Hugo Chavez calls Clinton “a blonde Condoleezza”

Hugo Chavez proved just how out of touch he is this week by calling Hillary Clinton “a blonde Condoleezza.” Wrong historical reference, Hugo. Think Evita instead.

Hugo Chavez proved just how out of touch he is this week by calling Hillary Clinton “a blonde Condoleezza.” Wrong historical reference, Hugo. Think Evita instead.

Reuters has the misogynistic details:

Venezuela’s President Hugo mocked U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Friday as a “blond” version of her predecessor, and said a row with Spain over alleged links with rebel groups was over.

Visiting Latin America this week, Clinton said the Obama administration’s policies towards the region were helping blunt the criticism of the United States by leftist leaders like Chavez.

“To me, she’s like Condoleezza Rice … a blond Condoleezza,” said the Venezuelan, referring to former U.S. president George W. Bush’s secretary of state, with whom he exchanged frequent harsh words at long-distance.

Citing comments by Clinton in Brazil, Chavez said she was proving to be equally aggressive. “She comes to Brazil to provoke us, to try and divide us from our brothers.”

Just remember one thing, Hugo. The blonde is from a bottle. If you really wanted to be accurate you would have said Hillary is “a gray Condoleezza.”

Source: Reuters

Democrat congressman retires, accused of sexually harassing his male staff’s male staff

Attention, bloggers. You now have official internet permission to break out all those old Barney Frank jokes and re-word them so they work for first-term New York Congressman Eric Massa.

Eric Massa (D-Fire Island) is retiring from Congress

Attention, bloggers. You now have official internet permission to break out all those old Barney Frank jokes and re-word them so they work for first-term New York Congressman Eric Massa.

Massa announced Wednesday that he won’t stand for re-election because the job is endangering his health. Doctors supposedly warned him that he cannot continue to “run at 100 miles an hour.”

Not so fast. (See how clever that was. That last paragraph ended with “100 miles per hour” and this paragraph started with “not so fast.” Damned amusing, if we do say so ourselves.)

It’s been alleged that Massa, who is married and has two children, sexually harassed a man on his staff.

Uh-oh. Politico has more of the salacious details:

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) subsequently confirmed Wednesday that the Democratic leadership had been informed of the allegations before the news broke.

“I’ve heard of that allegation before,” he said. “I had some indication, yes, but I don’t want to go beyond that. And my presumption (is) it’s being pursued in the course of business.”

Massa told POLITICO early Wednesday afternoon that no one has brought allegations of misconduct to him.

Asked specifically about the sexual harassment allegations, he said: “When someone makes a decision to leave Congress, everybody says everything. I have health issues. I’ll talk about it [later].”

Massa has suffered from non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. On a conference call with reporters Wednesday afternoon, he said he was hospitalized in December and that his doctors made it clear to him that he needed to slow down. He denied that he was retiring because of a sexual harassment claim.

“Do I or have I ever used salty language when I’m angry, especially in the privacy of my inner office or even at home? Yes, I have, and I have apologized to those where it’s appropriate,” Massa said. “But those kinds of articles, unsubstantiated without fact or backing, are a symptom of what’s wrong with this city.”

Please, God, never let us hear the story that the Congressman loved acting out slave scenarios while screaming, “Call me Massa, damn it! Call me Massa!”

Source: Politico.com

“Test yourself on the sidewalk before you test yourself in the bedroom”

This is not a story of great political import. It’s a story about having sex after a heart attack. We’ve read the it a dozen times and can’t figure out what that headline quote means.

Another reason to hope you never have a heart attack

This is not a story of great political import. It’s a story about having sex after a heart attack. We’ve read the it a dozen times and can’t figure out what that headline quote means.

New Hampshire’s WMUR-TV reports the seemingly sordid details:

Experts say the belief that sexual activities can lead to a second heart attack consists of a little bit of truth, but research suggests that it is largely exaggerated. People can have sex after their heart attacks. In fact, the more you exercise–including having sex–the better your odds.

As a safety precaution, “You sort of have to test yourself on the sidewalk before you test yourself in the bedroom,” says Dr. Gerald W. Neuberg, cardiologist and director of the intensive care unit at New York-Presbyterian Hospital.

