I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Biden calls Iraq one of Obama’s greatest achievements. In other words, “Mission accomplished.”

Rick Santelli’s rant started the tea party movement one year ago tomorrow

One year ago tomorrow, Rick Santelli went crazy on CNBC. It turned into an instant classic and inspired an entire movement. Way to go, Rick.

One year ago tomorrow, Rick Santelli went crazy on CNBC. It turned into an instant classic and inspired an entire movement.

Way to go, Rick.

52% say Obama doesn’t deserve reelection. That means 48% are deaf, dumb and blind.

52 percent of Americans said President Barack Obama doesn’t deserve reelection in 2012, according to a new poll.  44 percent of all Americans said they would vote to reelect the president in two and a half years, less than the slight majority who said they would prefer to elect someone else.  

depressed-obama — Keep talking, President Obama. It's really working out well for you.

According to a new CNN/Opinion Research survey, 52% of Americans think Obama’s doing such a lousy job that they wouldn’t vote for him for dogcatcher. We paraphrase, of course, but that’s the gist of the survey.

Specifically, it said, “52 percent of Americans said President Barack Obama doesn’t deserve reelection in 2012, according to a new poll.  44 percent of all Americans said they would vote to reelect the president in two and a half years, less than the slight majority who said they would prefer to elect someone else.  

“Obama faces a 44-52 deficit among both all Americans and registered voters, according to a CNN/Opinion Research poll released Tuesday. Four percent had no opinion.”

Unbeknownst to most media outlets, ACORN conducted a simultaneous survey. It found that 103% of all voters would vote for Obama twice, maybe three times, and that 108% of all conservatives are racists.

Source: The Hill

Top ten ways the real Obama is just like the carnival balloon Obama

“A float called ‘Yes we can be ecologist’ depicting U.S. President Barack Obama, parades during the 126th edition of the Nice Carnival, Saturday, Feb. 13, 2010, in Nice, southern France. The carnival’s theme this year is ‘King of the Blue Planet.’”

The Associated Press reports, “A float called ‘Yes we can be ecologist’ depicting U.S. President Barack Obama, parades during the 126th edition of the Nice Carnival, Saturday, Feb. 13, 2010, in Nice, southern France. The carnival’s theme this year is ‘King of the Blue Planet.’”

To tell the truth, we can’t tell if that damn thing is a balloon like you see in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade or something more akin to a Rose Parade float. But we’re going with balloon because the other answer screws up our entire premise.

So now, without further delay, the top ten ways the real Obama is just like the balloon Obama

Both rose to the top as a result of a lot of hot air
Both look down upon the masses
Both come with strings attached.
Both are willing to accept massive inflation
Both are traveling an ill-conceived path toward an ill-defined destination.
Both have very thin skin.
Both are being cheered by third-world rabble.
Both have swelled heads.
Both act as if they’re above it all.
It’s arguable as to which will be the bigger let-down.

Source: Associated Press

– Written by Sven Waring

The Governator versus the squirrels

Mr. Schwarzenegger singled out environmental obstacles that are blocking construction of alternative energy farms in the Mojave Desert.

killer-squirrel — Arnold girds his loins to do battle with the dreaded economy-killing squirrels

There was a time when Arnold Schwarzenegger battled alien robots and Russian spies. After several years in politics, his enemies have come down a few notches. He now fights squirrels.

The worst governor in California history is upset with economic impact of the red tape the Democrat-controlled legislature has imposed on the state.

The Wall Street Journal reports the governor’s grievances:

“Right now the way it’s written, a lot of those laws, it’s an invitation to misuse them,” he told reporters last week. “And it holds up projects for too long a period of time, especially now.”

Mr. Schwarzenegger singled out environmental obstacles that are blocking construction of alternative energy farms in the Mojave Desert. Some of his green allies have become “fanatics,” he said, and “go overboard.” He then launched an extended riff explaining why he thought environmental objections to the Mojave Desert projects on the grounds they could hurt endangered species were, well, specious.

“So the environmentalists . . . are confused because they want to have renewable energy but then when it comes to the permitting process, creating that renewable energy and building the solar plants, they are then in the way.

And they then talk about, ‘You cannot go and destroy this squirrel.'”

“I say, ‘What squirrel? I was out there, I didn’t see a squirrel.’

“They say, ‘Well, there could be a squirrel coming very soon.’

“So I say, ‘But there’s no squirrel there right now.’

“‘But you’ve got to protect things that could be there.'”

He’s right, of course, but it’s just difficult for any California resident to believe anything that comes out of this guy’s mouth anymore.

