Liberal conundrum: Kenya’s Muslim leaders want to execute gays

As difficult as it will be for liberals to choose between their radical Muslim constituency and their gay constituency, we assume they’ll go with the gays because…

Strip the burqa off to expose the true face of Islam and it ain’t pretty. But it does make for an amusing situation when liberals find out that the radical Muslims they are so quick to defend want to execute one of liberalism’s core constituencies.

gay-muslim
Osama Bin Swishie takes a stroll around Nairobi

Times Live has the deadly details:

Muslim leaders in Kenya have called on the government to introduce the death penalty for homosexuals and to boycott their businesses, media reports said Monday.

“Death is the only punishment prescribed by Islam for such people as done in China and Iran,” the Daily Nation quoted Sheikh Mohammed Khalifa, of the Council of Imams and Preachers of Kenya, as saying.

“We are asking Kenyans to shun businesses owned by such people and further show them open discrimination as a way of stopping the beastly act,” he told reporters at an anti-homosexual workshop.

And if they don’t stop “the beastly act,” we assume that they will be stoned to death, an act of supreme kindness.

Another participant at the work shop, Sheikh Majid Obeid also blamed Kenya’s recent drought on “illicit activities.”

“The rising cost of living and drought are due to the behaviour of these Kenyans who are not ready to change,” he said.

As difficult as it will be for liberals to choose between their radical Muslim constituency and their gay constituency, we assume they’ll go with the gays because the radical Muslims made the mistake of endorsing the death penalty.

Ten demerits for the radical Muslims.

Source: Times Live

61% of Americans pissed at the media. So why isn’t everyone reading IHateTheMedia.com?

A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 61% of Likely U.S. Voters are at least somewhat angry at the media.

Let’s see. There are 300 million Americans and Rasmussen says 61% of them hate the media. According to our rough calculations, that means we have about 183 million potential readers.

Damn it. We’re not fulfilling our potential. This is like reliving every report card we ever got in school.

danger-angry-american
Fox News will probably be the only television network to report this story

Rasmussen confirms that although we are thought leaders, we are economic laggards:

A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 61% of Likely U.S. Voters are at least somewhat angry at the media, with 26% who are Very Angry. Thirty-six percent (36%) don’t share that anger, including 13% who are Not At All Angry at the media.

This is only slightly less anger than voters expressed in June of last year as the midterm election season was heating up.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking everyone hates the media, though. There is one narrow segment of the American public that loves the media. You won’t be surprised to find out who they are:

The Political Class, however, likes the job the media is doing. While 47% of Mainstream voters feel that most reporters are trying to advance the president’s agenda, 64% of those in the Political Class think they are more interested in unbiased reporting. No wonder, then, that 71% of Mainstream voters are angry at the media, but 83% of the Political Class are not.

The same Rasmussen poll shows that 69% Americans express anger at the current policies of the federal government.

Maybe we should start a second money-losing site called IHateTheGovernment.com. It would be based, of course, on the time-tested liberal theory that we lose money on every website, but we’ll make it up in volume.

H/T: CO2Insanity

Source: Rasmussen

Ultimate arbiter of cool announces that Obama still is

In David Axelrod’s mind Barack Obama is the coolest of the cool. The hippest of the hip. The grooviest, baby.

David Axelrod is a rumbled, old political strategist with a wrinkled suit, a bad haircut, a silly moustache and cloud of cigarette smoke hanging over his head. He’s so far from cool that it’s a long distance call.

david-axelrod
David Axelrod is (a) saying Barack Obama is A-OK or (b) his arthritis is acting up again

Nevertheless, Axelrod wants you to know that he knows what cool is. And in David Axelrod’s mind Barack Obama is the coolest of the cool. The hippest of the hip. The grooviest, baby.

Real Clear Politics reports Axelrod’s delusion:

”I find it as cool to be an Obama supporter. Having sat with him for two years is the White House and watched him — watching him work through some very difficult things with a lot of intelligence and grace, equilibrium. I, I have great admiration for him,” Obama’s chief campaign strategist told CNN.

“The people who were participating in the campaign in 2008 weren’t involved n some sort of cult of personality. It wasn’t just about Barack Obama, it was the country and they cared deeply about this country,” Axelrod said in his answer a question about how to make Obama “cool” again.

Well, there you have it. If someone as cool as David Axelrod says Obama is still cool, then cool he is.

In a Bay City Rollers kind of way.

Source: Real Clear Politics

Want to save black babies’ lives? That makes you a racist.

