Al Gore Articles Archive

That Al Gore is quite a guy! He takes faked global warming, er, sorry, climate change data, data from Penn State and the University of East Anglia, then wows people with the now discredited Hockey Stick, parlays that into a book, a movie and a sham Academy Award, and then when he’s got the entire world thinking the sky is falling, gets himself a politically-motivated Nobel Peace Prize. All this on something that isn’t even real, pure junk science.

Well, if you dislike Al Gore as much as we do, you’ll enjoy the scores of articles below.

Here’s all the proof you need to know that Al Gore is completely innocent of those bogus sexual assault charges in Portland.

In case you’ve forgotten, Gore is the poet laureate of global warming. All he’d have to do is recite a little of his coffee house poetry and any liberal woman would swoon.

In fact, based on this video clip, liberal men would swoon, too. Because if we’re not mistaken, Harry Smith gets a little damp upon hearing Gore’s seductive words.

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sam-adams-portland-mayor

Congratulations to Portland mayor Sam Adams. The Associated Press has promoted him from mayor to governor.

According to the Associated Press,”Police in the US state of Portland are reopening an investigation into an Oregon massage therapist’s allegations that former vice-president Al Gore groped her at an upscale hotel in 2006.”

“After Delaware, Portland’s my favorite state,” Joe Biden responded. “Rains too much for my taste, but they have a damn fine governor out there. God love him.”

NOTE: Joe didn’t really say that. We made it up, but it sure sounds like something he would say if asked.

H/T: Tim Blair

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al-gore-chakra

Euphemism alert: Al Gore needs to have his chakra released

Damn it. That’s what we get for skimming over the police statement made by Al Gore’s masseuse. The Washington Examiner pulled two quotes that we somehow overlooked.

Please allow us to correct that oversight by quoting the Examiner.

Quote #1: Chakra to me, chakra to me, chakra to me

Then, abruptly, the former vice president changed tone. It was “as though he had very suddenly switched personalities,” she recalled and began in a pleading tone, pleading for release of his second chakra there.”

“Chakra,” in Gore’s new-agey jargon, refers to the body’s “energy centers,” which the masseuse interpreted as having a specific meaning. “This was yet another euphemism for sexual activity he was requesting,” she told police, “put cleverly as though it were a spiritual request or something.”

Quote #2: Just suck it up

Finally she got away. Later, she talked to friends, liberals like herself, who advised against telling police. One asked her “to just suck it up; otherwise, the world’s going to be destroyed from global warming.”

Thanks, Mr. Former Vice President. Looks like you not only invented the internet, you invented funny.

Source: Washington Examiner

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al gore current tv ratings

Al Gore gives Current TV's financial condition a big thumbs down

Poor Al Gore. Current TV was supposed to be the vehicle he used to conquer the media. That vehicle has sputtered, stalled, and is now sitting on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck.

The Hollywood Reporter has the tragic television tale:

For much of the past year, Current TV has been quietly undergoing an overhaul that will change just about everything but the struggling channel’s name. Current declined comment for this story.

It’s a revitalization project Gore & Co. embarked on after exhausting a more lucrative possibility: selling the channel. Current’s founding partner, Joel Hyatt, spent much of 2009 shopping the network with a price tag that wildly overestimated the company’s worth, confirmed sources at several conglomerates. Current even had extensive sale talks as far back as 2007 with Google, where Gore serves as a senior advisor.

Now the focus has shifted to fixing Current, perhaps with an eye toward a sale down the road. Last July, Hyatt was replaced as CEO by Mark Rosenthal, the former MTV Networks COO who is rebuilding the channel in the traditional mold Gore avowed to avoid, only to suffer the consequences.

For all the brilliance he has displayed grasping the meteorological dynamics governing the globe, Gore has miscalculated those of a slightly less complex world: the TV business. The radical ambitions he brought to the environment didn’t pan out the same way in cable; the television will not be revolutionized.

Not a good year for the man who was once the next president of the United States. Global warming has been exposed as a fraud. His wife dumped him. His massage therapist spilled the beans on him. And now his cable TV operation has disappointed him.

