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Global warming bullshit defeated by whale shit

IHateTheMedia.com is recognized around the world as your source for up-to-the-minute environmental news. And we’re happy to report that Andrew Bolt has uncovered yet another reason to save the whales

This video has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but if you’ve never seen the famous “exploding whale” video, you’re in for a treat. If you have seen it, you know you’ll enjoy seeing it again.

IHateTheMedia.com is recognized around the world as your source for up-to-the-minute environmental news. And we’re happy to report that Andrew Bolt has uncovered yet another reason to save the whales:

Australian and German researchers studying the defecation habits of the 12,000 sperm whales remaining in the Southern Ocean have found they act as an unusual way of removing carbon from the atmosphere.

In a paper published by the Royal Society, the researchers – headed by Trish Lavery of Flinders University – estimate the whales effectively remove about 240,000 tonnes more carbon than they produce, due to defecating about 50 tonnes of iron into the zone where photosynthesis occurs.

That stimulates phytoplankton to grow and trap carbon in the deep ocean.

As Rush Limbaugh has said, the best way to save endangered species is to eat them. That is, if you increase the demand for the animals, entrepreneurs will begin raising them in such great numbers that they will no longer be endangered.

Combine Lavery’s theory with Limbaugh’s theory and you’ll see that killing the whales will not only save the planet, it will save the whales. It will kill two birds with one stone. Or in this case, one harpoon.

H/T: Andrew Bolt

Now Obama administration argues in court that individual mandate really is a tax

Oh, how times change. Now the Obama Administration is arguing in court that the healthcare individual mandate really is a tax.

In case you’ve tried to block the whole ObamaCare debate from your mind, this video clip shows President Obama sternly correcting George Stephanopolous when the ABC host called the individual mandate “a tax.”

Oh, how times change. Now the administration is arguing in court that it really is a tax.

Spectator.org has the mind-boggling story:

Continue reading “Now Obama administration argues in court that individual mandate really is a tax”

Pakistani terror leader accidentally blows himself up. Does he qualify for the $5 million bounty on his head?

Oopsie! Qari Zafar, a commander of Pakistani militants, has accidentally punched his own one-way ticket to Paradise.

Oopsie! Qari Zafar, a commander of Pakistani militants, has accidentally punched his own one-way ticket to Paradise.

MSNBC reports on Zafar’s Self-Inflicted Virgin Tour 2010:

qari-zafar-terrorist-bounty
Qari Zafar has assumed room temperature, which coincidentally, is still about 98.6 degrees in Waziristan

Pakistani militant commander, Qari Zafar, who was allegedly involved in the attack on the U.S. consulate in Karachi on March 2, 2002, was killed by an explosive in North Waziristan a few days ago.

The United States had announced $5 million award for his capture. Zafar belonged to Lashkar-e-Jhangvi and was wanted by the government for several terrorist attacks in Pakistan, including masterminding the Marriott Hotel bombing.

His close aides confirmed he was killed as he touched some explosives dumped inside his guesthouse. Militant sources said a meeting of Punjabi Taliban was in progress in North Waziristan to choose his replacement.

All you ever hear is “If you die while committing jihad, you go to paradise and get 53 or 72 or 99 virgins (or whatever today’s number is). But we never hear them say “beautiful virgins.”

So we have a question about the whole virgin thing. What happens if you blow yourself up, get to Paradise and find out the reason your 99 virgins are virgins is that they’re so fat, ugly and repulsive that no one wanted them?

Does Allah allow do overs?

H/T: Weasel Zippers

Code Pink introduces new anti-war chant: “Obama, you pr*ck. You lied to us, you d*ck”

Those charming anti-war wackos from the ANSWER Coalition and Code Pink turned up at an Obama rally and introduced an new, all-purpose chant that could just as easily be used by protesters any Obama event. “Obama, you pr*ck. You lied to us, you d*ck.”

“No blood for oil” is so 2002. “Bush lied, soldiers died” is just plain passé.

