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Oregon spends $176 million in stimulus funds to create jobs that only last one week

Oregon spent $176 million to supplement federal stimulus funds. Democrats are taking credit for a remarkable feat: creating 3,236 new jobs in the program’s first three months. But those jobs lasted on average only 35 hours, or about one work week.

Add the three, carry the six, divide by 52. Yes, the answer is 3,000,000.
Add the three, carry the six, divide by 52. Yes, the answer is 3,000,000.

It’s been widely reported that the Obama aministration says its going to create or save 3,000,000 jobs.

Now,thanks to the Associated Press, we know how it’s going to be done:

“Oregon spent $176 million to supplement federal stimulus funds. Democrats are taking credit for a remarkable feat: creating 3,236 new jobs in the program’s first three months. But those jobs lasted on average only 35 hours, or about one work week. After that, those workers were effectively back unemployed, according to an Associated Press analysis of state spending and hiring data. By the state’s accounting, a job is a job, whether it lasts three hours, three days, three months, or a lifetime. “Sometimes some work for an individual is better than no work,” said Oregon’s Senate president, Peter Courtney.

Apparently, Obama didn’t mean he was going to create or save 3,000,000 full-time jobs, just 3,000,000 one week jobs. Or 60,000 full-time jobs.

But based on Oregon’s experience, we can’t afford those jobs. The state spent $54,388 per job over that three month period. If the program were extended out over the course of a year, each job would cost the state an average of $217,472.

This from the same band of geniuses who want to take over your healthcare.

Source: Associated Press

Cash-for-Clunkers is a poorly-disguised tax on the poor

ABC’s brilliant John Stossel explains that Cash-for-Clunkers will crush poor people along with all those clunkers since it is taking affordable used cars off the road.

Your tax dollars at work: $1,000,000,000 to destroy functioning automobiles
Your tax dollars at work: $1,000,000,000 to destroy functioning automobiles

Lawmakers love laws. They love to write ‘em, love to pass ‘em, love to amend ‘em. But the one law they seem to completely ignore is the Law of Unintended Consequences.

ABC’s brilliant John Stossel explains the unfortunate intersection of Cash-for-Clunkers and the Law of Unintended Consequences:

Another unintended consequence of the Cash for Clunkers program is that poor people who can’t afford new cars – or expensive used cars — will be crushed along with all those clunkers. If you can only afford $500 – $1,000 for a car, you’ll find many of these vehicles are now unavailable. They have been sent to the junk yard thanks to this program.

Nobel Prize for Economics, coming up.

Source: John Stossel

The White House is looking for a few good snitches

You, loyal citizen, can help the Obama administration put a stop to the lies and distortions on his healthcare plan, and return peace and order to the nation.

Is it 1984 yet
And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed—if all records told the same tale—then the lie passed into history and became truth. - George Orwell, 1984

The rightwing nuts are at it again–not content with domestic terrorism via Tea Party protests against the energy bill, a bill that could literally save the planet, but now they are spreading lies and distortions about President Obama’s healthcare program. We must be vigilant–their slander against our dear leader is increasing and their new mob tactics of confronting congressional leaders in their home districts with uncomfortable questions, is creating an unsafe environment for these public servants.

This escalating disruption cannot continue, as it could possibly derail Obamacare. You, loyal citizen, can help the administration put a stop to this, and return peace and order to the nation.

It would be wise to listen to Linda Douglass, the communications director for the White House’s Health Reform Office, as she addressed the nation on what is quickly becoming a dangerous national security issue.

“There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to [email protected].”

Ms. Douglass, we’d like to be one of the first to help you. We have heard of one trickster, a con artist, that we’d like to tell you about. Last year, he was seen traveling the country hypnotizing large crowds of people, and telling them many untruths, including ones about healthcare. There are so many, but we believe the biggest deception was his saying that the president promised “…you’ll be able to get the same kind of coverage that members of Congress give themselves.” Note that he may be in collusion with the media, since even though this lie is so outrageous, there has been no coverage of it.

We hope you can find him; he’s a master of disguise. He can pass himself off as either black or white. He may have passports for both the U.S. and Kenya. He’s been seen on extravagant dates in New York with one of the world’s most beautiful women. His wife can switch her wardrobe from J Crew to Gucci from one occasion to the next. Take heed though, that he is very dangerous when armed with a teleprompter.

If we can be of further assistance, please let us know.