“We know how this must look, your Honor, but it was doctor’s orders.”

Source: WMUR.com

The snowiest decade on record was…?

Evil climate denier Anthony Watt says 2001-2010 was the world’s snowiest decade in, well, decades. And Rutgers University has the stats to back him up. But Al Gore says you should just ignore all that fluffy white stuff you’re up to your ass in.

Evil climate denier Anthony Watt says 2001-2010 was the world’s snowiest decade in, well, decades. And Rutgers University has the stats to back him up. But Al Gore says you should just ignore all that fluffy white stuff you’re up to your ass in.

“Just as it’s important not to miss the forest for the trees, neither should we miss the climate for the snowstorm,” Gore wrote in a wonky Op-Ed for The New York Times.

“The heavy snowfalls this month have been used as fodder for ridicule by those who argue that global warming is a myth,” he acknowledged.

“Yet scientists have long pointed out that warmer global temperatures have been increasing the rate of evaporation from the oceans,” he wrote. And that puts “significantly more moisture into the atmosphere – thus causing heavier downfalls of both rain and snow.”

Unfortunately for the Goracle, Watt and the Rutgers University Global Snow Lab respectfully disagree. At least we think it was respectful.

“Now that we have reached the end of the meteorological winter (December-February,) Rutgers University Global Snow Lab numbers (1967-2010) show that the just completed decade (2001-2010) had the snowiest Northern Hemisphere winters on record. The just completed winter was also the second snowiest on record, exceeded only by 1978. Average winter snow extent during the past decade was greater than 45,500,000 km2, beating out the 1960s by about 70,000 km2, and beating out the 1990s by nearly 1,000,000 km2. The bar chart below shows average winter snow extent for each decade going back to the late 1960s.”

Who’s your money on?

Source: New York Daily News, WattsUpWithThat.com

Michael Moore learns an ugly lesson: the media ignores you when you badmouth liberals

Cenk Uygur, one of liberal radio and TV’s self-designated Young Turks, interviewed corpulent corporation buster Michael Moore. What could go wrong?

Cenk Uygur, one of liberal radio and TV’s self-designated Young Turks, interviewed corpulent corporation buster Michael Moore. What could go wrong?

Moore: You know, I tell you, these Democrats are disgusting. Wimps and wusses and weasels. You know, get some spine. This is why I have to admire the Republicans. They at least stand for something. They at least have the courage of their convictions. They get elected to office, they come into town, and they go “Get outta my way, there’s a new sheriff in town. This is the way we’re doing things. Get outta here.” And then they do it. You know. I mean what they do is crazy. But dammit, they are good at it. We should take a page out of their book.

It was almost as if Moore realized he had bitten the hand that feeds him, so he quickly took a shot at conservative Glenn Beck.

Cenk: I couldn’t agree more with that. So to finish that thought, if you were, for example, Van Jones, how would you have responded to Glenn Beck?

Moore: Fuck off! That’s what I would have said. But again, you mentioned Glenn Beck, and of course, he’s the guy that’s called for my removal from the planet Earth.

Whew! That’s more like it, Michael. We were worried about you there for a second.

Source: The Young Turks

Reid and Pelosi are destroying jobs even faster than Obama can create or save them

These are your leaders, Democrats. These lunatics are spending trillions when they can’t comprehend millions or even thousands.

These are your leaders, Democrats. These lunatics are spending trillions when they can’t comprehend millions or even thousands.

Hillary’s new hair style makes her look absolutely angelic

Hey, don’t ask us to explain the photo caption. Ask the New York Times.

In case you can’t read the caption, it says: “Hillary Clinton and Chilean President Michelle Bachelet”

Hey, don’t ask us to explain the photo caption. Ask the New York Times.

In case you can’t read the caption, it says: “Hillary Clinton and Chilean President Michelle Bachelet”

Source: RegretTheError.com

Obama pissed. Obama pouting. Obama frustrated. Obama indignant. Repeat as necessary.

Perhaps we should have said, “Repeat ad nauseum.” Because as this CNN clip shows, when President Obama wasn’t talking at the healthcare summit, he was posing.

Perhaps we should have said, “Repeat ad nauseum.” Because as this CNN clip shows, when President Obama wasn’t talking at the healthcare summit, he was posing.

