Author: editor

Loser lefty talker wants Limbaugh to die

mike_malloyThe bad news is that Mike Malloy, perhaps the world’s most vile talk show host, actually said he wants Rush Limbaugh to die.

“Some horrifyingly intense America-hater like Rush Limbaugh, who appears to be morphing into, seriously, he is morphing into Jabba the Hutt. Um, I’ve seen some recent video, this guy is enormous. He just keeps bloating up. It’s, it’s just, I hope he keeps going because that means he will soon croak. Like I said, eventually, he will choke to death on his own throat fat.” (Click here for audio)

The good news is that no one heard him say it. Malloy’s program is carried by only 12 affiliates, some in markets so small they’re ignored by rating services. Rush is on more than 600 stations and probably has more listeners on one station (KFI in Los Angeles, for example) than all of Malloy’s listeners combined.

Malloy is an insignificant pimple on Rush’s butt. Not a pretty thought, but also not inaccurate.

Why tax-dodgin’ Tom Daschle needs a limo and chauffeur

Suddenly, we feel bad for tax-dodgin’ Tom Daschle. Maybe we should all just cut him a little slack.

We just learned that he was such a dedicated public servant during his days in Washington, DC that he drove an old junker instead of buying a new car. Here’s one of his old campaign commercials to prove what a hard-working, stand-up guy he was is.

“Maybe he’s sentimental,” the voiceover intones, “Or just cheap. Whatever the case, isn’t it too bad that Washington doesn’t understand that a penny saved is a penny earned?”

We can all learn a lesson from Tom Daschle: Your money goes much further when you don’t pay a penny in taxes.

Watch the commercial. Laugh at it knowing that this pompous ass has finally been exposed.

Jim Cramer compares Obama to Lenin

cramer_leninCNBC “Mad Money” host Jim Cramer sees some scary similarities between the words of President Obama and those of communist revolutionary Vladimir Lenin.

Obama dogged Wall Street by saying there would be a time “for them to make profits, and there will be time for them to get bonuses. Now’s not that time. And that’s a message that I intend to send directly to them.”

Cramer made this comparison: “There was a little snippet last week that was, ‘Now is not the time for profits.’ Look – in Lenin’s book, “What Is to Be Done,” is simple text of what I always though was for the communists. It was remarkable to hear very similar language from ‘What Is to Be Done?’ which is we have no place for profits.”

What’s really frightening about this whole thing is that we find ourselves agreeing with Cramer.

But it’s not something we’re proud of.

Chick fight! Ashley Judd vs. Sarah Palin

Take that Sarah!
Ashley has the first move on Sarah but the fight is not over yet!

Oh, this should be good. Really good. One of Hollywood’s hottest actresses versus America’s hottest governor.

Actress Ashley Judd and Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund have teamed up to target Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s environmental record. They’re upset because Palin allegedly promotes the aerial killing of wolves in Alaska.

“It is time,” Judd says, “to stop Sarah Palin and stop this senseless savagery.”

We have a deeply held belief that all disputes should be settled through civil discourse. To advance that cause, we believe the only way for Judd and Palin to resolve their dispute is a mud wrestling match. We’ll referee.

Please send our Nobel Peace Prize to us in care of IHateTheMedia.com.

Streisand says Obama is intelligent and smart

dumb_and_dumber1This may be obvious and apparent, but Barbra Streisand is redundant and repetitive.

“It was the most thrilling thing to watch this man Obama, Barack Obama, become the president of United States,” Streisand said. “It’s such a wonderful thing for our country and our world. He’s so intelligent and so smart.”

She made her reiterative comment while promoting the DVD release of her 25-year old flopped and failed movie Yentl.

Barbra Streisand, nutcase. But now that we think about it, that seems to be a little redundant, too.

NEWS FLASH: NY Times discovers McCain a war hero, Barack a liberal 


In Saturday’s “Pentagon Memo,” NY Times reporter Elisabeth Bumiller reveals news sure to come as a revelation to readers of the Times.

“The military is not a monolith,” Bumiller reported, “but it is safe to say that Mr. Obama was not its candidate in the 2008 election. His antiwar comments ignited the left but struck many in the armed services as naïve. His Republican opponent, Senator John McCain, was a war hero.”

Obama’s a liberal? McCain’s a war hero? Good grief, man, this is one of the greatest coups in the history of investigative journalism. Eat your hearts out, Woodward & Bernstein. Start engraving the Pulitzer Prizes.

This kind of scoop could turn around the election. What’s that? The election is over? Obama’s already been sworn in as president?

Thanks a lot New York Times. Thanks a lot.

Federal gas tax to increase $2.40/gallon?

"Hand it over. It's only another $2.40/gallon."
"Hand it over. It's only another $2.40/gallon."

