, and the right to equal protection under the law?”
This is, of course, the same Sheila Jackson Lee who once asked a NASA scientist if the Mars Pathfinder had photographed the flag that our astronatus left on the moon.
We’re not constitutional scholars like Sheila Jackson Lee, so maybe you can help us out with this question:
Is there anything in the Constitution that prohibits morons from serving in Congress?
