President eats cheeseburger, big news. President eats ice cream, major story. President eats caviar, ssssshhh.

Obama had brunch with Putin with smoked beluga and black caviar. Sale and consumption of beluga or black caviar is illegal in Russia to protect endangered species.

No word on whether President Obama order Grey Poupon on his caviar
No word on whether President Obama order Grey Poupon on his caviar

When President Obama went to a burger joint, the media reported it as if he had walked on water. When he took his daughters out for ice cream, the media went into full orgasmic ecstacy. After all, this is The Greatest President in history, and yet he eats the same food the rest of us eat. He’s not just Everyman, he’s EverySuperman.

Somehow, the media missed President Obama’s recent lunch with Russian puppetmaster Vladimir Putin. Luckily, it was reported by the Jamestown Foundation’s Eurasia Monitor: reports:

Obama had a “Russian style” working brunch with Putin with smoked beluga and black caviar. At present, the commercial production, sale and consumption of beluga or black caviar is illegal in Russia to protect endangered species. It was speculated that Putin served Obama Iranian-made caviar, which is legal (Interfax, July 8). Of course, in Russia, laws do not apply to the top nomenklatura, so the delicacy Obama consumed was most likely Russian-made and contraband. It is not clear what is politically more damaging for a U.S. president: to publicly eat Iranian caviar or Russian contraband. Putin indeed has a peculiar sense of humor.

Mmmmm, endangered species.

We’re still waiting to hear the response from PETA and the World Wildlife Fund.

Source: Eurasia Monitor via WeeklyStandard.com

A heartwarming video that will almost make you forgive Massachusetts for Kennedy & Kerry

The scene was Fenway Park in Boston on July 4. The Red Sox had invited a disabled young man to sing the Star Spangled Banner.

The scene was Fenway Park in Boston on July 4. The Red Sox had invited a disabled young man to sing the Star Spangled Banner.

It only took a note or two for the crowd to realize he wasn’t a professional singer. He missed a word or two, laughed nervously and then…a sell-out crowd of 40,000 joined in and helped him complete the anthem.

It’ll bring tears to your eyes. But not in the same way that Kerry and Kennedy do.

Source: The Anchoress

Obama shows Communists more respect than he shows Republicans

When Major Garrett asked Barack Obama, in Russia, if the West had won the cold war, the President just couldn’t bring himself to say we did.

There’s something oddly pathological about Barack Obama’s strength against friends and weakness against enemies.

When Major Garrett asked if the West had won the cold war, the President just couldn’t bring himself to say we did. This bizarre exchange took place in Russia.

Major Garrett: In your speech this morning you said the Cold War reached its conclusion because of the actions of many nations that were made by many nations over many years. Mr. President are the Russian sensitivities so fragile that you can’t say that the Cold War was won, the West won it and it was led by a combination of democratic and Republican presidents?

Barack Obama: There were a whole bunch of people around Eastern Europe who showed enormous courage, like the Iranians today, and…uhhh…I think that it is very important in this part of the world to acknowledge the degree to which people struggled for their own freedom. We don’t have to diminish other people in order to recognize our role in that history.

Keep in mind, this the same guy who had no trouble diminishing other people when he warned Republicans not to fight his socialist agenda by saying, “I won.”

Perhaps he couldn’t bring himself to say the West won the Cold War because his side considered it a defeat.

If you know what we mean.

Source: BluegrassPundit.com

Global Warming Update
Seven weeks into hurricane season: Where are the missing hurricanes?

Al Gore insisted that global warming would bring more and bigger hurricanes, more death, more distruction. Not in 2009.

hurrricane-forecast Today marks the beginning of the seventh week of the official hurricane season. Still no hurricanes, still no tropical storms, still no tropical depressions. The big news is a little cloudiness east of the Windward Islands (Yellow circle #1 on the chart).

In the record breaking 2005 season, we’d already had six storms. In the quiet 2006 season, we’d already had two. In the average 2007 season, we’d already had two. And in the average 2008 season, the fourth storm began a day from now.

Al Gore insisted that global warming would bring more and bigger hurricanes, more death, more distruction, more dislocation, more of everything bad and none of anything good.

We’re waiting, Al.

