Tag: Barack Obama

Barack Hussein Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, 44th president of the United States — socialist, radical, and enemy of Americans who believe in the constitution. Here are hundreds of articles on this man.

Couric wonders “What more can Obama do?”

question_markThe economy may be in a recession, but the network news anchors were thrown into full scale depression when House Republicans unanimously rejected Obama’s stimulus bill.

“The President went up to the Hill to personally appeal to Republicans already,” Katie Couric sighed. “What more can he do?”

“Republicans relentlessly attacked the bill,” wailed CBS reporter Chip Reid, “despite the President’s extraordinary efforts to get bipartisan support.”

“Not one Republican voted for it,” whimpered ABC anchor Charles Gibson, “turning a cold shoulder to the President’s appeal for bipartisan support.”

So much for the President’s charm offensive,” said reporter Jonathan Karl. “Today it was all partisan rancor and name-calling.”

We hope the president’s universal healthcare plan calls for universal Valium prescriptions. Looks like the news anchors are going to need it.

Rahm Emanuel makes daily, secret calls to media pals

Rahm uses his secure phone to call his media buddies
Rahm Emanuel cleverly uses his secure phone to make secret calls to his media pals

As the sun comes up each morning, Rahm Emanuel, Obama’s chief of staff, calls his pals in the media – CNN’s James Carville and Paul Begala, ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, and pollster Stan Greenberg.

That was no problem last month, but Emanuel is now President Obama’s Chief of Staff, and the calls have now taken on an air of conspiracy. Where’s the shock and outrage and the suggestion that Emanuel is coordinating media coverage?

From our perspective, two things surprise us about this story.

First, that no one has objected to this “cozy” relationship between the president’s chief of staff and members of the media.

And second, that Emanuel has four friends.

Obama has giant brain. Brian Williams no so much.

NBC News anchor Brian Williams is very pleased that Barack Obama is our new chief executive. But not so pleased, mind you, that it influences his work.

Just as we were beginning to worry about Williams’ impartiality, he reassured us that “none” of his personal enthusiasm about Obama’s presidency “is about a party” since “none of us have a party in my line of work. We all try to call balls and strikes down the center.”

Then Williams impartially noted that “we have a dazzling family in the White House” and stated that Obama “has an enormous brain.”

If brain size is now a reason to vote for a presidential candidate, let us be the first to say, “Brainiac 2012.”

Spike Lee says, “If Bush did it, don’t do it!”

Angry film director Spike Lee has a simple plan for restoring America to the glory that was Clinton. Bill, that is. It boils down to this: if Bush did it, don’t do it.

Lee shared his wisdom at the Creative Coalition’s pre-inaugural ball dinner.

“Look, I’m not an economist,” Lee admitted. “He has people with him, and they are gonna do it…Everything (Bush) did, don’t do!”

Does anyone have an Oslo phone book handy? We need to call the folks at the Nobel Prize headquarters and nominate this guy for something. How about Nobel Prize for Stupid?

Impartial photojournalist by day, Obama employee by night

chinatownRemember that scene in “Chinatown” where Jack Nicholson roughs up Faye Dunaway until she reveals the identity of the mysterious young girl?

He slaps her and she says, “She’s my sister.” He slaps her again and she says, “My daughter.” They ping pong back and forth until Dunaway breaks down and admits the girl is daughter and her sister, the result of an incestuous relationship with her father.

Looks we have another incestuous Chinatown situation on our hands in Washington, DC. Turns out Callie Shell, a Time Magazine photographer, has been working simultaneously for Team Obama, snapping official White House photos.

We wish someone would slap Callie around a little just to see if she’ll crack as easily as Faye Dunaway did.

Slap. “I’m a completely impartial journalist.”

Slap. “I’m a biased hack.”

Slap. “I’m a completely impartial journalist.”

Slap. “I’m a biased hack.”

Slap. “Stop slapping me, wimpy boy. I already told you I was a biased hack.”

Is Obama first truly American president?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XUveqFZRgwWe were pretty sure Barack Obama was our forty-fourth president. We thought we read that somewhere. But it looks like we were wrong.

Emmy Award-winning commentator John Ridley said Obama’s the first. And this guy works for PBS, so he’s obviously smarter than the rest of us.