Source: NewsBusters.org

Congressman involved in sex scandal endorsed by governor involved in sex scandal

Here’s a campaign commercial by sex scandal-embroiled New York Congressman Eric Massa that features sex scandal-embroiled New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.

How did people expose corruption and/or stupidity before YouTube and the internet?

Here’s a campaign commercial by sex scandal-embroiled New York Congressman Eric Massa that features sex scandal-embroiled New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.

They’re going to “clean up waste, fraud, and abuse in government.” They have integrity. They have respect.

They’re the Batman and Robin of sex scandals. The Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid of corruption. The Laurel & Hardy of hards-on.

Chris Matthews flummoxed: Why did the Democrats dump Charlie Rangel like a pair of old shoes?

This clip epitomizes Chris Matthews’ problem as a TV host. He’s so far to the left that he can’t comprehend why Charlie Rangel is in trouble.

This clip epitomizes Chris Matthews’ problem as a TV host. He’s so far to the left that he can’t comprehend why Charlie Rangel is in trouble. Matthews is somehow able to convince himself that the corrupt congressman’s long list of fraudulent misdeeds couldn’t possibly have been the real reason he had to step down as Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee.

As Matthews spins liberal paranoia, he’s brought back to reality by Joe Conanson of the New York Observer:

Matthews: What is it that has led, for example, to the New York Times…I’m always skeptical of motive. Excuse me for that. I don’t think all journalism’s objective. Why have they been pounding this guy? Is it because of what he did or did he vote wrong on something?

Conanson: Well, Chris, I think it was journalism.

“Hmmmm, journalism,” Matthews thought to himself. “I’ve heard people use that word, but I’m not really sure what it is.”

Too weird to be true: TV sitcom predicted the Tiger Woods sex scandal five years ago

As you can see in this video, Yes, Dear predicted the Tiger Woods sex scandal all the way back in 2005.

Yes, Dear was one of the unfunniest sitcoms ever produced. Too be completely honest, it’s tied for unfunniest with every other sitcom that ever starred Anthony Clark. How does this guy keep landing jobs?

But we digress.

As you can see in this video, Yes, Dear predicted the Tiger Woods sex scandal all the way back in 2005.

Pretty damn freaky.

[True TV]

No wonder Obama hates Las Vegas. He can’t pick a winner

Yes, President Obama’s losing streak extends beyond mere politics to the wide world of sports.

"Michelle is gonna kill me when she finds out I lost her case of beer."

It all makes a bit of sense now.

First consider the fact that President Obama warned Americans several times to stay away from Las Vegas. Then consider the fact that he backed the losers in Massachusetts, Virginia, New Jersey and now in Vancouver.

Vancouver?

Yes, President Obama’s losing streak extends beyond mere politics to the wide world of sports.

Turns out President Obama placed a friendly wager with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper on the outcome of Sunday’s Olympic ice hockey gold medal game. Obama put up a case of Yuengling beer from a small brewery in Pennsylvania and Harper risked a case of Molson Canadian beer. (Sucker’s bet, Prime Minister Harper, because you risked the high octane Canadian beer for a chance to win watery American beer.)

That, of course, eliminated any possible chance for the gold medal that the American team may have had and Canada won the game 3-2 game in an exciting sudden death overtime period.

Enjoy your weak beer, Prime Minister Harper, while we suffer south of the border with a weak president.

Jon Stewart rips CNN host a new Sanchez

We’re not big Jon Stewart fans, but even a blind sow occasionally finds a truffle. Consider Stewart the sow. Consider CNN’s Rick Sanchez the truffle.

We’re not big Jon Stewart fans, but even a blind sow occasionally finds a truffle. Consider Stewart the sow. Consider CNN’s Rick Sanchez the truffle.

Let’s not give Stewart all the credit, though, because Sanchez’ performance was pretty damn hilarious on its own.

MSNBC host Dylan Ratigan loses his mind, but finds his bias

Dylan Ratigan lost his mind, but found his bias while “discussing” the tea party movement. Except for one thing – there really wasn’t much discussion. It was mostly Ratigan losing his friggin’ mind.

Dylan Ratigan lost his mind, but found his bias while “discussing” the tea party movement. Except for one thing – there really wasn’t much discussion. It was mostly Ratigan losing his friggin’ mind.