Source: National Hurricane Center

Bad news for Democrats: Republican congressman thinks they should be covered by ObamaCare, too

Congress will be exempt from whatever ObamaCare healthcare plan congress foists on the rest of the American people. And Congressman John Fleming has the guts to call them on their hypocrisy.

Republican Congressman John Fleming has some nasty-tasting medicine for congress
Republican Congressman John Fleming has some nasty-tasting medicine for congress

In a remarkable case of “Do as I say, not as I do,” Congress will be exempt from whatever ObamaCare plan they foist on the rest of the American people. And one congressman has had the guts to call them on their hypocrisy.

Republican Congressman John Fleming of Louisiana thinks the people who vote for ObamaCare should give up their perk-laden congressional healthcare plan and live under the same plan they foist upon the rest of us:

“Under the current draft of the Democrat healthcare legislation, members of Congress are curiously exempt from the government-run health care option, keeping their existing health plans and services on Capitol Hill. If Members of Congress believe so strongly that government-run health care is the best solution for hard working American families, I think it only fitting that Americans see them lead the way. Public servants should always be accountable and responsible for what they are advocating, and I challenge the American people to demand this from their representatives.”

Fleming is also a physician, so he might just know what he’s talking about.

If you agree with Congressman Fleming, you can sign a letter of support at his website.

If you disagree with Congressman Fleming, we hope that psychiatric care is included in ObamaCare. Because you definitely need it.

Source: Fleming.house.gov

Janeane Garofalo bombs in Britain, walks off stage when no one laughs

Janeane Garofalo cut short her Saturday afternoon set in Latitude’s comedy tent because of the poor reception she was given by the audience.

Discerning British comedy fans gave Janeane Garofalo a sitting non-ovation
Discerning British comedy fans gave Janeane Garofalo a sitting non-ovation

In honor of our long-standing, warm relationship with the Brits, we sincerely hope no one actually paid good money to see Janeane Garofalo based on the concept that she might be funny.

Here’s how Uncut UK describes the cold reception she got at the hands of discerning British comedy fans:

Janeane Garofalo cut short her Saturday afternoon set in Latitude’s comedy tent because of the poor reception she was given by the audience. The American comedienne’s rare UK live appearance was expected to be one of the highlights in a strong comic line-up, but she failed to win over the festival crowd.

Best known to TV viewers as talent booker Paula in The Larry Sanders Show and political campaigner Louise in the final series of The West Wing, Garofalo was due perform for half an hour, but left the stage after less than ten minutes when her routine about post-9/11 security checks at airports met with stony silence.

“It’s not you, I blame myself for this,” she said before leaving the stage. The gap her abrupt exit left in the schedule was filled by the next act Ed Byrne agreeing to go on early. He opened his own routine with a question for the event promoters; “Now that I’m doing a longer set, can I have some of Janeane’s money?”

Garofalo did regain her sense of humor during an interview on the BBC when she said, “Mostly the media in the States is much more to the right. I mean there is almost no liberal outlet for news commentary and editorializing.”

To paraphrase Kenny Bania, Jerry Seinfeld’s unfunny comedian friend, “That’s gold, Janeane, gold.”

Source: Uncut via Tim Blair

Man charged $23 quadrillion for cigarettes. Obama’s new taxes must have kicked in.

Josh Muszynski, a New Hampshire man, was charged $23,148,855,308,184,500 for cigarettes. Obama taxes?

Cigarettes kill people. Taxes kill economies.
Cigarettes kill people. Taxes kill economies.

Josh Muszynski, a New Hampshire man, went down to his corner gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes with his debit card.

A few hours later he went online, checked his account, and was stunned to see that he had been charged an astronomical $23,148,855,308,184,500 for the ciggies.

After picking himself up off the floor, Muszynski spent two hours on the phone with Bank of America trying to solve the problem. Luckily, B of A corrected the error and even reversed their $15 overdraft fee.

We say if President Obama is smart he’ll act immediately and slap a $23 quadrillion tax on every pack of cigarettes sold.

In one stroke, he’ll wipe out smoking. And if he can just sell one pack, he’ll generate almost enough taxes to pay for ObamaCare.

Source: AP

Turks create craziest reality TV show ever: Conversion or No Conversion

Tovbekarlar Yarisiyor pits a Muslim imam, Catholic priest, Jewish rabbi and Buddhist monk against each other in an attempt to convert 10 atheists to their religion.

