Author: editor

Lunacy: Al Sharpton says Newt Gingrich is trying to “suppress the black vote” by appealing to black voters

The topsy turvy world of black politics now defines a white candidate seeking black votes as an attempt to suppress the black vote.

Just as saving the lives of black babies is now called racism, the topsy turvy world of black politics now defines a white candidate seeking black votes as an attempt to suppress the black vote.

And that’s not us editorializing, it’s a direct quote from the preeminent arbiter of all things racial, the Reverend Al Sharpton.

Mediaite.com reports the racial revisionism:

Sharpton, who spoke to host Cenk Uygur yesterday, explained his outrage against Gingrich for telling Republicans to “have the courage” to sell their ideas to the most Democratic African-American voting block. Sharpton argued that black people received “disproportionate injury from Republican policy” that was so obvious it was offensive for him to promote those policies at all. In doing so, he argued, Gingrich “assumes that we’re stupid,” or “is trying to throw something out at the media to cover up the fact that his campaign is falling apart.”

Well, yes, the Gingrich campaign is falling apart, but that’s about the only thing Sharpton got right. But hold on just a goldanged minute, because the Reverend hasn’t run out of stupid yet.

Sharpton went further to propose that it was possible that Gingrich was also “hoping to suppress the black vote” by speaking ill of President Obama such that those that voted for him in 2008 and would never vote Republican would simply stay home. That theory aside, Sharpton was still outraged. “The audacity of even saying something like that,” he argued of Gingrich’s attempt to court the black vote, “is something that insults us.” It was not exclusively the idea of a Republican courting the black vote that outraged him, however, but what he perceived as Gingrich’s hypocrisy in using language such as “the food stamp president” and citing President Obama’s “anti-colonial, Kenyan” views in order to, according to Sharpton, court the racist vote as well.

A white politician reaching out to black voters? The audacity! The horror! The outrageosity!

When will those uppity white politicians learn their place in life?

Source: Mediaite.com

California, there they go! Businesses abandoning the Golden State

California is experiencing the fastest rate of disinvestment events in the three years since a specialized tracking system was put into place.

Must be something about warm climates and beautiful scenery that alienates businessfolk. How else does one explain the way they seem to shun locales like Greece, Spain and California?

california-leaving
There's a reason no one's doing cover versions of "California Dreamin'" in 2011

Professor Mark Perry explores the phenomenon:

“Today, California is experiencing the fastest rate of disinvestment events based on public domain information, closure notices to the state, and information from affected employees in the three years since a specialized tracking system was put into place.

Our losses are occurring at an accelerated rate. Also, no one knows the real level of activity because smaller companies are not required to file layoff notices with the state. A conservative estimate is that only 1 out of 5 company departures becomes public knowledge, which means California may suffer more than 1,000 disinvestment events this year.

Layoff notices? The Golden State must have a lot of ATMs.

Based on the legislature’s recent rejection of business-friendly legislation and Sacramento’s implementation of additional regulations, signs are that California’s hostility towards business will only worsen. California is such fertile ground that representatives for economic development agencies are visiting companies to dissect our high taxes, extreme regulatory environment and other expenses to show annual savings of between 20 and 40 percent after an out-of-state move.”

California’s problem must be a lack of high-speed rail. Business dissatisfaction couldn’t be the fault of the state’s politicians, the same ones have been in office for eons.

We’re mystified, but luckily California has zillions of bright, highly compensated employees on the state payroll. They’ll surely figure this thing out sooner or later.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Professor Mark Perry

Hilarious: Key Al-Qaeda operative blew $20 million on Chicago futures exchange

Pity poor Al Tayyeb. He hoped to end up with a fat wallet, but when his Saudi “investors” find out what he did, he’ll probably end up with a fatwa instead.

Trading commodities is a harrowing way to make a living. These lunatics risk millions of dollars on split second bets for tenths of a cent. The good ones end up absurdly wealthy, but the bad ones end up with holes in their stomachs. And they all end up with teeth ground down to the roots.

futures-traders
Losing $20 million on the Chicago futures exchange probably limits your future in Al-Qaeda

The Chicago Tribune explains how Al-Qaeda fits into the story:

Abu al Tayyeb, who had allegedly considered a biological attack and other terror plots against U.S. citizens, wired $35 million to an associate, of which $26.7 million was deposited into an account in 2005, according to the federal lawsuit by the U.S. Justice Department.

