Tag: Hillary Clinton

Obama administration saves or creates 630,239 jobs. 630,240 if you count Manual Zelaya’s job

Lost amid the exciting news that the American economy is roaring back to life and that the Obama administration is creating jobs like nobody’s business is the most important job of all – that of deposed Honduran President Manuel Zelaya.

Lost amid the exciting news that the American economy is roaring back to life and that the Obama administration is creating jobs like nobody’s business is the most important job of all – that of deposed Honduran President Manuel Zelaya.

Under increasing pressure from the Obama administration to violate its own constitution, Zelaya’s opponents have agreed to a U.S.-brokered deal that will return the legally-ousted would-be dictator to power four months after a coup forced him to leave the country.

We can only hope that this job, like most of the other jobs created by Obama’s so-called stimulus, is just a temporary one.

“The Path to 9/11” – The film the Clintons (still) don’t want you to see.

“The Path to 9/11,” a two-part five-hour miniseries, aired only once on ABC in 2006, yet is still not available on DVD. Why? The series was a $40 million investment for the network which drew 25 million viewers and received seven Emmy nominations. So why wouldn’t the network want to recoup its investment?

“The Path to 9/11,” a two-part five-hour miniseries, aired only once on ABC in 2006, yet is still not available on DVD.

Why? The series was a $40 million investment for the network which drew 25 million viewers and received seven Emmy nominations. So why wouldn’t the network want to recoup its investment?

The suppression and censorship appear to be due to pure politics and legacy-protection, primarily on behalf of the Clintons, although neither Bill Clinton nor George W. Bush came off in a particularly heroic light in the film.

As The Los Angeles Times reported in 2007, “the miniseries’ writer, Cyrus Nowrasteh, believes it’s crystal clear: Powerful forces are out to protect Bill Clinton’s presidential legacy and shield Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) from any potential collateral damage in her bid for the White House.

“Nowrasteh, also one of the miniseries’ many producers, said he was told by a top executive at ABC Studios that ‘if Hillary weren’t running for president, this wouldn’t be a problem.'”

Perhaps Hillary is still holding out hopes for the nomination in 2012. Otherwise this film certainly ought to be available by now.

Source: Los Angeles Times

Back off, al Qaeda. Hating Hillary is one job Americans don’t need to outsource.

It’s come to our attention that al Queda-linked forces in Somalia were plotting to attack Hillary Clinton during her recent stay in Kenya. How did we miss this story? Did it just slip under the radar during the excitement of the town halls?

Hillary shakes her considerable booty in Kenya, unaware that al Qaeda was plotting booticide
Hillary shakes her considerable booty in Kenya, unaware that al Qaeda was plotting booticide

It’s come to our attention that al Queda-linked forces in Somalia were plotting to attack Hillary Clinton during her recent stay in Kenya. How did we miss this story? Did it just slip under the radar during the excitement of the town halls?

Here’s how The Australian reports it:

A planned series of bomb attacks set to take place in Nairobi, the capital of neighbouring Kenya, while Mrs Clinton was there – one in the hotel where she was staying – was foiled at the last minute, media reports, citing senior security officials, said.

“Al-Qa’ida wanted to strike at the heart of Nairobi (while Mrs Clinton was here),” the senior security official was quoted as saying, adding that Kenyan authorities intercepted communications between the plotters in war-ravaged Somalia and their operatives in Nairobi, which has a large emigre Somali population.

Five suspected al-Shabaab terrorists were arrested, including a man believed to be a Somali carrying a Danish passport. The four other suspects seized, including a woman, had what appeared to be false Kenyan identity documents, according to the reports.

Back off, Bandar. Cool it, Kamal. Just because we don’t like Hillary doesn’t give you a free assassination pass.

If this represents an Al Queda attempt to ‘bond’ with normal Americans, maybe you could poke fun at Hillary’s pants suits. Or laugh at the way President Obama has completely marginalized her.

We don’t like to make threats, but if you don’t stop we’ll get ourselves a real Secretary of State.

Source: The Australian

– Written by Patrick Michael

Lockerbie liars: Brits say Obama and Clinton are lying sacks of…uh…let’s just leave it at liars

To sum it up, the Brits said of Obama and Clinton, “Hey, you stinkin’ liars, don’t complain that you didn’t know we were going to release the Lockerbie bomber. You guys were consulted every step of the way.”

The freed Lockerbie bomber celebrates his release and arrival in Libya with Muammar Gaddafi's son
The freed Lockerbie bomber celebrates his release and arrival in Libya with Muammar Gaddafi's son

“Obama and Clinton are stinkin’ lairs.” Brits being Brits, it sounded much more dignified when they said it. But linguists say that’s an American English translation of what they said in English English.

