Obama channels Pope Urban VIII, threatens scientists who stray from global warming religion

Pope Urban VIII threatened to excommunicate Galileo because he insisted that the sun was the center of the universe.

Now, a mere 377 years later, Pope Barack is equally adamant that scientists should blindly follow his global warming religion.

obama In 1632, Pope Urban VIII threatened to excommunicate Galileo because he insisted that the sun was the center of the universe.

Now, a mere 377 years later, Pope Barack is equally adamant that scientists should blindly follow his global warming religion.

Last month, President Obama gave a somewhat chilling, if somewhat ignored, speech on climate change at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He stated that any scientific debate about the magnitude of global warming is unscrupulous, decrying “those who . . . make cynical claims that contradict the overwhelming scientific evidence when it comes to climate change, whose only purpose is to defeat or delay the change that we know is necessary.”

Then, the president talked tough, saying, “We’ll just have to deal with those people,” language familiar to anyone who knows the vagaries of Chicago politics.

Father, Son and Holy Ghost have been replaced by Barack Obama, Cap-and-Trade.

Get on your knees and pray.

Source: National Review

Tension at the Washington Post: Reporters punch each other out

Details are sparse, but it’s been confirmed that fists flew in the Washington Post’s newsroom.

Fists are flying at the Washington Post, mostly lefts
Fists are flying at the Washington Post, mostly lefts

Details are sparse, but it’s been confirmed that fists flew in the Washington Post’s newsroom. FishbowlDC reports the details of this ultimate hostile work environment:

Fishbowl spoke with the paper’s HR Monday morning “and confirmed that both reporters are still employed at the paper.”

Washington Post’s Director of Communications Kris Coratti: “I can’t discuss private personnel matters but that doesn’t mean we haven’t taken this incident seriously and addressed it appropriately.”

Apparently, Roig-Franzia elicited the reaction by saying, “Henry, don’t be such a c***sucker.” Executive editor Marcus Brauchli “was then forced to intervene.”

The lesson to be learned from this?

Never tell a reporter not to be a c***sucker. It’s their basic nature.

Source: FishbowlDC via Politico.com

Understatement of the day, week, month, year, decade, hell, maybe the millenium

What do you expect when the headline to the story is, “South Carolina man gets 3 years in prison for sex with horse.”

“There’s a lot of ridicule and jokes going around about this thing,” said Barbara Kenley, the owner of the horse.

C’mon, Barbara, what do you expect when the headline to the story is, “South Carolina man gets 3 years in prison for sex with horse.”

We’ll start this off with a few punch lines. Feel free to add your own in the comments section.

Punch line #1: “Well, he always said he was a stud.”

Punch line #2: “Horry County? It happened in Horry County?”

Punch line #3: “The horse is in stable condition.”

Punch line #4: “You need to learn to listen. What I said was, ‘If you need sex that badly, find yourself some whores.'”

Punch line #5: This gives a whole new meaning to the term “jockeying for position.”

Punch line #6: That’s not what I meant, the riding instructor insisted, when I said, “Mount your horse.”

Your turn.

NOTE: The video clip has absolutely nothing to do with this story. But, it involves a man and a horse and makes us laugh.

Source: Associated Press

GM (Government Motors) introduces the stylish new 2010 ObamaMobile

The 2010 ObamaMobile car gets an EPA-estimated 1000 miles per gallon because it runs on nothing but hot air and broken promises.

2010 ObamaMobile

Welcome to the future of American automotive excellence, brought to you by Government Motors (formerly General Motors).

The 2010 ObamaMobile car gets an EPA-estimated 1000 miles per gallon because it runs on nothing but hot air and broken promises.

It has three wheels that help the vehicle navigate repeated turns to the left. It comes complete with two TelePrompters programmed to help its driver talk his way out of any violations.

The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the happy Obamabot owners. And it comes in your choice of S, M, L, XL and 2XL.

It won’t get you to work, but what the hell, there aren’t any jobs anyway.

And coming soon from GM, the all new 2010 Van Jones Van.