"I'll take 'Suicide Vests" for $2000, Alex."
“I’ll take ‘Suicide Vests” for $2000, Alex.”

The lucky winner of a new reality show on Turkish TV and you win the biggest prize ever: eternal salvation.

“Tovbekarlar Yarisiyor” (“Penitents Compete”) pits a Muslim imam, Catholic priest, Jewish rabbi and Buddhist monk against each other (like that hasn’t been done for thousands of years) in an attempt to convert 10 atheists to their religion.

If you thought that was odd, wait until you hear the prize. The winning contestants will be given a pilgrimage to their new faith’s most sacred site —Mecca for Muslims, Jerusalem for Jews, Tibet for Buddhists, or the Vatican for Catholics.

What makes this show so remarkable is that it’s the first time in the history of television that network executives have thought of worshipping anything other than the almighty buck.

Source: Andrew Bolt

The most heartwarming, tear-inducing TV commercial you’ve ever seen

This four minute commercial could bring tears to your eyes.

American TV commercials are almost always 30-seconds long. And sometimes that’s just not enough time to weave a full, rich story.

Here’s a four-minute long Thai TV commercial that’s uses every single second to tell one of the most heartwarming, inspirational stories you’ve ever seen.

If we weren’t so damn manly here at IHateTheMedia.com, it would have brought tears to our eyes.

Source: Presurfer.com

Hilarious music video simultaneously parodies R&B singers and ObamaCare

“Boyfriend With Health Benefits” tells the touching story of a young woman who’s searching for true love. Well, true love and a healthcare plan that covers lasik eye surgery. And shiatsu massage. And prescription drugs. And acupuncture. And podiatry.

“Boyfriend With Health Benefits” tells the touching story of a young woman who’s searching for true love. Well, true love and a healthcare plan that covers lasik eye surgery. And shiatsu massage. And prescription drugs. And acupuncture. And podiatry.

As the song says, “If you really wanna be my man, boy, you gotta put me on your health care plan.”

This is 2009, honey. You don’t need a boyfriend, you need ObamaCare.

Based on his African speech, Obama will soon announce tax cuts

Barack Obama said no business wants to invest where the government skims 20 percent off the top. But America skims 40%, says John Stossel.

John Stossel points out the dichotomy between Obama's words and actions
John Stossel points out the dichotomy between Obama's words and actions

Day in and day out, ABC’s John Stossel is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Here’s what he had to say about Obama and taxes:

Apparently President Obama wants America to lower taxes and shrink the regulatory state. After all, during his trip to Africa, he said: “No business wants to invest in a place where the government skims 20 percent off the top”.

But of course the American government skims off much more than 20%. Federal taxes alone are roughly that, and when you add in state and local levies, plus the burden of regulation, government in America eats at least 40% of GDP.

If African governments’ skimming off 20% is a bad thing, why is America’s 40% okay, and why is the President trying to make government bigger?

This is particularly timely since Democrats much-vaunted healthcare plan and is all built around tax increases or surcharges or whatever they’re calling them today.

Love you, John. In the manliest of manly ways, of course.

Source: John Stossel/ABC

French “youths” riot, burn cars. Were they (a) Baptist, (b) Catholic, (c) Jewish, or (d) none of the above

French (muslims) youths burned 317 cars and wounded 13 police officers overnight during the now traditional bout of street violence on the eve of the Bastille Day national holiday, police say

French youths (Muslims) demonstrating their youthful (Muslim) exuberance
French youths (Muslims) demonstrating their youthful (Muslim) exuberance

Please allow us to translate a story from France, reported by the BBC, found in an Australian newspaper, but generally ignored in the United States.

French youths burned 317 cars and wounded 13 police officers overnight during the now traditional bout of street violence on the eve of the Bastille Day national holiday, police say.

Paris police said 240 people had been arrested, almost double the number held after unrest on the same day last year.

The injured officers are suffering from hearing difficulties caused by home-made explosives blowing up beside them.

Last week, the death of a young man in police custody caused three nights of riots in the southern town of Firminy.

Police said Mohamed Benmouna, a 21-year-old of Algerian origin, had died after trying to hang himself in a cell earlier in the week.