Source: White House

Angry white racists gather to lynch Obama

The Huffington Post played the race card on its home page today. The huge headline “GOP Returns to ‘White Voter Strategy'” is placed over what the left seems to think is the typical white racist person

huffpo-white-voter-bordered

With President Obama plummeting in the polls, and the public’s dismal view of the ineffective stimulus package, cap-and-trade, Obamacare, Cash-for-Clunkers and the mad race toward socialism, there is only one option left for the far left:

Play the race card. And play it now.

That’s exactly what the Huffington Post did on its home page today. The huge headline “GOP Returns to ‘White Voter Strategy'” is placed over what the left seems to think is the typical white person: he’s a bearded, southern-looking man wearing a cowboy hat and a Redskins jersey. And he’s angry. So angry, in fact, that he’s pointing his finger. And Angry White Man is not alone. An entire crowd of other angry white people can be seen behind him.

Unfortunately, they are blurred so you can’t see their guns, bibles and beers. And lynchin’ ropes. You can’t see their lynchin’ ropes, either.

But we’re pretty sure the folks at the Huffington Post can see them.

Source: Huffington Post

Liberal blogger stabs girlfriend with screwdriver 222 times. And the victim wasn’t even a conservative.

Here’s a story you probably won’t read in the Huffington Post: One of its writers, Carol Burger, has been arrested for stabbing her wife with a screwdriver not once, not twice, but 222 times.

Carol Burger or as she's better known, the Huffington Post Killer
Carol Burger or as she's better known, the Huffington Post Killer

Here’s a story you probably won’t read in the Huffington Post: One of its writers has been arrested for stabbing her roommate girlfriend wife with a screwdriver not once, not twice, but 222 times.

Carol Burger covered the election for the HuffPo. Jessica Kalish, her roommate girlfriend wife, was a South Florida software executive and part-time talk show host.

Here’s how the Miami New Times reports the story:

To outsiders, it seemed they were the embodiment of contemporary domestic bliss: two smart, professional women living in an immaculate house replete with screened-in pool, a cabana bathroom, and plenty of room for their two adopted racing greyhounds. Soon, though, all of South Florida learned the unsettling truth.

The tragic tale continues:

Most of the screwdriver blows landed on Jessica’s neck and on the back of her head, perhaps directed at her new haircut. All told, there were 222 stab wounds. The lacerations were, on average, an inch to an inch-and-a-half deep, and most were shaped like the tiny plus sign on the tip of a Phillips-head screwdriver. The fatal strike was likely a blow to the spinal cord. The struggle — and subsequent overkill — probably lasted about 20 minutes.

To repeat, 222 stab wounds delivered over a 20-minute period.

And yet we wouldn’t be surprised if the defense attorneys portray it as self-defense. We wouldn’t be surprised if the left mounts “Free Burger” rallies. And we wouldn’t be surprised if Gloria Allred finds the TV cameras to announce that Burger is only being charged because she’s a woman.

There are two valuable lessons to be learned from this story:

One – Don’t piss off any writers at the Huffington Post.

Two – When phillips head screwdrivers are outlawed, only outlaws will have phillips head screwdrivers.

Source: Miami New Times

New York Times sets new world record for most errors in one story

America’s so-called “newspaper of record” must have set a record with this correction to a recent article on Walter Cronkite

new-york-times-building

America’s so-called “newspaper of record” must have set a record with this correction to a recent article on Walter Cronkite:

“An appraisal on Saturday about Walter Cronkite’s career included a number of errors. In some copies, it misstated the date that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was killed and referred incorrectly to Mr. Cronkite’s coverage of D-Day. Dr. King was killed on April 4, 1968, not April 30. Mr. Cronkite covered the D-Day landing from a warplane; he did not storm the beaches. In addition, Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon on July 20, 1969, not July 26. ‘The CBS Evening News’ overtook ‘The Huntley-Brinkley Report’ on NBC in the ratings during the 1967-68 television season, not after Chet Huntley retired in 1970. A communications satellite used to relay correspondents’ reports from around the world was Telstar, not Telestar. Howard K. Smith was not one of the CBS correspondents Mr. Cronkite would turn to for reports from the field after he became anchor of ‘The CBS Evening News’ in 1962; he left CBS before Mr. Cronkite was the anchor. Because of an editing error, the appraisal also misstated the name of the news agency for which Mr. Cronkite was Moscow bureau chief after World War II. At that time it was United Press, not United Press International.”

