This is how advertising copywriters get fired

June 17, 2009, 5:48 pm · 2 comments

Prick with fork sausage ad

What they meant to say was, “Puncture wrapper before microwaving.”

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OLDER: A tale of two presidents: Reagan inspired the people of Poland, Obama sells out the people of Iran
NEWER: Barbara Boxer is a Senator, damn it, and don’t you forget it

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- Two Republicans, four giant balls (2)
  - Catherine: I can only conclude that Tom Coburn (R-OK) could not rest until the country and indeed the world knew what spiteful, vindictive, mean-spirited little man he is. The U.S. is the only industrialized nation in the world that has not established some form of national health insurance,...
  - juandos: Hmmm, if the damned Republicans had acted like fools between 2002 and 2006 (even though they were warned many, many times) we wouldn’t be dealing with a communist in the White House and progressive fools in both Houses of Congress…
- Godfather of Soul’s body is missing (2)
  - Axel: HOLY CRAP, ZOMBIE! damn necrophiliacs
  - matthew s harrison: do you think James knew that when he chose that name for his daughter that it meant “the rhonda”?
- Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone die at age 85 (2)
  - John: That was a good story and not unlike mine of him.My Dad was a Squadron Ex.Officer at George AFB Ca. in the mid 60’s when Paul Burke from the show 12 O’Clock High wanted a publicity flight in a modern Fighter Jet. My Dad gave him that flight in a 2 seat trainer version of a...
  - Pat from Michigan: Fess Parker, the guy who made all kids of my day believe they could whip their weight in bears
- How is the census bureau pounding money down a rat hole? Let us count the ways. (6)
  - Dee Mac: Oops, I was supposed to read all that crap? Gee, I read the Constitution and it just said they get to count the people every ten years. My bad.
  - Dave: After looking at my form I am convinced the purpose of the census is to determine how many Hispanics are in the US.
  - Sophs: I responded to all race and origin questions as unhyphenated American or American.
- Say what? President says ObamaCare will cover natural disasters like the recent Hawaiian earthquake. (5)
  - redabogado: You fools! Don’t you know that the US has more than 50 states? How easily you forget the truth The Anointed One told us during the campaign. He meant the earthquake that occurred in one of those 50 Plus states.
  - tracy: Obama is a fricken idiot , but i guess you dont have to be smart when someone is pulling your strings . This goes to show you this clown knows nothing about this country , earthquake in hawaii , theres 57 states , wont hold hand over heart during national anthem . It was said that ”...
  - Ray: Hawaii! It ain’t wacky tabacky, he’s doing. More like LSD.
- Cramer calls Obama administration “amateur hour at our darkest moment” (5)
  - danybhoy: KQ, The fools in the health care debate are the ones who believe 1 of 2 things… 1. They will get free/cheap health care on demand. 2 They think they have an escape hatch from Obama-care. …what will happen, a black market health care system. Much of it will be cash based....
- Now Obama has even lost Howard Stern: “The Democrats are communists” (17)
  - Lee Tracy: I have liked/hated Howard over the years . Now ,he finally gets it! Thank you Mr. Stern !
  - tracy: Partys over ! even the liberial favorites have awoke and fianally have realized that Obama is selling them and this country down the river ! They and all the hollywood elites are going to pay for my health care , deserves them right , they make too much money anyway ! They are going to...
  - JPT: Just fine Antonio. Anytime the issue comes up for a PUBLIC VOTE it gets defeated. Only when ‘advocate̵ 7; judges, appointed but unelected of course (in most cases) make the laws (not their role as the Judaical Branch of Government) or where there is not public ballot election...
- Democrats want Obama to delay trip, Indonesians want him to cancel it (4)
  - tracy: The whole world is waking up, to realize that this clown is a pathological lier and you cant trust him as far as you can throw him ! He will throw anyone under the bus especially this country and the people in it ! The countries of this world now understand that if the United States falls...
  - matthew s harrison: He pushed back the trip because he knows even his own countrymen hate him. he is terrified of going there. He should be more terrified of being here if he ramrods the HR bill through, because he will be run out of town on a rail, right back to kenya, because it is apparent...
- Michelle Obama has a hangover (11)
  - tracy: I wonder if Michelle is going to lipo that rhino rump she has with the 1 million dollars from the noble peace prize , Obama’ s not supposed to keep ! (sorry most people have forgot about that ! especilly the liberial media ) I think she has a rump that even Oprah would be proud of .
  - JPT: Hey, Laura Bush was not my pin up fantasy by any means. That said I am not digging Michelle the Belle and having to see her everywhere. Zoe Saldana or Halle Berry or Ildi Silva… Yes! Show more! Ms Socialist in Chief? Not, not so much, not really, NO! Unlike John Mayer, I love me some...
  - This is my new name: jesus, does anybody else notice her terrifying elbows? and why are there so many wrinkles in her smile? and wtf is up with her hairline?!
- Jack Cafferty hates reconciliation, calls Pelosi “beyond sleazy” (6)
  - tracy: Jack Cafferty is a good man who stands up for the constitution , integraty , morals and wont be bought off ! Beck wouldnt make a pimple on Caffertys rump ! Benedict Arnold Beck should be ashamed of himself !
- Michael Moore learns an ugly lesson: the media ignores you when you badmouth liberals (5)
  - glasnost: Well Done! I Like it!
- Lindsey Graham thinks Democrats are drinking more than just the Kool-Aid (1)
  - jasonwedge: Graham can suck my NUTS….they will pass you idea for immigration reform the same way….but you won’t say a damn thing…go away you BUM!
- Hypocrisy x bias = New York Times (1)
  - Chuck: R.I.Pieces NYT