In less than a year, the account plummeted to less than $7 million because of poor trading decisions by the associate, according to the lawsuit, filed in federal court in Chicago over the weekend.

… While the civil lawsuit does not link al Tayyeb’s money to any terror activity, it portrays him as an al-Qaida operative who raised money for the terror group and plotted attacks on U.S. citizens and allies.

“Al Tayyeb began raising significant amounts of money through … a Saudi Arabian-based investment scheme,” the lawsuit alleged. “Al Tayyeb then used the funds raised, in part, to finance jihadist-related activities.”

Pity poor Al Tayyeb. He hoped to end up with a fat wallet, but when his Saudi “investors” find out what he did, he’ll probably end up with a fatwa instead.

Source: Chicago Tribune

One down, one to go: Dutch politician Geert Wilders acquitted of hate speech

A Dutch court acquited populist politician Geert Wilders on Thursday. He had been accused of inciting hatred of Muslims by telling the truth.

You may find this hard to believe, but the world isn’t completely insane. A Dutch court acquited populist politician Geert Wilders on Thursday. He had been accused of inciting hatred of Muslims by telling the truth.

geert wilders
Speech is a little freer in the Netherlands now that Geert Wilders is free

Reuters has the report:

The case was seen by some as a test of free speech in a country which has a long tradition of tolerance and blunt talk, but where opposition to immigration, particularly from Muslim or predominantly Muslim countries, is on the rise.

Instantly recognizable by his mane of dyed blond hair, Wilders, 47, is one of the most outspoken critics of Islam and immigration in the Netherlands.

His Freedom Party is now the third-largest in parliament, a measure of support for its anti-immigrant stance, and is the minority government’s chief ally. But many of Wilders’ comments — such as likening Islam to Nazism — are socially divisive.

andrew bolt aborigines
A selection of the Australian aborigines who are suing blogger Andrew Bolt

Really nice impartial work, Reuters. You didn’t even attempt to disguise your editorializing by saying, “Some people say his comments are socially divisive.” You went straight to they are socially divisive.

Unfortunately, the Wilders case isn’t an isolated incident. Australian newspaper columnist, blogger and TV star Andrew Bolt  is currently being tried under his nation’s Racial Discrimination Act.

His offense? Suggesting in a series of columns that some light or white-skinned Aussies who identify themselves as aboriginal may have motives that are less than pure. The overly-sensitive “aboriginal” plaintiffs say they were offended, insulted, humiliated or intimidated by Bolt’s articles.

One day at a time. Wilders today, Bolt tomorrow.

Source: Reuters

Rand Paul explains reality to TSA Chief: “You’re clueless on the people who want to attack our country”

Rand Paul racked up another one for his highlight reel when TSA Chief John Pistole appeared before the U.S. Senate. Paul looked him in the eye and told him what we’d all like to tell him:

Rand Paul racked up another one for his highlight reel when TSA Chief John Pistole appeared before the U.S. Senate.

Paul looked him in the eye and told him what we’d all like to tell him:

It makes me think you’re clueless, if you think she (a 6-year old) is going to attack our country and you’re not doing your research on the people who want to attack our country.

Myself and a lot of other Americans think you’ve gone overboard and you’re missing the boat on terrorism because you’re doing invasive searches on 6-year-old girls.

Of course, this concept makes liberal heads explode because it’s not politically correct.

In Liberalville, 6-year old girls from Muncie, Indiana are more likely to hijack airplanes than nervous 25-year old Muslim men who pray to Mecca just before take-off.

The world’s most pompous writer doesn’t like Andrew Breitbart

NPR’s Jack White’s goal isn’t to educate or elucidate, but to impress others with his own education and intellect. And he doesn’t like Andrew Breitbart.

We found a guy at NPR who doesn’t like Andrew Breitbart. Jack White’s a writer. One of those writers who writes and endlessly rewrites his words until he’s absolutely certain that the dolts who read them will say, “This guy sure is smart.” His goal isn’t to educate or elucidate, but to impress others with his own education and intellect.

We, of course, are mere bloggers, but we highly recommend that White enter the first sentence of his Breitbart article in the 2011 Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest that honors bad opening sentences. We think he has a real shot at taking home the 2012 prize.

Without further delay, here is how White started his article at bias-free NPR.org:

bulwer-lytton
Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton, inspiration for NPR writer Jack White

It’s a pity that the 19th-century Austrian novelist Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach was not still around this week to witness a spectacular vindication of her most famous aphorism: Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. 