To sum it up, the Brits said, “Hey, you stinkin’ liars, don’t complain that you didn’t know we were going to release the Lockerbie bomber. You guys were consulted every step of the way.”

The UK Daily Mail reports a story that’s getting very little traction from the American media:

President Obama and the US Secretary of State fuelled a fierce American backlash against Britain, claiming Abdelbaset Al Megrahi should have been forced to serve out his jail sentence in Scotland – but a senior Whitehall aide said their reaction was ‘disingenuous’.

British officials claim Mr Obama and Mrs Clinton were kept informed at all stages of discussions concerning Megrahi’s return.

The officials say the Americans spoke out because they were taken aback by the row over Megrahi’s release, not because they did not know it was about to happen.

‘The US was kept fully in touch about everything that was going on with regard to Britain’s discussions with Libya in recent years and about Megrahi,’ said the Whitehall aide.

‘We would never do anything about Lockerbie without discussing it with the US. It is disingenuous of them to act as though Megrahi’s return was out of the blue.

‘They knew about our prisoner transfer agreement with Libya and they knew that the Scots were considering Megrahi’s case.’

And while he was at it, the President said barely knew Van Jones. Met him once. Maybe. In passing.

Most. Transparent. Administration. In. History.

Source: Daily Mail UK

America’s leading diplomat demonstrates the fine art of finesse

Yeah, we know it’s an old video clip, but we figure it never hurts to remind our fellow Americans exactly who represents them around the world.

What foreign nation could possibly resist this lovely charmer’s powers of persuasion. Why it’s no wonder all the world loves us now. Since January 20, that is.

In just the last week she bit the head off one Congolese student, then told a group of Nigerians not to worry about the corruption in their country, because it was just as bad in the United States.

Yeah, we know it’s an old video clip, but we figure it never hurts to remind our fellow Americans exactly who represents them around the world.

Hillary tells Nigerian audience that 2000 presidential election was rigged by Jeb Bush

Hillary Clinton has compared the Florida recount in our 2000 presidential election to the massive election fraud that runs rampant in Nigerian politics.

It’s been quite an African trip for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. First she erupted in anger when asked what her husband’s opinion on some issue (we don’t really remember what it was and don’t really care because it was so damn much fun to watch).

Now she’s upped the ante by comparing the Florida recount in our 2000 presidential election to the massive election fraud that runs rampant in Nigerian politics.

“In 2000, our presidential election came down to one state where the brother of the man running for President was the governor of the state,” she said. “So we have our problems too.”

Let’ just set that absurd comment aside and get to the important issues:

What’s with Hillary frantically rubbing her chest as she answers the question? Our guess is that a body language expert would say it was one of those nervous mannerisms that come out when someone is getting ready to lie.

Finally, we just want to hear the CNN babe pronounce the president of Nigeria’s name again.

It was kind of hot.

H/t: HotAir.com

Hillary Clinton is the Secretary of State. And don’t you forget it, damn it.

A Congolese translator, struggling to translate a Congolese student’s question, imply that Hillary is merely Bill’s puppet. She didn’t like that.

Looks like Hillary’s feeling a bit insecure about Bill’s recent adventure in North Korea.

A Congolese translator, struggling to translate a Congolese student’s question, made the mistake of asking, “What does Mr. Clinton think through the mouth of Mrs Clinton…?”

What’s that? Did that translator imply that Hillary is merely Bill’s puppet?
Continue reading “Hillary Clinton is the Secretary of State. And don’t you forget it, damn it.”

Headline of the Day
“Clinton begins Africa tour in Kenya”

“Clinton begins Africa tour in Kenya.” Do you think she’ll pick up her boss’s birth certificate while she’s there?

The Headline of the Day naturally gives rise to the Question of the Day: Do you think she’ll pick up her boss’s birth certificate while she’s there?

If Obama has his way, Hillary may soon swell the ranks of the unemployed

President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton don’t get along.

The President and the Secretary of State are going in opposite directions
The President and the Secretary of State are going in opposite directions

According to the LA Times (see update at bottom of article), President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton don’t get along. Didn’t see that comin’.

The two (one of the two being The One) disagree about democracy in Iran, Obama’s plan to thaw relations with Cuba, the Sudan, Syria, and probably about Hillary’s daily choice of pantsuits.

