Category: Books

comments on books, book reviews,

It’s ObamaMan, strange visitor from another planet

obama_vs_osama1Obama worship has officially entered the realm of the bizarre.

Now the cover of a comic book called Savage Dragon features an illustration of Obama punching out Osama. (We assume that’s Savage Dragon in the background).

Wikipedia.com says, “The Dragon is a large, finned, green-skinned humanoid whose powers include super-strength and an advanced healing factor. He is also an amnesiac: his earliest memory is awakening in a burning field in Chicago, Illinois. Thus, for most of the series, the origins of his powers and appearance are a mystery to readers. At the beginning of the series, he becomes a police officer and battles the mutant criminal “superfreaks” that terrorize Chicago.”

Superfreaks who terrorize Chicago? Cool. They’re probably named Blagoman, RezkoMan and ACORNMan.

You can own one of these special edition Obama vs Osama comics for yourself. There’s one for sale on eBay/Italy right now.

Exclusive
Bill O’Reilly’s sleazy sex video, co-starring Keith Olbermann


You’ve probably heard the audio version of Bill O’Reilly’s sex tapes – the ones he recorded for the audiobook version of his novel “Those Who Trespass.”

But now we have exclusive video that shows exactly what went on during the recording session. You’ll see things you never thought you’d see. Unimaginable things. Things you’ll hope never to see again.

The Bill O’Reilly sex tapes on video. Another IHateTheMedia.com exclusive.

Al Gore flunks physics at UC Berkeley

al goreAccording to the latest issue of Forbes, Professor Richard Muller tools around uber liberal Berkeley in a Toyota Pirus.

Nothing out of place here, right? Wrong.

“It doesn’t save me money,” he explains. “It doesn’t help slow global warming. I just love the technology.” Muller, named a MacArthur genius in 1982, goes even further. He scoffs at the greens’ favorite energy theories and says people like Al Gore and Thomas Friedman are exaggerators of global warming, pure and simple.

Here at IHateTheMedia.com we wonder just what former future President Gore must think when he hears such blasphemy coming from an august professor.

The answer, obviously, is that Gore doesn’t think much (that sentence has two meanings and both of them are true).

Gore lives in a world of massive denial. To him, Professor Muller is just a dumb blond, Bill Clinton really didn’t have sex with that woman, and when Credence Clearwater sings ”Fortunate Son” the lyrics really say “I am a senator’s son.”

Source: Forbes

Michelle Obama to star in comic book. Seriously.

Michelle Obama comic book
Michelle Obama fights for truth, justice and the socialist way.

File this in the Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction category. Last week we did a story about the odd intersection of Michelle Obama and Wonder Woman. This week the First Lady is getting her own comic book.

The Obama comic is due to hits the stands in April. It will follow her path from her childhood in South Side Chicago to her days at Princeton to her current lofty status as Mrs. Most Powerful Man in the World.

“I feel like the guy who invented the Furby,” publisher Darren Davis noted. “The reaction has been insane.”



We’ve read a lot of comics in our time and we’d like to offer Davis some free advice:

If you really want to make this thing work, give Michelle a super sidekick. Maybe his name could be Socialist Boy and his super power could be the ability to print and spend unlimited amounts of money. Michelle and Socialist Boy can join forces to battle their arch enemy, Free Market Man.

That would be gold. Pure comic book gold.


Source: Chicago Tribune

It’s our first weekend caption contest

<b>Click for full image</b>
Click for full image

Want to win an IHateTheMedia.com T-shirt or coffee mug? Just submit the funniest caption of the weekend (as a comment). Only one entry per person. We’ll pick the winner and send you the T-shirt or mug of your choice. Have fun. Be creative. Make us laugh.

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WINNER: Continue reading “It’s our first weekend caption contest”

Deepak Chopra calls Limbaugh “an icon of anti-morality”

deepak chopra spaceThe bad news is that newspapers are dying and comic strips are fading into history. The good news is that the Huffington Post is guaranteed to make you laugh every day.