Black is beautiful just turned ugly. A California organization has been accused of racism because it ran pro-life outdoor boards in black neighborhoods.

Black is beautiful just turned ugly. A California organization has been accused of racism because it ran pro-life outdoor boards in black neighborhoods.

Of course it sounds insane. But Representative Barbara Lee is involved in the story, so it’s insane by definition.

black-and-beautiful
Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Racist. Just keep repeating it until it's meaningless.

CNB has the story of the aborted ad campaign:

…The Issues4Life Foundation and The Radiance Foundation have launched a pro-life billboard campaign with the goal of saving the lives of hundreds of thousands of black babies aborted in America each year.

“The impact of abortion in the black community is the Darfur of America,” Walter B. Hoye II, president of the Issues4Life Foundation, told Life Site News.

The signs in question contain the message “Black & Beautiful” and are going up in largely black communities in Oakland, Calif.

Statistics show that black women are three times more likely to have abortions as the general population. So it would seem to be a good idea to run the ads in black neighborhoods. But, no, attempting to save the lives of black babies is – you guessed it – racist.

… Planned Parenthood and California pro-choice groups are calling the ads racist. They say the “black & beautiful” slogan is too close to the “black is beautiful” cultural-pride campaign made popular in the 1960s.

Rep. Barbara Lee, D-Calif., has also spoken out against the billboards.

“I am deeply offended by the race-based billboards that are being displayed in my congressional district by the Radiance Foundation and Issues4life,” she said in a statement.

“These billboards stigmatize women of color and perpetuate myths about parenting skills and the types of women who seek and use abortion services,” Lee added.

You know the race mongers have truly jumped the shark when attempting to save the lives of black babies is called racism.

And in the case of Barbara Lee, it’s just too bad that retroactive abortion isn’t legal.

Source: CBN

Congressmen bravely stand up for your right to not be harassed by the TSA! As long as you’re Mexican or Haitian.

Good News! The TSA will soon be investigating the racial profiling of Mexicans and Haitians at an airport in New Jersey.

Good news. While the government might not be able to do anything about the TSA’s seemingly insatiable desire to grope your children, they will soon be investigating the racial profiling of Mexicans and Haitians at an airport in New Jersey.

Never mind that neither Haitian nor Mexican is a race. At least not if you have any plans on flying anywhere in the near future and don’t want the rubber-gloved hand of national security treating you literally the way Obama is treating you figuratively.

tsa agent
The rubber-gloved tyranny of the TSA

NJ.com puts their finger on it for us:

The Republican chairman and ranking Democrat on the House Homeland Security Committee said they want the head of the Transportation Security Administration to explain how racial profiling became a common practice among TSA screeners at Newark Liberty International Airport.

Rep. Peter King (R-N.Y.) and Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-Miss) are both seeking answers from TSA Administrator John Pistole, after a federal report found several behavior detection officers, or BDOs, had singled out Mexican and Dominican passengers for special scrutiny, bag searches, questioning and document reviews in 2008 and 2009.

It is our sincere hope that these matters can be dealt with quickly and effectively so that the TSA can get back to the important work of molesting your grandmother.

– Written by Kip Hooker at TheVitaminPress.com

Source: NJ.com

$700 billion can’t buy Ben Bernanke a clue

Some startling news: The Pope is Catholic, bears excrete better things than the 2009 Stimulus bill in the woods and Fed Chairman Bernanke has no clue what’s wrong with the economy.

Some startling news: The Pope is Catholic, bears excrete better things than the 2009 Stimulus bill in the woods and Fed Chairman Bernanke has no clue what’s wrong with the economy.

Forbes has the story:

[In his second post-FOMC press conference] Bernanke admitted that he had no clue what was actually causing the current fragility in the U.S. economic recovery. While the FOMC statement assigned blame outside of the U.S., pointing at Japan along with rising food and oil prices, Bernanke […admitted…] only some of the factors were temporary and that he didn’t know exactly what was causing the slowdown, but that it would persist. “Growth,” said Bernanke, “will return into 2012.”

bernanke-praying
Ben Bernanke prays that no one will ask him a really hard question

Ben’s cluelessness is not news. His moves recently have been a central banker’s version of running in circles and screaming. What does surprise is the fact he still doesn’t get it, like someone having Anthony Weiner for a roommate and not understanding why he spends so much time with his smartphone. The problem is as plain as the nose on Barack Obama’s face.