On the other hand, that’s made it a pretty good year for us.

Source: Hollywood Reporter

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Al Gore denies trying to show the wonders of his hockey stick to a Portland, Oregon massage therapist, whose charges against him are now public in a Portland Police Report. But, Al, you invented the internet, you hang with the techies at Google and Apple, and you didn’t know how easy it was to have your little encounter secretly videotaped?

Yup, we’ve got our hot little hands on the video.

We present to you the exclusive Chinese language video of the Former Next President of the United States’ massage therapy session.

How do you say Not So Happy Ending in Mandarin?

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The opening line of An Inconvenient Truth is “Hi, I’m Al Gore and I used to be the next president of the United States.”

When he said it, everyone laughed and assumed the poor fellow had recovered from the emotional devastation of losing the presidency in 2000 and had learned to deal with it by using self-deprecating humor.

Now it appears that we were wrong. He wasn’t joking, he was complaining. He’s still tortured by that loss. So tortured, in fact, that he uses the same line in a sad attempt to seduce women. To forcibly seduce women, if you know what we mean.

The Portland Oregonian has too much information:

[You’re not done, click to read it all…]

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Here’s the complete Portland Police Department report on the sexual assault complaint against Al Gore.

Maybe he should have stuck with some of the surefire pick-up lines that have worked so well for him in the past. Like, “Global warming ain’t nothin’ compared to the warming in my pants, baby” or “Have you ever wanted to see what a hanging chad really looks like?” or “You know, I’m from Tennessee and I’d sure like to go down south with you” or “If you’re real nice to me, I’ll let you polish my Oscar.”

Use the “Full” button at the bottom to read full screen

Use the “Full” button at the bottom to read full screen

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al gore massage sex scandal

Saving the world from global warming is hard work. Your muscles get tense. You need relief. Special relief, if you know what we mean.

The news of an Al Gore sex scandal broke hot and heavy yesterday afternoon. Even hotter and heavier, apparently, than the action in Al Gore’s Portland hotel room.

First the National Enquirer broke this story:

ENQUIRER WORLD EXCLUSIVE: AL GORE has been accused of sexually attacking a masseuse in Portland, Oregon – and is named in the official police report about the alleged assault, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively!

The bombshell story will appear in the new issue of The ENQUIRER and will include the secret police documents, a photo of the woman making the stunning charges and will reveal the shocking details about the pants she saved as evidence!

Our investigative team uncovered the amazing story just weeks after the former Vice President announced that he and wife TIPPER were ending their 40-year marriage – amidst reports she suspected her husband was involved with “a gorgeous massage therapist.”

We have verified the 62-year-old former VP was in Portland at the time of the alleged incident – Oct. 24, 2006 – and we saw the $540 massage bill.

If you’re not inclined to believe the Enquirer, despite its record of breaking sex scandal stories, maybe you’ll believe the Portland Police Department.

The Oregonian verified the Enquirer’s story with this item:

The Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office confirmed today that a woman who alleged unwanted sexual contact by Al Gore reported it to police in 2006, and the prosecutor’s office was briefed by the Portland Police Bureau in late 2006 and January 2007.

“We were told the woman was not willing to be interviewed by the Portland Police Bureau and did not want a criminal investigation to proceed,’’ Multnomah County District Attorney Michael Schrunk said, in a prepared statement.

Can you imagine how perfect this story will be if the masseuse was wearing a blue dress and there’s DNA involved.

Source: National Enquirer, Oregonian

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Al Gore & Laurie David

Aha! Didn’t you just know that it was going to come out that Al Gore had an affair with some Hollywood bimbo?

Of course, we have to admit that we thought he’d pick a younger one. You know, one whose hot flashes wouldn’t contribute to global warming.

Star Magazine spills the beans on the horn dog Goracle:

Al Gore’s split from wife Tipper after 40 years of marriage was a shock to everyone who thought theirs was the ideal marriage. Now Star can exclusively reveal that the former Vice President was having an affair with Larry David’s ex-wife — for the past two years!