It would be funny if it weren’t so pathetic.

Nah, it’s funny.

Source: New York Times via Powerline

Guilty as charged: Cambridge Police Department profiled Barack Obama while he was at Harvard

It’s no wonder Barack Obama thought the Cambridge police had profiled Professor Henry Louis Gates. He has had personal experience with the ugly brute force of their racism.

Oh, how we long for the moment when time expires on this administration
Oh, how we long for the moment when time expires on this administration

It’s no wonder Barack Obama thought the Cambridge police had profiled Professor Henry Louis Gates. He has had personal experience with the ugly brute force of their racism.

The fascist, racists in the Cambridge Police Department unfairly targeted the oppressed young black man who is now President of the United States with unwarranted parking ticket after unwarranted parking ticket while he was student at Harvard Law School between 1989-1991.

In a brave attempt to protest the police department’s blatantly racist policies, Obama left Cambridge without paying for 17 of those tickets.

OK, that’s how some leftwing blogs might report this story, but here’s the truth:

President Obama is a deadbeat. He skipped town without paying for 17 parking tickets. They sat unpaid for 20 years – until two weeks before he announced his bid for the presidency – when he finally ponied up the money he owed the city of Cambridge. The violations included parking in a bus stop and parking without a proper permit.

“In other words,” John LeBoutillier said at NewsMax.com, “as a practicing lawyer in Chicago, he allowed these tickets and penalties to remain unpaid; as an Illinois state senator he allowed these tickets and fines to remain unpaid; and as a United States senator he allowed these almost-two-decade-old signs of his disdain for the law to remain unpaid.”

Do as he says, peasant, not as he does.

Source: WND.com

Paul McCartney dedicates ‘Michelle’ to first lady, overlooks far more appropriate Beatles songs

Paul McCartney dedicated the song “Michelle” to Michelle Obama. He picked the wrong song. Here are some more appropriate choices, including Back in the USSR.

Sir Paul McCartney was performing at FedEx Field in Washington, DC last weekend. Since he was just down the road from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the former Beatle paid tribute to Michelle Obama by dedicating his classic song “Michelle” to the first lady.

The song’s lyrics say “I love you, I love you, I love you / That’s all I want to say.” But keep in mind that this is the same aged rocker who married an alleged peg-legged former prostitute (the peg-legged part is confirmed, but the former prostitute part is only alleged).

Nevertheless, we think Paul’s LSD usage in the 60s is starting to catch up with him. He obviously dedicated the wrong song to Michelle. There were just so many others that were far more appropriate.

Sit back and click and enjoy the Beatles songs that should have been dedicated to our First Socialist Lady.

Baby, You’re A Rich Man (You make over $75,000 per year so Michelle and her husband want their share. Plus a surtax.)

Chains (The Beatles called them “Chains of Love,” but we’d call them “Chains of Socialism”)

Devil In Her Heart (Can’t help but agree with the title)

Hello, Goodbye (We don’t agree about anything)

Helter Skelter (Yes, the world is going insane and your husband in running the asylum)

Hey, Bulldog (Michelle’s one of the most beautiful people in the world? C’mon. Seriously?)

I Me Mine (The Obama administration seems to think that there is no I, me or mine. It’s all theirs)

I’m Down (C’mon, Michelle, how can you laugh when you know I’m down?)

Misery (Alphabetically just one Beatles tune away from “Michelle.” This may have been the one McCartney meant to dedicate to the First Lady)

Money, That’s What I Want (Unfortunately, Michelle, your husband also wants our money)

Piggies (The men in white starched shirts want to take everything we have)

Revolution #9 (We don’t want your husband’s socialist revolution, Michelle)

Slow Down (Why does everything have to be done NOW?)

Taxman (You’re married to the Taxman-In-Chief, Michelle)

The Fool on the Hill (Or, perhaps, the Fool On Capitol Hill)

You Can’t Do That (Cap and trade? New taxes? Socialized medicine? You can’t do that.)

You Never Gave Me Your Money (But you want to take all of ours, don’t you?)

Source: Politico.com

Janeane Garofalo: She’s everything we’ve ever wanted in a girl

Janeane Garofalo demonstrated her delightfulness in a recent interview with the Guardian UK. Please be warned, however, that she uses some delightfully obscene language.