So when you strip away the politically-correct reportage, you understand that “French youths” is an euphemism that actually means “Muslim youths.” You know, the same ones who’ve begun the delightful tradition of rioting and burning cars to celebrate the freedom they’ve found in France.

But, of course, it might offend some “French youths” if that story were to be reported…uhhh…accurately.

Source: Daily Telegraph via Andrew Bolt

Here’s ten bucks, keep the change: BusinessWeek may be sold for just $1

McGraw-Hill is so eager to dump BusinessWeeek that it may dump the 80-year old publication for a mere dollar.

Maybe BusinessWeek should have read its own cover story
Maybe BusinessWeek should have read its own cover story

According to insiders, McGraw-Hill is so eager to dump BusinessWeeek that it may dump the 80-year old publication for a mere dollar.

BusinessWeek’s ad revenue plummeted to just $77.8 million in the first six months of 2009 and its circulation has fallen to just 936,000.

Who would be willing to ante up a buck for what is arguably the nation’s leading financial publication? Analysts expect the most likely bidders to be publishers of other financial publications who hope the consolidation of publications will lead to cost savings.

Not so fast, McGraw-Hill. We have a plan of our own:

We’ll swoop in as unexpected bidders, win the auction with an unexpectedly high bid of $2, immediately spin off BusinessWeek.com as a separate entity, throw the rest of the operation into bankruptcy, sell the website for $1,000,000 and walk away from the whole mess.

Do not be embarrassed if you didn’t follow all those machinations. We are highly-trained financial gurus and you are not.

Source: Financial Times

President admits that ObamaCare is all bucked up

Here’s President Obama talking about his healthcare plan, telling people “We need to buck up people a little here” and “It’s time for us to buck up.”

Here’s The One talking about his healthcare plan, telling people “We need to buck up people a little here” and “It’s time for us to buck up.”

No problem, Mr. President. We’re pretty sure that if ObamaCare gets passed, we’ll all be bucked up.

Black business leader calls Barbara Boxer condescending and racial

Black Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Harry Alford accuses the dimwitted Senator Boxer of making condescending remarks, racial remarks, and was undoubtedly thinking, stupid remarks.

We are shocked, absolutely shocked, that anyone would accuse California Senator Barbara Boxer of being condescending. She doesn’t know the meaning of the word.

No, seriously, we don’t think she knows the meaning of the word. She doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.

In this exchange, Black Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Harry Alford accuses the dimwitted Senator Boxer of making condescending remarks, racial remarks, and was undoubtedly thinking, stupid remarks.

Can’t really blame Alford. Boxer talks to him as if he got to the hearings on the short bus. He showed her every bit of respect she deserved, which was none.

Boxer looks baffled. But what the hell, she normally looks baffled.

Update 7/24/09: Dennis Miller interviews Harry Alford:
[audio:https://www.ihatethemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/harry-alford-dennis-miller.mp3]

We’re all teabaggers now. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Don’t look now, but Arnold Schwarzenegger has become a conservative Republican again. Quick. Someone check to see which way the wind is blowing.

Don’t look now, but Arnold Schwarzenegger has become a conservative Republican again. Quick. Someone check to see which way the wind is blowing.

As as our mothers used to say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Wireless welfare: Free cell phone for the poor scam expands

More free cell phones for the poor. This time from TracFone Wireless in Colorado, not Safelink Wireless.

[ad-1985977]

In March 2009 we did a story about a wireless phone plan that provides free cell phones for the poor through Safelink Wireless. Much to our surprise, it’s generated more controversy and more comments than any other story we’ve ever done (you really should read some of the thousands of comments. Frankly, it’s astonishing).

TracFone Wireless follows Safelink Wireless in giving free cell phones to the poor

free cell phone
Anyone who thinks this is a good idea should have their head examined

Now Colorado is thinking about enrolling its poor in the same program.

The Denver Post reports:

“If approved, the plan by TracFone Wireless in Miami would make Colorado the 17th state it has settled into with free cell service for the indigent, a form of wireless welfare that proponents say taps into one of the last untapped markets for the telecom technology.

“Our hope is to have it up and running by September,” said Jose Fuentes, TracFone’s director of government relations. “Historically, it’s a very underutilized service, and we’d like that to change.”