In the June 28 issue of Star, on sale Wednesday, we report that Al and Tipper’s breakup didn’t come as much of a surprise to one Hollywood player — Laurie David. Star has learned that Al has been having an affair with Laurie, who divorced Seinfeld creator and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David in 2007 amidst reports she was cheating with the caretaker of their Martha’s Vineyard summer home.

“Al and Laurie went from friends to lovers,” an insider tells Star. “It couldn’t be avoided.”

These two lunatics are made for each other. Check out our earlier stories on Laurie David here and here.

Just imagine that pillow talk, “Gore me, big boy, gore me. Explore my sensitive wetlands. Make my globes hotter than they’ve been since my medieval warming period. Park your Prius in my garage.”

Sorry. We’ve gone too far even for us. Pardon us while we go throw up.

Source: Star Magazine

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Andrew Sullivan, once a conservative blogger, but now an attention-seeking lunatic, appeared on Bill Maher’s HBO show Friday night. He had too much information about
Al Gore.

“It is well known in Washington,” Sullivan cooed, “that he is the most hung politician around.”

We’re not quite sure how to break this to you, Andrew, but you misinterpreted the rumors.

They said he is a big dick, not he has a big dick.

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That torrid kiss that steamed up the 2000 Democrat convention will not be reoccurring soon. Although we reported couple weeks ago that Al and Tipper Gore were moving to Montecito, California, it now appears that they’re heading for Splitsville instead.

Politico has the details:

In an “Email from Al and Tipper Gore,” the couple said: “We are announcing today that after a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate.

“This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend to comment further.”

We’re betting Albert gets the beach house and that the red hot California beach babes running in and out of the place will melt not just the glaciers, but Al’s icy exterior.

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Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal said he served in Vietnam, but never left the safety of the United States. And he said that he was captain of Harvard’s swim team, but he wasn’t even a member of the team.

But he’s not the only politician who’s attempted to advance his career with a resume-enhancing tall tale or two. Just the latest.

For example:

1. The imaginary Obama-Kennedy connection

jfk-obama-resume-lie

Sen. Barack Obama attempted to link himself to the Kennedy legacy when he said JFK’s family had “paid for his Kenyan father to travel to America on a student scholarship and thus meet his Kansan mother.”

But the Washington Post reveals the truth: “Contrary to Obama’s claims in speeches in January at American University and in Selma last year, the Kennedy family did not provide the funding for a September 1959 airlift of 81 Kenyan students to the United States that included Obama’s father. According to historical records and interviews with participants, the Kennedys were first approached for support for the program nearly a year later, in July 1960. The family responded with a $100,000 donation, most of which went to pay for a second airlift in September 1960.”

[Click to see the other 14 tall tales…]

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Al Gore

Albert H. Gore. The "H", of course, stands for Hypocrite

Sometimes a mansion in Tennessee just isn’t enough. When you’re busy jetting around the world saving humanity from the terrors of global warming, you really need a west coast getaway. So global warming hypocrite Al Gore has now purchased a little place in California.

Oh, wait. Did we say “little place”? Not exactly. It’s a huge friggin’ estate overlooking the Pacific ocean in toney Montecito, California.

The Los Angeles Times reports the hypocritical news:

Former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, have added a Montecito-area property to their real estate holdings, reports the Montecito Journal.

The couple spent $8,875,000 on an ocean-view villa on 1.5 acres with a swimming pool, spa and fountains, a real estate source familiar with the deal confirms. The Italian-style house has six fireplaces, five bedrooms and nine bathrooms.

For those of you who don’t live in California, let us explain local real estate terminology.

“Peekaboo ocean view” means you can see the ocean if you stand on a chair and look out the kitchen window.

“Ocean view” means you can see a patch of blue without standing on the chair.

“Oceanfront” means there are actual waves lapping at your back door.

Some people wonder why a man as wealthy as Gore didn’t spring for an oceanfront house.

Well, the fact is that Al Gore is just plain smarter than we common folk. He knows that as the oceans rise, his new house will eventually become oceanfront.