That old adage applies to Andrew Breitbart, the right-wing-media hit man previously best known for manufacturing a charge of racism that forced the heroic Shirley Sherrod to resign from the Department of Agriculture and for publicizing a highly edited sting videotape supposedly showing employees at the now defunct community organization ACORN advising a prostitute on how to avoid paying taxes. His track record establishes that Breitbart’s grasp of the facts is no firmer than Sarah Palin’s command of American history.

But in, er, exposing the eponymously named Rep. Anthony Weiner, Breitbart finally managed to hit his target. It will be a relief when Weiner finally realizes that he should resign from Congress and devote himself to his pregnant wife. He is an embarrassment.

Ahhh, yes. We, too, love 19th century Austrian novelists. The eponymously named Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach is one of our particular favorites. We can’t begin to tell you how many hours we’ve spent chortling at her droll observations on the human condition. Her aphorisms never cease to delight, just as Jack White’s words never ceases to annoy.

Sadly, we’re unable to quote any 19th century Austrian novelists, but to paraphrase the words of the Editor’s 20th century Dutch farmer father, “Jack White is the south end of a horse going north.”

Source: NPR.org, Bulwer-Lytton.com

The story of the Lone Marine: These guys are made of something tougher than the rest of us

For the last few years, one Marine in full dress uniform has stood at attention in the middle of the street holding a continuous, unbroken salute for every biker in the procession.

There’s an annual event in Washington, DC called Rolling Thunder Sunday in which thousands of vets ride their motorcycles to the Vietnam Memorial. It’s an incredible display of patriotism and comradeship — the kind of thing you’d expect from guys who were willing to risk their lives for the rest of us.

staff sgt tim chambers
We salute retired Staff Sergeant Tim Chambers

For the last few years, one Marine in full dress uniform has stood at attention in the middle of the street holding a continuous, unbroken salute for every biker in the procession. His remarkable exhibition of strength and dedication lasts more than four hours.

Back in 2002 retired Staff Sergeant Tim Chambers decided he wanted to do something to show all the other vets how much he cared, so he spontaneously stepped into the road to salute to the riders. That first salute has now become an annual event.

Why the salute? “It’s about the pain,” Tim said. “A lot of these heroic guys still hurt and if I can relieve their pain for just one brief moment, then I’ve done my job.”

This year’s salute was more painful than usual. Watch the video. Be amazed. Be proud. And be grateful that there are guys like Tim Chambers who are willing and able to do the things they do.

Semper fi, Sergeant Chambers.

Liberal conundrum: Kenya’s Muslim leaders want to execute gays

As difficult as it will be for liberals to choose between their radical Muslim constituency and their gay constituency, we assume they’ll go with the gays because…

Strip the burqa off to expose the true face of Islam and it ain’t pretty. But it does make for an amusing situation when liberals find out that the radical Muslims they are so quick to defend want to execute one of liberalism’s core constituencies.

gay-muslim
Osama Bin Swishie takes a stroll around Nairobi

Times Live has the deadly details:

Muslim leaders in Kenya have called on the government to introduce the death penalty for homosexuals and to boycott their businesses, media reports said Monday.

“Death is the only punishment prescribed by Islam for such people as done in China and Iran,” the Daily Nation quoted Sheikh Mohammed Khalifa, of the Council of Imams and Preachers of Kenya, as saying.

“We are asking Kenyans to shun businesses owned by such people and further show them open discrimination as a way of stopping the beastly act,” he told reporters at an anti-homosexual workshop.

And if they don’t stop “the beastly act,” we assume that they will be stoned to death, an act of supreme kindness.

Another participant at the work shop, Sheikh Majid Obeid also blamed Kenya’s recent drought on “illicit activities.”

“The rising cost of living and drought are due to the behaviour of these Kenyans who are not ready to change,” he said.

As difficult as it will be for liberals to choose between their radical Muslim constituency and their gay constituency, we assume they’ll go with the gays because the radical Muslims made the mistake of endorsing the death penalty.

Ten demerits for the radical Muslims.

Source: Times Live

61% of Americans pissed at the media. So why isn’t everyone reading IHateTheMedia.com?

A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 61% of Likely U.S. Voters are at least somewhat angry at the media.

Let’s see. There are 300 million Americans and Rasmussen says 61% of them hate the media. According to our rough calculations, that means we have about 183 million potential readers.