“Quite simply, quite plainly, just by virtue of his being,” Ridley idiotically opined, “Obama is America, and the first true American to lead our nation.”

Hey, don’t our taxes support PBS? We want our money back.

Obama campaign celeb says, “F— tha Police”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ro08bILEvqcWe’re into deep introspection here at I Hate the Media. Every once in a while we look at our lives and think, “Perhaps we should show the media a little more love.”

Then we’re jolted back to reality when we find a quote from some bonehead like Russell Simmons.

Simmons, co-founder of Def Jam Records, who campaigned extensively for President Obama, recently told reporters that his favorite song is “F— tha Police.”

When asked if Obama’s election would inspire rappers to be less explicit in their lyrics, Simmons said he does not see a problem with their vulgarities.

Thank you, Russell. It’s stupidity like yours that makes our lives worth living.

They’re unwilling to draw Obama, we’re willing to draw conclusions

by Flickr's bobster1985
by Flickr's bobster1985

What’s that? You say you haven’t seen any editorial cartoons hilariously exaggerating Obama’s physical traits? You know, like the ones that viciously attacked Bush for the last eight years. Well, don’t hold your breath.

“I had all my villains in place for eight years and they’ve been taken away,” complained Pulitzer Prize winning editorial cartoonist Pat Oliphant. “I don’t know that I’ve ever had this experience before, of a president I maybe like. This is an antagonistic art. We’re supposed to concentrate on finding things wrong. There’s no point in drawing a cartoon that’s favorable.”

Our conclusion? Journalists are the only caricatures left in journalism.

Torture Ban = Civil Rights Act

by Flickr's takomabibelot
by Flickr's takomabibelot

Back in 1989, when Panamanian strongman Manuel Noriega took refuge inside the embassy of the Vatican in Panama City, we blasted rock ‘n roll outside the embassy 24 hours a day until Noriega couldn’t take it anymore.

We said we were serenading him. Noriega said we were torturing him. Good thing CBS newsman Bob Schieffer wasn’t on the scene.

“Hubert Humphrey once said the 1964 Civil Rights Act was America’s single most effective foreign policy initiative,” said Schieffer said. “It…told the world what we stood for and that our system was about fairness and equal treatment and that it worked. I thought about that when Barack Obama announced that torture would never be part of our national policy.”

Kenny G and that damn saxaphone. We say that’s what should be against the Geneva Convention.

Dee Dee Myers finds new ass to kiss

vanity_fair_cover_obama1Bill Clinton’s former press secretary, Dee Dee Myers, has penned an article in the new issue of Vanity Fair in which she says Barack Obama is the most famous living person in the history of the world.

Myers made her comments only after removing her lips from Clinton’s lily white backside, where they have resided since 1995. And then in one quick, seamless move, she immediately attached those same lips to Obama’s considerably-less than lily white backside.

Is Obama the most famous person who ever lived? Here at I Hate The Media, we think not. Obama is famous only on one planet. We vote for Captain Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise, who was known throughout the galaxy.

Hah! Take that, Dee Dee Myers.

Obama goes Arab, says USA acts like dictator

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3mU6DH1PMY President Barack Obama stiffed all the American news channels and gave his first formal television interview to an Arabic cable TV network.

While discussing his orders to new Middle East envoy George Mitchell, Obama told the Dubai-based Al-Arabiya network, “What I told him is start by listening, because all too often the United States starts by dictating.”

Unsubstantiated reports say that Chris Matthews was rushed to a Washington, DC-area emergency room after having multiple thrills rush up his leg. The rapidly-worsening condition has begun to concern those close to Matthews.

Rush vs. Obama: Round Two

rocky_boxing“Obama was angry that Merrill Lynch used $1.2 million of TARP money to remodel an executive suite,” Limbaugh said. “Excuse me, but didn’t Merrill have to hire a decorator and contractor? Didn’t they have to buy the new furnishings? What’s the difference in that and Merrill loaning that money to a decorator, contractor and goods supplier to remodel Warren Buffet’s office? Either way, stimulus in the private sector occurs.”

The thing we love about Rush is the way he makes connections between seemingly unrelated ideas everyone else overlooks. Like this:

“How much money will the Obamas spend redecorating the White House residence? Whose money will be spent? I have no problem with the Obamas re-doing the place. It is tradition.”

“Cancel the new carpet,” Barack screamed to Michelle, “Limbaugh is onto us.”