Source: Los Angeles Times

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barack obama

"Now...uhhh...hold on, fellas...uhhh...I'm the most...uhhh...lovable President ever."

Story Number One: Sycophantic reporters are growing tired of getting the runaround from “the most transparent administration in history.”

Politico.com has the details:

Reporters say the White House is thin-skinned, controlling, eager to go over their heads and stingy with even basic information. All White Houses try to control the message. But this White House has pledged to be more open than its predecessors – and reporters feel it doesn’t live up to that pledge in several key areas:

• Day-to-day interaction with Obama is almost non-existent, and he talks to the press corps far less often than Bill Clinton or even George W. Bush did. Clinton took questions nearly every weekday, on average. Obama barely does it once a week.

• The ferocity of pushback is intense. A routine press query can draw a string of vitriolic emails. A negative story can draw a profane high-decibel phone call – or worse. Some reporters feel like they’ve been frozen out after crossing the White House.

• Except for a few reporters, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs can be distant and difficult to reach – even though his job is to be one of the main conduits from president to press. “It’s an odd White House where it’s easier to get the White House chief of staff on the phone than the White House press secretary,” one top reporter said.

• And at the very moment many reporters feel shut out, one paper – the New York Times – enjoys a favoritism from Obama and his staff that makes competitors fume, with gift-wrapped scoops and loads of presidential face-time.

When the Goracle speaks, reporters must listen. Or else.

Story Number Two: You’d better be sitting down for this one. Al Gore is angry and says the press gives too much attention to “ridiculous claims” of global warming deniers.

Of course, you can rest assured that AlGore.com will give you a fair and balanced report:

Last week The Wall Street Journal published a ridiculous op-ed titled “Climate Science in Denial” claiming that “global warming alarmists have been discredited, but you wouldn’t know it from the rhetoric this Earth Day.” 



Marc Ambinder of The Atlantic does an exceptional job dismantling this ridiculous claim: 

“Actually, the subhead should be revised: “Global warming denialists have been re-discredited, but you wouldn’t know it from the rhetoric in today’s Wall Street Journal.” Far be it from me, a non-scientist, to dispute the scientific expertise of an MIT professor of meteorology, Richard Lindzen, but then again, Lindzen’s selective recitation of the litany of arguments against global warming practically begs a rebuttal.” 


“First, he mentions “Climate Gate” — those e-mails from the Climate Research Unit from the University of East Anglia. He suggests that the e-mails show “unambiguous evidence of the unethical suppression of information and opposing viewpoints, and even data manipulation.”” 


“The e-mails were actually quite ambiguous and contained evidence of churlishness and defensiveness from scientists whose data had long been under attack from climate denialists.” 



Much of the media has done a particularly bad job covering the climate crisis. Instead of informing the public about the facts, they have treated the issue as if the same political divisions they exuberantly cover also exist in the scientific community. They don’t.

Our advice? Ignore both stories. Disagreements between the media and Democrats mean about as much as spats between middle school spats between BFFs.

Source: Politico.com, AlGore.com

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[Click to read the text from the image…]

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It sucks when your own words come back to haunt you. It really sucks.

For example, Al Gore prophesied two years ago that “the entire North Polari(ized) cap will disappear in 5 years.” New York, he said, would disappear under the rising seas. And the world would end in a rising tide of…well…rising tides.

In this clip, Al Gore gets ambushed by O’Reilly producer Jesse Watters. He squeals like little girl who just saw a spider.

Turns out sea ice has increased by hundreds of thousands of square miles since Gore’s prediction. And the only thing disappearing is the former vice president’s credibility.

H/T: Gateway Pundit

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The snowiest decade on record was…?

by editor on March 6, 2010

Evil climate denier Anthony Watt says 2001-2010 was the world’s snowiest decade in, well, decades. And Rutgers University has the stats to back him up. But Al Gore says you should just ignore all that fluffy white stuff you’re up to your ass in.

“Just as it’s important not to miss the forest for the trees, neither should we miss the climate for the snowstorm,” Gore wrote in a wonky Op-Ed for The New York Times.