Victor Davis Hanson explains:

…those in business, from the small entrepreneur to the captain of industry, have decided that it is wisest to sit out what is left of this administration, and wait to hire, buy, invest, and expand until someone at the top shows a basic knowledge of finance and economics, and some sympathy concerning what those in the private sector must contend with.

Simply put, growth will return in 2013 or 2017, when Barack Obama doesn’t.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Forbes, Victor David Hanson

White House didn’t want you to know that Democrats laugh when Obama claims he’s created two million jobs

When conservative bloggers publicized the fact that Democrat contributors laughed at Obama, the White House rushed out a new, improved transcript.

After the President gives a speech the White House puts out a transcript complete with audience reactions noted.

For example, he spoke to the Democrat National Committee on Monday and said that his administration had created 2.1 million jobs. The transcript duly noted that the audience laughed.

Who can blame them. Surely they thought it was intended as a punch line.

But when conservative bloggers publicized the fact that Democrat contributors laughed at the claim, the White House rushed out a new, improved transcript.

The new one replaced (Laughter) with (Applause).

We have a feeling that someone in the White House isn’t laughing right now.

laugh-obama-job-claim

H/T: Gateway Pundit

California blows $100 million building one new school, but doesn’t have enough money to open it

We don’t know what it’s like in the other 56 states, but in California we have an interesting situation in which morons are in charge of the education system.

We don’t know what it’s like in the other 56 states, but in California we have an interesting situation in which morons are in charge of the education system.

In Riverside, California (the Editor’s hometown) the voters approved construction of a new high school back in 2007. The total cost of its construction eventually reached an astounding $100 million.

One. Hundred. Million. Dollars. For that kind of money the school mascot should be George Soros.

hillcrest high school
The architect's rendering of HIllcrest High School was very accurate. Except for its inclusion of students.

Construction is now complete, but the district can’t afford to open it because it would cost another $3 million to operate it each year and the district is tapped out. So neighboring schools will remain overcrowded while the new Hillcrest High School gathers dust and cobwebs.

Yahoo News reports the idiocy:

Wendell Tucker of the Alvord Unified School District said the district’s $130 million operating budget had been cut by $25 million.

“When the California budget goes down and income in the state goes down, funding to K-through-12 education goes with it,” Tucker told USA Today. “We made a number of budget adjustments. Right now, we simply are out of adjustments, and it’s not feasible … to open this school.”

And it’s not clear that things will be any different in 2012. “We’ll look at it on a year by year basis,” Tucker added.

But wait. We know this is hard to believe, but it gets worse.

… even though the school won’t be in use, the district will still have to spend $1 million to maintain the buildings and run air conditioning and other systems, to keep them from deteriorating.

May we be so bold as to suggest that if the school ever opens it might be a good idea to make economics a required class.

H/T: Kimmy Queen

Source: Yahoo News

The latest glitch in ObamaCare: Millions more qualify for free insurance

Obamacare would let several million middle-class people get nearly free insurance meant for the poor, a twist discovered only after the complex bill was signed.

Obamacare is like any other pile of feces – you gotta pass it to find out what’s in it. One year later, Obama’s signature piece of legislative diarrhea still reeks with surprises.

Yahoo has the latest poop:

[Obamacare] would let several million middle-class people get nearly free insurance meant for the poor, a twist government number crunchers say they discovered only after the complex bill was signed.

free-obamacare
If you think healthcare is expensive now...oh, wait, that's what the sign says

… 3 million more people could qualify for Medicaid in 2014 [because]…. most of their Social Security benefits would no longer be counted as income for determining eligibility. It might be compared to allowing middle-class people to qualify for food stamps.…administration officials and senior Democratic lawmakers say it’s not a loophole but the result of a well-meaning effort to simplify rules for deciding who will get help with insurance costs….

Good intentions, the best pavement for certain roads we know. But who’s getting pooped on?

…states have been clamoring for relief from Medicaid costs, complaining that just these sorts of federal rules drive up spending and limit state options.

States, the guys that CAN’T print money at will. This will be fixed ASAP, then….

A spokeswoman for the Senate Finance Committee… said if the situation does become a problem there’s plenty of time to fix it later.

Sure, things will be less hectic after the apocalypse. Now for the good news…

“The fact that this is being discovered now tells you, what else is baked into this law?” said [Mike] Leavitt, [HHS secretary under President Bush.]

Yeah, that Obama is some baker.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Associated Press via Yahoo

Joke of the Day: The tree hugger and the tree

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland in Washington….

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland in Washington.