But by using squirrels, Schwarzenegger has captured the perfect metaphor for California’s dysfunctional government.

Source: Wall Street Journal

White House making voodoo doll that looks like CBS correspondent Mark Knoller?

CBS News White House correspondent Mark Knoller actually worked up the courage to speak the truth about President Obama’s “outreach” to Republicans, observing that while the President says he wants bipartisan solutions, what he really wants is Republican surrender.

Blasphemy! Heresy! Sacrilege!

Mr. Obama said he “won’t hesitate to embrace a good idea from my friends in the minority party.” But he wants his way. He wants his energy policy enacted along with his jobs bill, his financial regulatory reform and his health care plan.

And if the opposition continues to block his objectives, he said he “won’t hesitate to condemn what I consider to be obstinacy that’s rooted not in substantive disagreement but in political expedience.”

When a sitting president calls for bipartisanship by the opposition – he really means surrender. And if they block his proposals, its “obstinacy” and not political views they hold as strongly as he holds his.

This, of course, begs that question, why shouldn’t Obama expect them to surrender? The Republican party has a long, proud history of capitulation that makes them the envy of Frenchmen everywhere.

We can only hope that this time will be different.

Source: CBS News

That sound you hear is Al Gore sobbing: Only 35% still believe in man-made global warming

A new Rasmussen study that shows only 35% of Americans still believe in man-made global warming. When you subtract out all the people who make money off this colossal scam, we estimate that the resulting figure is about 2%.

Here are the details from Rasmussen:

Questions continue to mount over the science behind years of studies that say humans are chiefly to blame for global warming. But reflecting a trend that has been going on for more than a year, just 35% of U.S. voters now believe global warming is caused primarily by human activity.

The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 47% think long-term planetary trends are mostly to blame, down three points from the previous survey in January. Eight percent say there is some other reason, and 10% aren’t sure.

But 56% say President Obama still believes that human activity is the main cause of global warming. That’s the highest finding on that question since last March.The president went to a United Nations summit in Copenhagen in December in hopes of reaching an international agreement that would limit human activities that some scientists say contribute to global warming.

Thirty-five percent? Hell, Al, you could find a higher percentage of people who believe in flying saucers. And with good reason.

Source: Rasmussen

Janeane Garofalo meets Rosie O’Donnell. It’s like Mothra Meets Godzilla. Only scarier.

According to the lovely and effervescent Janeane Garofalo and the sweet and petite Rosie O’Donnell, everyone in the world is a liar. Or stupid. Everyone, that is, except liberals. They are pure, kind and generous. Especially with your money.

Have you ever heard two angrier, nastier human beings?

Barack Obama said we have 57 states. Joe Biden apparently thinks one of them is the state of denial.

success of the Stimulus Bill while speaking in a state with an unemployment rate of 14%? Did no one tell Biden that Michigan lost more than 160,000 jobs last year?

How do you explain Joe Biden congratulating himself for the success of the Stimulus Bill while speaking in a state with an unemployment rate of 14%? Did no one tell Biden that Michigan lost more than 160,000 jobs last year?

Despite reality staring him squarely in the eyes, Biden patted himself on the back and told the people of Michigan, “It’s working.”

Then he ran to his foreign-made limousine, jumped in and said, “These stupid buckeyes don’t know how good they’ve got it.”

Yeah, we made up that last paragraph. But you have to admit that it sounds like something Biden would say.

Feverishly, Barbara pressed her soft, moist lips to Hillary’s pouting breasts

No, we can’t explain this photo. But Democrat Senators Chuck Schumer and HIllary Clinton appear to be making a Barbara Mikulski sandwich. A ménage à droit, so to speak.

The thought is too horrifying to contemplate.

Donald Trump doesn’t want to work in Hollywood anymore

Donald Trump thinks Al Gore should be stripped of his fraudulently-obtained Nobel Peace Prize, an opinion that will not endear him to any of Hollywood’s greenies.

Naturally, the love Al Gore in the land of make believe. So a couple more comments like this one and they’ll run the star of television’s “The Apprentice” right out of Tinseltown.

The New York Post reports Trump’s comments:

“With the coldest winter ever recorded, with snow setting record levels up and down the coast, the Nobel committee should take the Nobel Prize back from Al Gore,” the tycoon told members of his Trump National Golf Club in Westchester in a recent speech. “Gore wants us to clean up our factories and plants in order to protect us from global warming, when China and other countries couldn’t care less. It would make us totally noncompetitive in the manufacturing world, and China, Japan and India are laughing at America’s stupidity.” The crowd of 500 stood up and cheered.

