Tag: CNN

CNN’s ratings in free fall! Look out below!

From Cable News Network to Clinton News Network to Communist News Network. Hmmmm. Could this having something to do with the decline in ratings?
From Cable News Network to Clinton News Network to Communist News Network. Hmmmm. Could this having something to do with the decline in ratings?
CNN’s ratings are collapsing even faster than Tim Geithner’s reputation.

The original cable news network now rests in fourth place in primetime – dead last – in the fierce fight for the coveted 25-to-54 demographic. On one recent night, they fell to fifth, trailing even CNBC.

Here’s how Portfolio.com explains CNN’s sad tale:

Through March 17, CNN trailed not only Fox News and MSNBC but also its own sister network, Headline News, on nine out of 17 days. On one day, March 13, CNN even drew fewer 25-to-54 viewers than CNBC — the first time that’s happened since November 2007. And of the eight days it finished higher than fourth in the demo, five were either Saturdays or Sundays, typically the lowest rated nights for the news networks.

Asked about the trend, a CNN spokeswoman offered a statement that emphasized the network’s long-term ratings growth — while ignoring the even sharper gains made by Fox News and MSNBC.

Blahblahblah. Let us sum this up for you simply: The lefter they go, the laster they get.

Source: Portfolio.com

Glenn Beck ratings skyrocket, Olbermann up, Maddow down, has anyone seen CNN?

Glenn Beck ratings at Fox News is the big story in cable news this week. He has leapfrogged Sean Hannity to #2. What was CNN thinking when the let this guy get away?

Note: here’s a more current article on the ratings: O’Reilly-Hannity-Beck go 1-2-3 in cable news ratings again, Fox destroys competition again

The biggest news in cable news this week is the remarkable rise of Glenn Beck at Fox.

Top 10 cable TV shows for 03/13/09His Friday night special drew huge numbers and leapfrogged his show above long-time #2 Sean Hannity. What was CNN thinking when the let this guy get away?

As for the rest of the cable news pack, some were up a little, some were down a little. And Larry King continues to be CNN’s last man standing.

The accompanying chart looks at the top 10 cable TV news shows for March 13, 2009.

Source: MediaBistro, Nielsen Media Research

CNN calls Limbaugh speech “angry, mocking, bullying, harsh, and full of contempt.” Yeah, but did they like it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rDncw6uQ_I width=300 height=188CNN political analyst Bill Schneider had a conniption fit over Rush Limbaugh’s CPAC speech last weekend.

In fact, we’re pretty sure we saw a little spittle forming at the corners of his mouth at the mere thought of Limbaugh.

“Well, this was a very angry speech,” Schneider seethed. “… The tone of this speech was mocking, bullying, it was full of contempt, and I thought it was a very harsh speech. One that while it rallied the conservative audience, also angered a lot of Democrats and people who aren’t particularly partisan just by the tone of it.”

Based on our keen powers of observation, we think this is what professional psychologists call “projecting.” And what amateur psychologists call “the pot calling the kettle black.” And what IHateTheMedia.com calls “Tough luck, Bill.”

You’re a Nazi, because CNN’s D. L. Hughley said so

You may not have known this, but if you’re a Republican, you’re a Nazi. At least that’s what CNN’s D.L. Hughley says.

You hate Jews, Gypsies, blacks, homosexuals, gays and damn near everyone else. You want to ship them all off in railroad cars to be starved, tortured and killed. Then you will dump their emaciated bodies in large piles. In your spare time you’ll invade Canada and Mexico in a mad quest for world domination.

“The tenets of the Republican Party are amazing and they seem warm and welcome,” Hughley said with a completely straight face. “But when I watch it be applied, like you didn’t have to go much further than the Republican National Convention….It literally look(s) like Nazi Germany.”

We thought we just wanted lower taxes and a smaller government. But D.L. Hughley’s on television, so he must be right.

CNN’s Castellanos says “Listening to Obama is like sex.” If only it were over as quickly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnDibuQM-g0A few weeks ago, we wrote about Nancy Pelosi and her lust for Obama’s “stimulus” package. But now CNN has given life to something we thought was parody.

On Sunday’s “State of the Union” show, Republican strategist, CNN contributor and nutcase Alex Castellanos said, “…A friend told me once that listening to Barack Obama give a speech is like sex. The worst there ever was, was excellent.”

We’ve always been ambivalent about sex education, but this statement leads us to conclude that America’s children are woefully ignorant when it comes to the reproductive sciences.

If only Obama’a speeches were over in two minutes like sex. Uhhh…like other people’s sex, we mean. Not ours. We are the studs of the universe and women swoon at our feet. Really.

if video is pulled, go directly to CNN here to view.

Toxic Janeane Garafalo compares Limbaugh to Manson & Hitler

janeane_garofalo_200x300Unfunny comedienne Janeane Garafalo showed up on Keith Olbermann’s show last night. She was as unfunny as ever, but Keith laughed Olber-maniacally anyway.