Damn it. We’re not fulfilling our potential. This is like reliving every report card we ever got in school.

danger-angry-american
Fox News will probably be the only television network to report this story

Rasmussen confirms that although we are thought leaders, we are economic laggards:

A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 61% of Likely U.S. Voters are at least somewhat angry at the media, with 26% who are Very Angry. Thirty-six percent (36%) don’t share that anger, including 13% who are Not At All Angry at the media.

This is only slightly less anger than voters expressed in June of last year as the midterm election season was heating up.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking everyone hates the media, though. There is one narrow segment of the American public that loves the media. You won’t be surprised to find out who they are:

The Political Class, however, likes the job the media is doing. While 47% of Mainstream voters feel that most reporters are trying to advance the president’s agenda, 64% of those in the Political Class think they are more interested in unbiased reporting. No wonder, then, that 71% of Mainstream voters are angry at the media, but 83% of the Political Class are not.

The same Rasmussen poll shows that 69% Americans express anger at the current policies of the federal government.

Maybe we should start a second money-losing site called IHateTheGovernment.com. It would be based, of course, on the time-tested liberal theory that we lose money on every website, but we’ll make it up in volume.

H/T: CO2Insanity

Source: Rasmussen

Ultimate arbiter of cool announces that Obama still is

In David Axelrod’s mind Barack Obama is the coolest of the cool. The hippest of the hip. The grooviest, baby.

David Axelrod is a rumbled, old political strategist with a wrinkled suit, a bad haircut, a silly moustache and cloud of cigarette smoke hanging over his head. He’s so far from cool that it’s a long distance call.

david-axelrod
David Axelrod is (a) saying Barack Obama is A-OK or (b) his arthritis is acting up again

Nevertheless, Axelrod wants you to know that he knows what cool is. And in David Axelrod’s mind Barack Obama is the coolest of the cool. The hippest of the hip. The grooviest, baby.

Real Clear Politics reports Axelrod’s delusion:

”I find it as cool to be an Obama supporter. Having sat with him for two years is the White House and watched him — watching him work through some very difficult things with a lot of intelligence and grace, equilibrium. I, I have great admiration for him,” Obama’s chief campaign strategist told CNN.

“The people who were participating in the campaign in 2008 weren’t involved n some sort of cult of personality. It wasn’t just about Barack Obama, it was the country and they cared deeply about this country,” Axelrod said in his answer a question about how to make Obama “cool” again.

Well, there you have it. If someone as cool as David Axelrod says Obama is still cool, then cool he is.

In a Bay City Rollers kind of way.

Source: Real Clear Politics

Want to save black babies’ lives? That makes you a racist.

Black is beautiful just turned ugly. A California organization has been accused of racism because it ran pro-life outdoor boards in black neighborhoods.

Black is beautiful just turned ugly. A California organization has been accused of racism because it ran pro-life outdoor boards in black neighborhoods.

Of course it sounds insane. But Representative Barbara Lee is involved in the story, so it’s insane by definition.

black-and-beautiful
Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Just keep repeating it until it's meaningless.

CNB has the story of the aborted ad campaign:

…The Issues4Life Foundation and The Radiance Foundation have launched a pro-life billboard campaign with the goal of saving the lives of hundreds of thousands of black babies aborted in America each year.

“The impact of abortion in the black community is the Darfur of America,” Walter B. Hoye II, president of the Issues4Life Foundation, told Life Site News.

The signs in question contain the message “Black & Beautiful” and are going up in largely black communities in Oakland, Calif.

Statistics show that black women are three times more likely to have abortions as the general population. So it would seem to be a good idea to run the ads in black neighborhoods. But, no, attempting to save the lives of black babies is – you guessed it – racist.

… Planned Parenthood and California pro-choice groups are calling the ads racist. They say the “black & beautiful” slogan is too close to the “black is beautiful” cultural-pride campaign made popular in the 1960s.

Rep. Barbara Lee, D-Calif., has also spoken out against the billboards.

“I am deeply offended by the race-based billboards that are being displayed in my congressional district by the Radiance Foundation and Issues4life,” she said in a statement.

“These billboards stigmatize women of color and perpetuate myths about parenting skills and the types of women who seek and use abortion services,” Lee added.

You know the race mongers have truly jumped the shark when attempting to save the lives of black babies is called racism.

And in the case of Barbara Lee, it’s just too bad that retroactive abortion isn’t legal.