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

old-growth-forest
She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local emergency room to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, “What took you so long?”

He smiled and then told her, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a “recreational area” so close to a waste treatment facility. I’m sorry, but due to ObamaCare they turned you down.”

Liberal logic? San Francisco city retirees make more than the workers who pay their pensions

If you live in San Francisco and you’re unfortunate enough to work for someone other than the city/county government, you’re getting screwed.

If you live in San Francisco and you’re unfortunate enough to work for someone other than the city/county government, you’re getting screwed. And there ain’t no glory hole in sight.

heather-fong
No wonder Heather Fong is smiling. The former San Francisco police chief gets an annual pension of $264,000

The SF Gate spells out the specifics:

The average retiree from San Francisco city government earns an annual pension of $46,272, according to the San Francisco Employees’ Retirement System. The average retiree who worked at least 30 years in city government earns an annual pension of $76,981.

The average pension for a retiree from the Fire Department is $108,552. From the Police Department? $95,016. And everybody else? $41,136.

The figures show most retirees aren’t getting anywhere near the fat packages that outrage many city residents – like the $264,000 pension paid to former Police Chief Heather Fong last year.

But city retirees are doing pretty well compared with working San Franciscans. Census data show the median family income in the city is $86,546. Per capita income is $44,373.

Four words: Un. Sus. Tain. Able.

Source: SF Gate

Chris Matthews doesn’t like the way Texas Governor Rick Perry uses his hands. No, really.

The idea tank is running on empty over at MSNBC. Chris Matthews is out of reasons to badmouth conservatives.

The idea tank is running on empty over at MSNBC. Chris Matthews is out of reasons to badmouth conservatives. He’s used stupid and evil and racist and sexist, so now he’s forced to get a bit more creative in his criticism.

That being said, “He makes funny hand motions” seems pretty weak.

C’mon, Chris, you didn’t have any problem with the way Anthony Weiner used his hands.

H/T: Breitbart.tv

Is another Kennedy drinking? RFK Jr says Air America was more popular than Rush, Beck and Hannity

Despite this delusional pronouncement from the heir to the Kennedy name, Air America remains one of the great failures in the history of broadcasting.

Hide the Jack Daniels. Crazy Uncle bobby is coming over to visit and you need to protect him from himself.

Now, we’re only hypothesizing that it was alcohol talking, but what else could explain RFK Jr’s bizarre claim that Air America was more popular than conservative radio?

Despite this delusional pronouncement from the heir to the Kennedy name, Air America remains one of the great failures in the history of broadcasting. It has a horribly flawed business model, few stations, and few listeners. In the few major markets where it had affiliates, it had one sixth of the listeners of conservative talk radio.

Tavis Smily, any Kennedy and PBS. Mix ‘em all together and you’re sure to get some absolutely stupid comments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEMhzN3tqYY

You can’t make this stuff up: Former Hillary intern now a porn star

Hillary Clinton should have had a clue when she learned the name of the intern she interviewed back in 2006.

Hillary Clinton should have had a clue when she learned the name of the intern she interviewed back in 2006. If there was ever a name that cried out “Porn star” it had to be Sammie Spades.

Here we are five short years later and Sammie has fulfilled the fate destined by her moniker.

hillary intern
The politician and the porn star: It's often difficult to tell the difference

The Daily Mail UK keeps us abreast of the story:

Ms Spades, whose assets include a 32DD bust and 26″ waist, was planning on going to college in Buffalo, New York, when she met Mrs Clinton at a banquet and asked if she could intern over the summer months.

To her delight she was accepted at Mrs Clinton’s Buffalo office. She did miscellaneous office work and no doubt made lots of coffee, but did dream of a career in politics.

‘I was planning on becoming an attorney and then going into public office,’ Ms Spades told TMZ.

sammie-spades
That was then, this is now: Hillary's intern today

Sadly, it was not meant to be. We sincerely believe that Sammie’s path in life was predetermined by the name she was given at birth:

But alas, a couple of years after she left Mrs Clinton, Ms Spades ran into money problems.

She abandoned politics and decided a career in porn was the best way to pay the bills.

The star of Big Butts Like It Big 8 and White bubble Butts 4, never stopped admiring Mrs Clinton.

Obviously, there is very little difference between politics and porn.

In one you have to be willing to screw anyone and sell your body and soul to anyone who offers you a little money. And in the other you make movies.

That being said, wouldn’t you agree that it’s an absolutely incredible coincidence that a woman trained by Hillary Clinton should star in a movie called “Big Butts”?

