My God, Lawrence O’Donnell is an annoying twerp

by editor on September 14, 2010

There’s putting lipstick on a pig and there’s putting eyeglasses on a jerk. The first one’s still a pig and the second one’s still a jerk.

Donald Trump showed up Morning Joe the other day and Lawrence O’Donnell demonstrated why no one other than MSNBC would ever consider giving him his own show.

The Donald dispensed with both O’Donnell and Mika Brzezinski.

Trump to O’Donnell: “I don’t profile people like you do.” Translation: “My God, you’re an annoying twerp, O’Donnell.”

To Mika: “You’re naïve.” Translation: “Lord almighty, you’re damn near as stupid as your father.”


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According to Chuck Todd, MSNBC’s increasingly shrill White House correspondent, Barack Obama – who has rarely attended church services since his election – is the most religious president of recent times.


After eight years of berating George Bush for being too Christian, liberal media now praises Barack Obama for supposedly being even more Christian

No. Seriously. That’s what Todd said.

President Obama is more religious than Reagan or H.W. Bush ever was; in fact, he gets Bible verses sent to his blackberry EVERY DAY. FYI, the Pew poll was conducted before the president weighed in on the mosque controversy. One does wonder if it would have helped push back against this nutty narrative had the president picked a church, as he said he would during the campaign, or if he regularly attended church.

Chuck, you probably get Viagra ads in your email every day. That doesn’t make you Hugh Hufner.

Source: MSNBC

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Granted, pointing out hypocrisy on MSNBC is like shooting fish in a barrel, but sometimes it’s even easier than that. Sometimes the fish are already dead and just floating on top. Like on Monday’s Dylan Ratigan Show.

msnbc dylan ratigan

Dylan Ratigan gives Michelle Obama's resume a little "enhancement" here and there

The topic was the Ground Zero mosque and Ratigan – surprise – supports the structure. He opined that New Yorkers like himself who walk past ground zero every day have no problem with the mosque. It’s the people outside of the city, “like people from Alaska that say, ‘Oh my God, the sky is falling, the Muslims are going to kill us’ who stand against the building.”

After the cheap attempt to slag a quote on Sarah Palin for something that she never said, Ratigan offered no proof showing residents of the area agree with the building of the mosque. But this is MSNBC, where truth is irrelevant and facts are merely bothersome.

Ratigan suggested that people outside of NYC are clueless, that their opinions are uninformed and thus matter less than local residents’.

Contrast this with the same network’s coverage of Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law. Are the voices of the Arizona residents who live in danger because of elevated crime rates more relevant than the collective voices of the MSNBC hosts, all of whom stand in support of the federal government’s opposition to the Arizona law?

Will Ratigan’s network stop calling Arizonans who support the bill racists, since they live there and thus know better than outsiders?

The question is rhetorical, of course.

– Written by Sonny Palermo

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MSNBC runs out of white people

by editor on August 9, 2010

It had to happen sooner or later. When every program, every day, points the finger at someone on the right and cries “racist”, it’s inevitable that you’re eventually going to run out of white people to smear with that label. So on Friday MSNBC switched to a black man.

MSNBC’s Ed Schultz invited Karen Hunter on for a repeat of her past performances in which she cried “racist”. But this time she smeared a black man, RNC Chairman Michael Steele. Why Steele you ask? Because the “news” network had already trashed Bachman, Bush and Beck in their earlier programs and had Palin, O’Reilly and the Tea Party scheduled for later in the day.

(As a public service, we’d like to point out that the segment begins at about the 5:30 mark. No reason to watch any more Ed than necessary.)

Hunter attacked Steele because he is touring America in a “Fire Pelosi” bus and said that Nancy Pelosi “should ride in the back.” We assume Hunter deems the statement to be racist because no Caucasian has ever ridden in the back of a bus.

Of course, it wouldn’t be MSNBC if there wasn’t blatant hypocrisy mixed in with their cries of racism, so in maligning Steele, Hunter declared, “I’m waiting for him to put on white face and do a reverse minstrel show.”

Yes, Hunter accused Steele of being a racist using language that cannot be construed as anything but racist.

Rolypoly Eddie laughed along, failing to point out the blatant hypocrisy due to either his ignorance or his dishonesty. Sorry we can’t be more definitive, but it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins on The Ed Show.

– Written by Sonny Palermo

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obama shirtless

Swoon, Chuck Todd, swoon! Here's a life-size Barack Obama poster from this month's issue of Obama Beat!

