I didn’t say, “Give the cab driver a tit.” I said, “Give him a tip.”

Saudi women plan to turn a controversial fatwa (religious ruling) to their advantage and launch a campaign to achieve their long-standing demand to drive in this conservative kingdom. If the demand is not met, the women threatened to follow through the fatwa which allows them to breastfeed their drivers and turn them into their sons.

saudi cab driver fatwa
"Cab driver" is now the most sought-after job in Saudi Arabia

Saudi women have come up with a unique way to protest laws that prohibit them from driving.

QatarLiving.com keeps you abreast of the news:

Saudi women plan to turn a controversial fatwa (religious ruling) to their advantage and launch a campaign to achieve their long-standing demand to drive in this conservative kingdom. If the demand is not met, the women threatened to follow through the fatwa which allows them to breastfeed their drivers and turn them into their sons.

The campaign will be launched under the slogan: “We either be allowed to drive or breastfeed foreigners,” a journalist told Gulf News. Amal Zahid said that their decision follows a fatwa issued by a renowned scholar which said that Saudi women can breastfeed their foreign drivers for them to become their sons.

The renowned scholar said Saudi women can breastfeed their foreign drivers for them to be become their sons and brothers to their daughters. Under this relationship, foreign drivers can mix freely with all members of the family without breaking the Islamic rule which does not allow mixing of genders. Breast milk kinship is considered to be as good as a blood relationship in Islam. “A woman can breastfeed a mature man so that he becomes her son. In this way, he can mix with her and her daughters without violating the teachings of Islam,” the scholar said.

This news just in: New York City cab drivers have besieged city hall, demanding that a similar fatwa be issued in the Big Apple.

H/T: Weasel Zippers

Olbermann says, “Larry King wanted me on CNN.” President of CNN says, “Yeah, sure.”

The always modest Keith Olbermann used the occasion of Larry King’s retirement to do a little self-promotion. He tweeted a story about King being his second biggest fan (Olbermann, of course, is always his own biggest fan).

jon-klein-cnn-president
CNN President Jon Klein is smiling because he's not Keith Olbermann's boss

The always modest Keith Olbermann used the occasion of Larry King’s retirement to do a little self-promotion. He tweeted a story about King being his second biggest fan (Olbermann, of course, is always his own biggest fan).

Mediaite asked CNN/U.S. President Jon Klein about the story.

Mediaite: Last night Keith Olbermann tweeted: “Larry King is a lovely, generous man who tried, for eight years, to convince his bosses to hire me to be his 8 PM lead-in at CNN.” Is this true?
Klein: Well it didn’t work.
Mediaite: But is it true?
Klein: Larry’s got a million ideas a day.

Tranlation: “The senile old codger told a dozen other guys the same thing. Olbermann’s the only one who believed it.”

Source: Mediaite.com

Why did Al Gore resort to sexual assault when he could seduce any woman with his poetry?

Here’s all the proof you need to know that Al Gore is completely innocent of those bogus sexual assault charges in Portland.

Here’s all the proof you need to know that Al Gore is completely innocent of those bogus sexual assault charges in Portland.

In case you’ve forgotten, Gore is the poet laureate of global warming. All he’d have to do is recite a little of his coffee house poetry and any liberal woman would swoon.

In fact, based on this video clip, liberal men would swoon, too. Because if we’re not mistaken, Harry Smith gets a little damp upon hearing Gore’s seductive words.

CNN president destroys his own credibility by defending Eliot Spitzer’s

CNN President Jon Klein just hired disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer to do a prime-time show and now has to go out and publicly defend that boneheaded decision.

Be grateful that you’re not CNN President Jon Klein. His network has horrible ratings, his biggest star is a thousand years old, and his product is boooooring.

On top of that, he just hired disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer to do a prime-time show and now has to go out and publicly defend that boneheaded decision.