Obama recently responded to a heated argument with Clinton by curtailing her authority. He refused to let her hire Sidney Blumenthal as an advisor. He disinvited her to last month’s G-8 conference. And he sent Vice President Joe Biden on an important mission to Eastern Europe.



According to the Times, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel says that Clinton is on ‘thin ice.’

This certainly helps explain why Clinton has stockpiled more than $3,000,000 in her campaign coffers.

“In tonight’s play, Hillary Clinton plays the role of Bobby Kennedy and Barack Obama plays the role of Lyndon Johnson.”

Can’t wait for the next act.

Source: LA Times via Zimbio.com

Update: Someone from the LA Times just alerted us that the source for this article was not the LA Times, and in fact is a satirical article written by a blogger. Fooled us! Well, one thing for sure though, satire only really works when there is an element of truth behind the story, and Hillary and Barack do not exactly seeing eye-to-eye.

Rat deserting sinking ship: Why is the Secretary of State building her campaign fund?

Hillary Clinton’s massive campaign debt has quietly been paid off. And now she’s stockpiling cash. In fact, the former presidential candidate has socked away $3,000,000 in her campaign fund.

When the U.S.S. Obama goes down, Hillary Clinton will already be ashore, basking in the sunshine and ready to run
When the U.S.S. Obama goes down, Hillary Clinton will already be ashore, basking in the sunshine and ready to run

Hillary Clinton’s massive campaign debt has quietly been paid off. And now she’s stockpiling cash. In fact, the former presidential candidate has socked away $3,000,000 in her campaign fund.

Wait a sec. Did we say campaign fund?

The Secretary of State, who supposedly left politics behind when President Obama made her the nation’s top diplomat, said, “I’m now out of politics” and that future political office “is not anything that is at all on my radar screen.”

However, in addition to stockpiling cash, Hillary still has eight people working on her “former” campaign.

It may just be that Hillary reads the polls and is beginning to think we may be in the middle of a one-term presidency

Where’s that damn button? Hillary wants to reset America’s relationship with Barack Obama.

Source: LA Times

10 reasons Hillary Clinton is absolutely nothing like Chucky

TMZ.com recently noted that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton looks just Chucky, star of “Child’s Play” movies and its sequels. On behalf of Chucky, we must protest this vile comparison.

hillary-chucky

TMZ.com recently noted that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (left) looks just Chucky (right), star of “Child’s Play” movies and its sequels.

On behalf of Chucky, we must protest this vile comparison. Other than the striking resemblence between the two, they have virtually nothing in common.

In fact, here are ten ways they are completely unalike:

1. Chucky returned from the dead in “Bride of Chucky.” Hillary’s political career died forever when she lost to Barack Obama.

2. Chucky was killed in Chicago. Hillary was born in Chicago.

3. Chucky tries to frame the innocent, but Hillary tries to free the guilty.

4. Chucky became more human as the years went on.

5. Chucky killed a doctor in “Child’s Play.” Hillary killed healthcare in 1993.

6. Chucky has a heart (as revealed in “Child’s Play”).

7. Chucky is a demented doll. Hillary is not a doll.

8. Chucky electrocuted his girlfriend after she waited for him faithfully for eight years. Hillary shocked the world by staying with her husband after he was unfaithful to her.

9. Chucky blamed all his problems on an accomplice named Eddie Caputo. Hillary blames all her problems on a vast right wing conspiracy.

10. Chucky is evil incarnate. Hillary is…well…uhhh…what do you know…we could only come up with nine reasons.

Source: TMZ.com

How long until you start following the latest Obama fashion trend?

The One grew one. What about you?
The One grew one. What about you?

When President Obama made his speech in Cairo last week, people noticed something new, something now, something oh-so-Obama.

We’re referring to the wispy, but stylish ‘stache gracing his upper lip. Admittedly, it wasn’t the manliest mustache and it would have been more at home on a 15-year old boy.

Nevertheless, a new wispy mustache craze is sweeping Washington, DC. Everyone wants one because everyone wants to be just like the Greatest President In History. The literati, the glitterati, the cognoscenti. What about you?

It won’t be long before you’re no one without one.

As you can see, the trend is spreading faster than Swine Flu and it’s a lot less deadly.

Joe Biden mustache

Joe Biden

Next time Joe Biden puts his foot in his mouth, it will just call attention to the brand new Obama on his upper lip.

John Edwards with mustashe

John Edwards

John Edwards needed a new image. Who could resist voting for a guy sporting a suave ‘stache like this?

Continue reading “How long until you start following the latest Obama fashion trend?”