We didn’t read Teen Beat magazine, but our teenage sisters never missed an issue. We’re still traumatized by the thought of them swooning over life-sized photos of Fabian and Herman’s Hermits.

In that regard MSNBC’s First Read is exactly like Teen Beat. Take, for example, the following “story” from NBC’s Chuck Todd, Mark Murray, Domenico Montanaro, and Ali Weinberg:

Minimize and move on:

The past 30 days have thrown more distractions at the Obama White House and the Democratic Party — Gen. McChrystal’s firing, the furor over Robert Gibbs’ factual remark that the House is in play, the Shirley Sherrod story, and now Charlie Rangel’s new ethics woes. But what we’ve begun to notice is that Team Obama has become MUCH better at dealing with these distractions. They haven’t figured out how to prevent distractions. (What White House can?). But they are getting better at minimizing the damage and then moving on. In fact, despite all the week’s distractions, the White House racked up some important wins. Signing the financial legislation into law. Seeing the unemployment benefits finally pass Congress. And getting Elena Kagan one step closer to become the nation’s next Supreme Court justice. Yes, the White House still can’t stay on message, but they’re showing they’re more nimble in dealing with distractions. Will they ever get to focus two straight weeks on the economy? It hasn’t happened yet.

We’re glad we stumbled across this little jewel of journalistic excellence, otherwise we may have mistakenly believed that the most transparent administration ever best deals with distractions by pretending that they, much like voter dissatisfaction, simply don’t exist.

And aren’t you sad that that groovy President Obama can’t seem to get a break to work on the nasty old economy and jobs? The poor man can’t even get two whole weeks to focus his marvelous, magical, laser vision on them.

We were disappointed, as we’re sure you were, that the MSNBC story did not include a life-sized photo of the best-looking President ever.

Chuck Todd needs another one for his bedroom wall.

Source: MSNBC

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New MSNBC line-up (below) to replace current MSNBC line-up?

communists msnbc

Considering the fact that Marx and Mao are dead, the question that comes to mind is how could MSNBC go more liberal?

The Hill peaks into the future via Keith Olbermann’s tweets:

MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann tweeted on Friday that Comcast wants to make his network “more liberal” when it completes its merger with NBC Universal.

The $30 billion merger is currently under review at the Justice Department and the Federal Communications Commission (FCC).

“Yeah, they want to go more liberal,” Olbermann tweeted in response to a question about the merger.

So apparently Comcast’s business plan calls for an even smaller audience. Or Keith Olbermann is fantasizing.

We know which way we’re leaning toward.


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The mystery, the real, honest-to-god mystery, is why conservatives bother going on MSNBC. It’s not a lot of them ever get invited to guest on cable TV’s answer to the Titanic, but some do.

J.P. Freire, editor of the Washington Examiner, learned his lesson the hard way on Monday when he guested with hothead MSNBC host Dylan Ratigan and had the temerity to expect to be treated as well as Ratigan’s liberal guest.


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They’re sad. They’re angry. They’re confused. Damn, it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann and Howard Fineman just didn’t know what to make of President Obama’s Oval Office Address on the Gusher in the Gulf. But they knew they didn’t like it.

RealClearPolitics has this handy, dandy summary of the trio’s disappointment:

Olbermann: “It was a great speech if you were on another planet for the last 57 days.”

Matthews: compared Obama to Carter.

Olbermann: “Nothing specific at all was said.”

Matthews: “No direction.”

Fineman: “He wasn’t specific enough.”

Olbermann: “I don’t think he aimed low, I don’t think he aimed at all. It’s startling.”

Fineman: Obama should be acting like a “commander-in-chief.”

Matthews: Ludicrous that he keeps saying [Secretary of Energy] Chu has a Nobel prize. “I’ll barf if he does it one more time.”

Matthews: “A lot of meritocracy, a lot of blue ribbon talk.”

Matthews: “I don’t sense executive command.”

Say goodnight, Mr. President. When you’ve lost MSNBC, you’ve lost several dozen Americans.


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The left wing lunatics at are running a poll, but the results are not what they expected. Not even close.

Do you support Arizona’s tough new law on illegal immigration?

In July, Arizona will begin enforcing a new law that requires law enforcement officers to check someone’s immigration status if they have reason to suspect that he or she is in the country illegally. Do you think this is a good idea?

At the time this story was written almost 600,000 votes have already been cast and the tally was “Yes” 95.6%, “No” 4.4%

You can participate in the poll by clicking on this link.

Let’s see if we can give Keith Olbermann a stroke by pushing “Yes” all the way up to 99% of the vote.