Source: CBN

Congressmen bravely stand up for your right to not be harassed by the TSA! As long as you’re Mexican or Haitian.

Good News! The TSA will soon be investigating the racial profiling of Mexicans and Haitians at an airport in New Jersey.

Good news. While the government might not be able to do anything about the TSA’s seemingly insatiable desire to grope your children, they will soon be investigating the racial profiling of Mexicans and Haitians at an airport in New Jersey.

Never mind that neither Haitian nor Mexican is a race. At least not if you have any plans on flying anywhere in the near future and don’t want the rubber-gloved hand of national security treating you literally the way Obama is treating you figuratively.

tsa agent
The rubber-gloved tyranny of the TSA

NJ.com puts their finger on it for us:

The Republican chairman and ranking Democrat on the House Homeland Security Committee said they want the head of the Transportation Security Administration to explain how racial profiling became a common practice among TSA screeners at Newark Liberty International Airport.

Rep. Peter King (R-N.Y.) and Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-Miss) are both seeking answers from TSA Administrator John Pistole, after a federal report found several behavior detection officers, or BDOs, had singled out Mexican and Dominican passengers for special scrutiny, bag searches, questioning and document reviews in 2008 and 2009.

It is our sincere hope that these matters can be dealt with quickly and effectively so that the TSA can get back to the important work of molesting your grandmother.

– Written by Kip Hooker at TheVitaminPress.com

Source: NJ.com

$700 billion can’t buy Ben Bernanke a clue

Some startling news: The Pope is Catholic, bears excrete better things than the 2009 Stimulus bill in the woods and Fed Chairman Bernanke has no clue what’s wrong with the economy.

Some startling news: The Pope is Catholic, bears excrete better things than the 2009 Stimulus bill in the woods and Fed Chairman Bernanke has no clue what’s wrong with the economy.

Forbes has the story:

[In his second post-FOMC press conference] Bernanke admitted that he had no clue what was actually causing the current fragility in the U.S. economic recovery. While the FOMC statement assigned blame outside of the U.S., pointing at Japan along with rising food and oil prices, Bernanke […admitted…] only some of the factors were temporary and that he didn’t know exactly what was causing the slowdown, but that it would persist. “Growth,” said Bernanke, “will return into 2012.”

bernanke-praying
Ben Bernanke prays that no one will ask him a really hard question

Ben’s cluelessness is not news. His moves recently have been a central banker’s version of running in circles and screaming. What does surprise is the fact he still doesn’t get it, like someone having Anthony Weiner for a roommate and not understanding why he spends so much time with his smartphone. The problem is as plain as the nose on Barack Obama’s face.

Victor Davis Hanson explains:

…those in business, from the small entrepreneur to the captain of industry, have decided that it is wisest to sit out what is left of this administration, and wait to hire, buy, invest, and expand until someone at the top shows a basic knowledge of finance and economics, and some sympathy concerning what those in the private sector must contend with.

Simply put, growth will return in 2013 or 2017, when Barack Obama doesn’t.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Forbes, Victor David Hanson

White House didn’t want you to know that Democrats laugh when Obama claims he’s created two million jobs

When conservative bloggers publicized the fact that Democrat contributors laughed at Obama, the White House rushed out a new, improved transcript.

After the President gives a speech the White House puts out a transcript complete with audience reactions noted.

For example, he spoke to the Democrat National Committee on Monday and said that his administration had created 2.1 million jobs. The transcript duly noted that the audience laughed.

Who can blame them. Surely they thought it was intended as a punch line.

But when conservative bloggers publicized the fact that Democrat contributors laughed at the claim, the White House rushed out a new, improved transcript.

The new one replaced (Laughter) with (Applause).

We have a feeling that someone in the White House isn’t laughing right now.

laugh-obama-job-claim

H/T: Gateway Pundit

California blows $100 million building one new school, but doesn’t have enough money to open it

We don’t know what it’s like in the other 56 states, but in California we have an interesting situation in which morons are in charge of the education system.

We don’t know what it’s like in the other 56 states, but in California we have an interesting situation in which morons are in charge of the education system.

In Riverside, California (the Editor’s hometown) the voters approved construction of a new high school back in 2007. The total cost of its construction eventually reached an astounding $100 million.

One. Hundred. Million. Dollars. For that kind of money the school mascot should be George Soros.

hillcrest high school
The architect's rendering of HIllcrest High School was very accurate. Except for its inclusion of students.