“I don’t want to continue with this. You’re wasting valuable oxygen. Can we cut off this man’s microphone? It was offensive. You’re offensive. Your treatment of my show as a vehicle to spread your propaganda, ignore my questions – offensive. And an indication of what is wrong with the dialog in this country – period. Not to mention a group that would accept Nazis and racists.”

What we love most is that Ratigan’s subject was Anger In America, yet he’s the one who got angry while his guest remained completely calm.

Yes, we hate the media.

Did James Cameron rip off Pocahontas to create Avatar?

And now comes a really interesting mashup that makes it look like James Cameron may have borrowed heavily from Disney’s Pocahontas, too.

There’s pretty convincing evidence that Avatar is a blatant rip-off a British graphic novel called Firekind. And equally convincing evidence that its a blatant rip-off of Dances With Wolves.

And now comes a really interesting mashup that makes it look like James Cameron may have borrowed heavily from Disney’s Pocahontas, too.

Call it “Pocahantas in Space.” Unless, of course, you want to call it “Dances With Wolves in Space” or “Firekind in Space.”

Source: ComicsAlliance.com, BigHollywood,com

Stupidest law ever: California legislature approves ‘Cuss Free Week’

California may be financially bankrupt, but that doesn’t mean it’s morally bankrupt. The state legislature proved that by approving a statewide “Cuss Free Week”.

Fox News has the all the stupid #$%&# details:

The resolution by Assemblyman Anthony Portantino, D-La Canada Flintridge, was inspired by a South Pasadena teenager, McKay Hatch, who founded a No Cussing Club at his junior high school in 2007. His efforts to stamp out profanity have generated international attention, with 35,000 members joining the No Cussing Club’s Web site.

Portantino said the California Legislature — known for imposing strict clean air and clean water laws — is the first state legislative body in the nation to consider a statewide profanity-free week.

Hatch, now 16, said he sees a link between cussing and drug use, bullying and other harmful behavior. A cuss-free world would be a more harmonious one, he said.

This poor kid could only have been raised in the People’s Republic of California.

Peace, love, happiness, fruit and granola for everyone.

And make it #%#$& snappy.

Source: Fox News

Obama says man cannot control nature. Except when there’s a hefty tax involved.

First clip: Obama announces that man cannot control nature. Especially if you’re talking about earthquakes.

Second clip: Obama announces that man can control nature. Especially if you’re talking about global warming.

If he can figure out how to do Quake-and-Trade, he’ll suddenly change his mind and decide we can control earthquakes, too.

That Magic Touch: Obama campaigns for Reid, Reid loses ground in polls

Proving once again that the magic touch is gone, President Obama’s campaign appearances for Harry Reid helped the popularity-challenged Senator lose ground among Nevada voters.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal reveals the depressing details:

During his whirlwind visit to Las Vegas two weeks ago, President Barack Obama mentioned U.S. Sen. Harry Reid by name four dozen times, gave him a big hug and talked him up as if he was a long-lost brother.

(IHTM Editor’s Note: Despite Obama’s assertion that Reid is a long-long brother, Reid does not appear to have a negro dialect. So we think the President may be mistaken.)

In remarks that could not have been more laudatory, Obama repeatedly characterized the veteran Democratic leader as a man “made of very strong stuff” who was making the right decisions for the state back in the nation’s capital.

But as Reid faces an uphill path to win re-election to a fifth Senate term, Obama’s enthusiastic endorsement does not appear to have improved the Senate majority leader’s standing among constituents, according to a new poll conducted for the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

Reid got no bounce from Obama’s visit on Feb. 19, when the president spoke highly of him at Green Valley High School and to business leaders at CityCenter, polling indicates.

A larger percentage of voters surveyed (17 percent) said they would be less likely to vote for Reid following the president’s visit than said they would be more likely to vote for him (7 percent). Seventy-five percent said Obama’s visit would have no effect on how they vote.

“Reid was not helped, and Obama was not any more popular than he was before he came to the state,” said Brad Coker, managing director at Mason-Dixon Polling & Research.

Based on Obama’s campaign successes in Virginia, Pennsylvania and Massachusetts, we eagerly anticipate his campaign tour prior to the November elections.

