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MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell run over by steamroller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAytq2Dh_SwOuch. Norah O’Donnell never saw it coming. It’s been hours now and she’s probably still woozy after the figurative beating she took from documentary maker John Ziegler.

Ziegler’s out promoting “Media Malpractice,” his new documentary, by making the rounds of all the news and talk shows. Today was MSNBC’s turn.

Based on the smug smile on O’Donnell’s face when the interview started, she though Ziegler was going to be easy pickings. She was wrong.

The former talk show host immediately went on the attack. He repeatedly and pointedly made her look like the empty-headed news babe she is (and by the way, politics aside, Norah O’Donnell is a babe).

Ziegler clearly enjoyed every moment of this interview. Norah, not so much.

For the Media Malpractice documentary, go here.

Anyone know a good internet dating site for a guy accused of cutting off his wife’s head?

Buffalo Beheading story above with ironic Muslim Matrimony ad next to it. Click image to see full size, full screen.

About ten days ago, an ad for “Muslim matrimonials” appeared right next to our story about the Muslim TV executive who beheaded his wife. You can see the hilarious juxtaposition on the screen capture above. Click the image or here for a full size, full screen image.

At first we thought our internet advertising provider had merely misinterpreted the context of the key words in the story — Muslim, husband, wife – and placed the ad there by mistake. But we’ve changed our minds. Because these are the smartest companies in the world, damn it, and they don’t make mistakes.

We’ve been deeply touched by this heartfelt effort to help Muzzammil Hassan find love again.

We hope he can find a life with a new woman. Or 25 to life. Whichever comes first.

Story of Buffalo beheading has no legs

Three days ago in Buffalo, NY, Muzzammil Hassan sawed the head off his wife Aasiya Hassan — we’re going to say it — Islamofascist-style in a gift to the press that’s normally insatiable for this type of story. Ironically, Mr. Hassan is the founder of Bridges TV network, formed to improve the image of Muslim-Americans in the U.S. So where’s the story?

Conservative commentators knew there would be just token press, and they were proven right. If it were a Christian (or any non-media-protected group), it would have been all over television and print media. But, just three days out, and we see that not only does the poor wife no longer have a head, but the story has no legs. Continue reading “Story of Buffalo beheading has no legs”

Now that’s what we call a stimulus package

Sometimes we love the media
Sometimes we love the media

The 23-year-old Israeli-born model Bar Refaeli was allegedly slated for last year’s Sports Illustrated cover, but was dropped and replaced by Marisa Miller when Bar couldn’t keep the good news to herself. As Page Six reports: “It’s very secretive, and the magazine likes to keep people guessing.”

Boyfriend and overpaid actor Leonardo DiCaprio has been pushing hard to get his squeeze on the cover. But judging from the photos and video, his effort was unnecessary.

Obama’s stimulus plan has been criticized for not taking effect fast enough. After the obligatory research the IHTM staff must rigorously and dutifully perform, we can report with certainly that the Bar Refaeli package provides instantaneous stimulation.

Matthews: I love to think with him

Not since Chris Mathews told us of the tingling sensation he gets up his leg when he hears Obama speak, has he shown off his Obama mancrush with such affection and enchantment as he did last night. If only he’d held back until this Saturday, Valentines Day, it would have been perfect.

During a special edition of Countdown, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews poured his heart out to Barack. He said that he was “very impressed with [Obama’s] amazing ability,” and told us that his guy was “at his best intellectually.” But, he really showed his affection with this comment: “What a mind he has, and I love his ability to do it on television. I love to think with him.”

Making sure not to leave out anyone else in his circle of friends, he added, “I think our breed looked pretty good tonight. I think the press looked very good tonight. I think they asked great questions. I loved, I would be very impressed with the press tonight.”

Love isn’t just in the air, it’s on the air.

You, too, can write for IHateTheMedia.com

Want to write a story for IHateTheMedia.com? It’s really simple. Just fill in the blanks in the following story.

“It was with deep regret today that President Obama’s nominee for (fill in the blank) withdrew (his/her) name from consideration for (fill in the job). “The fact that (fill in name) didn’t pay (his/her) taxes was a simple mistake anyone could have made,” said President Obama. “I regret that (fill in name) fell victim to partisan politics.”

(Fill in the blank with a side-splitting, hilarious, smartass comment).”