Construction is now complete, but the district can’t afford to open it because it would cost another $3 million to operate it each year and the district is tapped out. So neighboring schools will remain overcrowded while the new Hillcrest High School gathers dust and cobwebs.

Yahoo News reports the idiocy:

Wendell Tucker of the Alvord Unified School District said the district’s $130 million operating budget had been cut by $25 million.

“When the California budget goes down and income in the state goes down, funding to K-through-12 education goes with it,” Tucker told USA Today. “We made a number of budget adjustments. Right now, we simply are out of adjustments, and it’s not feasible … to open this school.”

And it’s not clear that things will be any different in 2012. “We’ll look at it on a year by year basis,” Tucker added.

But wait. We know this is hard to believe, but it gets worse.

… even though the school won’t be in use, the district will still have to spend $1 million to maintain the buildings and run air conditioning and other systems, to keep them from deteriorating.

May we be so bold as to suggest that if the school ever opens it might be a good idea to make economics a required class.

H/T: Kimmy Queen

Source: Yahoo News

The latest glitch in ObamaCare: Millions more qualify for free insurance

Obamacare would let several million middle-class people get nearly free insurance meant for the poor, a twist discovered only after the complex bill was signed.

Obamacare is like any other pile of feces – you gotta pass it to find out what’s in it. One year later, Obama’s signature piece of legislative diarrhea still reeks with surprises.

Yahoo has the latest poop:

[Obamacare] would let several million middle-class people get nearly free insurance meant for the poor, a twist government number crunchers say they discovered only after the complex bill was signed.

free-obamacare
If you think healthcare is expensive now...oh, wait, that's what the sign says

… 3 million more people could qualify for Medicaid in 2014 [because]…. most of their Social Security benefits would no longer be counted as income for determining eligibility. It might be compared to allowing middle-class people to qualify for food stamps.…administration officials and senior Democratic lawmakers say it’s not a loophole but the result of a well-meaning effort to simplify rules for deciding who will get help with insurance costs….

Good intentions, the best pavement for certain roads we know. But who’s getting pooped on?

…states have been clamoring for relief from Medicaid costs, complaining that just these sorts of federal rules drive up spending and limit state options.

States, the guys that CAN’T print money at will. This will be fixed ASAP, then….

A spokeswoman for the Senate Finance Committee… said if the situation does become a problem there’s plenty of time to fix it later.

Sure, things will be less hectic after the apocalypse. Now for the good news…

“The fact that this is being discovered now tells you, what else is baked into this law?” said [Mike] Leavitt, [HHS secretary under President Bush.]

Yeah, that Obama is some baker.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Associated Press via Yahoo

Joke of the Day: The tree hugger and the tree

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland in Washington….

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland in Washington.

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

old-growth-forest
She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local emergency room to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, “What took you so long?”

He smiled and then told her, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a “recreational area” so close to a waste treatment facility. I’m sorry, but due to ObamaCare they turned you down.”

Liberal logic? San Francisco city retirees make more than the workers who pay their pensions

If you live in San Francisco and you’re unfortunate enough to work for someone other than the city/county government, you’re getting screwed.

If you live in San Francisco and you’re unfortunate enough to work for someone other than the city/county government, you’re getting screwed. And there ain’t no glory hole in sight.

heather-fong
No wonder Heather Fong is smiling. The former San Francisco police chief gets an annual pension of $264,000

The SF Gate spells out the specifics:

The average retiree from San Francisco city government earns an annual pension of $46,272, according to the San Francisco Employees’ Retirement System. The average retiree who worked at least 30 years in city government earns an annual pension of $76,981.

The average pension for a retiree from the Fire Department is $108,552. From the Police Department? $95,016. And everybody else? $41,136.

The figures show most retirees aren’t getting anywhere near the fat packages that outrage many city residents – like the $264,000 pension paid to former Police Chief Heather Fong last year.

But city retirees are doing pretty well compared with working San Franciscans. Census data show the median family income in the city is $86,546. Per capita income is $44,373.

Four words: Un. Sus. Tain. Able.

Source: SF Gate

Chris Matthews doesn’t like the way Texas Governor Rick Perry uses his hands. No, really.

The idea tank is running on empty over at MSNBC. Chris Matthews is out of reasons to badmouth conservatives.

The idea tank is running on empty over at MSNBC. Chris Matthews is out of reasons to badmouth conservatives. He’s used stupid and evil and racist and sexist, so now he’s forced to get a bit more creative in his criticism.