Source: Daily Mail UK

Obama the comedian: My administration is the best damn friend Israel’s ever had

“Let have a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, for the comedy stylings of Barack ‘Shecky’ Obama.”

Presidents always wonder what they’ll do when they leave office. In the case of Barack Obama there’s no question. He leaves office on January 21, 2013 and will open the next night at the Improv in Las Vegas.

“Let have a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, for the comedy stylings of Barack ‘Shecky’ Obama.”

obama-comedian
Barack "Shecky" Obama probably won't be playing the Catskills circuit

Reuters has the hilarious details:

President Barack Obama reassured Jewish donors on Monday he strongly supports Israel, stressing close ties between the United States and the Jewish state, but also emphasizing that changes in the Middle East will require a fresh look at the region.

“Both the United States and Israel are going to have to look at this new landscape with fresh eyes. It’s not going to be sufficient for us just to keep on doing the same things,” Obama said at the first of two big-ticket fund-raisers where he was speaking on Monday evening.

He addressed the crowd of about 80 people a month after a speech on the Middle East that exposed a rift between the United States and Israel. At Monday’s dinner, hosted by Americans in Support of a Strong U.S.-Israel Relationship, he said his administration had done more than any for 25 years to support Israel’s security.

And then he said, “I just flew in and, man, are my arms tired. I used to live in an apartment that was so small the mice were hunchbacked. Take my wife. Please. Thank you. Thank you very much. I’ll be here all week.”

Everyone’s laughing except the Israelis.

Source: Reuters

More people killed by European organic vegetable sprouts than Fukushima meltdown and Gulf oil spill combined

Oddly enough, more people have been killed by e coli-infected organic vegetable sprouts in Europe than were killed in both of the world’s worst environmental disasters combined.

Eco-wackos hand out trophies for “Worst Environmental Disaster In History” like Hollywood hands out Oscars. Just last year the Gulf oil spill won the title, only to have it snatched away by Japan’s Fukushima nuclear meltdown.

brussels-sprouts
Brussels is a good place to find bureaucrats, but a bad place to find sprouts

One would imagine that the world’s worst environmental disasters must cause untold deaths. Yet, oddly enough, more people have been killed by e coli-infected organic vegetable sprouts in Europe than were killed in both of the world’s worst environmental disasters combined.

Who cares about environmental disasters when US News has the story of the world’s worst epicurean disaster:

Vegetable sprouts grown on an organic farm in northwestern Germany caused the E. coli outbreak that’s sickened nearly 3,000 people and killed 29, according to the head of the nation’s national disease control center.

While no tests of vegetable sprouts from the farm in Lower Saxony came back positive for the E. coli strain responsible for the outbreak, an investigation into the pattern of the outbreak yielded enough evidence to put the finger of blame on the farm, Reinhard Burger, president of the Robert Koch Institute, said…

SmallDeadAnimals.com makes sense of it all:

One German organic farm has killed twice as many people as the Fukushima nuclear disaster and the Gulf Oil spill combined.

Good lord. Do you know what this means? Al Gore will have to make do with domestic vegetable sprouts.

This. Is. Un. Acceptable.

H/T: Andrew Bolt

Oil! Conspiracy! Intrigue! Swarthy, mysterious foreigners. This story has it all.

Some of our Canadian friends are spinning a conspiratorial tale about foreign interest wolves in sheep’s clothing interfering in an important domestic industry. Oil, to be specific.

Some of our Canadian friends are spinning a conspiratorial tale about foreign interest wolves in sheep’s clothing interfering in an important domestic industry. Oil, to be specific.

prince-alwaleed-bin-talal
Only the world's 26th richest man would color coordinate his giant sunglasses and his turtleneck sweater

The Toronto Sun outlines the paranoia:

An OPEC billionaire has publicly said what everyone long suspected… Saudi Arabia doesn’t want the world to develop unconventional sources of oil, like Canada’s oilsands.

Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, the world’s 26th richest man, worth more than $19 billion, told CNN he’s worried if oil prices stay around $100 a barrel, the West will look for other sources of oil and Saudi Arabia would lose its dominant position.

Doesn’t mpact us since non-Muslim president Obama discovered plenty of oil in Brazil, not to mention his “green energy” investments that produce quantum-particle-like jobs (they vanish when you look for them.) The Canadians, who sit on vast fields of shale oil deposits, are all wound up, however:

Prince Al-Waleed’s comments were a rare Saudi public criticism of the West. Normally, they leave that sort of thing to their allies — professional environmental lobbyists.