Those charming anti-war wackos from the ANSWER Coalition and Code Pink turned up at an Obama rally and introduced an new, all-purpose chant that could just as easily be used by protesters any Obama event.

“Obama, you pr*ck. You lied to us, you d*ck.”

We can already hear it being used at anti-war protests, at anti-illegal immigration rallies, at anti-ObamaCare rallies, at virtually any event featuring the Prevaricator-In-Chief.

Blogger daddy like.

H/T: Gateway Pundit

“Who are youuuuuu?” Democrat Congressman assaults innocent college student

Some students were assaulted by North Carolina Democrat Congressman Bob Ethriddge when they asked him if he supported the Obama Agenda.

In answer to his own question (“Who are youuuuuuu?”), Ethridge’s answer seems to be “The soon-to-be former Democrat congressman from North Carolina.”

Based on this video, we feel pretty safe predicting a long, hot summer for Democrats.

Some students with a video camera asked North Carolina Democrat Congressman Bob Ethriddge if he supported the Obama Agenda.

In answer to his own question (“Who are youuuuuuu?”), Ethridge’s answer seems to be “The soon-to-be former Democrat congressman from North Carolina.”

Does anyone doubt that this video will end up becoming part of a commercial for Ethridge’s Republican opponent come November?

How’d we miss this one? Limbaugh compares O’Reilly to Ted Baxter

In a new biography on sale Tuesday, Rush Limbaugh calls fellow conservative talk show host Bill O’Reilly a “Ted Baxter” — after the fictional character on the “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” who was portrayed as a vain, shallow, buffoonish TV newsman.

ted baxter bill o'reilly

We must have been too busy with stories about the Gusher in the Gulf, because we missed this story last week.

The Hill reports that the first shot has been fired in a possible civil war among conservative media giants:

In a new biography on sale Tuesday, Rush Limbaugh calls fellow conservative talk show host Bill O’Reilly a “Ted Baxter” — after the fictional character on the “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” who was portrayed as a vain, shallow, buffoonish TV newsman.

“Sorry but somebody’s gotta say it,” Limbaugh is quoted as saying in Rush Limbaugh: An Army of One by Zev Chafets. At press time, O’Reilly had yet to respond to the comment.

But it wasn’t just Bill-O who took grief from Big Rush. Limbaugh said he doesn’t consider any of his fellow conservative talk show hosts to be in his league.

“Sean Hannity and Mark Levin are protégés,” writes Chafets, “and [Limbaugh] has defended Glenn Beck.”

But Limbaugh “doesn’t really consider them, or anyone else, in his league.”

Bill O’Reilly as Ted Baxter? Why that’s absolutely insulting. Insulting to the memory of Ted Baxter.

Source: The Hill

The Left’s obsession with Sarah Palin’s boobs

The left is strangely excited by the concept of Sarah Palin’s large, new breasts. And who can blame them?

“Sarah Palin got a boob job! Sarah Palin got a boob job! Sarah Palin got a boob job.”

The Boston Herald reports the left’s latest lame excuse to attack the former Alaska governor:

Alaska’s former governor sported more Northern Exposure than usual at the Belmont Stakes race this weekend, sending the blogosphere into a tizzy, wondering whether Palin is exercising a woman’s right to (bigger) boobs.

Palin and her husband, Todd, were in New York on Sunday to bet on their pick, “First Dude,” named after Palin’s husband.

But it was Palin’s newfound perkiness, not her politics, that bumped “Heidi Montag” and “implants” off the Most Googled list.

Sarah Palin sure looks like she was trotting out some new work at the horse races,” reported the political blog Wonkette yesterday after getting a tip on the Web site’s Facebook feed.

And so began yesterday’s Zapruder-filmlike investigation, as thousands carefully pored over Palin’s before-and-after measurements like seasoned bra-fitters at Lady Grace.

“It could be just a good push-up bra,” offered one local woman in her 20s, who knows of which she speaks.