If New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman has his way, gas taxes will go up. Way up. He wants to slap an additional $2.40 per gallon in taxes on top of the 18.4¢ you already pay.

“Today’s financial crisis is Obama’s 9/11,” Friedman wrote. “The public is ready to be mobilized. Obama is coming in with enormous popularity. This is his window of opportunity to impose a gas tax. And he could make it painless: offset the gas tax by lowering payroll taxes, or phase it in over two years at 10 cents a month.”

Do the math. 10 cents a month for two years. That’s an additional $2.40 per gallon.

Of course, that probably won’t bother Friedman. He married into a very wealthy family, reportedly lives in an 11,000 sq ft mansion on a lovely 7-1/2 acre estate in Bethesda, Maryland that’s valued at nearly $10,000,000.

“Obama takes the shirt off your back. CNN sells it back to you.”

cnn_shirtCNN is cashing in on Obama-mania by selling T-shirts that they modestly and impartially call “Some of the most historic shirts money can buy.” They’re the latest designs in their “CNN headline” shirts.

Take the one shown, for example. “Obama raises hand, lifts a nation,” it impartially proclaims. If you don’t like that one, maybe you’d prefer “Obama’s era of change arrives.” Or “Obama fever spreads around the world.” Or a dozen or so different Obama designs.

This is such a good idea that we’d like to suggest a few lines for additional Obama/CNN T-shirts:

“Obama. He lifted a finger and screwed the coal industry.”

“Obama. He never met Bill Ayers. Really.”

“Obama. We worship the water he walks on.”

Wait. Here’ a better idea. Go to our IHateTheMedia.com store and buy some of our non-Obama T-shirts. It’s a much better way to spend your hard-earned money.

Neil Young to release worst album in history of music

You won’t get much of an argument from anyone if you say Neil Young is the worst singer in the history of rock ‘n roll.

Yet despite this seemingly insurmountable handicap, he’s managed to produce a couple pretty good songs over the years.

But now the aging rocker is about to release a CD completely dedicated to songs about electric cars. That’s not a typo. Electric cars. “Fork in the Road” includes catchy titles like “Cough Up the Bucks,” “Hit the Road,” “Get Around” and “Fuel Line.”

Here’s a video of the title track. Consider yourself warned.

LA Times letter: Pope was trained by Hitler

If we ran a story as vile as the following letter that ran in the LA Times today, we’d be hounded off the internet. And rightfully so. Here it is:

“The Jesuits have a saying, ‘Give me the boy until he is 7, and I will give you the man.’ You can now add, ‘Give Adolf Hitler the boy until he is 7, and he will give you the pope.’”

– Ralph Wetterhahn, Long Beach

The Times is obviously suffering from social schizophrenia. On one hand, its reporting seems to be virulently anti-Catholic. On the other hand, it supports illegal aliens at every turn, despite the fact that they are assumed to be overwhelmingly Catholic.

Must be like the war in Iraq. They support the troops, but not the mission.

Did Bob Schieffer say Republicans are racist?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYK3it70uCEThe word “racist” may not have passed Bob Schieffer’s lips, but that certainly seemed to be the implication of his commentary on Sunday’s Face the Nation.

While talking about Michael Steele, former Maryland Lieutenant Governor and newly-elected chairman of the Republican National Committee, he said:

“So it was that the party of Lincoln which had freed the slaves, but in the process had become the party of mainly white people, came full circle and turned to an African-American Moses to lead it out of the political wilderness.”

So from Schieffer’s point of view, the party that held the presidency until two weeks ago now needs to be lead out of the wilderness.

We’ve seen Charlton Heston in “The Ten Commandments” about a thousand times, so we consider ourselves to be highly-trained biblical scholars. And we have one question for Schieffer:

If Steele is Moses, doesn’t that make Obama the pharaoh?

Obama gives Wall Street a tongue-lashing. Barney Frank jealous?

obama_madBarack Obama is a man of the people. You can tell because CBS news said so. Here’s how they reported Obama’s angry reaction to big bonuses on Wall Street.

“For a man who prides himself on being cool,” said Early Show correspondent Jeff Glor, “this was a rare flash of anger, if planned. A tongue-lashing directly from the Oval Office, which is indicating now they will look to change the rules if Wall Street doesn’t itself.”

“…firms gave out $18.4 billion in bonuses to New York-based employees last year the same year the Dow Jones caved in 33%,” Glor continued. “And yes, a lot of the bonus money came from T.A.R.P. government bailout funds, taxpayer dollars.”

When reporters asked Barney Frank what he thought of Obama’s tongue-lashing, he responded with a far away, dreamy look and mumbled something that sounded like, “Be still, my heart.”

TV triplets bid $2,000,000 for octuplet story

photo by WoodlyWonderworks
photo by WoodlyWonderworks

Yes, we hate the media. With a passion. And this story demonstrates why.