Source: LeoGibbons.com

Saturday morning request

We’ve (finally) started a Facebook page. We invite you to please click through to it become a fan. There not much there yet, while we’re building it up. Facebook experts please let us know what you think we should do with it.

We’ve (finally) started a Facebook page. We invite you to please click the logo in the right sidebar of this page to become a fan. There not much there yet, while we’re building it up. Facebook experts please let us know what you think we should do with it.

Protesters get thrill on Hill with “house call”
to “Kill Bill”

Check your favorite stations, websites or newspaper (if anybody still reads them) to see how or even if they cover Thursday’s “House Call” tea party-style health care protest at the U.S. Capitol.

house-call-crowd

Check your favorite stations, websites or newspaper (if anybody still reads them) to see how or even if they cover Thursday’s “House Call” tea party-style health care protest at the U.S. Capitol.

bachmann-kill-billWe’re not sure if this qualifies as “news that’s fit to print” for the New York Times, but it’s bound to be on Fox.

According to Politico, at least 10,000 tea partiers showed up to protest government takeover of health care.

With the House of Representatives rapidly approaching a vote on the Democrats’ 2,000-page monstrosity, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN) attempted to slow the impending train wreck by enlisting help from constituents. Inspired by the tea party protests, Bachmann instigated a “House Call” to have taxpayers visit their Representatives. Guest speakers included Actor Jon Voight (he’s great and all, but why another actor?) and radio host Mark Levin.

We’re not holding out much hope for news coverage on this story. But if it does get any attention from the media, it’ll mean they found some kook with an Obama-as-Hitler poster. Or they found something racist. Or, conceivably, they just flat-out made up something racist to cast the protesters in the worst possible light.

Take your choice.

Source: Bachman.house.gov

Chris “I Can Dish It, But I Can’t Take It” Matthews

Poor Chris Matthews. He was distraught on election night. Not to mention churlish, argumentative and depressed. Didn’t it seem for a moment there that he was going to burst out in tears?

Poor Chris Matthews. He was distraught on election night. Not to mention churlish, argumentative and depressed. Didn’t it seem for a moment there that he was going to burst out in tears?

– Written by Patrick Michael

Bill Clinton honored with statue for bombing the hell out of the Serbs

We think it was for bombing the hell out of the Serbs. It could just as well could have been for “accidentally” bombing the Chinese embassy in Belgrade. We’re not really sure

Statue of Bill Clinton waving at a cute Albanian chick with his left hand while holding his little black book in his right hand
Statue of Bill Clinton waving at a cute Serbian chick with his left hand while holding his little black book in his right hand

We think it was for bombing the hell out of the Serbs. It could just as well could have been for “accidentally” bombing the Chinese embassy in Belgrade. We’re not really sure.

Whatever it was he did, those wacky Albanians are erecting (you’ll pardon the choice of words) a statue in his honor for having done it.

“Thousands of ethnic Albanians braved low temperatures and a cold wind in Kosovo’s capital Pristina to welcome former President Bill Clinton on Sunday as he attended the unveiling of an 11-foot (3.5-meter) statue of himself on a key boulevard that also bears his name.

“Clinton is celebrated as a hero by Kosovo’s ethnic Albanian majority for launching NATO’s bombing campaign against Yugoslavia in 1999 that stopped the brutal Serb forces’ crackdown on independence-seeking ethnic Albanians.”

Are you reading this, President Obama? If you think you’re going to get a statue and a street named after you, your gonna have to kill a whole lot more people. Let’s step it up!

Source: Yahoo

Katie Couric interviews Al Gore, the smartest man in the world who was never president

In his sophomore year at Harvard, Gore’s grades were lower than any semester recorded on Bush’s transcript from Yale.


Rather than making any smartass remarks about this video, we’ll turn it over to the Washington Post:

“In his sophomore year at Harvard, Gore’s grades were lower than any semester recorded on Bush’s transcript from Yale. That was the year Gore’s classmates remember him spending a notable amount of time in the Dunster House basement lounge shooting pool, watching television, eating hamburgers and occasionally smoking marijuana. His grades temporarily reflected his mildly experimental mood, and alarmed his parents. He received one D, one C-minus, two C’s, two C-pluses and one B-minus, an effort that placed him in the lower fifth of the class for the second year in a row.”