The left is strangely excited by the concept of Sarah Palin’s large, new breasts. And who can blame them?

For a close-up look at the largest boobs in Washington, DC, just click here.
WARNING: Graphic content may not be suitable for children.

Source: Boston Herald

Don’t just play the race card, give one.

Far be it from us to make generalizations, but based on the latest actions of the NAACP, one can only conclude that black skin is also very thin skin. The organization has forced Hallmark to pull of those talking graduation cards. They claimed it was racist.

Far be it from us to make generalizations, but based on the latest actions of the NAACP, one can only conclude that black skin is also very thin skin.

The organization has forced Hallmark to pull of those talking graduation cards. They claimed it was raaaaacist.

Hallmark was baffled by the complaint. They said the card’s theme was the solar system and was meant to emphasize the graduates’s ability to take on the universe, even something as powerful as black holes.

“The intent here is to say that this graduate is not afraid of anything,” explained Hallmark spokesman Steve Doyal.

“And you black holes, you are so ominous,” the speaking card said. “Watch your back.”

“That was very demeaning to African American women,” intoned Leon Jenkins, a spokesman for the Los Angeles NAACP. “When it made reference to African American women as whores and at the end, it says ‘watch your back,’”.

“You hear the ‘r’ in there. ‘Whores,’ not, ‘holes.’ The ‘r’ is in there,” said Minnie Hatley, another Los Angeles NAACP rep.

“It sounds like a group of children laughing and joking about blackness, again,” said yet another paranoid NAACP member.

Naturally, Hallmark gave in and is pulling the card from all its stores.

Is it just us or is this vaguely reminiscent of the incident a few years ago when a school official got in trouble for using the world niggardly and the incident more recently when black groups complained that the day after <s>Christmas</s> Thanksgiving was referred to as Black Friday.

Lunacy. Absolute lunacy.

Source: ABC

Thanks to Obama’s economy, this poor, unfortunate young woman can’t afford a decent pair of jeans.

It always seems to be the young who suffers the most in bad economic times like these. And we can’t help but wonder why dirty old men should benefit from this innocent young girl’s misfortune?

Short jeans on girl

It always seems to be the young who suffer the most in bad economic times like these. And we can’t help but wonder why dirty old men should benefit from this innocent young girl’s misfortune?

It’s just so unfair.

Helen Thomas proves that she is an ugly, old anti-Semite

“Ugly” is indisputable. Ditto with “old.” Anti-Semitic has always been assumed. But now the angry old bat has finally slipped and put her anti-Semitism on display for the whole world to see.

“Ugly” is indisputable. Ditto with “old.” Anti-Semitic has always been assumed. But now the angry old bat has finally slipped and put her anti-Semitism on display for the whole world to see.

We eagerly await her official statement that she was misquoted when she said of the Israeli Jews, “Tell them they should go back to Poland and Germany.”

Of course, the response to this will surely be universal condemnation by the rest of the press corps and she will just as surely be stripped of her seat in the first row at future White House press briefings.

Oh, man, we crack ourselves up.

Mexicano Masks™ created to help you pass as illegal alien

IHateTheMedia.com has created Mexicano Masks™ designed to help legal American residents leach off the welfare system, overwhelm our public schools, overrun emergency rooms, crowd our criminal justice system, swamp our jails, and work without paying taxes.

Mexicano Masks

Last week a Florida advertising agency created Gringo Masks designed to help illegal aliens pass as legal American residents.

Now IHateTheMedia.com has created Mexicano Masks™ designed to help legal American residents leach off the welfare system, overwhelm our public schools, overrun emergency rooms, crowd our criminal justice system, swamp our jails, and work without paying taxes. After all, who wants to look like an oppressive, racist gringo when there are so many reasons not to?

Gringo Masks
The original Gringo Masks that inspired the new Mexicano Masks™

The Mexicano Mask™ was not created for profit, but as a way to show support for and to give a face to SB1070, Arizona’s new anti-illegal alien law.