For example, here’s how New Age guru Deepak Chopra opened his article about Rush Limbaugh yesterday.

“When Michael Steele, the hapless chairman of the Republican Party, lost his bearings and called Rush Limbaugh’s style ugly and incendiary, everyone knew it was the truth,” the subcontinental sahib said. “But it was a perfect example of an inconvenient truth. The right wing has long used ugly, incendiary speech the way baseball players use steroids: to artificially pump themselves up. Limbaugh has taken to saying that he wants Obama’s policies to fail because they spell the end of an America based on personal freedom. This isn’t just a grotesque exaggeration; it disguises the very thing the right wing has been doing when it curtailed civil liberties in the name of national security.”

Calm down. Take a deep breath. The left wing loonies always say things like this. Problem is, they can’t come up with a single example of “curtailed civil liberties” that supposedly occurred during the Bush years.

Now, let’s move on to Chopra. As your grandmother always used to say, just consider the source. This guy’s made a fortune by writing fifty books about New Age nonsense.

Hey, maybe that could be the name of his next book.

“New Age Nonsense from best-selling author Deepak Chopra. Coming soon to a Barnes & Noble near you. Don’t miss this insightful exploration of mind, body, and how to pick a reader’s pocket for $21.95.”

Hey, Deepak! Don’t forget to mention us in the forward.

Source: Huffington Post

Second PR agent quits octomon, calls her “nuts”

Nadya Suleman is nuts? In the words of Gomer Pyle, "Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!"
Nadya Suleman is nuts? In the words of Gomer Pyle, "Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!"

Another publicist has walked out on Nadya Suleman, the infamous octomom. In the words of Gomer Pyle, “Surprise, surprise, surprise.”

According to Us Weekly, PR maven Victor Munoz is the latest one to take a hike. “It just got to be too much,” Munoz said. “It’s pretty much a free for all over there right now. They are freaking out right now.

“Nadya got real greedy,” Munoz added. “This woman is nuts.”

Far be it from us to question Munoz’ judgment, but we’re wondering what ever made him think Suleman wasn’t nuts.

Was it the octuplets? Or her first six kids? Or the whole kit and kaboodle of fourteen kids with no father? Or the initial story that the father was in Iraq? Or the hundreds of threatening emails sent to the first PR agent?

There’s a giant red neon sign figuratively flashing over this woman’s head:

“Nuts…nuts…nuts…”

Source: Us Weekly

An IHTM Editorial:
Debunked: Porn in the USA, Conservatives are biggest consumers

porn-pixelated-left


Hating the media is our reason for living. And we think intentionally misleading news stories are almost as pornographic as pornography. Like the one ABC News ran the other night.

At IHateTheMedia.com, we admit right up front that what we do is commentary. On a good day, mildly amusing commentary. We would never call ourselves a news organization, and after this so-called news report, maybe ABC News shouldn’t either. “Porn in the USA: Conservatives Are Biggest Consumers,” ABC’s report, said “Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious.”

The background

According to a study (view PDF) conducted by Benjamin Edelman of the Harvard Business School, there’s very little difference between porn consumption in red states and blue states. In fact, Edelman concludes that “When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different…The differences here are not so stark.”

Unfortunately, ABC started its report by stating a starkly contrary conclusion, then went off on a circuitous safari in search of data to support it. In reality, there’s absolutely nothing in the study to support ABC’s flimsy conclusion that conservatives consume more porn than liberals, because there’s nothing in the study that asked the respondents if they were conservative or liberal. Nothing.