In the words of Homer Simpson, “Mmmmmm. Hamburgers.”

– Written by Patrick Michael

New rallying cry at CNN: “We’re number 31! We’re number 31!”

The former number one cable news network – the people who invented the business – dropped out of the top 30 prime time cable networks during the last week of October.

Two rabid Wolf Blitzer fans watching his show on CNN
Two rabid Wolf Blitzer fans watching his show on CNN

It’s hard to imagine how far and how fast CNN has fallen on hard times.

The former number one cable news network – the people who invented the business – dropped out of the top 30 prime time cable networks during the last week of October.

As Mediaite explains it:

For the first time in more than two years, CNN fell out of the top 30 cable channels last week in prime time (total viewers). Fox News ranked 3rd, behind USA and ESPN, while MSNBC was 26th. It was the 43rd consecutive week Fox News finished in the top 5 cable channels in prime time.

In total day, FNC was #5, CNN #27 and MSNBC #31.

To rub a little salt in the wound, CNN finished fourth among cable news networks on election night.

Correction: Make that a lot of salt.

Source: Mediaite

Jon Stewart does Glenn Beck, and yeah, it was funnier than hell

If you’re expecting us to dig Jon Stewart for his impersonation of conservative hero Glenn Beck, you’ll be disappointed. LOL, ROFL, ROFLMAO, yes, we did it all watching his.

If you’re expecting us to ream Jon Stewart for his impersonation of conservative hero Glenn Beck, you’ll be disappointed. LOL, ROFL, ROFLMAO, yes, we did it all watching his hilarious segment. The fact is, it was a great impersonation, and great comedy.

We’re sorry to disappoint liberals who expect us to storm his studio in protest, but you’ll find conservatives have something you lost long ago, if you indeed ever had it: a sense of humor.

The smartest President ever. Well, at least of the last five

Kenneth T. Walsh, Chief White House correspondent for US News & World Report, met the The Greatest President History in person and thinks he’s also the Smartest President In History.

"I'll take The 57 States for a thousand, Alex."
"I'll take The 57 States for a thousand, Alex."

Kenneth T. Walsh, Chief White House correspondent for US News & World Report, met the The Greatest President History in person and thinks he’s also the Smartest President In History.

“Face to face,” Walsh says, “President Obama seems even more unflappable, cerebral, and dispassionate than he appears on television.”

Silly us. We thought things like the war with Fox News, the AP, and Edmonds.com made Obama seem a wee bit thin skinned. But Walsh tells us, “Obama’s natural instinct is to keep his feelings to himself.”

Just to be sure, we’re still talking about Barack Obama, right?

Finally, Walsh says, “I have interviewed each of the past five presidents — Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and now Obama—and Obama seems the most cerebral and the least emotional of them all.”

That may be true, Kenneth, but we’ll bet you good money that the other four could have told you how many states there are.

Source: NewsBusters.org

– Written by Patrick Michael

“Joe, Joe, I’m gonna stop the fight. She’s killin ya!”

There’s nothing funnier than Joe Biden trying to sound smart, as in this campaign speech when he challenged Sarah Palin’s energy policy by saying, “It’s a lot more complicated, Sarah, than drill, baby, drill.”

There’s nothing funnier than Joe Biden trying to sound smart, as in this campaign speech when he challenged Sarah Palin’s energy policy by saying, “It’s a lot more complicated, Sarah, than drill, baby, drill.”

For her part, Sarah Palin blasted back with:

The vice president’s extreme opposition to domestic energy development goes all the way back to 1973 when he opposed the Alaska pipeline bill.

As Ann Coulter pointed out, “Biden cast one of only five votes against the pipeline that has produced more than 15 billion barrels of oil, supplied nearly 20 percent of this nation’s oil, created tens of thousands of jobs, added hundreds of billions of dollars to the U.S. economy and reduced money transfers to the nation’s enemies by about the same amount.”