According to Klein, Spitzer has reformed himself. But as Howard Kurtz points out, CNN, which prides itself on its journalistic integrity…

(We’ll pause now while you chortle)

…has once again hired a host with zip, zero, nada journalistic experience.

Klein once disparaged bloggers as people who do their work in their pajamas in their living rooms, but seems to forget that Spitzer did his most notable work in the bedroom in his socks.

Obama says citizenship is not a matter of blood or birth. He didn’t mention birth certificates.

Contrary to what 234 years of history may say, President Obama said Thursday that when it comes to American citizenship, “It’s not a matter of blood or birth.”

Contrary to what 234 years of history may say, President Obama said Thursday that when it comes to American citizenship, “It’s not a matter of blood or birth.”
According to the new Obama definition of citizenship, anyone – everyone, really – on the face of the earth is an American if they simply have ‘”faith” and our “shared values.”

The problem with this definition is that we know we don’t share this guy’s values and considering the fact that he sat in Reverend Wright’s church for 20 years, we’re reasonably confident we don’t share his faith.

Does that mean we’re not Americans?

H/T: Bluegrass Pundit

Maybe it’s one of the 57 states Obama was talking about

“After Delaware, Portland’s my favorite state,” Joe Biden responded. “Rains too much for my taste, but they have a damn fine governor out there. God love him.”

sam-adams-portland-mayor
Congratulations to Portland mayor Sam Adams. The Associated Press has promoted him from mayor to governor.

According to the Associated Press,”Police in the US state of Portland are reopening an investigation into an Oregon massage therapist’s allegations that former vice-president Al Gore groped her at an upscale hotel in 2006.”

“After Delaware, Portland’s my favorite state,” Joe Biden responded. “Rains too much for my taste, but they have a damn fine governor out there. God love him.”

NOTE: Joe didn’t really say that. We made it up, but it sure sounds like something he would say if asked.

H/T: Tim Blair

With a straight face, Nancy Pelosi says, “Unemployment checks are the fastest way to create jobs”

Wow. Just wow. Nancy Pelosi on Thursday made herself the odds on favorite to win the award for “Stupidest Quote of 2010.” We realize we’re only half way through the year, but this one is going to be tough to beat.

Wow. Just wow. Nancy Pelosi on Thursday made herself the odds on favorite to win the award for “Stupidest Quote of 2010.” We realize we’re only half way through the year, but this one is going to be tough to beat.

In the words of Gateway Pundit, “Only a government bureaucrat would think paying someone for not working is a job creator.”

NOTE: As a result of the Botox injections, Nancy says everything with a straight face. So there is a possibility that she was making a joke, but no one could tell. One can only hope.

H/T: Bluegrass Pundit

Hmmm. Did Tom Brokaw just admit that he and Matt Lauer are Democrats?

It’s not like either talking head’s political affiliation is a state secret, but it’s still interesting to hear it admitted to on the air.

It’s not like either talking head’s political affiliation is a state secret, but it’s still interesting to hear it admitted to on the air.

In the middle of a discussion with the Today Show’s Matt Lauer, Tom Brokaw says, “A Western Governor said ‘We’re losing independents. He’s a Democrat – from our party.”

We tried to give Brokaw the benefit of the doubt by asking ourselves if he could have meant something else. For example, was “He’s a democrat” simply a poorly-placed independent clause? No. That makes no sense. If you remove that clause, you end up with “We’re losing independents from our party.” Obviously, that wasn’t the meaning, because if they’re independents, they’re not Democrats.

So the only remaining conclusion is that Brokaw was, in fact, admitting that he and Lauer are Democrats.

Watching all those old black and white Perry Mason reruns has really sharpened our powers of observation and deduction.

And, by the way, Della Street was kind of hot, wasn’t she?

Oprah loses 25% of her viewers. How’s that Obama endorsement working out?

Oprah is not going to go out on top. Last week was the lowest rated in the 24-year history of her show according to Nielsen.

oprah show ratings
Oprah made $300,000,000 last year. She can afford to lose a few viewers.