Where does mania stop and Obama-mania begin?

freudThe Washington Post invited readers to send special messages to our new Fearless Leader on inauguration day. They reserved the right to reject negative ads, but didn’t appear to reject any ads for stupidity.

“I will be in the crowd in front of the Capitol today to witness this historic moment,” said one. “You should have my resume on file…I figured this was the best way to get in touch with you.”

“Congratulations,” said another. “Your leadership is required to change the Psyche of the Personal Economic Unit to solve the problem created by Wall Street.”

This administration doesn’t need a Surgeon General. It needs a Psychiatrist General.

Best Quote of the Week

Kevin & Bean, the morning guys on KROQ-FM in Los Angeles, are our favorite radio personalities. When you read this quote, they may become your favorites, too.

Here’s what Bean had to say about our new president the day after the inauguration:

“I’m not all that impressed with our next President after one day. All I’ve seen so far is, hey, let’s go to parties. Ever since he got into office it’s been nothing but taking his wife out dancing.”

If you’d like to listen to Kevin & Bean, but don’t live in Southern California, go to KROQ.com. You can listen to them live or download their podcasts.

Obama’s illegal alient aunt moves to Cleveland

cleveland signThe incredibly partisan Associated Press has finally done something right. Late, but right.

They used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain federal documents that
prove the Bush administration made it impossible for Immigration officials
to arrest Obama¹s illegal alien aunt before the election

Zeituni Onyango, Obama’s late father’s half-sister was living in public housing in Boston at the time. She is now believed to be living in Cleveland.

We say, “Give the woman a break.” Isn’t living in Cleveland punishment enough?

Homoerotic, Obama-erotic slobbering

photo by MACSURAK on Flickr
photo by MACSURAK on Flickr

Bernard Goldberg’s new book is titled “A Slobbering Love Affair: The True (And Pathetic) Story of the Torrid Romance Between Barack Obama and the Mainstream Media.”

The wackiest quote about Obama? Eli Saslow’s page one story on Christmas morning in The Washington Post:

“The sun glinted off chiseled pectorals sculpted during four weight-lifting sessions each week and a body toned by regular treadmill runs and basketball games.”

We’ll be back a little later. Our computer is overheating.

LA Times thinks Obama = Hitler?

omaba_hitler_croppedhitler arm out smallThe internet is abuzz with commentary about the photo used on the cover of the LA Times post election issue. Why would they select a photo in which Obama appears to be giving a Nazi salute?

The editorial board here at IHateTheMedia.com is even split between those who were raised Catholic and those who were raised Methodist.

Our Catholic contingent thinks the Times’ photo was chosen to make a visual comparison between Obama and Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel painting of God’s hand reaching out to Adam.

Our Methodist contingent says it reminds them of the end of the church service when Methodist ministers traditionally raise their arms toward their flocks and give the final benediction.

But we all agree that anyone who compares Obama to Hitler is way out of line.

He’s actually far more like Lenin.

Fairness Doctrine = redistribution of listeners

slience“Redistribution” wafts ominously over Washington, D.C. these days.

New tax proposals make it clear that this administration wants to redistribute income. The recount farce in Minnesota makes it clear they want to redistribute votes. And the president’s personal attack on Rush Limbaugh makes it clear they want to redistribute radio listeners.

They may call it the Fairness Doctrine. They may call disguise it as new “local content” regulations. But no matter what name they hang on it, the intention is to give radio listeners fewer opportunities to listen to conservative voices by reducing the number of hours those voices are on the air and redistributing those hours to liberal voices. No matter what listeners may want.

Here at I Hate The Media, we always try to put a humorous spin on the days media news.

But there’s nothing funny about this.

Obama takes us past race, Jay-Z brings us back

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p68XfbBmnM0You may have read the news that the election of President Obama has miraculously leapfrogged society past the divisive race issue. Someone should tell his pals Jay-Z, who was given a seat in the VIP section at the inauguration, and fellow-rapper Young Jeezy.

First, they wrote and produced a racist rant disguised as “music” titled “My President Is Black (read the lyrics if you can stomach it).”

Then these two musical geniuses went to a Washington, D.C. club after the inauguration and began screaming racist obscenities that were captured by a videographer, shown in the accompanying video of a Fox News report that contains the entire, disgusting event.