But don’t begin to think that Biden’s left this leftist nonsense in the past. This short sighted opposition to America’domestic energy development continues to this day. Apparently the Obama-Biden administration only approves of offshore drilling in Brazil, where it will provide security and jobs for Brazilians. This election is about American security and American jobs.

Ouch. Joe, you might want to put a steak on that shiner.

Source: HotAir.com

– Written by Patrick Michael

Call the CDC: British “believer” says “climate change denial is spreading like a contagious disease”

British climate fretter George Monbiot said in the Guardian UK. “Climate change denial is spreading like a contagious disease.

George Monbiot frets that people are finally waking up the the global warming scam
George Monbiot frets that people are finally waking up the the global warming scam

Please allow us to translate: “Aw, crap, the truth is getting out.”

“There is no point in denying it: we’re losing,” says British climate fretter George Monbiot said in the Guardian UK. “Climate change denial is spreading like a contagious disease. It exists in a sphere which cannot be reached by evidence or reasoned argument; any attempt to draw attention to scientific findings is greeted with furious invective. This sphere is expanding with astonishing speed.”

Consider this a crack in the damn, one of the first acknowledgements that all is not well in global warming land.

Wikipedia says Monbiot is “known for his environmental and political activism. He writes a weekly column for The Guardian, and is the author of a number of books, including Captive State: The Corporate Takeover of Britain (2000) and Bring on the Apocalypse: Six Arguments for Global Justice (2008). He is the founder of The Land is Ours campaign, which campaigns peacefully for the right of access to the countryside and its resources in the UK.”

Mr. Monbiot may want to polish up his resume, because his current job selling snake oil will soon be terminated.

Source: Monbiot.com

Chris Matthews gets a thrill up his medulla oblongata

We now have proof that Chris Matthews not only loves President Obama for his body, but for his mind. Consider the following conversation between Newsweek’s Howard Fineman and the MSNBC host

We now have proof that Chris Matthews not only loves President Obama for his body, but for his mind. Consider the following conversation between Newsweek’s Howard Fineman and the MSNBC host.

Matthews: He’s hung back at a point that’s almost driven us crazy. He has let Harry Reid carry the ball.
Fineman: Well, Chris, one of the things…
Matthews: Is that smart?
Fineman: I think it may turn out to be. I’ve been like you, all over cable TV saying, “How come he isn’t out there pounding away at this? He ought to do it like Ronald Reagan and have four points and pound!”
Matthews: Right, right.
Fineman: That’s not Barack Obama.
Matthews: I know.
Fineman: He is…one of his great qualities, whether you like him or not, is patience. And he’s playing a very patient game here.
Matthews: Howard, is he smarter? Howard, is he smarter than us?
Fineman: Of course, he is. Much smarter!

Yes, Chris Matthews undoubtedly has frequent fantasies of Barack Obama pounding. If you know what we mean.

Source: NewsBusters.org

Tonight’s final score: Hungry bear 2, idiot Muslim terrorists 0

We’re not embarrassed to admit that we didn’t know they had bears in Kashmir. We’re also not embarrassed to admit that we got a certain perverse pleasure out of this story.

How many virgins does a terrorist get in Paradise when he's killed by bear?
How many virgins does a terrorist get in Paradise when he's killed by bear?

We’re not embarrassed to admit that we didn’t know they had bears in Kashmir. We’re also not embarrassed to admit that we got a certain perverse pleasure out of this story.

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise – police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989.

The militants had made their hideout in a cave which was actually the bear’s den, said police officer Farooq Ahmed.

The Obama administration immediately realized the military implications of this story.

“We need fewer troops in Afghanistan,” President Obama said in a hurried phone call to General Stanley McCrystal, “and more bears.”

Source: BBC

Malik Nadal Hasan murders 12 soldiers at Ft Hood. Networks dancing around what his name means.

We hear that a Major Malik Nadal Hasan has murdered, execution-style, twelve soldiers at Fort Hood, Texas. Political correctness be damned. To us, the shooter doesn’t sound Baptist, doesn’t sound Catholic, doesn’t sound Jewish, doesn’t sound Hindu, doesn’t sound Buddhist. What does that leave?