These are truly good days for conservative TV viewers. The other day we had the story that the network TV newscasts shed 1,000,000 viewers in the last year. Now it looks like Oprah’s Obama endorsement has come back to bite her ample butt.

The New York Post has the story of O’s devastating loss:

Oprah is not going to go out on top.

Last week was the lowest rated in the 24-year history of her show according to Nielsen.

“The Oprah Winfrey Show” has been in reruns for several weeks but compared to the same week last year — which was all reruns, too — the ratings were down an eye-watering 23 percent, according to tvbythenumbers.com, a ratings Web site.

The audience for Oprah was just over 4 million viewers — the lowest it has ever been since the show first went on the air in 1986.

Quick. Someone do a side-by-side comparision of Orpah’s TV ratings and Obama’s approval ratings. We’d guess the precipitous declines looks pretty similar.

It’s George Bush’s fault. We’re not sure how, but everything is George Bush’s fault.

Source: New York Post

Shocker: Al Sharpton’s listeners support Clarence Thomas and Supreme Court gun decision

Surprise. Al Sharpton and his listeners overwhelmingly support the Supreme Court decision upholding the right to bear arms.

You’d expect Al Sharpton’s response to the Supreme Court gun decision would be to dust off one of his old speeches blaming whitey for the violence in the black community blah-blah-blah.

Surprise. Sharpton and his listeners overwhelmingly support the decision.

The Radio Equalizer has Sharpton’s shocking statement:

Sharpton: I would say 90% of the calls I received yesterday were in support of the Supreme Court and people say they want to bear guns. They’re tired of the violence and it’s very very interesting. I have had a few on both sides today, but yesterday was overwhelming, it was stunning to me.

I just told Attorney Lou Meyers, lady stopped me last night; I did the commencement address at Boys and Girls High. She said I listen to your show Reverend and I want you to know I’m saved sanctified by feel of the Holy Ghost, but if they come in my house I’m going to drop them right where they stand. So, and she looked like she was in her eighties.

Sharpton probably isn’t too worried about guns in the black community. But what does scare him to death is the concept that his listeners may finally figure out that the Democrats don’t really represent their points of view.

H/T: RadioEqualizer

Whew! Global warming Armageddon postponed for 200 years!

2200? The global warming narrative has completely fallen apart. It used to be that they tried to scare us by saying our children would all die from global warming. Now it’s been delayed to our great, great, great, great, great grandchildren.

polar-bear-global-warming
The polar bears are saved! The polar bears are saved!

You pretty much knew the global warming scare was petering out when Al Gore bought a beach front house near Santa Barbara. Now global warming scientists have confirmed that the oceans won’t be lapping at his front door anytime soon.

The Independent UK has the hot news on global warming:

The 14 scientists, all experts in their fields of climate research, were asked about the probability of a tipping point being reached some time before 2200 if global warming continued on the course of the worst-case scenarios predicted by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

Nine of the fourteen scientists said that the chances of a tipping point for the high scenario were greater than 90 per cent, with only one saying that the chances were less than 50:50. At current rates of CO2 emissions, the world is on course for following the higher trajectory on global warming suggested by the IPCC.

2200? The global warming narrative has completely fallen apart. It used to be that they tried to scare us by saying our children would all die from global warming. Now it’s been delayed to our great, great, great, great, great grandchildren.

(By the way, we love the last line of that story. Doesn’t matter that even true global warming believers have indefinitely postponed Armageddon for 200 years, the Independent says things are even worse than the worst IPCC scare stories.)

Source: Independent UK

If you can’t dazzle them with bullshit, baffle them with brilliance. Or something like that.

We can no doubt be forgiven for guessing that The Greatest President In History borrowed a couple of the admen from the old Guinness commercials to write the mainstream media’s latest talking points.