Warning: both links contain obscenities. But they both demonstrate the moral vacuum into which popular music has descended.

By the way, what the hell kind of name is “Young Jeezy” anyway?

CNN attacks Obama. Get me the smelling salts!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziUW5G6n054Lord almighty, hell hath frozen over. Campbell Brown, CNN news anchor, actually attacked the hypocrisy of the new Obama administration.

Here’s the background. Obama announced strict new rules banning lobbyists from his administration. Two days, he attempted to suspend those rules in order to appoint lobbyist William Lynn as Deputy Defense Secretary.

Brown said: “Really? Is this how it’s going to be? Please, please don’t make us all any more cynical than we already are, Mr. President. If you have no intention of abiding by your new rules, then don’t make new rules. That would be actual transparency.”

We appreciate Campbell’s candor and unbiased reporting. But Campbell, honey, we suggest you polish up your resume, because those comments will not sit well with the powers at CNN.

Is that Obama in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

little red bookJust what you’ve been waiting for — the collected wisdom of our new leader contained in one pocket-sized book called “Pocket Obama.” Sure, it’s vaguely reminiscent of Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book, but hell, man, this is Obama we’re talking about here.

According to the publishers, “Pocket Obama serves as a reminder of the amazing power of oratory and the remarkable ability of this man to move people with his words.”

They also say, “It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times.”

Brilliant! Why didn’t we think of that? We know a good idea when we steal it.

IHateTheMedia.com. It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to click on it every day. Illegal aliens, too.

He’s Obama. She’s O-gasmic.

oprah orgasmIt’s the day after the election. Oprah Winfrey and her guests were quivering with O-gasmic delight.

Actor Forest Whitaker said, “The light of the New Age is here.”

Oprah gal pal Gayle King said, “Not only does he hear us. He feels us…he talks to my soul.”

Whitaker saw King’s goofy comment and raised her one by saying, “It’s okay to love” again thanks to the Obamas.

Nutcase historian Doris Kearns Goodwin piped in by saying it’s “extraordinary” to have a president care about history.

But the award for most o-gasmic comment of the day went to Ali Wentworth, wife of ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, who, with a straight face, claimed: “I took the Metro. And everyone was singing Amazing Grace.”

We always attempt to end our stories with an amusing comment. But we are simply incapable of topping Oprah and her guests when it comes to funny.

Obama wants to crush Rush

Rush Limbaugh Pointing FingerPresident Obama warned Republicans to stop listening to Rush Limbaugh if they want to get along with his administration.

“You can’t just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done,” he said to Republican leaders attending a White House meeting to discuss his bloated $1 trillion economic stimulus package.

Too many people listen to Rush, the new president thought to himself. After we’re done redistributing everyone’s income, we’ll start redistributing Limbaugh’s radio listeners.

First Obama carried 28 states. Now he’ll carry your lunch.

Barack Obama L.A. Times toteFirst we had the Obama ninja action figure. Now we have the LA Times Obama tote bag. Who needs a stimulus program when our new president is single-handedly bringing the economy back from the edge of disaster?

This patriotic tote bag proudly displays the front page of LA Times from the day after Obama’s victory. The manufacturer says it “will be a daily reminder of the historic election of Barack Obama. Covered in soft, durable water resistant laminate with double straps and velcro closure, this eye-catching bag is perfect as a large purse, grocery bag or carry-on. Handmade in Los Angeles.”

The front of the bag features the cover of the LA Times and the back of the bag features a photo of Michelle and Barack Obama. And it’s a bargain, my friends, at $64.00.

The way things are going at the LA Times, this may be the only way they can pick up new readers.

Get yours at UncommonGoods.com

Inauguration causes worldwide ecological nightmare

illustration by Mike Cogh
illustration by Mike Cogh

Barack Obama’s inauguration generated unprecedented media coverage around the world.

Turns out the event generated an astounding 35,000 stories in the world’s major newspapers, television and radio broadcasts within 24 hours. That’s 35 times more than the 2005 inauguration — enough to cause the clear cutting of several major forests, increase global warming by several degrees, and swamp Washington, D.C. under several feet of globally-warmed glacier water.

The inauguration of George W. Bush in January 2005 triggered only about 1,000 stories around the world.

Who’d a thunk? Bush was better for the environment than Obama.

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