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Perhaps that's how they spell "you're" at the pseudo-Ivy League agricultural college Keith Olbermann attended

Ahhh, those rascally radicals at MSNBC. Perhaps they should have spent more of their college careers studying and less time protesting.

While Keith Olbermann was naming Sarah Palin “The Worst Person in the World” and “an idiot”, the ace graphics department at MSNBC misspelled the word “you’re” in an on-screen graphic.

Olbermann: She continued, “I’m glad to be here on the president’s home turf. Somebody told me ‘you know, you’re going into enemy territory. I said it’s Chicago, it’s not MSNBC.’ That woman is an idiot. And the event at which that idiot spoke was sponsored by an Illinois firm that specializes in battery-operated back-up sump pumps. Not just a sump-pump political event: it was a back-up sump-pump political event. Moreover, to put it plainly, and this is a matter of record, that woman does not have the courage, personal or political, to appear on MSNBC. Not without and army with her, and I mean that literally. the half-governor of Alaska now celebrating two years without holding an actual news conference or having the guts to appear on a network like this one. But the toast of America’s back-up sump pump political circuit. Today’s Worst Person in the World.

Let us spell this out for you, Keith. Your a vile human bean.


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This is not the original video we had up; it was “removed by user.” We’ve replaced it with one that is on the same subject, but sadly, not as good.

Immediately after the Times Square bombing, left wing pundits quickly tried and convicted some unknown, unnamed group of right wing domestic terrorists.

But when it was discovered that the crime was committed by yet another Muslim terrorist, the story immediately flipped to “The poor terrorists will become victims of rightwing racism.”

So which group do you fall into? Right wing domestic terrorist? Right wing racist? Or both?

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MSNBC reporter Kelly O’Donnell, the whitest woman alive, was convinced that racism must run rampant at tea party events. The result is the following conversation with Darryl Postell, a black tea party protester:

O’Donnell: There aren’t a lot of African-American men at these events.
Postell: (laughing) Right.
O’Donnell: Have you ever felt uncomfortable?
Postell: No, no, these are my people, Americans.

That’s a great answer. No doubt about it. But here are 18 other answers we’d love to have heard:

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Joe Biden speaks.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time I see the way Chris Matthews looks at Barack Obama

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Nancy Pelosi walks through Washington clutching a ganormous gavel.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time a Congressman discusses a tickle party

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time a bunch of Democrats talk about how low taxes are.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Barack Obama says he wants to be clear.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time a climatologist announces a “stunning finding.”

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Harry Reid smiles, although I’ve yet to see that happen.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time someone says I should be saying “thank you” for raising taxes while calling it a “tax cut”.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time I hear the words “windfall” and “profits” used together.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Barack Obama goes off teleprompter.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Maddow and Olbie say “tea bag” with a knowing smirk.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Nancy Pelosi gives a “gift to the American People”.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Joe Biden says “but seriously” or “mark my words”

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time Nancy Pelosi says “We have to pass the bill so we can tell you what’s in it.”

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time reporters start pushing “advocacy journalism”.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time the leader of the free world bows to dictators and snubs allies.

– Yes, I feel uncomfortable every time socialists tell me that taking my money is fair.

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Joan Walsh, the editor of Salon, sat at the eye of a hurricane on MSNBC’s Morning Joe show on Tuesday. Walsh was shocked – shocked, we tell you – that Mika and Joe thought there were any extreme voices on the left.

It was so inane that Mika, who’s never been accused of being a conservative, went into an impromptu impression of Walsh feigning ignorance.

No vitriol-spewing leftists in the media, Joan? Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s never listened to Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Michael Moore, Al Sharpton, Stephanie Miller, Mike Malloy, Rachel Maddow, Randi Rhodes, Ed Schultz, Al Franken, Janeane Garofalo…

Care to give Ms. Walsh any other suggestions?


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Keith Olbermann often read James Thurber to his dying father. We’re pretty sure that if we could get our hands on Dad Olbermann’s death certificate, the cause of death would be listed as “Boredom.”

Knee slappers. Real knee slappers. If by “knee slapper” you really mean stuff designed to drive viewers to the remote control.

The only possible answer for this remarkably self-indulgent presentation is that Olbermann has photos of NBC executives at that bestiality farm in Washington. The only possible answer.

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Eliot Spitzer, MSNBC host. It had to happen and we are, quite frankly, embarrassed that we never predicted it.