There are about 100 professional anti-oilsands activists in Canada, who do nothing but attack Canada’s oil industry. Typically they pose as grassroots environmentalists. But the facts are different.

Most environmental activists are actually paid professionals. And most work for foreign lobbyists.

Greenpeace, for example, is a $200-million multinational corporation based in Europe. If they don’t raise a million bucks a day in fundraising, they’d have to shut down.

Call us stupid, but we had never considered the fact that Greenpeace’s anti-oil campaign might we funded by oil interests. Duh!

Thankfully, our media has more important stuff on its mind, like reading Sarah Palin’s old emails.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Toronto Sun

NBC edits “under God” from Pledge of Allegiance, apologizes, but doesn’t say what it’s apologizing for

For some inexplicable reason NBC cut the words “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance during it’s coverage of the U.S. Open golf tournament.

For some inexplicable reason NBC cut the words “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance during it’s coverage of the U.S. Open golf tournament.

It’s inexplicable to us, but perhaps you’re smarter than we are and can explic it.

Strange as this must have seemed to NBC, people noticed. They complained. In droves. And NBC began a tardy attempt at damage control by having Dan Hicks issue this vague apology on the air:

“We began our coverage of this final round just about three hours ago and when we did it was our intent to begin the coverage of this U.S. Open Championship with a feature that captured the patriotism of our national championship being held in our nation’s capital for the third time. Regrettably, a portion of the Pledge of Allegiance that was in that feature was edited out. It was not done to upset anyone and we’d like to apologize to those of you who were offended by it.”

A portion? What portion? The general statement doesn’t actually say.

NBC, which is owned in part by General Electric, a company so far up Obama’s butt that it can’t see daylight, omitted the same words Obama omitted from the Declaration of Independence in an April speech and from his Thanksgiving proclamation in November.

But please don’t read anything into this remarkable coincidence.

http://youtu.be/xZIDvLJhSOE

Good news: Obama finds two lawyers willing to say that dropping bombs and killing people isn’t war

There’s good news for those of you who worry that America can’t carry on three simultaneous wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya: Whatever that thing in Libya is, it’s not a war.

There’s good news for those of you who worry that America can’t carry on three simultaneous wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya: Whatever that thing in Libya is, it’s not a war.

We know this because President Obama searched high and low in his administration until he found two lawyers who valued their jobs enough to tell him what he wanted to hear.

libya-war
Liberals are so anti-war that they are no longer using the w-word

The New York Times has the decidedly dovish details:

President Obama rejected the views of top lawyers at the Pentagon and the Justice Department when he decided that he had the legal authority to continue American military participation in the air war in Libya without Congressional authorization, according to officials familiar with internal administration deliberations.

Jeh C. Johnson, the Pentagon general counsel, and Caroline D. Krass, the acting head of the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel, had told the White House that they believed that the United States military’s activities in the NATO-led air war amounted to “hostilities.” Under the War Powers Resolution, that would have required Mr. Obama to terminate or scale back the mission after May 20.

But Mr. Obama decided instead to adopt the legal analysis of several other senior members of his legal team — including the White House counsel, Robert Bauer, and the State Department legal adviser, Harold H. Koh — who argued that the United States military’s activities fell short of “hostilities.” Under that view, Mr. Obama needed no permission from Congress to continue the mission unchanged.

Liberals used to say, “Make love, not war.” That has now been amended to “Make up new definitions, not war.”

Source: New York Times

Better living through chemistry: Japanese researcher invents the shit sandwich

Maybe this is all BS, but turd-burgers seem no more absurd than a good bit of what the eco-wackos have tried to feed us over the years.

Maybe this is all BS, but turd-burgers seem no more absurd than a good bit of what the eco-wackos have tried to feed us over the years.

Let’s go to Inhabitat.com for the straight poop:

mitsuyuki-ikeda-shit-burger
Mitsuyuki Ikeda shows off his shit burger. Rumor has it that McDonald's may sue for patent infringement.

The meatpacking industry causes 18 percent of our greenhouse gas emissions, mostly due to the release of methane from animals. The livestock industry also consumes huge amounts of feed and water in relation to the amount of meat that it yields, and many find the industry to be inhumane and cruel to animals. These factors alone are reason enough for vegetarians to replace their meat intake with vegetable proteins and legumes. But Ikeda, a scientist at the Environmental Assessment Center in Okayama, sought to further the field of alternative proteins by recycling a form of protein-rich waste: sewage mud.