Reporters disgusted by Hillary Clinton sex scandal

Hillary offered State Department reporters her own "stimulus" package.
Hillary offered State Department reporters her own "stimulus" package.

Put yourself in this situation and imagine how horrified you’d be.

You’re a reporter. You’re assigned to cover the State Department. The White House gives you a special phone number so you can call in and listen to a Hillary Clinton conference call. You call the number expecting to hear Hillary and you hear:

“Do you have any hidden desires? Well, if you feel like getting nasty, you came to the right place.”

Luckily for any reporters with delicate stomachs, it wasn’t Hillary talking.

Someone at the White House screwed up gave reporters a phone number that was off by one digit. Instead of getting Hillary’s conference call, they called the “Swank” phone sex line.

The recording went on to say that Swank’s services would cost from $2.99 to $5.99 per minute.

Today’s world is full of frightening things. But none – absolutely none – are more frightening than the words “Hillary” and “pornography” in the same sentence.

Source: WashingtonExaminer.com

California congressman jumps all over Hillary Clinton

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was testifying in Congress yesterday. It wasn’t pretty.

When long-time conservative California Congressman Dana Rohrabacher asked her about former Vice President Dick Cheney’s request to release additional CIA interrogation documents, Hillary tried to deflect the question by saying, “I don’t find him to be a particularly reliable source of information.”

Rohrabacher jumped on her like a bulldog on a bone. It was a thing of beauty. What Rohrabacher did, not Hillary.

“Mademe Secretary, I asked you a specific question…we’re not asking your opinion of Dick Cheney…you want to maintain your credibility with us, what is your opinion on the release of those documents”

The woman didn’t answer, wouldn’t answer, couldn’t answer, all of the above.

Source: CNN via BluegrassPundit.com

Help pay off Hillary’s campaign debt, win tickets to American Idol (you can’t make this stuff up)

This space now available. C'mon, Hillary, this could be the most valuable advertising space in Washington, DC.
This space now available. C'mon, Hillary, this could be the most valuable advertising space in Washington, DC.

Hillary’s still buried in debt from her failed presidential run. She needs to pay Bill back for the millions of dollars he loaned to her campaign. So James Carville sent this remarkably cheesy email to Hillary’s supporters.

The bottom line is simple: Send Hillary $5 and you could win one of three fabulous prizes. What kind of prizes? Well, Carville describes them as “truly once in a lifetime.” Decide for yourself:

  • A day with President Clinton in New York. (Visit the Harlem office he himself rarely visits. Learn his pick up technique in a downtown Manhattan bar. Listen to him tell stories of his days in the oral office.)
  • Lunch with James Carville and Paul Begala. (Yes, the ever modest Carville actually described having lunch with him as “a once in a lifetime” prize. Our guess would be that he has lunch every day.)
  • Tickets to the finale of American Idol. (The gay guy is really terrific and will undoubtedly win).

Unbelievable. Bill Clinton has made hundreds of millions of dollars since he left office and his wife is begging you for $5 donations. But we think they could easily offer some additional prizes. Such as:

  • A session with Hillary’s personal Botox specialist.
  • 90-seconds in the Lincoln Bedroom (pro-rated from the standard $100,000 per night)
  • Six months worth of advertising space on Paul Begala’s forehead (perfect for today’s cash-strapped business looking for a creative way to advertise)

Click thumbnail to enlarge Carville's pathetic email
Click thumbnail to enlarge Carville's pathetic email

C’mon, James, show a little creativity here. The money will come rolling in.

Now, don’t tell anyone over at the Hillary campaign website, but one of our staff here is on the Hillary Clinton Campaign mailing list and received one of these emails yesterday. We’d done image capture of it and you can see it by clicking on the thumbnail on the left here.

Source: WilshireAndWashington.com via Time

Julianne Moore to play Hillary Clinton. Massive make-up costs assure production will go over-budget?

If this woman can convince you she's Hillary Clinton, she's the greatest actress of all time.
If this woman can convince you she's Hillary Clinton, she's the greatest actress of all time.
This is one of the strangest casting decisions in the history of Hollywood.

Julianne Moore, who is an exceptionally hot actress, has signed on to play Hillary Clinton, who has an exceptionally hot temper. That’s the only connection we could find between the two.

The new movie will be called Special Relationship and will also star Dennis Quaid as former President Bill Clinton.

“This is a big role for both of them,” said one insider. “Playing Hillary, a wife who stands by her unfaithful husband, will be something she can get her teeth stuck into.”

“That’s not right,” Bill must have thought, “Hillary doesn’t have teeth. She has fangs.”