We can no doubt be forgiven for guessing that The Greatest President In History borrowed a couple of the admen from the old Guinness commercials to write the mainstream media’s latest talking points.

After all, faced with a decision to replace the commanding general in Afghanistan that amounted to the equivalent of “hit yourself in the face with a shovel” versus “don’t hit yourself in the face with a shovel”, Obama has been hailed as brilliant by countless liberal media shills journalists for choosing the don’t hit yourself option.

So we can all count ourselves “brilliant” for remembering to wear pants this morning even if we were supposed to wear pants. Or for remembering to pick up our kids from school. Just brilliant.

Is it just us or has the bar for brilliance dropped just a tad since the last presidential election?

How to stop the Gusher in the Gulf

If there’s one man in the world with the ability to stop the Gusher in the Gulf, it’s MacGyver. Give that man a Swiss army knife, a roll of duct tape, a paper clip, a rubber band and a garden hose and he’ll plug that thing faster than President Obama can say, “It’s Bush’s fault.”

macgyver-oil-spill

If there’s one man in the world with the ability to stop the Gusher in the Gulf, it’s MacGyver. Give that man a Swiss army knife, a roll of duct tape, a paper clip, a rubber band and a garden hose and he’ll plug that thing faster than President Obama can say, “It’s Bush’s fault.”

Obama says, “You should be glad my economic policies haven’t caused even more damage.”

“Unemployment’s still at 9.6%,” the President said. “Yes, but it’s not 12 or 13 or 15.”

“Unemployment’s still at 9.6%,” the President said. “Yes, but it’s not 12 or 13 or 15.”

On a similar note, millions of gallons of oil have poured out of the Gusher in the Gulf. Yes, but it’s not billions.

(By the way, Mr. President, the unemployment rate is 9.7%, not 9.6%.)

H/T: Real Clear Politics

IHateTheMedia.com throws its full support behind Rep Steve King’s amnesty plan

Iowa Congressman Steve King has come up with a brilliant amnesty plan that even conservatives can happily endorse.

steve king amnesty plan
Under Steve King's amnesty plan, we'd get an illegal alien, but Mexico would get Nancy Pelosi.

Iowa Congressman Steve King has come up with a brilliant amnesty plan that even conservatives can happily endorse.

The Denver Post has details:

Northern Colorado residents gathered in support of Arizona’s new immigration law at a 9-12 Movement rally Saturday afternoon.

Iowa Congressman Steve King and former U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado headlined the “United We Stand Behind Arizona” event, which drew more than 100 people despite only two days’ notice.

…King said that under only one circumstance does he support amnesty for illegal immigrants: “Every time we give amnesty for an illegal alien, we deport a liberal.”

Seems like a fair trade. We’d even go 2-for-1 on Nancy Pelosi.

Source: Denver Post

Alert the death panel: Network newscasts lose another 1,000,000 viewers per night

Next time you hear one of the TV networks brag that they have “the number one rated newscast in America”, please be aware that it’s like saying you’re the fattest girl at the bulimics’ convention.

couric-williams-sawyer-lose-viewers

Next time you hear one of the TV networks brag that they have “the number one rated newscast in America”, please be aware that it’s like saying you’re the fattest girl at the bulimics’ convention.

MediaBistro.com has the disastrous details:

Even as the oil continues to gush from the sea floor, and the networks shuttle their anchors to points along the Gulf coast, NBC Nightly News, ABC World News and the CBS Evening News continue to lose viewers. All three broadcasts were down in Q2 2010 compared to the same period last year.

In numbers released today, NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams lost -440,000 viewers (-140k in A25-54 demo) compared to Q2 2009. ABC’s World News with Diane Sawyer lost -260,000 viewers (-80k demo) (Charlie Gibson was anchor in 2009). The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric lost the most, based on a percentage, losing -340,000 viewers (30k demo) compared to Q2 2009. ABC and CBS were also down when Q2 2008 is compared to Q2 2009.