Unfortunately, the term “sewage mud” is a polite euphemism for exactly what you think it is – poop. Scientist Mitsuyuki Ikeda’s extracts the protein and lipids from the euphemistic mud and then combines it with a “reaction enhancer”. We’re not sure what a reaction enhancer is, but we assume it enhances the reaction from “Yuck” to “Mmmmm.” The whole conglomeration is then whipped into “meat”. (This is, thanks to Anthony Weiner, the only time in the last two weeks that the words whip and meat have been used in a sentence that didn’t evoke gales of laughter.) Finally, Ikeda attemps to improve the taste of his product by adding soya and steak sauce. Lots and lots of soya and steak sauce.

Make no mistake about it, this may be crap, but it ain’t cheap crap. Ikeda’s poop burgers may be 10-20 times more expensive than regular meat, but he thinks the prices will even out as time goes on.

Take your choice of closing lines:

Ikeda Beef: It’s what’s for dinner . . . last night.

or

Two words: Soylent Brown.

or

Big deal. If we’re not mistaken, McDonald’s has been serving this for years.

– Written by Kip Hooker @ TheVitaminPress.com

Source: Inhabitant.com

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee: Those suicide bombing Baptists scare the hell out of me

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) said that investigators needed to analyze Christian militants in America because they too might try to “bring down the country.”

We haven’t heard a peep from the inimitable Sheila Jackson Lee for a few weeks and have to admit that we’ve missed the Texas Democrat’s unique brand of lunacy.

Well, never fear. You know she can’t keep from spouting off for too long. Like she did, for example, during Rep. Peter King’s House hearings into radical Islam.

CNS News graces us with Jackson Lee’s latest:

At a congressional hearing on Muslim radicalization in U.S. prisons, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) said that investigators needed to analyze Christian militants in America because they too might try to “bring down the country.”

In an exchange with witness Patrick Dunleavy, the former deputy inspector of the criminal intelligence unit, New York Department of Correctional Services, Rep. Jackson Lee mentioned the case of a man who blew up an abortion clinic and proposed that this perhaps was an attempt to undermine U.S. law that allows a woman to procure an abortion.

“As we look to be informational, we should include an analysis of how Christian militants or others might bring down the country,” she said during the hearing. “We have to look broadly, do we not?”

Absolutely. We don’t know about you, but we’re sick and tired of those suicide bombing Baptists killing innocent women and children. We’ve had it with Methodists creating mayhem in the streets. And we look forward to the day when crazed Catholics stop flying airplanes into buildings.

Right on, Representative Jackson Lee. Right on.

Source: CNS News

A confederacy of douches: Keith Olbemann wants Anthony Weiner to join Al Gore’s TV network

If there were ever three kindred spirits, they would have to be Keith Olbermann, Anthony Weiner and Al Gore. Dickhead, dick, and dickless.

If there were ever three kindred spirits, they would have to be Keith Olbermann, Anthony Weiner and Al Gore. Dickhead, dick, and dickless.

Olbermann, making the rounds of the media to promote the premiere of his new show on Gore’s failed Current TV, responded when Jimmy Fallon asked if Weiner might eventually end up on CNN.

keith-olbermann
Don't worry, Keith. No one will be listening, no one will be watching.

CBS News reports the former MSNBC host’s supposedly witty riposte:

“Well, you know, I’ve got a nine o’clock show that I am probably going to hire somebody for,” Olbermann told Fallon, referring to the space immediately after his upcoming new show, Countdown with Keith Olbermann on Current TV.
Fallon asked Olbermann if would hire Weiner.

“Eliot Spitzer is doing okay on CNN at eight o’clock,” Olbermann replied with a smile.

Spitzer’s doing OK? Looks like Olbermann is playing as fast and loose with the truth as ever.

Friday, the night that Olbermann uttered these words, Bill O’Reilly had over 3,000,000 viewers. Nancy Grace wrangled in 1,677,000 on HLN. Lawrence O’Donnell attracted 903,000 to MSNBC. And Spitzer drew a mere 541,000.

So now we know what Current considers the benchmark of success: Half the viewers of the number three show in the time slot.

Source: CBS News, MediaBistro.com

Cutbacks: Can it still be called Newsweek if it doesn’t come out every week?

This past Monday started a dark week for the newsweekly. It now appears that it will be one of four dark weeks for the summer — two more than Tina Brown planned.

Ahhhh, Newsweek. A magazine with a storied past, but a bleak present and an even grimmer future.