But above and beyond ABC’s outrageous claims, we believe the study itself has serious problems. Continue reading “An IHTM Editorial:
Debunked: Porn in the USA, Conservatives are biggest consumers”

Fox News producer busted for child porn, in porn himself

bruns-sutraWhat the hell? You all remember the story Fox News Producer Aaron Bruns arrested on child porn charges, right. We don’t know how we missed it this week, but on Monday the Kenneth in the (212) blog uncovered (NSFW)–so to speak–that Aaron Bruns had a starring role in the soft-porn instructional book entitled The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra Illustrated.

We’re not going to show the NSFW photos here. But, we did clean up one photo that shows you an interesting Kama Sutra move with a stick. We know it’s Saturday, but being the curious guys and gals we are, we called in the IHTM staff this morning to try that one out, but only ended up hurt ourselves. Guess our moms were right about poking our eyes out. I suppose we’ll need to buy the book for instructions.

bruns_censoredFor those of you pervs out there that really want to see the most revealing photos you can follow one of the links at Kenneth in the (212)’s blog. We’re not putting that link or those photos here. But guys, be forewarned, these are, uh, more the type of photos that a female would prefer to see, if you know what we mean.

And one final note. Those of you gloating liberals we have heard from who laughed that Aaron Bruns was a Fox News employee should take note that it is reported that he is a liberal. Not that we care, a child porn guy is a child porn guy. But some people seem too care.

Time Magazine tells newspapers how to survive, ignores its own problems

time_cover_save_newspaperThere was a frequently-recurring scene in old TV show “Kung Fu” where Master Po would dispense the mystical wisdom of the ages to “Young Grasshopper.”

That may have been the inspiration for the article “How to Save Your Newspaper” in the current issue of Time in which the magazine graciously advises the newspaper industry how to get its head out of its collective butt.

We consider it almost zen-like that Time is able to solve problems for others from which they themselves suffer. Kind of like Master Po and Little Grasshopper.

You see, Time’s circulation hovered around the 4.0 million mark for the last decade, but precipitously plunged to just 3.4 million in 2007. As of June, 2008 the magazine’s base circulation sits at just 3,250,000. They’ve also discontinued publication of its 60-year old Canadian edition.

We’d like to dispense a little zen-like advice to Time. But we’re a little busy here with our in-depth analysis of international events.

Salman Rushdie issues fatwah against Slumdog Millionaire

salman-rushdieOne would think a novelist would understand the concept of “creative license.” But not Salman Rushdie. He’s offended that Slumdog Millionaire contains scenes that (gasp) aren’t realistic.

The Indian-born author recently told an audience at Atlanta’s Emory University that the Academy Award-winning film “piles impossibility on impossibility.”

Rushdie, who gained more fame for hiding than he ever did for writing, spent years cowering in a closet after Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini issued a fatwah against him in 1989.

The author of “The Satanic Verses” was in a tizzy that the “Slumdog Millionaire” scene at the Taj Mahal is, in reality, more than 1,000 miles from where the previous scene took place.

Why stop there, Salman? How about the fact that “The Wrestler” showed Mickey Rourke with an attractive woman, “Benjamin Button” aged in reverse, and “Milk” depicted Sean Penn as rational.

Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Obama press secretary misses mood of country, disses Rick Santelli

The Obama administration has been hiring journalists left and right. But Rick Santelli probably shouldn’t bother sending over his resume.

At a White House press conference today, Obama press secretary Robert Gibbs was asked for the president’s reaction to Santelli’s outburst on the floor of the Chicago commodities exchange yesterday. Two things stood out about his answer.

First he said everyone at the White House got a good laugh out of it.

Then he concluded his longer remarks by saying, “I’m sure Mr. Santelli doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Every time Obama announces more of his “stimulus” program, the stock market plunges anew, announcing rather clearly that Wall Street thinks it’s Mr. Obama who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

UPDATE (4:15PM PST): Continue reading “Obama press secretary misses mood of country, disses Rick Santelli”

Kids think Obama was born on Krypton and wears a red cape

dear_mr_presidentWe hate the media. Especially when it manipulates kids for political purposes. Like in “Dear Mr. President,” a new e-book chock full of kids’ over-the-top hopes and dreams for President Obama.