Go, Barack, go.

Source: Las Vegas Review-Journal

It’s a reconciliation nation

It’s a reconciliation nation and Barack Obama is the king.

We don’t know Maksim, but take a look at his site. Just our opinion, but we don’t think anyone on the internet can match his mad PhotoShop skills. He’s also a full blown pseudo-Communist, which is, of course, the best kind of Communist.

Source: iMaksim.com

Tofu burgers and tree hugs for everyone: Libs try to stop Mill Valley, California Tea Party

The lovely leftist enclave of Mill Valley, California is bracing for an onslaught of those crazy, violent tea partiers. One can barely imagine the horror this news might provoke in a town so liberal that it gave Barack Obama nearly 80% of its votes.

Into the belly of the beast: Mill Valley has a long history of lunatic liberal behavior

The lovely leftist enclave of Mill Valley, California is bracing for an onslaught of those crazy, violent tea partiers. One can barely imagine the horror this news might provoke in a town so liberal that it gave Barack Obama nearly 80% of its votes.

The Mill Valley (Calif.) Herald reports the stark terror that’s descended on the open-minded liberals who call Mill Valley home:

It’s an irony that doesn’t sit well with local resident Deborah Phelan, a former AP reporter who now works in public relations. Infuriated by the images and rhetoric employed by Tea Party groups across the nation, Phelan said city property should not play host to a right-wing get-together.

“We have young kids going there to swim, to go to classes,” Phelan said. “Do you want your kid to walk by a picture of the president of the U.S. with the horrible things they say about him?”

Phelan has appealed to city officials to cancel the event, but that appears unlikely. . . . Phelan nonetheless says she’ll keep seeking ways to stop the gathering from taking place in Mill Valley. “I feel our local government has to make a stand against this movement, which I view as seditious,” she said.

Always good to see liberals accepting divergent views. Makes you proud to be an American.

Source: Mill Valley Herald

Live like Rush: Now you can buy his Fifth Avenue penthouse for just $13,950,000

Talk radio titan Rush Limbaugh often complains about his treatment at the hands of New York city and state tax authorities. Now he’s put his Fifth Avenue penthouse up for sale and is cutting ties with the Empire State.

Talk radio titan Rush Limbaugh often complains about his treatment at the hands of New York city and state tax authorities. Now he’s put his Fifth Avenue penthouse up for sale and is cutting ties with the Empire State.

As Gawker.com reports:

Limbaugh promised that he’d sell his Manhattan apartment last March after the Paterson administration proposed raising taxes on New York residents who make more than $500,000 a year. (That wasn’t the first time he’d made the threat. On the eve of the 2008 presidential election, Limbaugh said he was “seriously considering selling it,” since “it may now become stupid to own any property there.”)

…The 20th-floor penthouse at 1049 Fifth Avenue, which Limbaugh purchased in 1994 under the name RH Trust (Rush’s middle name is Hudson) was officially listed two weeks ago for $13.95 million. And although he’s described the place on his radio show as “fashionable,” it’s doubtful that will be the word that comes to mind when you look at the photos below, which show off moldings of “hand painted gold leaf” and his “hand painted ceilings and walls” by “renowned artist” Richard Smith.

Jealousy is such an ugly thing, Gawker.

Don’t get us wrong. We’re not saying we like Rush’s taste in decorating. But we don’t like Gawker’s taste in stories, either, and you don’t see us complaining about that.

Source: Gawker.com

Nancy Pelosi was against corruption before she was in favor of it.

Back in 2004, Princess Pelosi insisted that House Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay needed to resign his post immediately after he was admonished for unethical behavior. Ahhhh, but times change. Now that Democrat Charlie Rangel has been reprimanded for ethics violations, the princess has done a 180. And ethics just aren’t that important to her anymore. They’re overrated.

Back in 2004, Princess Pelosi insisted that House Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay needed to resign his post immediately after he was admonished for unethical behavior.

Ahhhh, but times change. Now that Democrat Charlie Rangel has been reprimanded for ethics violations, the princess has done a 180. And ethics just aren’t that important to her anymore. They’re overrated.

As Pelosi says, “If standards are good, then double standards should be twice as good.”

Source: BluegrassPundit.com

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