Who could blame us for falling in love with the future Mrs. IHateTheMedia.com
Who could blame us for falling in love with the future Mrs. IHateTheMedia.com

What’s not to love about Janeane Garofalo? She’s delightful. She’s covered with delightful tattoos. And she has a delightful disposition. She is, in a word, delightful.

She demonstrated her delightfulness in a recent interview with the Guardian UK. Please be warned, however, that she uses some delightfully obscene language.

Her delightful thoughts about getting her head blown off in “Team America: World Police”:

“I didn’t like that at all,” says the actor and comedian. “I didn’t see it, but I know about it. The only upside to it was I was given far more credit for being famous that I’ve ever been given in my life.” … “What am I getting my head blown off for? For speaking out against an immoral, illegal and unjustified invasion and occupation? What they did was cowardly. To try and get yourself off the hook by saying we’re equal-opportunity offenders, it doesn’t mean shit to me.”

Her delightful thoughts on tea parties:

“Fucking redneck douchebaggery. Unmitigated douchebaggery. Why are they holding signs that say, ‘Whatchoo talking about, Willis?’ These people are called ‘racially sensitive’, what they should be called is racist, backward motherfuckers.”

Her delightful thoughts on Fox News:

“They only book people who are easy to mock and marginalise. I kind of thought, ‘Someone’s got to do it.’ But talking to those assholes is a drag. It’s a drag meeting the same assholes from high school when you’re 40.”

Her delightful thoughts on “24″:

“Initially when I was asked to do the show I had reservations about it because of the politics. And I thought further and realised, I don’t have a job. So I put my reservations on the back burner. And I did enjoy working there, it was one of the most enjoyable jobs I’ve had.” There was nothing that made you go, ‘Whoa there’? “Besides all the torture? Sure, that made me go, ‘Whoa there.’ Luckily they allowed my character to voice her distaste for the violation of the constitution, but then they’d have Jack yell at her.” Garofalo isn’t bitter about it, but doesn’t think she’ll go back. “Objectively speaking, I don’t think my character served any purpose. I don’t think they needed Janis Gold.”

Who wouldn’t fall in love with this delightful girl.

Janeane, would you please do us the honor of marrying us?

Source: Guardian UK

Iowa woman selling her televisions to avoid Obama

Deloris Nissen, a retired nurses’ aide, is selling her two TVs in an attempt to avoid Barack Obama. Nissen said she is disgusted with the president’s constant presence on TV.

One need not sell one

Deloris Nissen, a retired nurses’ aide, is selling her two TVs in an attempt to avoid Barack Obama. She offered the televisions in a $5.50 classified ad that ran in Iowa’s Daily Times Herald.

Nissen said she is disgusted with the president’s constant presence on TV.

“It’s Obama on every channel and station. I just got tired of watching him on every channel,” she complained. “I thought, my gosh, does he ever stay at the White House?”



Nissen said she quickly turns the channel when Obama pops up on any program she happens to be watching.

“I have the remote real handy,” Nissen admitted. “I have the batteries. I’m ready for him.”

We wish you well, Deloris, but it won’t be that easy. Time Magazine just announced on Thursday that Obama will be on its cover for the 12th time in the last year.

Kim Jong-Il is less omnipresent in North Korea.

Source: Daily Times Herald

ObamaCare 2009 versus Soylent Green 1973

Is it just us or is the plotline for ObamaCare starting to sound a lot like the plotline of Soylent Green? Medicare will be cut. Medicaid will be cut. End of life care will be denied. Bodies of the elderly will begin piling up and the government will have to figure out how to get rid of them.

Remember Soylent Green? It was a 1973 science fiction movie set in a future, fascist, overpopulated world.

“Soylent Green” was a food product provided by the government to its starving citizens. Police detective Charlton Heston discovered that people were mysteriously disappearing and attempted to find out why. In the end, as shown in this clip, he revealed the horrible secret of Soylent Green as he was being taken away by authorities.

Is it just us or is the plotline for ObamaCare starting to sound a lot like the plotline of Soylent Green? Medicare will be cut. Medicaid will be cut. End of life care will be denied. Bodies of the elderly will begin piling up and the government will have to figure out how to get rid of them.

Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, brother of White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, wants doctors to look beyond the needs of their patients and consider social justice, such as whether the money could be better spent on somebody else.