“When we first heard of the law in Arizona and the effects it could have in terms of racial profiling, we at IHateTheMedia.com discussed what we could do about it, since we have access to media,” a spokesperson for the popular website said. “How can we address the issue, but do so in a creative way while at the same time delivering a message?”

With traditional marches, rallies and “buycotts” already in full swing, Mexicano Masks™ are another direct way of getting the message across.

“The spirit in which we conceived Mexicano Masks™,” the spokesperson continued, “is definitely to offend people. The time for dialogue is long gone.”

It’s fun and easy. Just click to download (male or female) the Mexicano Mask™ of your choice by clicking on the links at the bottom of this story. Print at 200 dpi. Cut out the eyes. Put it on. ¡Chingon, cabrón! You no longer look like a racist, oppressive Norte Americano.

It’s easy to send your friends here so they can go Mexicano, too. Just give them the URL, MexicanoMasks.com, and they’ll land right on this page.

Male Mexicano Mask: download
Female Mexicano Mask: download

NOTE: Neither rubber band nor green card is included.

Great news! Southern California college offering scholarships to illegal aliens

Santa Ana College, a community college located in Santa Ana, California is now offering illegal aliens $2500 scholarships named after another illegal alien.

Santa Ana College, a community college located in Santa Ana, California is now offering illegal aliens $2500 scholarships named after another illegal alien.

Interestingly, Santa Ana shares a border with Costa Mesa, California, the city that recently declared itself a non-sanctuary city.

The border wars have moved north.

Like a deer caught in the headlines: Time’s editor doesn’t know who Joe Sestak is

Here is a candid moment on MSNBC’s Morning Joe show when Mika Mxyzptlk asked Time editor Rick Stengel if the magazine’s latest issue would cover the Joe Sestak story.

There’s nothing more revealing than those candid moments when libs are caught with his pants down (no Barney Frank reference intended).

In this case, we’re referring to the candid moment on MSNBC’s Morning Joe show when Mika Mxyzptlk asked Time editor Rick Stengel if the magazine’s latest issue would cover the Joe Sestak story.

Stengel was baffled. He stuttered. He stammered. He tried to fake it until Mika cattle prodded the inner recesses of his mind by saying, “The Sestak controversy. Joe Sestak.”

“Oh, Sestak.” Stengel said. “No. No. There is not. There is not.”

Time isn’t interested in this story. And you shouldn’t be, either. Barack Obama said so.

The European debt crisis explained in two hilarious minutes

The other ABC, the Australian Broadcasting Company, allows John Clarke and Brian Dawes to answer the most important questions about the European and worldwide debt crisis.

The other ABC, the Australian Broadcasting Company, allows John Clarke and Brian Dawes to answer the most important questions about the European and worldwide debt crisis.

What was President Obama talking about when he said, “Plug the damn hole.”

The Commander-in-Chief was said to be angry at British Petroleum’s continued dithering and quoted by unnamed White House insiders as saying, “Plug the damn hole.” So now that BP has followed his instructions and plugged that hole, maybe the President could plug a few others.

In a leak aimed at creating the perception that President Obama is one tough mother hombre and almost as obvious as the leak in the Gulf, the Commander-in-Chief was said to be angry at British Petroleum’s continued dithering and quoted by unnamed White House insiders as saying, “Plug the damn hole.”

plug the damn hole

So now that BP has followed his instructions and plugged that hole, maybe the President could plug a few others.

“Plug the damn hole.”

illegal-alien-plug-hole

Continue reading “What was President Obama talking about when he said, “Plug the damn hole.””

Patrick Kennedy demonstrates his Kennedyness, says Arizona law is like “slave trade”

Patrick Kennedy, the last remaining link to those heady days of Camelot, spoke out against Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law. And he did the Kennedy family proud.

Patrick Kennedy, the last remaining link to those heady days of Camelot, spoke out against Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law. And he did the Kennedy family proud.