That being said, “He makes funny hand motions” seems pretty weak.

C’mon, Chris, you didn’t have any problem with the way Anthony Weiner used his hands.

H/T: Breitbart.tv

Is another Kennedy drinking? RFK Jr says Air America was more popular than Rush, Beck and Hannity

Despite this delusional pronouncement from the heir to the Kennedy name, Air America remains one of the great failures in the history of broadcasting.

Hide the Jack Daniels. Crazy Uncle bobby is coming over to visit and you need to protect him from himself.

Now, we’re only hypothesizing that it was alcohol talking, but what else could explain RFK Jr’s bizarre claim that Air America was more popular than conservative radio?

Despite this delusional pronouncement from the heir to the Kennedy name, Air America remains one of the great failures in the history of broadcasting. It has a horribly flawed business model, few stations, and few listeners. In the few major markets where it had affiliates, it had one sixth of the listeners of conservative talk radio.

Tavis Smily, any Kennedy and PBS. Mix ‘em all together and you’re sure to get some absolutely stupid comments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEMhzN3tqYY

You can’t make this stuff up: Former Hillary intern now a porn star

Hillary Clinton should have had a clue when she learned the name of the intern she interviewed back in 2006.

Hillary Clinton should have had a clue when she learned the name of the intern she interviewed back in 2006. If there was ever a name that cried out “Porn star” it had to be Sammie Spades.

Here we are five short years later and Sammie has fulfilled the fate destined by her moniker.

hillary intern
The politician and the porn star: It's often difficult to tell the difference

The Daily Mail UK keeps us abreast of the story:

Ms Spades, whose assets include a 32DD bust and 26″ waist, was planning on going to college in Buffalo, New York, when she met Mrs Clinton at a banquet and asked if she could intern over the summer months.

To her delight she was accepted at Mrs Clinton’s Buffalo office. She did miscellaneous office work and no doubt made lots of coffee, but did dream of a career in politics.

‘I was planning on becoming an attorney and then going into public office,’ Ms Spades told TMZ.

sammie-spades
That was then, this is now: Hillary's intern today

Sadly, it was not meant to be. We sincerely believe that Sammie’s path in life was predetermined by the name she was given at birth:

But alas, a couple of years after she left Mrs Clinton, Ms Spades ran into money problems.

She abandoned politics and decided a career in porn was the best way to pay the bills.

The star of Big Butts Like It Big 8 and White bubble Butts 4, never stopped admiring Mrs Clinton.

Obviously, there is very little difference between politics and porn.

In one you have to be willing to screw anyone and sell your body and soul to anyone who offers you a little money. And in the other you make movies.

That being said, wouldn’t you agree that it’s an absolutely incredible coincidence that a woman trained by Hillary Clinton should star in a movie called “Big Butts”?

Source: Daily Mail UK

Obama the comedian: My administration is the best damn friend Israel’s ever had

“Let have a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, for the comedy stylings of Barack ‘Shecky’ Obama.”

Presidents always wonder what they’ll do when they leave office. In the case of Barack Obama there’s no question. He leaves office on January 21, 2013 and will open the next night at the Improv in Las Vegas.

“Let have a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, for the comedy stylings of Barack ‘Shecky’ Obama.”

obama-comedian
Barack "Shecky" Obama probably won't be playing the Catskills circuit

Reuters has the hilarious details:

President Barack Obama reassured Jewish donors on Monday he strongly supports Israel, stressing close ties between the United States and the Jewish state, but also emphasizing that changes in the Middle East will require a fresh look at the region.

“Both the United States and Israel are going to have to look at this new landscape with fresh eyes. It’s not going to be sufficient for us just to keep on doing the same things,” Obama said at the first of two big-ticket fund-raisers where he was speaking on Monday evening.

He addressed the crowd of about 80 people a month after a speech on the Middle East that exposed a rift between the United States and Israel. At Monday’s dinner, hosted by Americans in Support of a Strong U.S.-Israel Relationship, he said his administration had done more than any for 25 years to support Israel’s security.

And then he said, “I just flew in and, man, are my arms tired. I used to live in an apartment that was so small the mice were hunchbacked. Take my wife. Please. Thank you. Thank you very much. I’ll be here all week.”

Everyone’s laughing except the Israelis.

Source: Reuters

Run, Rick, run: Texas Governor Rick Perry sounds like a man running for President

When Rick Perry spoke to the Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans the crowd seemed to sense that there was something different about this guy.