Ashley Dupre

Our fantasy: Ashley Dupre, MSNBC weather girl

Former New York Governor and Client Number Nine Eliot Spitzer has landed himself a new gig – guest host on MSNBC. And what better place for a lying, whoring, cheating lowlife?

Spitzer and Monica Novotny co-anchored for Dylan Ratigan. Mediaite reports that, “Through several interviews based on finance, but also foreign policy and more, Spitzer held his own, was engaging – and certainly proved this may not be a random occurrence.”

You know what would be perfect? If MSNBC hired Ashley Dupre to be Spitzer’s weather girl.

“The forecast calls for chilly temperatures. So make sure you wear your socks to bed again tonight, Eliot.”

Call us Client Number Ten. Because we’d pay to see that.


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david shuster

CNN wants to recreate the ratings magic that got David Shuster demoted at MSNBC

How bad are things at CNN when they turn to MSNBC’s David Shuster for ratings salvation?

The New York Times Media Decoder blog has the details of Shuster’s disturbing disloyalty:

David Shuster, an anchor on MSNBC, recently participated in a test of a new show. But not for his own network.

MSNBC executives were highly displeased when they learned about his test for the competing news channel CNN through a New York Observer article Friday morning, and they are now contemplating their response.

“If true, this is unacceptable and David will be punished appropriately,” an MSNBC spokesman, Jeremy Gaines, said Friday afternoon.

Reached for comment, Mr. Shuster referred the call to his agent and said he could not confirm or deny the Observer report.

The Observer said CNN’s “in-house team shot a pilot for a news show featuring David Shuster of MSNBC and Michel Martin of NPR as co-anchors.”

Mr. Shuster is under contract to MSNBC, raising questions about the appropriateness of the CNN pilot. Two people with knowledge of Mr. Shuster’s contract said it is set to expire at the end of this year. They requested anonymity because Mr. Shuster and MSNBC would not comment on the contract’s length.

Now we’re no David Shuster fans, but we actually think CNN could do a lot worse that hiring the bellicose Shuster. In fact, MSNBC is already doing a lot worse.

[click to continue…]

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You know, we seem to start all our Ed Schultz stories with the words, “Poor Ed Schultz.” This one is no exception.

Poor Ed Schultz. The loud-mouthed MSNBC host tried to use Democrat talking points (or in Ed’s case, shouting points) on the Heritage Foundation’s Ernest Istook.

It didn’t work. Poor Ed ended up looking even more foolish than usual, which is quite an impressive accomplishment.

H/T: Ace of Spades

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olbermann ratings

Uh-oh. Looks like Olbermann rantings do not translate to Olbermann ratings

At what point do the geniuses up in the executive suites at MSNBC look at the latest ratings and ask themselves the reasonable question, “Why are we paying Olbermann $7 million a year?”

We call it reasonable because Olbermann’s Countdown show got higher ratings while he was off the air.

MediaBistro reports the bad news for the oleaginous Olbermann:

As we reported, yesterday was Keith Olbermann’s official return to MSNBC after being away for more than a month. And with the March ratings period now complete (it ended Sunday), Olbermann’s substitute host, Lawrence O’Donnell, helped give “Countdown” its best month of the quarter, but still down — 21% — compared to March ’09.

Admittedly, “higher” ratings is a relative term at the ratings-challenged network. And a 21% increase doesn’t translate to a lot of additional viewers.

Nevertheless, think of all the additional limos and champagne and caviar the MSNBC execs could afford to buy if they weren’t paying Olbermann’s exorbitant salary. And don’t think they’re not thinking the same thing.


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When raging about the Tea Parties, Keith Olbermann, MSNBC’s resident lunatic, demanded to know, “Where are the black faces?

While watching the NCAA basketball tournament, it occurred to us that the hypocritical host should, perhaps, ask the same question about his alma mater’s athletic program. Despite the fact that college basketball is dominated by black players, only four of the 20 players listed on Cornell’s NCAA men’s championship tournament roster are black. (Another black player was treated like a second class citizen by being relegated to the school’s practice squad and not even being issued a uniform number.)

Cornell men Coach Steve Donahue is white. Assistant Coach Nat Graham, white. Assistant Coach Woody Kampmann, white. Assistant Coach Kevin App, white.

[click to continue…]

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This report from may explain why Keith Olbermann seems to be doing a Yosemite Sam impression every night.

“In total Viewers, Fox News was the #2 ranked cable network last week in primetime, averaging 233,000 viewers behind USA. MSNBC was #26, CNN was #32, and HLN was #37.”

The Cartoon Network was #13, despite the fact that MSNBC and CNN’s programming is much funnier.