Emanuel thinks doctors’ decisions on who gets care should be based on “communitarianism.” Medical care, he said in a Hastings Center Report in 1996, should be reserved for the non-disabled and kept from those “who are irreversibly prevented from being or becoming participating citizens … An obvious example is not guaranteeing health services to patients with dementia.”

What’s the difference between Soylent Green and ObamaCare?

Soylent Green is people, but ObamaCare is anti-people.

Source: New York Post

Congressman Paul Ryan bitch slaps MSNBC hosts in healthcare debate

Republican Congressman Paul Ryan schooling two MSNBC hosts about ObamaCare. It’s not just that they’re ignorant, it’s that they’re proudly ignorant.

This is a thing of beauty – Republican Congressman Paul Ryan schooling two MSNBC hosts about ObamaCare. It’s not just that they’re ignorant, it’s that they’re proudly ignorant. If you want to skip ahead to minute 03:28, it really gets good when Katrina Vanden Heuvel joins the discussion to demonstrate her complete ignorance.

Katrina Vanden Heuvel: You have good government-plan health care. Why shouldnt all Americans have what you have?

Congressman Paul Ryan: I have good private-sector healthcare. We do not have a public option. The federal employee plan lists a number of private plans to choose from to select and my employer, the taxpayer, pays for a portion of these private plans. There is no public plan option in the Federal Employee Health Benefits Program. You are mistaken on that point. My Patients Choice Act that I’ve introduced with Congressman Nunes, Senators Burr and Coburn actually proposes just what youre suggesting: give people the ability, in State-based exchanges, to have a plan just like what we have here in Congress. A private health care plan that’s actuarially equivalent to what we in Congress have. We actually had a vote in the House Ways and Means Committee on an amendment I offered with Congressman Dean Heller which said, “Let’s put members of Congress in this public health care plan so that we can experience the same thing we want to impose on the rest of the country.” You know what? That amendment failed on nearly a party-line vote.

Katrina Vanden Heuvel: Competition is at the heart of America. To deny Americans competition by denying them the option of a public plan seems to me to be un-American.

Congressman Paul Ryan: What’s weird about that line right there, Katrina, is that I know you and others are very much in favor of a single-payer plan, which is obviously to deny competition and have the government run it all. What’s concerning about this debate with me is that you’re using capitalist rhetoric to try and move a plan that is inherently anti-market. The problem is that the facts tell us this: A public plan option quickly becomes a government-run monopoly. The actuaries are telling us is that in a few short years, the public plan option displaces the private sector, employers dump their employees on the public plan and then they have no choices but the public plan. And so, let’s not try to sell a government-run plan using free market rhetoric. Let’s have an honest debate about what this bill is all about.

Honest debate on MSNBC? Get serious, Congressman Paul Ryan.

Most Masculine President In History drinks beer like he’s at an English tea party

What’s with President Obama’s dainty fingertip grip on his beer, his little finger extended as if in parody of the rules of etiquette at an English tea party? It’s not something he did once. It’s something he does every time he downs a cold one.

obama_beer4

This is something we’ve wondered about for months and haven’t mentioned. But it seems appropriate to bring it up in light of the President’s vitally important beer diplomacy at the White House today.

What’s with President Obama’s dainty fingertip grip on his beer, his little finger extended as if in parody of the rules of etiquette at an English tea party? It’s not something he did once. It’s something he does every time he downs a cold one.

We’re not saying this is a big deal, so our liberal readers should relax. But is this any way for the Most Masculine President in History to grab a brewski?

obama-beer-1obama-beer-2Obama drinks beer like he's at an English Tea Party 3

Bill O’Reilly has a little trouble with the concept of math

Bill O’Reilly is the most pompous man on TV. This clip proves that he can sound completely authoritative even when he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about.

We want to like O’Reilly. We really do. But he is the most pompous man on TV. This clip proves that he can sound completely authoritative even when he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about.

1500 articles and counting

Allow us to bask in a self-congratulatory moment of bliss and exhaustion. As we were publishing articles this morning, we realized that Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate discovered at Honolulu garage sale was post number 1500.

Barack Obama congratulates IHateTheMedia.com. Come on Mr. President, where\'s that other thumb?
Barack Obama congratulates IHateTheMedia.com. Come on Mr. President, where's that other thumb?

Allow us to bask in a self-congratulatory moment of bliss and exhaustion. As we were publishing articles this morning, we realized that Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate discovered at Honolulu garage sale was post number 1500. Whew. We can’t believe it. Hell, if we would have known we’d be writing this much we may never had begun this crazy site seven months ago.