Next time you’re out in Hollywood, Donald, maybe you could suggest that Gore return his Oscar, too.

Source: New York Post

President talks about middle class tax increases. And why he doesn’t go to church anymore.

President Obama says he is now “agnostic” about raising taxes on households making under $250,000 a year to help cut budget deficits, signaling a possible retreat from a campaign pledge.

After all those years listening to Reverend Wright’s inspirational sermons, President Obama is now agnostic. Which explains why he’s willing to break his campaign pledge and consider tax increases for the middle class. And, we assume, why he hasn’t chosen a new church in Washington, D.C.

The New York Daily News explains:

President Obama says he is now “agnostic” about raising taxes on households making under $250,000 a year to help cut budget deficits, signaling a possible retreat from a campaign pledge.

In an interview with Bloomberg BusinessWeek on newsstands Friday, Obama said a presidential budget commission needs to look at all options for deficit reduction – including tax increases and cuts in spending on such programs as Social Security and Medicare.

“The whole point of it is to make sure that all ideas are on the table,” Obama said. “So what I want to do is to be completely agnostic, in terms of solutions.”
Obama repeatedly vowed during the 2008 campaign to spare households earning less than $250,000 a year from tax increases.

Please join us now in this heartfelt prayer:

Lord, we beseech thee. Please save us from eternal taxation.

Source: New York Daily News

CNN’s biggest story of the day: Rick Sanchez’ new hair style

CNN’s biggest story of the day: Rick Sanchez’ new hair style. CNN’s ratings are lower than the spirits in a room full of Democrats. This clip may explain why.

CNN’s ratings are lower than the spirits in a room full of Democrats. This clip may explain why.

Putting the news in perspective, Mallard Filmore style

Racist, sexist, homophobic Americans choose their favorite talk show hosts

“The Ellen DeGeneres Show” was, for the first time, on par with “The Oprah Winfrey Show” (and, in some cases, exceeding “Oprah”) in the minds of viewers.

In one corner, we have a occasionally overweight black woman. In the other corner, we have an annoying lesbian.

The New York Times reports the remarkably unbiased results:

Executives at Warner Brothers have long believed that Ellen DeGeneres is the heir apparent to Oprah Winfrey in daytime TV. Still, they were startled by the news that a media research firm delivered to them last spring.

The researchers from SmithGeiger, who had been hired to assess talk shows, convened to tell a group of six executives that “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” was, for the first time, on par with “The Oprah Winfrey Show” (and, in some cases, exceeding “Oprah”) in the minds of viewers.

How is this possible? How can racist, homophobic, sexist Americans possibly choose a fat, black woman and a lesbian as their favorite television talk show hosts?

Warner Brothers should demand its money back. The research is obviously faulty.

Source: New York Times

Dozens of new ways to be crazy. Brought to you by liberals.

According to the Daily Mail UK, there are “dozens of extravagantly titled ‘conditions’ under consideration for the latest edition of the Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – the psychiatrists’ ‘bible’.”

rahm-emanuel — Rahm Emanuel and the heartbreak of Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

“…the American Psychological Association, which compiles the manual, says the new disorders simply reflect changes in our society.”

Not only that, but if they don’t make every little personality quirk a “disorder,” poverty- stricken psychologists and psychiatrists will be unable to submit extravagant claims to their nearest ObamaCare payment processing center.

What kind of disorders are we talking about? Well, for example, it’s not that welfare deadbeat’s fault that he’s passive, dreamy and sluggish. He suffers from “sluggish cognitive temp disorder.”

It’s not Bill Clinton’s fault that he repeatedly acts out his sexual fantasies without any thought for the hurt it may cause others. He suffers from “Hypersexuality.”

Nor is it Hillary Clinton’s fault that she is not easily aroused. She suffers from “Sexual Arousal Disorder.”

It’s not those left wing blogger’s fault that they complain constantly. They suffer from “Negativistic Personality Disorder.

It’s not Rahm Emanuel’s fault that he screams obscenities. He suffers from “Intermittent Explosive Disorder.”

And on the conservative side, it’s not Dr. James Dobson’s fault that he “gets a thrill out of being appalled by pornography and other obscenities.” He suffers from “Mary Whitehouse Syndrome.”

Some experts think the whole thing is nonsense.

“Most of these diagnoses are meaningless and have no basis in science,” noted Richard Bentall, a professor of clinical psychology at Bangor University. “But the more disorders there are, the more private business psychiatrists get.”

Leave it to liberals to come up with a good excuse for a lousy personality.