In Colorado, it’s called LITAP — the Low Income Telephone Assistance Program — and is available to anyone receiving aid from any of six welfare funds…

The bad news is that you’re paying for this via the Universal Service Fund, one of those mysterious line item taxes listed on your monthly phone bill.

The good news is that you soon won’t have any money left and you’ll qualify for a free cell phone.

Congratulations!

Source: DenverPost.com

Sotomayor’s “inspiration” consistently prosecuted innocent people

Sonia Sotomayor said she had been inspired to become a prosecutor by Hamilton Burger, the fictional District Attorney character in the old Perry Mason TV show. Burger was consistently wrong, gleefully prosecuting innocent people in 206 of those programs.

There was a very strange moment in Sonia Sotomayor’s Senate confirmation hearing on Wednesday.

The Supreme Court nominee said she had been inspired to become a prosecutor by Hamilton Burger, the fictional District Attorney character in the old Perry Mason TV show.

Sotomayor told Democrat Senator Amy Klobucher of Minnesota that she first knew she wanted to be a prosecutor while watching the TV show “Perry Mason” as a child.

She recalled that at the end of one case, after another of Mason’s clients had been proven innocent of Burger’s trumped-up charges, “Perry said to the prosecutor, ‘It must cause you some pain having expended all that effort and to have the charges dismissed.’

“And the prosecutor looked up and said, ‘No, my job as a prosecutor is to do justice, and justice is served when a guilty man is convicted and an innocent man is not.’ And I thought to myself, that’s quite amazing, to be able to serve that role.”

“My point,” she added, “is that it is such a wonderful part of being a prosecutor…That TV character said something that motivated my choices in life.”

In the words of Hamilton Burger, “We object.”

The Hamilton Burger character appeared in 207 episodes of the old Perry Mason TV show. He was consistently wrong, gleefully prosecuting innocent people in 206 of those programs. In the 207th episode, “The Case of the Deadly Verdict” Mason was eventually able to prove that his client has been wrong convicted and the worked tirelessly to have the decision overturned.

We would have been far more impressed if she said she had been inspired by the Perry Mason character – the rich, successful attorney who frequently worked without payment to see that justice was done. Instead, Sotomayor was inspired by the character who enthusiastically prosecuted innocent people week after week for ten years.

But it certainly helps explain why the Supreme Court has overturned so many of Sotomayor’s decisions.

Let’s just call it “The Case of the Leftist Latina.”

Source: Los Angeles Times

Attack of the tax man: Top rate to hit 57% in New York

A massive health-care overhaul could have a job-killing effect on New York, creating a tax rate of nearly 60 percent for the state’s top earners and possibly pressuring small-business owners to shed workers.

(click to enlarge) What Obama Healthcare plan means to New Yorkers

(click to enlarge) What Obama Healthcare plan means to New Yorkers

No matter what President Obama may say, almost no one still believes taxes will only increase on those earning more than $250,000. Especially the New York Post:

Congressional plans to fund a massive health-care overhaul could have a job-killing effect on New York, creating a tax rate of nearly 60 percent for the state’s top earners and possibly pressuring small-business owners to shed workers.

New York’s top income bracket could reach as high as 57 percent — rates not seen in three decades — to pay for the massive health coverage proposed by House Democrats this week.

Three words: Trickle down taxes.

Source: New York Post, RasmussenReports.com

First pitch at all-star game symbolic of Obama’s presidency: It came up a bit short

The President doesn’t throw like a little girl. actually Obama throws like a little sissy boy. Here’s the pitch at the MLB All-Star game.

Couple weeks ago, we caught all kinds of flack for saying Obama throws like a girl.

“You’re being unfair,” the left wing howled. “Wait ‘til you see him throw out the first pitch at baseball’s all-star game.” Okay, let’s look:

Now that we’ve seen the pitch, we take it all back. The President doesn’t throw like a little girl. He actually throws like a little sissy boy.

Contrast “Lefty” Obama’s wimpy pitch with the one “Righty” George Bush made at the 2001 World Series. Obama threw a big ol’ lob that fell short of the plate. Despite the fact that Cardinals star Albert Pujols positioned himself to receive the pitch in front of the plate, it still fell short and had to be scooped out of the dirt. Bush zinged one right down the middle of the plate.