We hear that a Major Malik Nadal Hasan has murdered, execution-style, twelve soldiers at Fort Hood, Texas. Political correctness be damned. To us, the shooter doesn’t sound Baptist, doesn’t sound Catholic, doesn’t sound Jewish, doesn’t sound Hindu, doesn’t sound Buddhist. What does that leave? We wonder. But, we do recall the story of the founder of the Muslim-American BridgesTV network that beheaded his wife in Buffalo, New York. His name? Muzzammil Hassan.

UPDATE: We took down the Facebook page we had up, as we don’t think that was legit. The following image, from cstsonline.org is the one most suspect is him.

nidal-hasan-csts

Who cares if Obama is Kenyan? We want to know if he’s Reptilian?

It’s a thinly-veiled commentary on the Obama administration. The bad guys are alien reptiles who bear a very strong resemblance to a certain socialist administration.

v-logo-001

Even if you aren’t a science fiction fan you should check out “V,” the new series on ABC-TV.

Why? It’s a thinly-veiled commentary on the Obama administration. The bad guys are alien reptiles who bear a very strong resemblance to a certain socialist administration.

Don’t take our word for it. Here’s an excerpt from a review in the Chicago Tribune:

Imagine this. At a time of political turmoil, a charismatic, telegenic new leader arrives virtually out of nowhere. He offers a message of hope and reconciliation based on compromise and promises to marshal technology for a better future that will include universal health care.

The news media swoons in admiration — one simpering anchorman even shouts at a reporter who asks a tough question: “Why don’t you show some respect?!” The public is likewise smitten, except for a few nut cases who circulate batty rumors on the Internet about the leader’s origins and intentions. The leader, undismayed, offers assurances that are soothing, if also just a tiny bit condescending: “Embracing change is never easy.”

So, does that sound like anyone you know? Oh, wait — did I mention the leader is secretly a totalitarian space lizard who’s come here to eat us?

Welcome to ABC’s “V,” the most fascinating and bound to be the most controversial new show of the fall television season. Nominally a rousing sci-fi space opera about alien invaders bent on the conquest (and digestion) of all humanity, it’s also a barbed commentary on Obamamania that will infuriate the president’s supporters and delight his detractors.

ABC has committed to four episodes of “V.” If it does well, they’ll renew it. Unfortunately, the Obama administration can’t be canceled for three more years.

Source: Chicago Tribune

Al Gore admits the science wasn’t settled, he’s been bullshitting

Al Gore has publicly admitted that carbon dioxide isn’t actually to blame for most pre-2001 global warming. And since the world has been cooling since 1998 and…well…what the hell, Al?

Al Gore, former Vice President and current carnival huckster
Al Gore, former Vice President and current carnival huckster

We’re not even exaggerating this for comic effect. No need.

Al Gore has publicly admitted that carbon dioxide isn’t actually to blame for most pre-2001 global warming. And since the world has been cooling since 1998 and…well…what the hell, Al?

The BBC reports a story that guaranteed to be under-reported in the United States:

“Gore explored new studies – published only last week – that show methane and black carbon or soot had a far greater impact on global warming than previously thought. Carbon dioxide – while the focus of the politics of climate change – produces around 40% of the actual warming. Gore acknowledged to Newsweek that the findings could complicate efforts to build a political consensus around the need to limit carbon emissions.”

So now it turns out the science really is settled and the results of the latest computer models prove exactly we suspected:

Al Gore is a lying sack of excrement.

Source: World BBC News

Simon Cowell gives $160,000 to save little girl from the ravages of socialized medicine

Stepping in when Britain’s socialized medical system failed, American Idol judge Simon Cowell donated nearly $160,000 to help save the life of a cancer-stricken little girl.

Thanks to the miracle of British socialized medicine, it's been proven that Simon Cowell has a heart
Thanks to the miracle of British socialized medicine, it's been proven that Simon Cowell has a heart

Stepping in when Britain’s socialized medical system failed, American Idol judge Simon Cowell donated nearly $160,000 to help save the life of a cancer-stricken little girl.