Its staffers were undoubtedly mortified last year when the magazine sold for a mere $1, but now, in order to make the comeuppance complete, its new print schedule makes a mockery of the publication’s name.

obama-newsweek-covers
Newsweek may cut back the number of issues it publishes, but we're certain it won't cut back on the number of Obama covers

The New York Post details the unscheduled rescheduling:

The partners behind Newsweek Daily Beast Company appear to be holding down the flow of red ink this summer by cutting back on the number of Newsweek issues.

This past Monday started a dark week for the newsweekly. It now appears that it will be one of four dark weeks for the summer — two more than Tina Brown planned.

The original editorial calendar showed only one dark week, surrounding the July 4 weekend.

Staffers now have been told that they will not have to work the week of July 18-22 since no issue will appear on July 25. They also can spend a little extra time at the beach the week of Aug. 15-19, since there will now be no issue on Aug. 22.

The Editor went to high school with an unfortunate girl whose last name was Gorgeous, but whose appearance wasn’t.

We hope she takes solace in the fact that she is no longer the most misnamed noun in the world.

Source: New York Post

Letter to the Editor: R. Coddington Fahrnsworth on federal salaries

Maybe one day we will all work for the government – the ultimate goal of our beloved President Barack Obama, praise his name.

Dear I Hate the Media and We Liberal Truthtellers Loathe You Right Back,

I woke up at 10 a.m. to telecommute to an early meeting on the use of capital letters in official government correspondence when I heard a bunch of Conservative loudmouths on my shower radio spouting off about small businesses being “the backbone of our economy.”

Pshaw.

Nothing could be further from the truth, but I should expect as much disinformation from the NeoCondrethal likes of Rush, Beck and Hannity – the three ogres of bogus.

As important government officials and supporters of the arts, my colleagues and I are well-paid for our endeavors.

r-coddington-fahrnsworth-limo
When he's not telecommuting, R. Coddington Fahrnsworth braves traffic in the back seat of a government-issued limo

According to your little Conservative rag, the Washington Times, more than 77,000 federal employees are paid more than state governors.

These include air traffic controllers, librarians, and interior designers. Obviously, it’s much more important to ensure that rooms in office buildings flow with correct chi than it is to run a state like North Dakota or Alabama.

Simple economics: By paying government officials, like myself, exorbitant salaries this country remains economically solvent. We return this investment by producing reports on the mating habits of the eastern Tennessee slug worm. We also return this money to the local economies by shopping at Trader Vic’s and Whole Foods.

Hopefully, as salaries continue to soar higher for federal employees, more people in the private sector will abandon their cute little hair salons and haberdasheries to attain more meaningful work as public servants – provided the public pays really, really well for its servants.

Maybe one day we will all work for the government – the ultimate goal of our beloved President Barack Obama, praise his name.

I’m sorry. I can’t write any more. I’m all misty at the thought.

Sincerely,

R. Coddington Fahrnsworth                                                                       Entrusted servant of the public good and genius

The Strange Case of Barack Jekyl and Obama Hyde

Our president is a Jekyl and Hyde character. Barack Jekyl is clueless about the economy and Obama Hyde is hell-bent to cause more destruction.

We’ve learned our president is a Jekyl and Hyde character. Barack Jekyl is completely clueless about how to improve the economy and Obama Hyde is hell-bent to cause more destruction.

schizophrenic cap
Which Barack Obama will we get today?

US News profiles the destructive alter-ego in action:

Two new EPA pollution regulations will slam the coal industry so hard that hundreds of thousands of jobs will be lost, and electric rates will skyrocket 11 percent to over 23 percent, according to a new study based on government data.

“Many of these severe impacts would hit families living in states already facing serious economic challenges,” said Steve Miller, president of the American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity.

Just a hunch, but we figure those are states he didn’t figure to win next year. To continue…

The industry says the costs and potential to lose four jobs for every new clean energy job created isn’t worth the rules, especially in a job-starved economy.

Raising the price of electricity for strapped families while putting more workers out of jobs. Obama’s focusing like a laser on the economy so he can vaporize it. But there is an upside, they claim:

…officials said that just one of the rules to cut sulfur dioxide and nitrogen oxide emissions will would yield up to $290 billion in annual health and welfare benefits in 2014.

And the stimulus will reduce unemployment below 8%. And Obamacare will reduce the deficit. The next time this bunch’s numbers prove correct will be the first.

Multiple personalities or not, we wish he’d imitate a job and vanish.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: US News

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