“The heavy snowfalls this month have been used as fodder for ridicule by those who argue that global warming is a myth,” he acknowledged.

“Yet scientists have long pointed out that warmer global temperatures have been increasing the rate of evaporation from the oceans,” he wrote. And that puts “significantly more moisture into the atmosphere – thus causing heavier downfalls of both rain and snow.”

Unfortunately for the Goracle, Watt and the Rutgers University Global Snow Lab respectfully disagree. At least we think it was respectful.

“Now that we have reached the end of the meteorological winter (December-February,) Rutgers University Global Snow Lab numbers (1967-2010) show that the just completed decade (2001-2010) had the snowiest Northern Hemisphere winters on record. The just completed winter was also the second snowiest on record, exceeded only by 1978. Average winter snow extent during the past decade was greater than 45,500,000 km2, beating out the 1960s by about 70,000 km2, and beating out the 1990s by nearly 1,000,000 km2. The bar chart below shows average winter snow extent for each decade going back to the late 1960s.”

Who’s your money on?

Source: New York Daily News, WattsUpWithThat.com

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Thumbs up, Loteros! If global warming won’t kill people, darn it, they’ll just have to kill themselves.

Our alternate headline for this story was “Al Gore involved in murder-suicide pact.”

The New York Daily News reports the truly tragic result of global warming hysteria:

A seven-month-old girl miraculously survived alone for three days after one of her parents shot her in the chest – apparently as part of a bizarre murder-suicide pact blamed on global warming.

The baby was discovered with a bullet casing in her chest and covered with blood by police in the Argentinean city of Goya, near the bodies of her parents and 2-year-old brother, the Latin American Herald reported Saturday.

Police broke into the home after neighbors complained of a stench coming from the house. The boy was found with a gunshot wound in his back, while his parents died from gunshot wounds to the chest.

The parents, 56-year-old Francisco Lotero and 23-year-old Miriam Coletti, are believed to have been spurred by their fears about global climate change, London’s Telegraph reported.

A letter was found on a table expressing the couple’s anger at the government for not responding to the environmental crisis.

As a result of these tragic and truly needless deaths, we can no longer say Teddy Kennedy’s car has killed more people than global warming has.

So we bid a fond farewell to Lotero family and a great bumper sticker.

Source: New York Daily News

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A billion dollars in the bank and he's still the fat kid who gets picked on by all the cool kids

$1,000,000 to the first reader who can tell us what’s wrong with that headline. Oh, sorry, time’s up.

The answer is, Al Gore didn’t become a laughingstock at the Apple meeting. The guy’s always been a laughingstock.

CNET reports the continuing disintegration of the Gore lore:

The presence of one of the world’s pre-eminent environmentalists at Apple’s shareholder meeting Thursday was the subject of much of the morning’s pointed discussion.

As expected, Apple’s attitude on environmental and sustainability issues was one of the main concerns of the stockholders present Thursday, followed closely by the company’s immense pile of cash. But early harsh comments about former Vice President Al Gore’s record set the tone.

Gore was seated in the first row, along with his six fellow board members, in Apple’s Town Hall auditorium as several stockholders took turns either bashing or praising his high-profile views on climate change.

At the first opportunity for audience participation just several minutes into the proceeding, a longtime and well-known Apple (AAPL) shareholder–some would say gadfly–who introduced himself as Sheldon, stood at the microphone and urged against Gore’s re-election to the board. Gore “has become a laughingstock. The glaciers have not melted,” Sheldon said, referring to Gore’s views on global warming. “If his advice he gives to Apple is as faulty as his views on the environment then he doesn’t need to be re-elected.”

While this attitude might crush the spirit of lesser men, it is not expected to bother Gore. Not being elected is nothing new to him.

Source: CNET

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"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

A new Rasmussen study that shows only 35% of Americans still believe in man-made global warming. When you subtract out all the people who make money off this colossal scam, we estimate that the resulting figure is about 2%.

Here are the details from Rasmussen:

Questions continue to mount over the science behind years of studies that say humans are chiefly to blame for global warming. But reflecting a trend that has been going on for more than a year, just 35% of U.S. voters now believe global warming is caused primarily by human activity.