Source: Daily Mail UK

When you’re done reading George Bush’s lips,
read Barack Obama’s

First, here’s George Bush’s infamous tax pledge. And now here’s Obama’s soon-to-be-infamous tax pledge.

First, here’s George Bush’s infamous tax pledge:

And now here’s Obama’s soon-to-be-infamous tax pledge:

Learned professor Barack H. Obama should study a little ancient history. A brief look back at the late 1980s would teach him what happens when a president breaks his pledge not to raise taxes.

Business Week reports Obama’s historic (but not unprecedented) misstep:

President Barack Obama said he is “agnostic” about raising taxes on households making less than $250,000 as part of a broad effort to rein in the budget deficit.

Obama, in a Feb. 9 Oval Office interview, said that a presidential commission on the budget needs to consider all options for reducing the deficit, including tax increases and cuts in spending on entitlement programs such as Social Security and Medicare.

“The whole point of it is to make sure that all ideas are on the table,” the president said in the interview with Bloomberg BusinessWeek, which will appear on newsstands Friday. “So what I want to do is to be completely agnostic, in terms of solutions.”

To ask a question that is asked more and more often these days, how’s that hope and change working out for you?

Source: Business Week

The State of the Union Address summarized
in one photo

The State of the Union Address summarized in one photo

White House buried in snow, temporarily replacing the bullshit in which it’s been buried for the last year

An historic blizzard hit Washington, DC this weekend, burying the White House under several feet of snow. This, of course, is definitive proof of global warming.

Burka blues: Arab ambassador divorces wife after discovering she’s cross-eyed and bearded

An Arab ambassador in Dubai has had his marriage annulled after discovering his new wife is cross-eyed and has a beard.

burqas — As we learned during Watergate, the cover-up is always worse than the crime

You gotta figure this is going to happen occasionally when you live in a society where sexy is defined as “Did you see that chick’s eyes? Hubba hubba.”

An Arab ambassador in Dubai has had his marriage annulled after discovering his new wife is cross-eyed and has a beard, Gulf News reported on Wednesday, citing sources close to the case.

The ambassador, who was not named, petitioned a court in the emirate for a divorce and compensation of 500,000 dirhams ($136,202) for money spend on gifts, the UAE daily reported.

The man only found out about his wife’s appearance after the couple had signed a marriage contract and the husband wanted to kiss his spouse, the newspaper said.

The woman, a Gulf national, had worn a niqab each time they had met, it added.

“Every time the couple met, the bride would do her best not to reveal her entire face,” the source was quoted as saying.

“He claimed to the sharia court officials that when he wanted to kiss his wife-to-be, he discovered that she was bearded and cross-eyed as well.”

But she had a really nice personality.

Source: Maktoob News

Dick Cheney thinks Joe Biden is chortle-worthy

Dick Cheney: Well (laugh) I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by my friend Joe Biden. I’m glad he now believes Iraq is a success. Of course, Obama and Biden campaigned from one end of the country to another for two years criticizing our Iraq policy.

Dick Cheney showed up on ABC’s This Week on Sunday morning and didn’t disappoint.

He was asked about Joe Biden’s claim that Iraq would be seen as one of the Obama Administration greatest achievements. Cheney response? The former Vice President just couldn’t help himself. He laughed.

Here’s the transcript:

Jonathan Karl: One thing he (Joe Biden) said is that he thinks Iraq would ultimately prove to be one of the greatest achievements of the Obama Administration.

Dick Cheney: Well (laugh) I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by my friend Joe Biden. I’m glad he now believes Iraq is a success. Of course, Obama and Biden campaigned from one end of the country to another for two years criticizing our Iraq policy. They opposed the surge that was absolutely crucial to our getting to the point where we’re at now with respect to Iraq. For them to try to take credit for what’s happened in Iraq strikes me as a little strange. If they had had their way, if we followed the policies of pursued from the outset or abdicated, Saddam Hussein would still be in power in Baghdad today.

Ahhhh, that wild and crazy Joe Biden. The same guy who once took credit for a speech written by a British politician now takes credit for a war won by a Republican president.

Once a cheat, always a cheat. Or once a moron, always a moron. We’re not sure which.

Source: Bluegrass Pundit

Al Gore loses horse race by six-and-one-half lengths

A long-shot filly named GlobalWarmnSceptic won the first race of her hopefully long and fruitful career by six lengths. She paid 7-1/2 to one.

You’d have made a small fortune if you’d been at the thoroughbred horse races in the lovely little town of Naracoorte, South Australia the other day. Because you would have mortgaged your house to get enough money to bet on one horse in the second race.