We’re all – all of us except the Ron Paul fanatics, that is – looking for a Republican candidate who can get us excited about his or her candidacy. And we’re all having a little trouble finding that person, because all our choices seem a bit flawed.

Maybe Texas Governor Rick Perry is the answer. He looks presidential. He has a big success story to tell. He has a big stack of Texas electoral votes in his pocket. And when he spoke to last weekend’s Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans the crowd seemed to sense that there was something different about this guy.

He sounded like the kind of candidate we could support when he said, “Our opponents on the left are never going to like us, so let’s quit trying to curry favor with them!”

By the time he left the stage, the crowd was on their feet chanting, “Run, Rick, Run!” We agree with the crowd.

Here’s his entire speech. All 25 inspiring minutes of it.

More people killed by European organic vegetable sprouts than Fukushima meltdown and Gulf oil spill combined

Oddly enough, more people have been killed by e coli-infected organic vegetable sprouts in Europe than were killed in both of the world’s worst environmental disasters combined.

Eco-wackos hand out trophies for “Worst Environmental Disaster In History” like Hollywood hands out Oscars. Just last year the Gulf oil spill won the title, only to have it snatched away by Japan’s Fukushima nuclear meltdown.

brussels-sprouts
Brussels is a good place to find bureaucrats, but a bad place to find sprouts

One would imagine that the world’s worst environmental disasters must cause untold deaths. Yet, oddly enough, more people have been killed by e coli-infected organic vegetable sprouts in Europe than were killed in both of the world’s worst environmental disasters combined.

Who cares about environmental disasters when US News has the story of the world’s worst epicurean disaster:

Vegetable sprouts grown on an organic farm in northwestern Germany caused the E. coli outbreak that’s sickened nearly 3,000 people and killed 29, according to the head of the nation’s national disease control center.

While no tests of vegetable sprouts from the farm in Lower Saxony came back positive for the E. coli strain responsible for the outbreak, an investigation into the pattern of the outbreak yielded enough evidence to put the finger of blame on the farm, Reinhard Burger, president of the Robert Koch Institute, said…

SmallDeadAnimals.com makes sense of it all:

One German organic farm has killed twice as many people as the Fukushima nuclear disaster and the Gulf Oil spill combined.

Good lord. Do you know what this means? Al Gore will have to make do with domestic vegetable sprouts.

This. Is. Un. Acceptable.

H/T: Andrew Bolt

Oil! Conspiracy! Intrigue! Swarthy, mysterious foreigners. This story has it all.

Some of our Canadian friends are spinning a conspiratorial tale about foreign interest wolves in sheep’s clothing interfering in an important domestic industry. Oil, to be specific.

Some of our Canadian friends are spinning a conspiratorial tale about foreign interest wolves in sheep’s clothing interfering in an important domestic industry. Oil, to be specific.

prince-alwaleed-bin-talal
Only the world's 26th richest man would color coordinate his giant sunglasses and his turtleneck sweater

The Toronto Sun outlines the paranoia:

An OPEC billionaire has publicly said what everyone long suspected… Saudi Arabia doesn’t want the world to develop unconventional sources of oil, like Canada’s oilsands.

Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, the world’s 26th richest man, worth more than $19 billion, told CNN he’s worried if oil prices stay around $100 a barrel, the West will look for other sources of oil and Saudi Arabia would lose its dominant position.

Doesn’t mpact us since non-Muslim president Obama discovered plenty of oil in Brazil, not to mention his “green energy” investments that produce quantum-particle-like jobs (they vanish when you look for them.) The Canadians, who sit on vast fields of shale oil deposits, are all wound up, however:

Prince Al-Waleed’s comments were a rare Saudi public criticism of the West. Normally, they leave that sort of thing to their allies — professional environmental lobbyists.

There are about 100 professional anti-oilsands activists in Canada, who do nothing but attack Canada’s oil industry. Typically they pose as grassroots environmentalists. But the facts are different.

Most environmental activists are actually paid professionals. And most work for foreign lobbyists.

Greenpeace, for example, is a $200-million multinational corporation based in Europe. If they don’t raise a million bucks a day in fundraising, they’d have to shut down.

Call us stupid, but we had never considered the fact that Greenpeace’s anti-oil campaign might we funded by oil interests. Duh!

Thankfully, our media has more important stuff on its mind, like reading Sarah Palin’s old emails.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Toronto Sun

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