To be completely impartial, it’s equally easy to write for most of the media. In fact, it’s even easier because there are fewer blanks to fill in. For example, see the following story.

“It was with deep regret today that President Obama’s nominee for (fill in the blank) withdrew (his/her) nomination today for (fill in the job). “The fact that (fill in name) didn’t pay (his/her) taxes was a simple mistake anyone could have made,” said President Obama. “I regret that (fill in name) fell victim to partisan politics.”

(Fill in this blank with a completely sympathetic statement about the president and, if possible, say something derogatory about conservatives).”

And you thought being a journalist was a tough job.

Cher says Republicans almost killed her. Can’t they do anything right?

We’ve heard for years that Republicans don’t have that killer instinct. Apparently, it’s true. Multiple plastic surgery survivor Cher says that living under Republican rule almost killed her.

And she was just getting started. She also said she can’t fathom why anyone wants to be a Republican and that President Obama’s “intelligence” and “spirit” is “so great” he will accomplish “more than anyone could possibly do.”

When asked to explain her comment that Republicans almost “killed” her, the diva was a tad hazy on details.

“My face has been stretched so tight I can barely open my lips,” she may as well have said, “but that doesn’t stop me from saying really stupid things.”

That Obama’s one bad muthah%$#*&

obama_brother_potIn Dreams From My Father, Barack Obama’s autobiography, he talks about a high school buddy named Ray.

Turns out Ray used, shall we say, colorful language. In the audiobook edition, our Commander In Chief quotes Ray. Verbatim. With words we haven’t heard since Richard Nixon’s Watergate tapes.

Excerpts from the book are making the rounds of the internet. And it’s funnier than #*$%& to hear Obama saying them out of context.

Have a listen. But be warned. They are Malcolm X-rated.

Play: That guy
G-Rated Translation: “That chap is nothing special. He’s unimportant.”

Play: Too complicated
G-Rated Translation: “I’m confused by the complexity of the situation.”

Play: White folks
G-Rated Translation: “Some caucasians are uneducated.”

Play: You ain’t
G-Rated Translation: “Let’s go Dutch treat.”

Play: My number
G-Rated Translation: “Let’s meet up at the malt shop after school.”

Play: Chicks
G-Rated Translation: “Golly, I think those young ladies may like us.”

Fellow media haters, we don’t ask for much, but could ya click on the Digg icon for this one so we can get it passed around the net? It’s just too funny to let others miss!

Pelosi: “Every month…500,000,000 Americans lose their jobs”

Here’s another one to add to the “Best of Nancy Pelosi” reel. Nancy “The Genius” Pelosi says that every month we don’t pass the economic stimulus bill, another 500 million Americans lose their jobs.

She must be including illegal aliens.

Why tax-dodgin’ Tom Daschle needs a limo and chauffeur

Suddenly, we feel bad for tax-dodgin’ Tom Daschle. Maybe we should all just cut him a little slack.

We just learned that he was such a dedicated public servant during his days in Washington, DC that he drove an old junker instead of buying a new car. Here’s one of his old campaign commercials to prove what a hard-working, stand-up guy he was is.

“Maybe he’s sentimental,” the voiceover intones, “Or just cheap. Whatever the case, isn’t it too bad that Washington doesn’t understand that a penny saved is a penny earned?”

We can all learn a lesson from Tom Daschle: Your money goes much further when you don’t pay a penny in taxes.

Watch the commercial. Laugh at it knowing that this pompous ass has finally been exposed.

Neil Young to release worst album in history of music

You won’t get much of an argument from anyone if you say Neil Young is the worst singer in the history of rock ‘n roll.

Yet despite this seemingly insurmountable handicap, he’s managed to produce a couple pretty good songs over the years.

But now the aging rocker is about to release a CD completely dedicated to songs about electric cars. That’s not a typo. Electric cars. “Fork in the Road” includes catchy titles like “Cough Up the Bucks,” “Hit the Road,” “Get Around” and “Fuel Line.”

Here’s a video of the title track. Consider yourself warned.

You’ve been screwed by Barney Frank. And we have it all on video.

If you’re anything like us, you’ve probably wondered if there’s something network TV news hasn’t been telling us about the financial crisis. Like what really caused it. And who really caused it. CBS hasn’t told the whole story. Neither have ABC, NBC, CNN, nor MSNBC.