Television’s talk triplets — Oprah Winfrey, ABC’s Diane Sawyer, and CBS’ Katie Couric — are reportedly involved in fierce negotiations for the first interview with Nadya Suleman. Her price tag is reportedly $2 million.

Of course, Suleman’s the wacky 33-year old California woman who recently gave birth to octuplets and is now the mother of 14 children under the age of 8.

No further comment necessary.

Obama tells advertisers to keep their hands off his face

Looks like the honeymoon is over for entrepreneurs trying to profit from the president’s image.

“Our lawyers are working on developing a policy that will protect the presidential image,” said a White House spokesperson, “while being careful not to squelch the overwhelming enthusiasm that the public has for the president.”

Obama’s “Yes We Can” campaign is being used to promote everything from do-it-yourself furniture to low-priced airfares. But our favorite is leftwing Ben & Jerry’s “Yes Pecan” ice cream flavor.

Too bad for us. We were just getting ready to launch a gazillion dollar ad campaign using that video of Obama flipping Hilary the bird. It just seems to perfectly express the philosophy at IHateTheMedia.com.

Back to the drawing boards for us.

Capone got prison, Daschle gets an appointment

XXXXX
Death is the only thing keeping notorious Chicago tax cheat Al Capone from joining the Obama administration.

When the Obama administration learned that Tom Daschle had cheated on his taxes, one administration official reportedly said, “He’s our kind of guy.”

Add up Daschle’s unreported income from the use of a luxury car and chauffeur in 2005, 2006 and 2007, unreported consulting income in 2007, and reductions in his charitable contributions, and the would-be head of Health & Human Services under-reported his income by $353,552.

Amazingly, Daschle suddenly got religion, filed amended tax returns, and paid $140,167 in unpaid taxes on January 2 of this year.

And that’s not the end of it. The Finance Committee staff still is reviewing other possible “under-reporting” of income by Daschle.

The Obama administration said they were 100% behind Daschle. But forensic accountants estimate the number is probably closer to 120%. Only an audit can reveal their real level of support.

CNN reports Hamas propaganda without comment

CNN, which rarely hesitates to share its opinions, issued a story Sunday in which the leader of Hamas praised Iran for helping them achieve “victory” over Israel in Gaza.

“The victory of the people of Gaza was a miracle of God and the Islamic Republic definitely has a share in this victory,” Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal said after meeting with Iran’s Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. CNN credits the quote to Iran’s Fars News Agency.

The only nod to reality in the lengthy article was the use of quotation marks around the word “victory” in its headline and again in the body of the story.

In related news, CNN issued a series of stories praising Custer for his victory at the Little Bighorn, Germany for its victory in World War II, and the Arizona Cardianals for their impressive victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII.

The Audacity of Dope. Obama’s brother busted for pot.

obama_dope

George Obama, half-brother of President Barack Obama, has been arrested and charged him with marijuana possession.

This is the same half-brother who several months ago was found to be living in a small shack in the slums of Nairobi. At the time, he said his annual income was less than $20.

The officer in charge of the investigation said Obama was arrested on charges of possession of cannabis (or “bhang” as its known in Kenya) and resisting arrest. He is scheduled to arraigned on Monday.

“They took me from my home,” he said from his jail cell, “I don’t know why they are charging me.”

“If Timothy Geithner can cheat on his taxes and become Secretary of the Treasury,” George could have said, “this should qualify me to become head of the Drug Enforcement Administration. I can start as soon as the trial is over.”

CBS reveals reasons for GOP opposition

Are you sitting down? If not, please do. Because we are about to say something so shocking you may drop over in a dead faint.

CBS has earned the distinction of being the first broadcast television network to list some of the outlandish spending provisions that caused Republicans in the house to unanimously vote against the so-called “stimulus” bill. Yes, you read that correctly. CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.

“The Republicans’ biggest complaint about the stimulus bill,” Harry Smith noted, “is it just gives Democrats an excuse to make government bigger.”

“If you are one of those taxpayers who does not want to spend $25 million to repair ATV trails, or $150 million for agricultural losses like damaged beehives,” reporter Wyatt Andrews stated, “then you’ll understand why no Republican supported the stimulus in the House and why most Republicans are trashing it in the Senate.”

“Anything that Congress couldn’t afford before,” Andrews continued, “$50 million to support the arts, or $70 million to help people stop smoking, has found its way into the stimulus now.”

CBS News providing actual news. Now that’s what we call news.

Bad times at the LA Times. Will the last one out the door kindly turn out the lights?

And the story hits home for the LA Times
And the story hits home for the LA Times

Does anyone remember when the Los Angeles Times was a great newspaper? Nah, we didn’t think so.

The paper has announced yet another round of lay-offs. This time it’s cutting 300 more jobs and will shrink the number of daily sections from five to four.