And yet Fox News ratings just keep going up. Hmmmm. How can it be explained?

Source: MediaBistro.com

Franken doodle dandy

An Associated Press photographer got a shot over Frank’s shoulder that caught him drawing a damn nice likeness of Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions instead of paying attention to the testimony.

franken-doodle-kagan

Day One of the Elena Kagan hearings: Al Franken falls asleep. Day Two of the Elena Kagan hearings: Al Franken doodles.

An Associated Press photographer got a shot over Frank’s shoulder that caught him drawing a damn nice likeness of Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions instead of paying attention to the testimony.

Minnesota, you must be proud.

Source: StarTribune.com

Your tax dollars at work: $1.44 Million spent to study male prostitutes in Vietnam

Last year, we reported that congress had authorized $2.6 million to train Chinese hookers how to drink. Now we’re spending another $1.44 million to study male prostitutes in Vietnam.

congress whore house
The world's largest, most expensive whore house likes to fund research into prostitutes

Last year, we reported that congress had authorized $2.6 million to train Chinese hookers how to drink. Now we’re spending another $1.44 million to study male prostitutes in Vietnam.

You ask, “Why congress would fund so many research projects on prostitutes?” And we’d answer, “Professional courtesy.”

CNS News reports the screwed up story:

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), a component of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), has so far awarded $1.44 million in federal funds to a project that, among other things, is estimating the size of the population and examining the “social milieu” of male prostitutes in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

“In Study 1, formative ethnography will be used to describe the settings, venues, and overall social milieu in which male sex work is being situated,” says the NIH abstract for the grant. “In Study 2, we will conduct a Capture-Recapture Survey to estimate the size of the male sex worker population in each city.”

The grant project began in July 2008 and is scheduled to run through March 2012. In fiscal year 2008, the NIH awarded the project $534,201 in federal funds. In fiscal year 2009, the NIH awarded the project $465,974; and in fiscal year 2010, the NIH awarded the project $442,340. So far, a total of $1,442,515 in federal funds have been awarded to the project.

What are the odds that this research was funded while Larry Craig was still in office?

Source: CNSnews.com

Al Franken catches a little shut-eye during Elena Kagan’s opening statement

As our grandmothers used to say, “He’s just resting his eyes.” C’mon, Senator Franken, this thing’s going to go on for days. And days. And days.

As our grandmothers used to say, “He’s just resting his eyes.”

C’mon, Senator Franken, this thing’s going to go on for days. And days. And days.

If the woman puts you to sleep with her opening bullshit statement, what’s it going to be like when your colleagues start preening for the TV cameras and Kagan starts droning on with her rehearsed answers?

You might as well bring in a cot and a banky.

Another one of those darn oversights: Obama aide forgot to disclose $40,000 payout

It could happen to anyone. It just plain slipped Patrick Gaspard’s mind. You know, kind of like paying taxes slipped the minds of Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle.

patrick-gaspard-obama-back-taxes
Isn't that the same look Gary Coleman had on his face every time he said, "What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

It could happen to anyone. It just plain slipped Patrick Gaspard’s mind. You know, kind of like paying taxes slipped the minds of Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle.

Politico.com has details of the most transparent, but absent-minded administration in history:

President Barack Obama’s political director failed to disclose that he was slated to receive a nearly $40,000 payout from a large labor union while he was working in the White House.

Patrick Gaspard, who served as the political director for the Service Employees International Union local 1199, received $37,071.46 in “carried over leave and vacation” from the union in 2009, but he did not disclose the agreement to receive the payment on his financial disclosure forms filed with the White House.

In a section on his financial disclosure where agreements or arrangements for payment by a former employer must be disclosed, Gaspard checked a box indicating that he had nothing to report.

We must be getting old and the Alzheimer’s must be kicking in, because we can’t remember the last time we forgot receiving $40,000 in severance pay.