Luckily, we have Fox News. Here’s a tremendous video timeline put together by Fox News that shows exactly who did what to whom and when.

This video strips Barney Frank bare and exposes him to the world. (We sincerely apologize for the hideous images that sentence brings to mind.)

Jimmy Carter has hot Hollywood groupie. Seriously. For real. We’re not kidding.

Consider this proof positive that Hollywood is on another planet. Actress Rene Zellweger, star of Jerry Maguire, has a crush on the worst president of the 20th century.

“I have a crush on Jimmy Carter,” Zellweger confesses. “I admit it. He has an extraordinary mind. He’s an exceptional human being. And he writes poetry, for crying out loud. He’s all good things.” Hell, she said everything except, “He had me at ‘malaise.’”

The delusional Zellweger claims she stood in line for more than two hours in bitterly cold Manhattan weather to have the former peanut farmer sign his latest book.

We’re pretty smart operators here at IHateTheMedia.com. So we quickly spotted the obvious flaw in this Hollywood story. No, not the part about the beautiful young actress being hot for a senile, shriveled old man. That’s par for the course in Hollywood.

What we don’t buy is the idea that enough people wanted this book to form a line 2-1/2 hours long.

Rachel Maddow thinks snow in Dubai caused by global warming

The skier siting next to Rachel Maddow on the ski lift in the Duabi snow park reports she told him, "See, see! Global warming even works indoors."
The skier siting next to Rachel Maddow on the ski lift in the Duabi snow park reports she told him, "See, global warming even effects the indoors."

Here at I Hate The Media, we’re pretty well known for our sensitivity. So we want to make sure we say this delicately, so as not to offend.

Aw, the hell with it.

Rachel Maddow is out of her mind. It snowed in Dubai this week and the queen of MSNBC blamed it on global warming.

“Some big global warming news today. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton named a special envoy today for climate change…And if that’s not big enough news on climate change, how about this. It snowed in Dubai. Yeah, in the United Arab Emirates. And it’s not the fake, fluffy stuff they make for an indoor ski resort neither. These were big, chunky snowflakes falling on a mountain in the United Arab Emirates for only the second time in recorded history. The occurrence this weekend was so rare that local residents say they do not have a word for snow in their local dialect.”

Our correspondent in Abu Dhabi, which is right next door to Dubai, reports that local residents do have words for “Nuttier than a fruitcake.”

Weather Channel founder says global warming “greatest scam in history”

Weather Channel van experiencing global warming first hand in Times Square. Photo by Flickr's condour
Weather Channel van experiencing global warming first hand in Times Square. Photo by Flickr's condour

John Coleman, founder of the Weather Channel says global warming is a “hoax” and “bad science” and that Al Gore refuses to admit his cause is based on bad research.

“I am totally convinced there is no scientific basis for any of it,” Coleman said. “Global Warming. It is the hoax. It is bad science. It is a high-jacking of public policy. It is no joke. It is the greatest scam in history.”

Al Gore reportedly responding by saying, “The Weather Channel? Hah. Everyone knows you can’t trust a TV weatherman.”

Brilliant anti-abortion commercial banned by NBC

Here at I Hate The Media, we know a thing or two about advertising. Like, for example, we know a great commercial when we see it.

NBC has rejected a Super Bowl commercial created by a Catholic advocacy group. The ad, which can be seen here (to the left) is simple, riveting, and features a surprise twist. Consider it proof that a great commercial doesn’t have to cost millions of dollars.

No matter what position you take on the abortion issue, this commercial is a simple, powerful piece of communication.

Watch it.

Gays Ga-Ga Over Andrea Mitchell. No, seriously.

Andrea Mitchell feeling gay!
Andrea Mitchell feeling witty, oh so witty, oh so witty and pretty and gay

Believe it or not, veteran NBC News reporter Andrea Mitchell is an icon within the gay community.

(We’ll pause here for a moment to let you reflect upon that last sentence. Perhaps you may even want to re-read it for fear that you misread it the first time).

To repeat, veteran NBC News reporter Andrea Mitchell is an icon within the gay community.

“She’s the Golden Girls rolled into one,” one gay reporter noted. “The body of Sophia, the sassiness of Dorothy and probably a sex kitten like Blanche, and most likely from the Midwest like Rose.”