But we’re glad we did. And we’ve been lucky to have seen so such success so quickly. Without boring you with all the technical achievements the site has enjoyed, we do wish to express our heartfelt thanks for your patronage. Many thousands to tens of thousands of readers are now stopping by each day, and our Twitter influence (@ihatethemedia) has grown to where we are now the 79th Most Interesting (of 7361) in the Top Conservatives on Twitter (TCOT).

Embarking now on the second half of our first year, we’d like to open up the pages to more of you who would like to write. You can read this page for more information. You already know the mission: quick, funny observations on the day’s news. We want commentaries and analysis that make the mundane interesting, that make the boring amusing, and that look at the world of liberal media bias through a conservative lens.

We’d also like to expand into more “caught on tape” videos and audio. If you’ve got a mobile device with a videocamera or audio recorder, and some guts, well, go get ‘em. Infiltrate Obamanut meetings, corner a politician on the street and ask him a pointed question, interview leftist protesters and allow them to show off their brilliance. Have some fun and adventure with it. If you’ve got something good, we’ll put it on the IHateTheMedia Youtube channel, and play it here on the site as well. You’ll be a famous citizen reporter in no time.

So if you’d like to help, see our Write for Us page; send us a note about anything through our contact form, and give us your feedback in the comments of this article. And if you are a seething humorless liberal reading this, please go to our Hate Mail page; we made it just for you.

Again, thanks for your support and friendship. We look forward to the next 1500 articles. Hopefully some of them will be yours.

Democrats risk alienating their base, propose tax on plastic surgery

ugly democrat women

The party that traditionally clings to power based on the votes of unattractive women is risking it all by proposing a tax on plastic surgery. Now that they’ve taxed everything else, they want to tax ugliness.

The Senate Finance Committee wants to tack a 10% excise tax on ”unnecessary” cosmetic surgery. Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus said it was one of the “interesting,” “creative,” and “kind of fun” ideas that had been discussed.

(Please continue with this story after pausing briefly to consider the fact that Democrats think taxes are “kind of fun.”)

The tax would target itemized deductions for medical expenses not covered by health insurance. According to current law, cosmetic surgery defined as “any procedure which is directed at improving the patient’s appearance and does not meaningfully promote the proper function of the body or prevent or treat illness or disease.”

Deductions for procedures such as lasik eye surgery or reconstructive surgery would still be legit. But elective procedures like nose jobs, liposuction, teeth-whitening and Botox injections would be slapped with the new tax.

Let’s call this proposal what it is: the Ugly American Revenue Enhancement Act of 2009.

Source: NationalJournal.com

Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate discovered at Honolulu garage sale

Barack Obama’s birth certificate recently was recently discovered and purchased for 25¢ at a garage sale held in the front yard of the apartment building across the street from Honolulu’s Punahou School where Obama lived with his grandparents.

It is now official: Barack Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, United States.

His original birth certificate recently was recently discovered and purchased for 25¢ at a garage sale held in the front yard of the apartment building across the street from Honolulu’s Punahou School where Obama lived with his grandparents. It’s like when you watch Antique Roadshow and hear one of those stories about someone finding a Picasso in his aunt’s attic.

The current residents of the apartment found the official birth certificate behind the refrigerator, where it has obviously been been sitting lost all those years since Obama’s family lived in the apartment.

We sincerely hope this puts an end to those crazy, groundless birther conspiracy theories.

obama-birth-certificate

Global Warming Update
Week 8 of hurricane season: Still no hurricanes, Gore still full of crap

Global Warming Update: Week 8 of hurricane season 2009: Still no hurricanes, Al Gore still full of crap

hurricane-seasosn-2

Same ol’, same ol’. No tropical depressions, no tropical storms, no hurricanes.

In the record-setting year of 2005, we had already had seven storms by this date. In the remarkably quiet year of 2006, we’d had two. In the average year of 2007, we’d had two. And in the average year of 2008, we’d had four.

The more bored you get with this repetitive report, the more panic stricken Al Gore gets.

Yawn. Wake us up when there’s a hurricane in 2009.

Source: National Hurricane Center

The Man in Black explains the latest presidential tracking poll

The Barack Obama love that once burned with such red hot passion has cooled and the poll numbers are now plunging down, down, down. Presidential Approval Index rating of -11.