The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 47% think long-term planetary trends are mostly to blame, down three points from the previous survey in January. Eight percent say there is some other reason, and 10% aren’t sure.

But 56% say President Obama still believes that human activity is the main cause of global warming. That’s the highest finding on that question since last March.The president went to a United Nations summit in Copenhagen in December in hopes of reaching an international agreement that would limit human activities that some scientists say contribute to global warming.

Thirty-five percent? Hell, Al, you could find a higher percentage of people who believe in flying saucers. And with good reason.

Source: Rasmussen

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Donald Trump thinks Al Gore should be stripped of his fraudulently-obtained Nobel Peace Prize, an opinion that will not endear him to any of Hollywood’s greenies.

Naturally, the love Al Gore in the land of make believe. So a couple more comments like this one and they’ll run the star of television’s “The Apprentice” right out of Tinseltown.

The New York Post reports Trump’s comments:

“With the coldest winter ever recorded, with snow setting record levels up and down the coast, the Nobel committee should take the Nobel Prize back from Al Gore,” the tycoon told members of his Trump National Golf Club in Westchester in a recent speech. “Gore wants us to clean up our factories and plants in order to protect us from global warming, when China and other countries couldn’t care less. It would make us totally noncompetitive in the manufacturing world, and China, Japan and India are laughing at America’s stupidity.” The crowd of 500 stood up and cheered.

Next time you’re out in Hollywood, Donald, maybe you could suggest that Gore return his Oscar, too.

Source: New York Post

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You’d have made a small fortune if you’d been at the thoroughbred horse races in the lovely little town of Naracoorte, South Australia the other day. Because you would have mortgaged your house to get enough money to bet on one horse in the second race.

A long-shot filly named GlobalWarmnSceptic won the first race of her hopefully long and fruitful career by six lengths. She paid 7-1/2 to one.

The only way it could have been better is if the second place horse had been named Algore.

Go, Sceptic, go.

Source: Tim Blair

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What happens when you cross a big pile of global warming horse hooey with The Who and toss in a band of crazy Minnesotans?

You get this hilarious parody called Frozen Wasteland from Minnesotans For Global Warming.

Source: Minnesotans For Global Warming

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Who in their right mind could still argue with that assessment? Don’t you wish an American politician other than James Inhofe (R-OK) had the guts to get up and say it like Godfrey Bloom does here?

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So many freezing ass, record cold and record snow stories we can’t cover them all.

While you read some of the headlines from around the world and laugh at Al Gore and ClimateGate, listen to Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Jordan with their rendition of the new global warming theme song.

Snowstorm squelches climate change protest
Source: Salt Lake Tribune

French Constitutional Court Rejects Carbon Tax
Source: Reuters

No Rise of Atmospheric Carbon Dioxide Fraction in Past 160 Years, New Research Finds
Source: ScienceDaily.com

Cold weather kills scores in India
Source: IOL

Once in a generation cold snap forecast for NC
Source: WNCT.com

U.S. East Coast Faces Deep Freeze; Florida Oranges Threatened
Source: Bloomberg

Heavy snow brings Beijing to standstill
Source: Reuters

Let’s take a break from the headlines to take a look at a chill map of the United States. Good luck to all of you who don’t live in California.

And now, back to the headlines:

Britain facing one of the coldest winters in 100 years, experts predict
Source: Telegraph UK

Winter Could Be Worst in 25 Years for USA
Source: Accuweather.com

GAS SUPPLIES RUNNING OUT AS BRITAIN SHIVERS
Source: Express UK

Vermont sets ‘all-time record for one snowstorm’
Source: NECN.com

Iowa temps ‘a solid 30 degrees below normal’
Source: Des Moines Register

Seoul buried in heaviest snowfall in 70 years
Source: Associated Press

Historic ice build-up shuts down NJ nuclear power plant
Source: CBS3.com

Beijing — coldest in 40 years
Source: The Age

Miami shivers from coldest weather in decade
Source: Breitbart.com

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