“…it violates the spirit of our own Constitution. So, you know, we had a tragic history in this country. The most shameful parts of our history were when we had our slave trade, when we, when we, the Trail of Tears, what we did to our Native Americans. And, you know, the proudest moments in our history are when we had the Civil Rights Act, when we moved forward on integration and expanding the opportunities for all of our citizens.

“So, this idea of, you know, racial profiling, takes us backwards and really goes to the worst character of our nation and it’s, it’s demeaning to our country that we would move in that direction. It’s beneath us as a people.”

Please allow us to translate:

“I love Mexicans. Legal Mexicans. Illegal Mexicans. Tall Mexicans. Short Mexicans. To prove it, I’d like a tequila, bartender. And hold the glass. Just gimme the friggin’ bottle and shut the hell up.”

Ann Curry speaks to the Dalai Lama like he’s retarded

What’s with Ann Curry babytalking the Dalai Lama? She did everything but say, “C’mon, honey, pick up your toys and then let’s go night-night.”

What’s with Ann Curry babytalking the Dalai Lama? She did everything but say, “C’mon, honey, pick up your toys and then let’s go night-night.”

Maybe it was just a misguided attempt to show some kind of respect to a religious leader. Because, you know, all the world’s religious leaders like to be spoken to as if they’re two year olds.

Homosexual Alert: Giving a new meaning to the term “thumbing a ride”

Seemingly from the same production company that brought you the overwrought “Reefer Madness”, this old video warned children against the dangers of hitchhiking. There are homosexuals lurking out there, kids. So be careful where you put your thumbs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3S24ofEQj4

Seemingly from the same production company that brought you the overwrought “Reefer Madness”, this old video warned children against the dangers of hitchhiking.

There are homosexuals lurking out there, kids. So be careful where you put your thumbs.

H/T: The Big Feed

American Hellfire missile sends three more terrorists to meet 216 virgins

Adios, Abdul. Bye bye, Bashir. Happy trails, Hamza. (WARNING: VIDEO CLIP CONTAINS SOME REALLY APPROPRIATE PROFANITY.)

Adios, Abdul. Bye bye, Bashir. Happy trails, Hamza.

(WARNING: VIDEO CLIP CONTAINS SOME REALLY APPROPRIATE PROFANITY)

Source: ViralFootage.com

California Congressman Tom McClintock rips the president of Mexico

Tom McClintock should be governor of California. We’re embarrassed to admit that even we fell for Arnold’s lies and voted for him instead of McClintock. Big mistake. This speech on the floor of the House yesterday, ripping the president of Mexico Filipe Calderon, demonstrates why we owe him a huge apology.

Tom McClintock should be governor of California. We’re embarrassed to admit that even we fell for Arnold’s lies and voted for him instead of McClintock. Big mistake.

This speech on the floor of the House yesterday, ripping the president of Mexico Felipe Calderon on immigration, demonstrates why we owe him a huge apology.

He has huevos the size of coconuts and always speaks the truth.

Michael Savage’s most remarkably stupid caller ever

We’d normally expect The Savage One to bit this caller’s head off. But even he is so stunned by her stupidity that his reaction seems unusually muted. The best part is her ability to move so seamlessly from stupid comments on one topic to equally stupid comments on a completely unrelated topic.

We’d normally expect The Savage One to bit this caller’s head off. But even he is so stunned by her stupidity that his reaction seems unusually muted. The best part is her ability to move so seamlessly from stupid comments on one topic to equally stupid comments on a completely unrelated topic.

Regrettably, she actually mirrors the “thinking” of the far left on illegal immigration, racism and taxation.

Somali pirates die of swine flu and Russian bullets. But mostly Russian bullets.

We offer this advice as a public service to those noble pirates plying their trade off the Somali coast: Don’t screw with the Russians.

russians-kill-pirates
Kindly Russian doctors administering emergency medical treatment to ill Somali pirates

We offer this advice as a public service to those noble pirates plying their trade off the Somali coast: Don’t screw with the Russians.