Once again, the right wing proves superior to the left wing.

Saudis cure cancer with camel urine, inspire Obama to cure economy with bullshit

Dr. Faten Abdel-Rahman Khorshid has developed a potential cure for cancer based on camel urine. Thanks to Prophet Muhammad.

Just great. OPEC will soon be joined by CUPEC (Camel Urine Producing & Exporting Countries)
Just great. OPEC will soon be joined by CUPEC (Camel Urine Producing & Exporting Countries)

According to SaudiGazette.com, Dr. Faten Abdel-Rahman Khorshid has developed a potential cure for cancer based on camel urine.

Korshid is a Saudi scientist, faculty member at King Abdul Aziz University and President of the Tissues Culture Unit at King Fahd Center for Medical Research. After five years of research, she has announced that nano-particles in camel urine can be used to fight cancer.

Dr. Khorshid says she was inspired by medical advice given by the Prophet Muhammad in the Koran.

“This treatment is not an invention,” she said, “but rather, taken from our Prophet’s legacy.”

In related news, President Obama announced that the “stimulus” had saved or created another 150,000 jobs, demonstrating his theory that the economy can be cured with bullshit.

Source: SaudiGazette.com via LittleGreenFootballs.com

Al Gore rewrites history, London Times rewrites Al Gore

Al Gore compared the battle against climate change with the struggle against the Nazis, who are apparently today’s global warming realists.

Al Gore's vision of global warming realists
Al Gore's vision of global warming realists

What is it with newspapers named “The Times?” No mater where they may be located, they seem to do whatever necessary to support liberals. Even the Times of London is now marching in lockstep with the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times.

Al Gore was in England last week to issue his latest doom and gloom proclamation. The Times of London first reported his speech this way:

Al Gore today compared the battle against climate change with the struggle against the Nazis.

Nazis? Global warming realists are now like Nazis?

Five hours later, the Times story had magically been rewritten, the comparison of global warming realists to Nazis had been removed, and Gore had been recast to appear much more statesman-like:

Al Gore invoked the spirit of Winston Churchill today by encouraging political leaders to follow the example of Britain’s wartime leader and unite their nations to fight climate change.

Where’d those global warming Nazis go? Probably off to kill a few polar bears.

Source: Tim Blair

Former Pennsylvania lawmaker gets five years in prison, his party remains a mystery

Former Sen. Vincent Fumo misappropriated millions from New Jersey and two nonprofits. But his democrat party affiliation is not mentioned until end of article.

Vincent Fumo is going to prison, where his party may be able to establish a quorum
Vincent Fumo is going to prison, where his party may be able to establish a quorum

This is an ugly, ugly story of corruption in – would you believe it – New Jersey. And an even uglier story of the media burying that politician’s political party.

A former Pennsylvania lawmaker who prosecutors said became “drunk with power” in his many years in the state Senate was sentenced Tuesday to less than five years in prison, a steep departure down from what the judge was asked to impose for the corruption conviction.

Former Sen. Vincent Fumo misappropriated millions from the state and two nonprofits. A jury found he used their coffers to clean his mansion, charter yachts, and spy on an ex-girlfriend and political foes.

“Maybe I should not have asked my staff to do the favors I did,” an ashen-faced Fumo said before he was sentenced. “Judge, I never intended to steal. The last thing on my mind was taking money from anybody. I’ve never done that.”

Remarkably, we don’t learn which political party Fumo was affiliated until the 17th paragraph of this story and even then it’s only mentioned peripherally:

Gov. Ed Rendell, a spying target and sometime rival, called his fellow Democrat “ruthless” but told the judge in a letter that Fumo nonetheless “has a deep sense of social responsibility.”

Which news source buried Fumo’s Democrat affiliation? If you guessed CBS, you’d be wrong. If you guessed NBC, you’d be wrong. If you guessed Associated Press, you’d be wrong. If you guessed MSNBC, you’d be wrong.

The offending news organization turns out to be those dastardly conservatives at Fox News.

Don’t look now, Keith Olbermann, but this looks suspiciously fair and balanced.

Source: FoxNews.com

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
Verified by MonsterInsights