“The type of female that does like Rush is the same type of woman that falls in love with prisoners,” she said. After mentioning Richard Ramirez and Charles Manson, she continued by saying, “Eva Braun, Hitler’s girlfriend, that’s exactly the type of woman that responds really well to Rush.”

“(Former CNN anchor Daryn Kagan) dated him,” the ever-so-charming Garafalo whined, “so either she suffers from Stockholm Syndrome, a lot like Michael Steele, who’s the black guy in the Republican party who suffers from Stockholm Syndrome, which means you try and curry favor with the oppressor…any female or person of color in the Republican party is struggling with Stockholm Syndrome.”

Janeane Garafalo, equal opportunity hater.

Update: The Red Eye Crew has a good time ridiculing Garafalo (and Keith Olbermann) on this and related comments. It’s funnier than hell and worth watching. Includes video of Garafalo and Olbermann with their quotes.

CNN proclaims Michelle Obama cool, cooler, coolest first lady ever. Cool.

 

We’re not quite sure why CNN’s Showbiz Tonight has an “Obama Watch.” We must have missed the news report that said the Obamas are now part of show biz.

The video in this article is from last night’s Showbiz Tonight. Let us sum it up for you:

“Michelle Obama. Cool. Cooler. Coolest. So cool. Really cool. Super cool. Mega-cool. Coooooooool.”

The video is 4:53 long. We pulled these quotes out of the first two minutes. Then we had to stop watching. Just had to. Couldn’t take it anymore.

“She definitely gets cool points from me.”
“People want to emulate her.”
“People love the way she loves her husband.”
“This is really a breath of fresh air.”
“She’s absolutely relatable and people really like that about her.”
“She seems like a real person and I think people really appreciate that. I know I do.”
“Part of her cool factor is her style.”
“The first lady is setting style trends left and right.”
“Women everywhere want to dress like her.”

We doubt that you’re reading this last sentence. You probably stopped reading even quicker than we stopped watching.

King beats Olbermann, Fox beats everyone

Highlights of this week’s cable news ratings. Fox continues its run of dominant ratings thanks to growing dissatisfaction with the Keystone Kops administration in Washington, DC. Larry King topped Keith Olbermaniac. Rachel Maddow climbed back into the top ten dispite rather lackluster numbers.

Here’s a look at the top ten cable TV shows for February 11, 2009:

Network Program Total Audience
Fox News O’Reilly 3,494,000
Fox News Hannity 2,658,000
Fox News Beck 2,370,000
Fox News Baier 2,305,000
Fox News Shep Smith 2,190,000
Fox News Greta 1,847,000
CNN King 1,761,000
MSNBC Olbermann 1,485,000
CNN Cooper 1,286,000
CNN Blitzer 1,246,000
MSNBC Maddow 1,240,000

UPDATE: Math was never our strong suit. Looks like Maddow didn’t climb into the top ten after all. Her show was actually Number 11.

It’s hard work figuring out how many jobs Obama’s going to create. Or save. Or whatever.

It’s bad news when even CNN starts to figure out that Obama is waffling on his promises.

“There are now questions about how many jobs Mr. Obama is promising to create,” CNN’s Ed Henry said on Anderson Cooper’s show. He used three different video clips of Obama talking about job “creation” and each clip featured a different number.

“But Republicans are now wondering if the President has been hedging a little to scale back expectations,” Henry noted.

In related news, Obama said he would have troops out of Iraq in 18 months, or 24 months, or possibly 36 months. Maybe.

Christie Hefner named CNN economic centerfold of the month

Christie Hefner, daughter of doddering, octagenerian Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, has a new job. CNN announced this morning that she has been “added to our roster of economic analysts.”

Hefner breathlessly revealed her economic expertise by saying the “sense that I’m getting, in talking to CEOs, is that people are hoping for a late 2010 recovery.”

“I’ve proposed a special program called ‘The Anchors of CNN,’” Hefner might have said. “In a cost-cutting move, we’ve chosen Larry King as our first centerfold because he already had a staple in his belly.”

“I couldn’t be prouder,” said proud papa Hugh Hefner. “But can you remind me again who she is?”

“Obama takes the shirt off your back. CNN sells it back to you.”

cnn_shirtCNN is cashing in on Obama-mania by selling T-shirts that they modestly and impartially call “Some of the most historic shirts money can buy.” They’re the latest designs in their “CNN headline” shirts.

Take the one shown, for example. “Obama raises hand, lifts a nation,” it impartially proclaims. If you don’t like that one, maybe you’d prefer “Obama’s era of change arrives.” Or “Obama fever spreads around the world.” Or a dozen or so different Obama designs.

This is such a good idea that we’d like to suggest a few lines for additional Obama/CNN T-shirts:

“Obama. He lifted a finger and screwed the coal industry.”

“Obama. He never met Bill Ayers. Really.”

“Obama. We worship the water he walks on.”

Wait. Here’ a better idea. Go to our IHateTheMedia.com store and buy some of our non-Obama T-shirts. It’s a much better way to spend your hard-earned money.

CNN reports Hamas propaganda without comment

CNN, which rarely hesitates to share its opinions, issued a story Sunday in which the leader of Hamas praised Iran for helping them achieve “victory” over Israel in Gaza.