Cleveland.com reports the details:

Following high level complaints about “imperfections” in international law, Russia announced Tuesday that captured Somali pirates “have all died.” A Russian official claimed that 10 pirates seized by Russian special forces aboard an oil tanker last week were quickly freed but then died on their way back to the Somali coast.

The unidentified high-ranking Defense Ministry official did not elaborate on how the pirates died, deepening a mystery that has prompted speculation the pirates were executed by commandos who had freed a Russian oil tanker seized in waters 500 miles (800 kilometers) east of Somalia’s coast.

The official told Russian news agencies the pirates’ boat disappeared from Russian radar about an hour after their release.

“They could not reach the coast and, apparently, have all died,” the official said.

The Defense Ministry could not be reached despite repeated phone calls Tuesday to the press office and the cell phones of spokesmen.

Russian officials have said one of the 11 pirates was killed during a gunbattle when the Russian special forces stormed the tanker on Thursday. The others, some said to have been wounded, were brought aboard a Russian destroyer.

Officials initially said they would be taken to Russia for trial, but the Defense Ministry said Friday they’d been released because of “imperfections” in international law. The statement was met with skepticism, especially in light of a comment made by the Russian president.

“We’ll have to do what our forefathers did when they met the pirates” until the international community comes up with a legal way of prosecuting them, Dmitry Medvedev said on the day the ship was stormed.

Think of the Russian commandos as a Muslim dating service: a direct link to 99 beautiful virgins.

Source: Cleveland.com

Welcome to America 2010: Student reprimanded for drawing the American flag

A California art teacher banned her young student’s drawing of the American flag. She actually told the student it was “offensive.” 
Then the same teacher turned around and praised another student’s drawing of Barack Obama.

Can a state be clinically insane? If so, California should be institutionalized, because they don’t come any crazier than this state.

A California art teacher banned her young student’s drawing of the American flag. She actually told the student it was “offensive.” 
Then the same teacher turned around and praised another student’s drawing of Barack Obama.

Her parents were pissed. We’re pissed. You’re probably pissed. And we hope anyone else reading this story gets pissed.

We’re thinking of moving our entire blog factory to Alabama or Tennessee or one of those other states that likes to spend big bucks to lure companies away from California.

A billion dollars should do the trick. We might even take a few bucks less.

And now we’ll just sit back now and wait for the offers to come rolling in, because we have to get out of this insane asylum.

Obama TV miniseries in the works, we offer our help with casting

Open TV & Film is working on a TV miniseries based on Barack Obama’s run for the presidency as described in Newsweek journalist Richard Woolfe’s book Renegade: The Making of a President. We offer our help with the casting.

Open TV & Film, a British production company, is working on a TV miniseries based on Barack Obama’s run for the presidency as described in Newsweek journalist Richard Woolfe’s book Renegade: The Making of a President.

“It is early days,” Simon Shaps, chairman of Open said, “but we are sure there will no shortage of ideas for who plays the President.”

Since our British cousins probably aren’t as highly attuned to American culture and politics as we are here at IHateTheMedia.com, the least we can do is offer them a few casting tips. One might even say absolutely perfect casting tips.

And while we’re in a helpful mood, we thought we might suggest a new name for the miniseries, too. They can’t name it Renegade, because that was the name of a horrible syndicated show starring Lorenzo Lamas back in the ’90s. So may we humbly suggest a far more appropriate name: The Left Wing.

Please send a limo and four tickets to the premiere party to IHateTheMedia.com, Mr. Shaps.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s roll the credits for The Left Wing, starring:

Barack Obama Will Smith

Will Smith as Barack Obama. In Ali, he played The Greatest. Now he’ll play The One.

Michelle Obama Patrick Ewing

Patrick Ewing as Michelle Obama. Sure, former NBA great Ewing will have to spend some time in the gym to match Michelle’s arms, but we’re confident he can pull it off.

Continue reading “Obama TV miniseries in the works, we offer our help with casting”

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