Source: Politico.com

Larry King Show going into suspendered animation, to end this fall after 25 years

Larry King announced on his website and at the beginning of his show Tuesday night that he’s ending his CNN program before the end of the year.

We’d like to say we didn’t see this coming, but a blind man could have seen this coming.

Larry King announced on his website and at the beginning of his show Tuesday night that he’s ending his CNN program before the end of the year.

Here’s King’s website statement:

Continue reading “Larry King Show going into suspendered animation, to end this fall after 25 years”

Mount Santelli erupts again: Rick screams “Stop spending! Stop spending! Stop spending!”

CNBCs Rick Santelli, who is often called the Father of the Tea Party, is at it again. This time he loudly and emphatically and repeatedly says the two little words so many of us want Washington, DC to hear.

CNBCs Rick Santelli, who is often called the Father of the Tea Party, is at it again. This time he loudly and emphatically and repeatedly says the two little words so many of us want Washington, DC to hear.

“Stop spending! Stop spending! Stop spending!”

History’s most inspirational leaders: Community organizers need not apply

One of the following quotes comes from an inspirational leader. The other comes from a successful community organizer.

churchill obama inspirational leaders One of the following quotes comes from an inspirational leader. The other comes from a successful community organizer.

“Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest hour.’ ”
– Winston Churchill on Germany, June 18, 1940

“I don’t have a crystal ball. I think that right now the debate surrounding Afghanistan is presented as either we get up and leave immediately because there’s no chance at a positive outcome, or we stay basically indefinitely and do quote unquote whatever it takes for as long as it takes.”
– Barack Obama on Afghanistan, June 27, 2010

It’s no wonder Obama returned that bust of Churchill to the British government. He couldn’t stand up to the withering glare it was giving him.

Source: Wall Street Journal

Help wanted: 1080 virgins, must be able to start immediately (15 jihadists just blew themselves up with their own bomb)

The demand for virgins is considerably higher in Afghanistan than it is in, say, Al Gore’s hotel room. And as long as idiot jihadists keep blowing themselves up with their own bombs, that situation should remain unchanged.

afghanistan jihadists blow themselves up
Another 15 jihadists have requisitioned their allotment of virgins

The demand for virgins is considerably higher in Afghanistan than it is in, say, Al Gore’s hotel room. And as long as idiot jihadists keep blowing themselves up with their own bombs, that situation should remain unchanged.

MonstersAndCritics.com has the details on the jihadists’ latest virgin requisition:

15 Islamists, including foreign fighters, have blown themselves up when the bombs they were building detonated prematurely inside an Afghan Mosque.

Eight Arab, five Pakistani and two Afghan militants were killed when bombs they were making exploded prematurely inside a mosque in eastern Afghanistan, the Interior Ministry said Sunday.

The insurgents were assembling bombs in Desi Mosque of Yousifkhela district in the south-eastern province of Paktika on Friday, the ministry said.

Pakika borders the Pakistani town of Wana, where Taliban militants are said to have training bases. Afghan officials have repeatedly blamed Islamabad for not doing enough to clamp down on cross-border infiltration by insurgents.

Got that? They blew themselves up while making bombs in a mosque. But if our troops were to storm that mosque, we would undoubtedly hear the dreary refrain that it was one of the holiest sites in all of Islam.

And holy it would appear to be, at least for those who worship wanton death and destruction.

Source: MonstersAndCritics.com

“Biden went off on me,” says the owner of the frozen custard store. “I was shocked.”

Scott Borkin is one lucky man. The owner of the Milwaukee area frozen custard shop who looked Joe Biden in the eye and said, “Lower our taxes” was damn lucky Biden didn’t go all ninja on him.

Scott Borkin is one lucky man. The owner of the Milwaukee area frozen custard shop who looked Joe Biden in the eye and said, “Lower our taxes” was damn lucky Biden didn’t go all ninja on him.

Borkin obviously forgot President Obama’s warning back in February, 2009, that “Nobody messes with Joe.”

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