But we did like the request from seven-year-old Aaron Van Blerkom of Pasadena, California. “Dear Mr. Obama,” the first grader said, “Please make it rain candy!”

Why did we like it? Because the abilities young Aaron attributes to Obama are not unlike the superhuman abilities his adult supporters seem to believe he possesses.

Naturally, this “Dear Mr. President” deification was produced by the National Education Association and kidthing.com, which also produces a media player for the e-book.

But just to hedge our bets, Mr. President, could you please make IHateTheMedia.com the most powerful, influential website in the universe?

Alexandra Pelosi: Documentarian. Author. Media critic?

alexandra_pelosiAlexandra Pelosi, daughter of the overly-Botoxed Speaker of the House, now makes documentaries. Her latest work, “Right America: Feeling Wronged,” premiers Monday on HBO.

Pelosi labels herself as a fierce media critic. Once, while speaking to a group of journalism students at NYU, she said the media is “the biggest problem that we have in America right now.” She even wrote a book called, “Sneaking into the Flying Circus: How the Media Turn Our Presidential Campaigns into Freak Shows.” It covers such fertile ground as the media’s “dysfunctional relationship” with candidates.

Let’s make a deal. We’ll read Alexandra Pelosi’s book as soon as her mother reads the economic “stimulus” plan she just passed.

What we haven’t read will cost you $15 on Amazon.com right now. What Pelosi hasn’t read will cost us $1,000,000,000,000. If we’re lucky.

“The Grammys” may change name to “The Barackies”

grammy_awardThe 51st Annual Grammy Awards celebrated great singers, great musicians and, of course, Obama the Great.

First, the President received two Grammys for reading his own audio books. Then, Neil Portnow, president of the Grammys, declared his love for Obama by chanting “Yes we can!” and urging him to create a cabinet level Culture Commissar.

“Our finest national treasure is our culture and the arts,” Portnow said, “It’s time that we acknowledge that fact with the creation of a cabinet position of secretary of the arts to promote and develop this vital contribution to society everywhere.”

Bill Clinton immediately applied for the position. “That Pink chick is kind of hot in a scary kind of way,” he said, “Think she’d like to date the Culture Commissar?”

Terrorist Bill Ayers life to become “graphic novel”

Terrorist Bill Ayers standing on the American flag
Terrorist Bill Ayers shows his hatred for the country by standing on the American flag

A trade publisher that specializes in the theory and practice of teacher education has reached agreement on a “book” deal with Bill Ayers.

Teachers College Press refers to Ayers as “the University of Illinois at Chicago professor, lauded educational theorist and former leader of the radical 1960s Weather Underground.” They neglect to mention “unrepentant terrorist who regrets that he didn’t do more bombing and killing.”

The graphic novel will be called “To Teach: The Graphic Memoir” with art by Xeric Award-winner Ryan Alexander-Tanner.

If you’re not familiar with the term “graphic novel,” let us explain. It’s a freakin’ comic book. They’re publishing this terrorist’s memoirs as a comic book.

We recommend they buy some extra red ink to illustrate all the blood for which this guy’s responsible.

Global warming drives people insane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnze-_4_DpgA horribly depressed 17-year old Aussie boy was admitted last year to the psychiatric until at Melbourne’s Royal Children’s Hospital.

So worried about global warming was the young man that he refused to drink water. Australian doctors termed the condition “climate change delusion.”

“Climate change could have a real impact on our psyches,” says Paul Epstein, associate director of Harvard Medical School’s Center for Health and the Global Environment.

Experts at the IHateTheMedia.com School of Medicine have dubbed the condition Gore Syndrome. Common symptoms include delusions of grandeur, rapid weight gain, and shriveling of the portion of the brain that controls logic.