“The victory of the people of Gaza was a miracle of God and the Islamic Republic definitely has a share in this victory,” Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal said after meeting with Iran’s Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. CNN credits the quote to Iran’s Fars News Agency.

The only nod to reality in the lengthy article was the use of quotation marks around the word “victory” in its headline and again in the body of the story.

In related news, CNN issued a series of stories praising Custer for his victory at the Little Bighorn, Germany for its victory in World War II, and the Arizona Cardianals for their impressive victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII.

CBS reveals reasons for GOP opposition

Are you sitting down? If not, please do. Because we are about to say something so shocking you may drop over in a dead faint.

CBS has earned the distinction of being the first broadcast television network to list some of the outlandish spending provisions that caused Republicans in the house to unanimously vote against the so-called “stimulus” bill. Yes, you read that correctly. CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.

“The Republicans’ biggest complaint about the stimulus bill,” Harry Smith noted, “is it just gives Democrats an excuse to make government bigger.”

“If you are one of those taxpayers who does not want to spend $25 million to repair ATV trails, or $150 million for agricultural losses like damaged beehives,” reporter Wyatt Andrews stated, “then you’ll understand why no Republican supported the stimulus in the House and why most Republicans are trashing it in the Senate.”

“Anything that Congress couldn’t afford before,” Andrews continued, “$50 million to support the arts, or $70 million to help people stop smoking, has found its way into the stimulus now.”

CBS News providing actual news. Now that’s what we call news.

Begala calls Limbaugh “a corpulent drug addict”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYBe2PUgHh8After former Maryland governor Michael Steele was named Republican National Committee chairman, CNN’s ever-pleasant Paul Begala said, “The real leader of the Republican Party in America today is a corpulent drug addict with an AM radio talk show, Rush Limbaugh.”

He continued by saying Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is “very bitter, and divisive,” that George W. Bush was a “spectacularly lazy president,” and “Obama is stylistically much more like Reagan.”

Then Begala said, “Look at the pretty birdies. I like the pretty birdies. The pretty birdies make me happy.” At which point his caretakers took him back to his nice, padded room.

Rahm Emanuel makes daily, secret calls to media pals

Rahm uses his secure phone to call his media buddies
Rahm Emanuel cleverly uses his secure phone to make secret calls to his media pals

As the sun comes up each morning, Rahm Emanuel, Obama’s chief of staff, calls his pals in the media – CNN’s James Carville and Paul Begala, ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, and pollster Stan Greenberg.

That was no problem last month, but Emanuel is now President Obama’s Chief of Staff, and the calls have now taken on an air of conspiracy. Where’s the shock and outrage and the suggestion that Emanuel is coordinating media coverage?

From our perspective, two things surprise us about this story.

First, that no one has objected to this “cozy” relationship between the president’s chief of staff and members of the media.

And second, that Emanuel has four friends.

CNN’s Cafferty compares Pelosi to Chinese dictator

mao_posterizedCNN’s Jack Cafferty, referencing Nancy Pelosi’s plan to spend hundred of millions of dollars on contraceptives as a as an economic stimulus has compared her to infamous Chinese Communist dictator Mao Zedong.

“What exactly did she mean,” Cafferty asked. “Are millions of dollars for contraception supposed to stop people from having babies? [That’s] starting to sound a little like Chairman Mao.”

For the sake of historical accuracy, we feel compelled to point out the vast differences between Mao and Pelosi.

Number One – Mao killed more than 20,000,000 of his countrymen. Pelosi merely annoys hers.

Number Two – Mao never had plastic surgery. Pelosi has gone under the knife so often that she can no longer blink.

Number Three – Mao led his followers in the 10,000 Mile March. Pelosi couldn’t lead a horse to water.

CNN attacks Obama. Get me the smelling salts!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziUW5G6n054Lord almighty, hell hath frozen over. Campbell Brown, CNN news anchor, actually attacked the hypocrisy of the new Obama administration.

Here’s the background. Obama announced strict new rules banning lobbyists from his administration. Two days, he attempted to suspend those rules in order to appoint lobbyist William Lynn as Deputy Defense Secretary.

Brown said: “Really? Is this how it’s going to be? Please, please don’t make us all any more cynical than we already are, Mr. President. If you have no intention of abiding by your new rules, then don’t make new rules. That would be actual transparency.”

We appreciate Campbell’s candor and unbiased reporting. But Campbell, honey, we suggest you polish up your resume, because those comments will not sit well with the powers at CNN.

Anderson Cooper said what?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neh46EzE3TcWe love Anderson Cooper. That suave demeanor. That premature gray hair. That boyish charm.

But his performance after the inauguration was…well…it was…uh…uh…odd. Yeah, “odd” is a good description. Let’s just say his post-election performance wasn’t one of his best.

You don’t expect to see this many F-ups in a full season of Anderson Cooper 360. But every moment of this edited clip comes from young Andy’s show the day after the election.

Clear up some space on your mantle, Andy, because this clip will undoubtedly win you an Emmy.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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