Ahhhh, the love affair is over. The love that once burned with such red hot passion has cooled and the poll numbers are now plunging down, down, down. Johnny Cash explains the results of the latest Rasmussen poll:

Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring,
Bound by wild desire,
I fell into a ring of fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire,
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire,
The ring of fire

And now here’s how Rasmussen explains what has happened to The Greatest President In History in more traditional terms:

The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Sunday shows that only 29% of the nation’s voters now Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Forty percent (40%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -11. That’s the first time his ratings have reached double digits in negative territory
.
These updates are based upon nightly telephone interviews and reported on a three-day rolling average basis. Today is the first update based entirely upon interviews conducted after the President’s prime time televised press conference. The number who Strongly Approve of the President has remained unchanged since the press conference but the number who Strongly Disapprove has gone up by five percentage points (from 35% on Wednesday morning to 40% today).

The Presidential Approval Index is calculated by subtracting the number who Strongly Disapprove from the number who Strongly Approve.

He’s going down, down, down and the flames go higher.

Sure glad we got that dangerous religious zealot out of the White House. Wait. Not so fast.

Barack Obama talks to God for inspiration. He’s a religious fanatic. He’s worse than the Taliban. He’s turning the country over to dangerous religious elements.

The left has undergone a miraculous religious conversion since Barack Obama was inaugurated. Suddenly, it’s good again to be overtly religious.

Comments that would have driven the left to bemoan the blurring of the separation of church and state had Bush made them are now seen as proof of Obama’s humanity and humility.

Consider this exchange on Thursday’s Nightline:

Terry Moran: Last question. As you know, there’s a lot of curiosity about you and what you do and what you wear and all these things and where you worship. If I may ask, how have the responsibilities of the presidency affected your spiritual life, if at all.

Obama: Well, I had a habit of praying every night before I got to bed. I pray all the time now (laughs) because I have a lot of stuff on my plate and I need guidance all the time. We haven’t selected a permanent church home in DC….my Faith and Neighborhood Initiatives Director Joshua DeBois, he has a devotional that he sends to me on my Blackberry every day. That’s how I start my morning. It’s got a passage, a scripture, in some cases quotes from other faiths to reflect on. So look, when you’re in this job, I think every President who’s had it is constantly humbled by the degree to which there are a lot of issues out there and the notion that one person alone can solve all these problems…I think you’re cured of that illusion very quickly. You just hope that you’re aligning your work with His purposes and that you’re attuned to the needs of the people that you’re there to serve.

Good Lord (you’ll pardon he expression), the man talks to God for inspiration. He’s a religious fanatic. He’s worse than the Taliban. He’s turning the country over to dangerous religious elements.

Confused about what role religion should play in a president’s life? Keep the rule of thumb in mind:

Republican president prays, bad. Democrat president prays, good.

This is awkward: Lesbian “Person of the Year” goes straight, has baby

Back in 2005, a leading gay publication called The Advocate named Kerry Pacer its “Person of the Year.” She has gone straight and had a baby.

Kerry Pacer, former lesbian and current non-lesbian appears to be channeling actress Anne Heche
Kerry Pacer, former lesbian and current non-lesbian appears to be channeling actress Anne Heche

Now this is what you call an inconvenient truth. A very inconvenient truth.

Back in 2005, a leading gay publication called The Advocate named Kerry Pacer its “Person of the Year.”

Pacer, who was just 17 at the time, was featured on the cover of the magazine’s December issue. She was awarded the prestigious honor for her valiant struggle for a “gay-straight alliance” while she attended White County High School in Cleveland, Georgia.

Sad to say, Pacer has now discovered she’s straight. The Washington Blade, another gay publication, reports:

“…today she lives with her boyfriend, a construction worker, and their baby daughter, Marley, who turns 1 year old on Saturday.

“Well, she’s the most beautiful blue-eyed girl in the world and everybody tells me that so I’m not just being biased, I swear,” Pacer said with a laugh.

“I love every minute of motherhood. It’s been a very big challenge, however I love it. I’ve just been trying to work and go to school and take care of my family,” she said.

Oh, those crazy kids. You just never know what they’re going to do next. Nor who.

Source: NewsBusters.org

Sonia Sotomayor versus Paula Abdul: The remarkable tale of two judges

We have two remarkably talented American women, Sonia Sotomayor and Paula Abdul, are simultaneously being considered for important positions as judges.