This report from London’s Daily Mail tells the story:

The pop Svengali donated the money for 18-month-old Sophie Atay–from Birtley, Gateshead–to fly to the US for pioneering treatment at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital in New York.

He acted after learning the youngster’s family launched a last-ditch appeal for £500,000 to pay for the treatment last week after they were told Sophie was suffering from a rare form of neuroblastoma and needed treatment within days.

Now hold on just a gol-danged minute here. There’s something very fishy about this story.

We all know Great Britain is a paradise where socialized medicine has done away with all sickness. So why does this little English girl have to fly halfway around the world to get medical care in the United States? And for god’s sake, why does a wealthy stranger have to pay for it?

This is obviously a phony story cooked up by evil Republicans in an attempt to keep the United States from having a wonderful socialized medical system like Great Britain.

And we almost fell for it.

Source: Daily Mail UK

CIT goes bankrupt. Poof! There go those TARP profits the Obama administration bragged about last month

Remember how the media happily bought the Obama administration’s TARP storyline back in August?

Tim Geithner should remember the words of noted American philosopher and baseball pitcher Satchel Paige, "Don't look back. Something might be gainin' on you."
Tim Geithner should remember the words of noted American philosopher and baseball pitcher Satchel Paige, "Don't look back. Something might be gainin' on you."

Remember how the media happily bought the Obama administration’s TARP storyline back in August?

For example, this report from the New York Times:

As Banks Repay Bailout Money, U.S. Sees a Profit

Nearly a year after the federal rescue of the nation’s biggest banks, taxpayers have begun seeing profits from the hundreds of billions of dollars in aid that many critics thought might never be seen again.
The profits, collected from eight of the biggest banks that have fully repaid their obligations to the government, come to about $4 billion, or the equivalent of about 15 percent annually, according to calculations compiled for The New York Times.

That’s great news! TARP was pure genius. Give Obama a Nobel Prize in Economics to go on the mantel next to the Peace Prize. Except for one thing.

As the Naked Capitalist said, “Credit 101 is that your best borrowers repay first (unless you gave them overly generous terms, of course, then they might hang on to the proceeds). A quick but not conclusive search suggests that only a small portion of the TARP has been retired, so it is wildly premature to declare victory.”

Wildly premature, indeed, considering the latest news from Bloomberg:

Continue reading “CIT goes bankrupt. Poof! There go those TARP profits the Obama administration bragged about last month”

Ouch! Another British politician tweaks the noses of global warming fanatics.

You’re going to love Godfrey Bloom. A Member of the European Parliament from the United Kingdom, Bloom loves to tweak the noses of the establishment.

You’re going to love Godfrey Bloom. A Member of the European Parliament from the United Kingdom, Bloom loves to tweak the noses of the establishment. Like in this brief comment about the global warming “crisis.”

“I take the opportunity of wishing the east European cities well in the coming of the very early skiing season, and snow and ice, which is indicative of the fact that, as independent scientists have now confirmed, that the globe is actually cooling and has been cooling since 2002 and broadly flat since 1998.

“So we’re all talking about something here which isn’t happening. I’ve heard time and time again members talk of CO2 as a pollutant — a pollutant that’s a life-giving natural gas. It gives me the impression that some of our members haven’t had the benefit of a formal education.

“Isn’t this really just about the state being able to get its hand in ordinary people’s trouser pocket and still get more tax from them? Isn’t this all about political control? Isn’t this all about politics and big business? The whole thing’s a sham, this bogus hypothesis that man-made CO2 is causing global warming.

“Enough, please, before we damage irrevocably the global economy.”

Of course, he eviscerates them in that clipped British accent that says, “I’m smarter than you could ever hope to be.” And in the case of the European Parliament, he probably is.

Source: IceAgeNow.com

Dueling Headlines: Women, Taxes, Guns

The lesson to be learned from these headlines? Don’t turn in any female tax cheats in Chicago.

City to Pay for Informing on Tax Cheats
Source: NBCchicago.com

Number Of Women Buying Handguns Increasing
Source: CBS2Chicago.com

The lesson to be learned from these headlines? Don’t turn in any female tax cheats in Chicago.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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