Source: Huffington Post

“Hillary: The Movie” – Will the Supreme Court give it thumbs up or thumbs down?

The Supreme Court has agreed to review a case involving “Hillary: The Movie.”

“The outcome of this case,” producer David Bossie said, “will dictate how we’re able to make films and educate people about them.”

Bossie’s movie was released while Hillary Clinton was running for the Democratic presidential nomination. He wanted to run TV commercials in key states during the primaries and show the movie on cable TV. But federal courts said no and said “Hillary: The Movie” violated campaign finance regulations because it was nothing more than an attack ad.

Bossie’s group, Citizens United, appealed to the Supreme Court, saying the film is a documentary comparable to TV news programs such as “60 Minutes.”

This could wreak havoc on President Obama’s stimulus plan. Sure, there’s plenty of money to bail out the banks, no one can afford nine tickets to the movies these days.

Source: Fox News

Hillary presses “restart” button with Russians, restarts Khruschev era

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhXwcn3BksA America voted for hope and change. We just hope they like the change they’re getting.

According to CNN, the Russian government just announced that they may base long-range bombers in Cuba for the first time since the 1962 Cuban Missle Crisis.

When Secretary of State Hillary Clinton presented her Russian counterpart with a special “Restart” button this week, he apparently took it as a sign his government could restart the Cold War.

Next thing you know, Vladimir Putin will channel Nikita Khruschev, show up at the United Nations, start pounding his shoe on the podium, and threaten to bury us.

You really need to upgrade your hiring process, President Obama. Next time you need a Secretary of State, may we suggest Craig’s List?

American media ignores bungling Obama, British media irate

President Obama bungled meetings this week with America’s most important ally. The British are irate about it.

First, Obama unceremoniously returned a bust of Winston Chuchill the Brits had given to President Bush right after 9-11. Then, he snubbed Prime Minister Gordon Brown by deciding he wasn’t important enough to merit a joint press conference. Finally, after Brown was thoughtful enough to present Obama with a beautiful pen holder hand-carved from a plank from a former anti-slavery ship, Obama reciprocated by giving Brown a collection of DVDs.

The Brits are up in arms. Editorial after editorial and article after article has ripped Obama’s trashing of the “special relationship” the two countries share. But the story has been ignored by the adoring American media. For example, a Google News search for “Obama, “British,” and “25 DVDs” turns up a mere 21 stories, including reprints in various publications.

We can’t even say it’s a case of conservative-liberal bias, because a search for “Hillary,” “Europe,” and “reset” turns up 249,000 stories and her gaffe only happened on Friday. No, this is strictly a case of the media protecting its investment in Barack Obama.

But perhaps we shouldn’t really blame the American media. They had plenty of other important stories that needed covering this week. Like Octomom. Has she had anymore kids yet? And Michelle. Is she wearing sleeves today?

Gordon Brown may be rethinking his earlier comments in this video.

Clinton invades Biden’s turf, screws up twice in one day

Poor Joe Biden. Just when the verbally-challenged vice president thought he had secured his position as the administration’s buffoon-in-chief, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has called his bluff.

Clinton gave Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov a present today that was meant to symbolize President Obama’s promise to “press the reset button” on Russo-American relations.

When Lavrov unwrapped the gift, he found a big, red push button imprinted with a Russian word “peregruzka.”

“We worked hard to get the right Russian word,” Clinton joked. “Do you think we got it?”



“You got it wrong,” Lavrov said. He told Clinton the word on the button actually meant “overcharge.” 



Hilarity ensued. Clinton cackled her phoniest demonic laugh and Lavrov laughed the rich, full laugh of a used car dealer about to unload a lemon at full retail.

“Damn it,” Hillary thought to herself, “I wonder how you say ‘$%#& Obama’ in Russian.”

Hillary makes mistakes, Reuters makes excuses

Hillary Clinton
The media searches for Republican gaffes, but searches for excuses for Hillary's gaffes.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton got off to a rocky start in Europe yesterday when she mispronounced the names of her European counterparts and then followed that up by re-writing history.

But never fear. Reuters excused the accident prone Secretary of State’s gaffes with these two paragraphs:

“Clinton has set herself a grueling pace on visits to Egypt, Israel and Brussels soon after touring the Far East, attending dozens of meetings and giving speech after speech, with little time worked into her schedule for sleep.”

“Tiredness appeared to show Friday when she answered questions in front of 500 young Europeans at the European Parliament…”

Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State and Secretary of Misstatement.

Source: Reuters

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