Democrats breathed a big sigh of relief when the Times announced that no cuts will be made to its slanted, irresponsible reporting.

“We owe it to the community to maintain our high level of biased reporting,” a Times spokesperson could have said. “For more than 100 years, Los Angeles has depended on The Times as its source for half-truths, blatant lies, and innuendo. That’s a responsibility we take very seriously.”

Do Bruce Springsteen a favor. Don’t buy his CD at Wal-Mart.

photo by Y0si
photo by Y0si

Bruce Springsteen now says he shouldn’t have made a deal to sell his greatest hits CD exclusively at Wal-Mart.

Fans criticized The Boss because Wal-Mart has been accused of unfair labor practices. Springsteen, on the other hand, has always supported workers’ rights.

“It was a mistake,” Springsteen said. “Our batting average is usually very good, but we missed that one. Fans will call you on that stuff, as it should be.”

Maybe The Boss has a point. Don’t buy his new CD at Wal-Mart. In fact, don’t buy it anywhere.

We’re here for you, Brucie.

You’ve been screwed by Barney Frank. And we have it all on video.

If you’re anything like us, you’ve probably wondered if there’s something network TV news hasn’t been telling us about the financial crisis. Like what really caused it. And who really caused it. CBS hasn’t told the whole story. Neither have ABC, NBC, CNN, nor MSNBC.

Luckily, we have Fox News. Here’s a tremendous video timeline put together by Fox News that shows exactly who did what to whom and when.

This video strips Barney Frank bare and exposes him to the world. (We sincerely apologize for the hideous images that sentence brings to mind.)

California do-gooders want to ban flat screen TVs

plasma_tvWe hate the media. You hate the media. But we love our TVs more than our wives. That’s why this story is so infuriating.

California regulators want to ban the sale of plasma and LCD TVs because “they use too much energy.” The new rules could cost the state up to $130 million in sales and income taxes annually. So if the greens get their way, they’ll drive the state even further into the red.

Sales of plasma and LCDs, which account for 90% of new TV sales, would be outlawed in California as soon as the rules go into effect.

In a really brilliant public relations move, they made this announcement just before the Super Bowl, the day when record numbers of Americans will be gathered around their new flat screen TVs.

By the way, we’re taking Arizona and the points.

Jimmy Carter has hot Hollywood groupie. Seriously. For real. We’re not kidding.

Consider this proof positive that Hollywood is on another planet. Actress Rene Zellweger, star of Jerry Maguire, has a crush on the worst president of the 20th century.

“I have a crush on Jimmy Carter,” Zellweger confesses. “I admit it. He has an extraordinary mind. He’s an exceptional human being. And he writes poetry, for crying out loud. He’s all good things.” Hell, she said everything except, “He had me at ‘malaise.’”

The delusional Zellweger claims she stood in line for more than two hours in bitterly cold Manhattan weather to have the former peanut farmer sign his latest book.

We’re pretty smart operators here at IHateTheMedia.com. So we quickly spotted the obvious flaw in this Hollywood story. No, not the part about the beautiful young actress being hot for a senile, shriveled old man. That’s par for the course in Hollywood.

What we don’t buy is the idea that enough people wanted this book to form a line 2-1/2 hours long.

Begala calls Limbaugh “a corpulent drug addict”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYBe2PUgHh8After former Maryland governor Michael Steele was named Republican National Committee chairman, CNN’s ever-pleasant Paul Begala said, “The real leader of the Republican Party in America today is a corpulent drug addict with an AM radio talk show, Rush Limbaugh.”

He continued by saying Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is “very bitter, and divisive,” that George W. Bush was a “spectacularly lazy president,” and “Obama is stylistically much more like Reagan.”

Then Begala said, “Look at the pretty birdies. I like the pretty birdies. The pretty birdies make me happy.” At which point his caretakers took him back to his nice, padded room.

Nancy Pelosi loves Obama’s package

She's never seen such a big package
She's never seen such a big package

An entry from Nancy Pelosi’s diary: “I couldn’t take my eyes off the tall, dark man across the room. I wasn’t ashamed of what I thought. ‘Barack has the biggest package I’ve ever seen. I know big pork when I see it. And I want Barack’s pork.'”

And then the House of Representatives voted and Nancy’s dream came true. She and her fellow Democrats passed the biggest, most pork-laden spending bill in the history of the world.

Immediately after the House of Representatives’ vote on President Obama’s stimulus package, the media began furiously spinning the results.

“Republicans voted along party lines.”

“Not one Republican voted for the president’s stimulus.”

“Republicans deny president’s bipartisan effort.”

The final tally? 177 Republicans and eleven Democrats voted “no.” 244 Democrats and zero Republicans voted in favor of the bill.

But Nancy didn’t care. She got her pork.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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