Looks like the end of the line for the rivals of Fox News. Play Taps. Say sayonara. Kiss ’em goodbye. Or in the immortal words of Porky Pig, “Th-th-th–th-th-that’s all, folks.”


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David Shuster gets another plum assignment

by editor on March 18, 2010

There it is on MSNBC’s home page: “Is America Ready? Vote on whether prostitution should be legalized.”

We’re pretty sure this is a documentary about Mary Landrieu.

Source: National Review (deadlink)

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Would CNN's last viewer kindly turn out the lights?

CNN can’t figure out what it’s doing wrong. All they know is that viewers are abandoning them like they’re the Titanic and Fox News is the iceburg. reports the chilling details:

CNN’s saw its worst primetime averages in a year as its primetime programs hit ratings lows.

… In February’s total day and primetime demo, CNN finished in fifth place for the first time ever, behind FNC, MSNBC, HLN, and CNBC. (Note: Includes Olympic coverage.)

“Campbell Brown” and “AC360” saw their lowest total viewers since their launch, and “Larry King Live” saw its lowest in at least 13 years. In the demo, it was Cooper’s lowest rated month ever and it was the second lowest rated months for King and Brown. CNN’s primetime was down -54% in total viewers (-57% demo) from last year. The biggest decrease of any network.

Competitively, CNN topped MSNBC in total day and daytime hours, but CNN was also down in total day compared to last year (-35% in total viewers and -40% in the demo).

In its first full-month since launching, “Rick’s List” averaged 560k total viewers and 111k in the demo, which is down -43% and -52% respectively in the time slot from last year.

Say good night, Campbell. Say good night, Larry. Say good night, Rick. Say good night, Cooper.


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Fox makes news, MSNBC reports it

by editor on March 14, 2010

Such is the dwindling stature of MSNBC that they’ve taken to reporting events that occur on Fox.

For example, MSNBC’s Morning Joe show devoted an entire segment to Glenn Beck’s interview with disgraced Democrat Congressman Eric Massa. And it was surprisingly even-handed.

“Let me tell you something,” said Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough. “[Beck] was not on his heels. He just, he played straight man and Donny Deutsch, he was, he did it very, very well.

Deutsch agreed saying, “Beck actually helped his brand a lot because he went from the crazy idiot to kind of a good interviewer. You know what I mean? And you know, you couldn’t help but not enjoy Glenn Beck yesterday, speaking from the extreme left.”

First of all, Deutsch doesn’t have to tell us he speaks from the extreme left because he’s a regular guest on MSNBC, so that’s just understood.

Second, nobody knows brands better than former ad genius Deutsch. So when he says Beck helped his brand, you know it’s true.

And third, well, we don’t really have a third point, but we needed to fill a little more space at the bottom of this story.


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We are concerned about the health of MSNBC’s Chris Matthews. Very concerned. The MSNBC host has apparently suffered an unannounced stroke that has left him unable to put together a coherent question. Take this clip, for example, where he tries to compare former Vice President Dick Cheney to Jor-El, Superman’s father on the planet Krypton.

Matthews: One of the new ideas that Dick Cheney’s trying to sell right now is his daughter, Steve. He reminds me of that Marlon Brando character in…in Superman up on Krypton. The island is about to…the planet is about to blow up. So he puts his little kid, in this case Superman, into a little capsule and sends him to Earth. It’s like Cheney knows his whole world is blowing up, so he’s put his little daughter in this capsule and is sending her to us. It just seems like he’s spending all his time, it’s kind of like a booster rocket, building one for his offspring. What’s going on with this family?

We were tempted to close this out this story with a Bizarro reference, but it would have been just be too damn easy.


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Graphic depiction of MSNBC's ratings

Another month of absolutely stellar ratings over at MSNBC. Hah! Just kidding. They sucked even more than they did in January. reports the highlights lowlights:

“Countdown” and “Rachel Maddow” ended the month averaging the second-most viewers in their time slots, ahead of CNN and HLN, but behind Fox News. “Countdown” finished the month averaging 964,000 total viewers (350,000 demo) and “Rachel Maddow” finished with 819K total viewers (213K demo).

But both were down from February of 2009. Olbermann was down -29% in total viewers (-43% demo) and Maddow was down -44% in total viewers (-33% demo). “Morning Joe” remains in 4th among the morning shows, and MSNBC programs from 9am-5pm still trail CNN and HLN.

Outstanding, Keith. Fabulous, Rachel. Has anyone seen Ed Schultz lately?


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