Pick whatever icons you want. But for god’s sake, guys, this woman is a thousand years old, has a grating voice, and her face looks like a pillow case that was left in the dryer too long.

Isn’t one Barbara Streisand enough for the gay community?

Hot PETA women and their cucumbers

We’re happy to report that General Motors isn’t spending $3,000,000 for a Super Bowl commercial this year. But what about other advertisers?

Is it wise to spend that much money on one commercial in this economic downturn? Surprisingly, many advertisers say, “Yes, it’s a bargain.”

Their rationale? The Super Bowl draws an immense audience and is, perhaps, the only programming on television that causes consumers to “lean forward” and watch the commercials.

No one will be leaning forward and watching the attached PETA commercial because it was rejected by the television network. Talk about your wardrobe malfunction.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTdPRlHB4Os

Pelosi says birth control helps the economy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_PTqvyzwRgThis is the Speaker of the House of the United States of America. For God’s sake, we might be having some economic troubles, but we’re still the most powerful nation in the history of the world.

Is this stuttering, stammering, yammering lunatic the best and brightest this country has to offer?

Please make Kate Winslet shut up

Winslet recently won double Golden Globes and last night won a Screen Actors Guild award.Yet she always gets to the podium and can’t shut up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zonv-VNW5qkNo matter how many awards Kate Winslet wins, she never knows what to say.

Winslet recently won double Golden Globes and last night won a Screen Actors Guild award. Yet she always gets to the podium, clutches her award like it’s struggling to get away, quickly becomes overcome with emotion and announces that she doesn’t know what to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MDhTcTImjQ “It is really an honor to be included in such a remarkable year and [to] be acknowledged by my peers in this way,” Winslet said last night. “”I’m a little bit lost for words. I’m sorry.”

Here’s a really creative tip thats works for us every time we pick up our Pulitzer Prize: 3 x 5 cards. Try ‘em, Kate.

By the way, we really enjoyed saying “Kate Winslet” and “double Golden Globes” in the same sentence. We hope you enjoyed reading it.

Cindy McCain smarter than her husband

cindy mccain john blurryThere’s a reason John McCain married a younger woman. Not only can she spoonfeed the deluded old codger and wipe up his drool, but she’s rational enough to comprehend what the media did to her husband throughout the last election cycle.

“I do believe there was a media bias,” Cindy said. “I do believe that the media had a specific agenda…There is very little difference now between journalism and gossip.”

“The New York Times profile of me is being used as an example of the bias in reporting in journalism classes at Columbia’s journalism school.”

Our sources inside the McCain home report that Senator McCain woke up soon after the cameras were turned off:

“The press loves me,” John said. “I’m a maverick, damn it, and the press loves me.”

Cindy rolled her eyes, patted him on the head and said, “Yes, dear. They love you. Now go back to sleep.”

He’s Obama. She’s O-gasmic.

oprah orgasmIt’s the day after the election. Oprah Winfrey and her guests were quivering with O-gasmic delight.

Actor Forest Whitaker said, “The light of the New Age is here.”

Oprah gal pal Gayle King said, “Not only does he hear us. He feels us…he talks to my soul.”

Whitaker saw King’s goofy comment and raised her one by saying, “It’s okay to love” again thanks to the Obamas.

Nutcase historian Doris Kearns Goodwin piped in by saying it’s “extraordinary” to have a president care about history.

But the award for most o-gasmic comment of the day went to Ali Wentworth, wife of ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, who, with a straight face, claimed: “I took the Metro. And everyone was singing Amazing Grace.”

We always attempt to end our stories with an amusing comment. But we are simply incapable of topping Oprah and her guests when it comes to funny.

Larry King’s son wants to be black

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXJI3dpO_A4Ancient orange-haired septuagenarian talkmeister Larry King has revealed that his youngest son (from his seventh marriage) is so enamored with Barack Obama that he wants to be black.

“My younger son Cannon, he is eight,” said King. “And he now says that he would like to be black. I’m not kidding. He said there’s a lot of advantages. Black is in.”

When pressed by reporters, King also admitted his son wishes he hadn’t been named after a fat TV detective from the 70s, wishes life with his father wasn’t quite so much like “Weekend At Bernie’s,” and wishes he understood why seven women have seen fit to marry daddy.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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