- Pot calls kettle black: Chris Matthews criticizes Bret Baier for interrupting the President (2)
  - John: Couldn’t watch those three idiot ass kissers for the whole video. matthews edits to his advantage then the three morons cluck and chuckle in thier smug liberal fashion, just couldn’t watch more than 45 sec.
  - tim: Chris Matthews and your one sided panel, Are you kidding me, you put together the funniest editing of those clips to show fox as the bad guys. Yet, if you watch the WHOLE interview, I would have to say that it was the president who was rude. When you come to an interview you come to answer...
- Saturday Night Live takes the Prius out for a spin (2)
  - Dee Mac: I have a new workout routine called the Prius – Treadmill begins at a moderate pace, and then there is sudden acceleration for a couple of minutes, dial 911, and return to a moderate pace. Repeat. Works pretty well except for the bashing my nose on the control panel now and then.
  - JPT: That was funny… Odd synchronicity: One of the girls I am seeing does have a Prius. Ever try to have a make out sesh in one of those? Not working out too well, I can assure you of that. Add that to the list of many, many problems that hybrids have. Hybrids suck. I drive an Avalon (also...
- Great news: British kids are even dumber than American kids (8)
  - JPT: Screw you Andrew! Our President gave your PM a set of DVDs (a cheap set at that) which was not even playable on UK DVD units due to Region Lock Encoding. That is how smart we are! Actually that is how dumb Obama is… And the BACKLASH (Tea Party Actions and general overall disapproval...
  - This is my new name: its like you just think of the stupidest think you could possibly say for each entry and then say it. you are either a master troll, or a typical left winger
- Not funny: U.S. official forced to apologize for joking about laughable Gadhafi (7)
  - JPT: Nice picture! Man, Bono looks like sh*t these days…
  - John: Couldn’t a said it better, This is my new name! You have a way with words.
  - This is my new name: This just in: A regular commenter on the site “ihatethemedia .com” has announced that gadhafi is a silly face poo nose idiot shit brain, and he will stab him in the face and i will
- Calvin Klein produces the most offensive commercial of the year (14)
  - JPT: Not to get weird… My pants never need to be protected from me ass in any way. Showering, general hygiene, wiping clean after doing the number two business, continence etc all unite to keep my pants unsoiled and in nice, fresh shape. I don’t ware socks either if case you want to...
  - This is my new name: what the **** is this ******* ****? is this **** airing on mother ******* television? who wants to see my ****?
- Huffington Post clears up the confusion about “deem and pass” (9)
  - JPT: So when Bicameralism is out of style (as the Hard Left sees it to be. Only because it does not favor the action they want to take) they ‘deem’ it to be okay to byPASS that just process. I ‘deem’ the Dems to be a flock of selfish and spiteful fools with a wicked...
- The Awareness Test: A great public service announcement (8)
  - This is my new name: damn bear interrupted my counting i was like “gtfo of here, bear!” and then he started dancing, so it was all okay, i guess
- Weird Headline of the Week: “Gay Catholic Ex-Stripper Awaits Birth of Twins Carried by Husband’s Sister” (3)
  - This is my new name: i must be missing something, cause nothing here makes any damn sense
- Cindy Sheehan may be imbalanced, but she is fair and imbalanced (3)
  - This is my new name: friggin crazy bitch, dont be sympathetic towards her her son chose his job, and knew the risk, she, nor anyone else had to power to stop his free will. by doing this, she is only dishonoring his sacrifice
- What’s the male equivalent of bitch? And how do you say it in Spanish? (10)
  - This is my new name: “that show only furthers the stereotype that george lopez is funny” -chris griffin
- Bad news for Democrats: Republican congressman thinks they should be covered by ObamaCare, too (8)
  - JPT: There are still some sensible voices still in Government. Most of them are speaking out AGAINST the nonsense of Big Government, the sick circus it has turned into, and are standing against theses Psycho Runaway Hard Left Democrats. http://www.youtube.c om/watch?v=G44NCvNDL fc Better then...
  - Rodney: It’s difficult to understand what Jim means by “the 8 years that [Republicans] controlled everything” since they only really controlled “everything 221; for around 6 years during the Clinton administration; but to answer his question “Where were...
- CNBC’s Jim Cramer afraid ObamaCare will drive federal tax rates to 50-60% (6)
  - JPT: Obama just wants TO CONTROL YOU LIFE! This is not some “right wing conspiracy” by any means. It is a QUOTE from the man himself. His stated purpose in plain English. http://www.youtube.c om/watch?v=ir9n2sCx5 3o Stealing away more and more of people’s income and pissing it...
- Valerie Jarrett praises Obama because he’s “womanly” (4)
  - Kevin: Just a head’s up, I’m an Andrewphobe.
- Biden accidentally kills Irish Prime Minister’s mother (2)
  - Ray: Sounded like he’d already been celebrating for awhile.
  - Dick Wazinya: If you take a Canadian on a date, you can write the expense off on your taxes… Forgive the Canadians, for they do not understand what they do. They do enjoy a good belch, Eskimo-racism, and American bashing. Canadians do not possess the intellect required to own and operate a...
- Democrat dog pile: Even Chris Matthews attacks the Slaughter Strategy (3)
  - Pat from Michigan: Awaiting Andrew’s inevitable comment that Matthews is really a right winger.
  - trinity: Tweety may be a raving liberal loon, but he does have one thing right…it will cost the Dems dearly.
- Snow, blizzards, ice. Damn that global warming. (23)
  - oldwolves: Now let me understand you jack. A tar laden runway with a parking lot on the other side. This has no affect on the station? Think of it like this. Try laying down on tar or concrete in the middle of the day with your shirt off. Notice that horrible burning on your back? Now lay down in...
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