Sonia Sotomayor Paula Abdul

We find ourselves at the point in American history where two remarkably talented American women are simultaneously being considered for important positions as judges.

We speak, of course, of Sonia Sotomayor and Paula Abdul.

Unbeknownst to most Americans, the similarities between these two women are amazing. Far more amazing than those Lincoln-Kennedy comparisons that make the rounds every few years. For example:

  • Their first names both contain five letters.
  • They were both born in June (Paula on June 19, Sonia on June 25).
  • Both are the children of immigrants. Paula’s father was Syrian and her mother was Canadian. Sonia’s parents were Puerto Rican.
  • Paula will soon find out if she will continue judging American Idol, the top-rated TV program in the United States. Sonia will soon find out if she will sit on the top court in the United States.
  • Paula always admired the Supremes, while Sonia always admired the Supreme Court.
  • Paula choreographed the Laker Girls and Sonia’s appearance before the Senate Judicial Committee was completely choreographed.
  • Both pursued their careers after being inspired by Hollywood. Paula’s hero was Gene Kelly, while Sonia’s hero was Hamilton Burger.
  • Paula is known for dancing while American Idol contestants perform, while Sonia is known for dancing around the Constitution.
  • Paula is known for making irrational statements while announcing her decisions, while Sonia is known for irrational statements in her written decisions.
  • Paula is often overruled by Randy and Simon, while Sonia is often overruled by the Supreme Court.
  • Paula has been accused of screwing one of the contestants she was expect to judge, while Sonia has been accused of screwing over those she was expected to judge.
  • Paula was a cheerleader in high school, while Sonia has been a cheerleader for a radical Puerto Rican group.
  • Paula had been forgotten by the American public until she began appearing on the TV show American Idol, while Sonia was unknown by the American people until she appeared on television during her Senate confirmation hearings.
  • Paula expects a raise to $20 million for being an American Idol judge, while Sonia expects a raise to $208,100 for sitting on the Supreme Court.

What are the odds?

Does an illegal alien deserve “free” medical coverage your mother can’t get?

That’s what ObamaCare means. A 20-year old Illegal alien and his family will be covered, but your elderly mother might not be. What has happened to America?

That’s what ObamaCare means. A 20-year old Illegal alien and his family will be covered, but your elderly mother might not be. What has happened to America?

Source: Newsmax.com

Obama sees the future of healthcare, says “The stars are aligned and we need to take advantage of it.”

Swami-in-Chief Barack Obama used the stars to look into the future during Wednesday night’s press conference. Here is your Obamacare horoscope.

The Swami Obama sees all, knows all, taxes all
The Swami Obama sees all, knows all, taxes all

Swami-in-Chief Barack Obama used the stars to look into the future during Wednesday night’s press conference. He sees all, he knows all, he taxes all who make over $250,000.

The moon is in the seventh house. Jupiter’s aligned with Mars. So this is as good a time as any to peer into your future under ObamaCare as divined by the stars.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Say good-bye to your family. You will soon catch Swine Flu. Although the government is preparing 190 million doses of vaccine, you will not be able to get one.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Be prepared for disappointment. Your primary care physician will ask you to get an MRI, but an ObamaCare bureaucrat will overrule him.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)
While some people say ObamaCare will kill capitalism, others think it will kill patients. As a Gemini, you will be able to see both sides of the issue.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)
A new child will soon enter your life. Despite the fact that it’s not your child, you will pay for its healthcare for the rest of your life.

Leo (July 23-August 22)
You will have a moment of clarity today when you ask yourself, “If ObamaCare is so good, why aren’t Congressmen demanding it for themselves?”

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
You will suffer from a sinus infection, but your doctor will insist on removing your tonsils.

Libra (September 23-October 22)
Travel is in your future. You will take a trip to Mexico in a desperate attempt to find a doctor.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You are a born worrier and are prone to stress and tension. With good reason.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Congratulations! The doctor will see you now. You will reach the top of the waiting list and your turn for medical care will finally arrive.

Capricorn December 22-January 19
Eat better, exercise, relax, stop smoking and soon you’ll be glowing with health. It will make no difference because ObamaCare will tax you to death.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
Take plenty of vitamins and minerals. You’ll feel better than ever after the 2012 election.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Keep a positive attitude and remember that you’re no more depressed than the rest of us.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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