That Obama’s one bad muthah%$#*&

obama_brother_potIn Dreams From My Father, Barack Obama’s autobiography, he talks about a high school buddy named Ray.

Turns out Ray used, shall we say, colorful language. In the audiobook edition, our Commander In Chief quotes Ray. Verbatim. With words we haven’t heard since Richard Nixon’s Watergate tapes.

Excerpts from the book are making the rounds of the internet. And it’s funnier than #*$%& to hear Obama saying them out of context.

Have a listen. But be warned. They are Malcolm X-rated.

Play: That guy
G-Rated Translation: “That chap is nothing special. He’s unimportant.”

Play: Too complicated
G-Rated Translation: “I’m confused by the complexity of the situation.”

Play: White folks
G-Rated Translation: “Some caucasians are uneducated.”

Play: You ain’t
G-Rated Translation: “Let’s go Dutch treat.”

Play: My number
G-Rated Translation: “Let’s meet up at the malt shop after school.”

Play: Chicks
G-Rated Translation: “Golly, I think those young ladies may like us.”

Fellow media haters, we don’t ask for much, but could ya click on the Digg icon for this one so we can get it passed around the net? It’s just too funny to let others miss!

Andrea Mitchell feels Tom Daschle’s pain

UPDATE: Our apologies. Turns out this is actually a photo of Al Capone, a completely different tax cheat.
UPDATE: Our apologies. Turns out this is actually a photo of Al Capone, a completely different tax cheat.

Andrea Mitchell feels badly for tax-dodgin’ Tom Daschle. She really does.

“I just got off the phone with Tom Daschle,” she said sympathetically on MSNBC. “And it was an emotional conversation…it sounded as though he were tearful, overwrought.”

When Republican Senator Jim DeMint contended that Democrat support for Daschle’s nomination had wavered, Mitchell was clearly upset. “You can say that the Democrats were uncomfortable as well,” Mitchell lectured, “but they were all supporting him publicly.”

“So this does read to the public as though the Republicans went after this man,” she wondered aloud, “someone that the President very much wanted, and brought him down.”

Like opposing the confirmation of a felonious tax cheat is a bad thing?

Homoerotic, Obama-erotic slobbering

photo by MACSURAK on Flickr
photo by MACSURAK on Flickr

Bernard Goldberg’s new book is titled “A Slobbering Love Affair: The True (And Pathetic) Story of the Torrid Romance Between Barack Obama and the Mainstream Media.”

The wackiest quote about Obama? Eli Saslow’s page one story on Christmas morning in The Washington Post:

“The sun glinted off chiseled pectorals sculpted during four weight-lifting sessions each week and a body toned by regular treadmill runs and basketball games.”

We’ll be back a little later. Our computer is overheating.

Fewer radio listeners mean fewer radios

thanks to Boston Public Library
thanks to Boston Public Library

There are no rocket scientists nor brain surgeons on-staff at IHateTheMedia.com. Not a one. Yet even we are able to figure out that fewer radio listeners lead directly to fewer radios being manufactured.

In a depressing display of headline juxtaposition, On the high-end radio manufacturer Bose laid off 1,000 employees on the same day that radio conglomerate Clear Channel slashed 1,500 employees.

There are also no historians on-staff at IHateTheMedia.com, but we’re pretty sure that buggy whip manufacturers cut production about the same time people stopped riding horses.

But we could be wrong.

Is that Obama in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

little red bookJust what you’ve been waiting for — the collected wisdom of our new leader contained in one pocket-sized book called “Pocket Obama.” Sure, it’s vaguely reminiscent of Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book, but hell, man, this is Obama we’re talking about here.

According to the publishers, “Pocket Obama serves as a reminder of the amazing power of oratory and the remarkable ability of this man to move people with his words.”

They also say, “It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times.”

Brilliant! Why didn’t we think of that? We know a good idea when we steal it.

IHateTheMedia.com. It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to click on it every day. Illegal aliens, too.

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