Tag: twitter

Fred Thompson’s Top 10 Funniest Tweets

Turns out former Republican senator and presidential candidate Fred Thompson has taken to Twitter in a big way. If brevity is the soul of wit, Thompson is the king of the 140-character commentary.

fred thompson funny tweets
Why wasn't Fred Thompson this funny out on the campaign trail?

Turns out former Republican senator and presidential candidate Fred Thompson has taken to Twitter in a big way. If brevity is the soul of wit, Thompson is the king of the 140-character commentary.

Here are our ten favorites:

  1. Hillary in Kiev, Ukraine: prosperity should be “equally spread”. No – doesn’t work. That’s why you didn’t speak in Kiev, USSR.
  2. Jimmy Buffet: oil spill Bush’s fault. Why trust his opinion? He can’t even keep track of a shaker of salt.
  3. Justice Kennedy: won’t retire while Obama in office. So we’re safe, barring accident, illness, or Rolling Stone interview.
  4. 43% of swine flu vaccine unused & to be destroyed. Sounds bad, but will look like model of efficiency after ObamaCare kicks in.
  5. 10,000-year-old hunting weapon found near Yellowstone National Park. Next to it was a 10,000 year old Democrat trying to ban it.
  6. Chris Matthews:fix recession like we fixed Great Depression. So…keep spending like crazy & wait for Japan to bomb Peal Harbor?
  7. During Biden speech, GE exec collapsed on stage. When that happens, best to just stay calm & check the victim for snoring.
  8. From Blago trial: Oprah considered for Obama seat. Ridiculous! I’ve been in the Senate. Jerry Springer’s the man for the job.
  9. Census workers caught faking 10,000 forms. At least now we’ll have people to fill Obama’s fake stimulus jobs.
  10. Obama: coming budget cuts will give people “difficult choices”. Thought we already got that with “buy insurance or go to jail”?

H/T: Los Angeles Times

Twitter/fredthompson

CNN airs anti-Semitic twitter tweets

It’s bad enough that CNN begs viewers to send in videos, in effect, asking them to do the job that used to be called reporting. But now they’re airing apparently unedited viewer tweets with what should have been predictably bad results.

It’s bad enough that CNN begs viewers to send in videos, in effect, asking them to do the job that used to be called reporting. But now they’re airing apparently unedited viewer tweets with what should have been predictably bad results.

Politico reports:

CNN’s practice of running viewers’ Twitter feeds at the bottom of its screen put some jarringly raw anti-Israel and anti-Semitic sentiment on cable during an interview with Wolf Blitzer, a reader pointed out to me today, and the segment above illustrates.

As Wolf Blitzer and Rick Sanchez talked about the crisis in U.S. Israel relations, captions included, “Israel is greedy,” and “Jewish lobby runs America.”

The items are authentic replies to Sanchez’s Twitter feed and come with attributions to their Twitter authors, but the source isn’t immediately obvious to a viewer unfamiliar with the social network, and it’s hard to imagine CNN intends to air conspiracy theories about the “Jewish lobby” (not even the “Israel lobby”!).

Can you imagine, can you just imagine the howls of liberals indignation is this had happened on Fox News?

Source: Politico

Limbaugh may have had heart attack, liberals definitely have morality attack

Hate has never been demonstrated more clearly than by some of the tweets left by left wing Rush Limbaugh haters upon hearing news of the talk titan’s Honolulu hospitalization.

Get well soon, Rush, and get back behind the golden EIB mic

We attack liberals and the liberal media 24/7 here at IHateTheMedia.com. And although we wish liberal policies would die, we’ve never wished that a liberal would die.

Fact is, we can’t think of any conservatives who’ve wished for the death of any liberals. Sure, there may be a whacked out lone wolf out there who’s done it, but we can’t think of any incident that has caused conservatives en masse to wish for the death of any liberal.

Liberals demonstrate a completely different kind of anger than conservatives do. In short, they hate people, but we hate policies.

This has never been demonstrated more clearly than by some of the tweets left by left wing Limbaugh haters upon hearing news of the talk titan’s Honolulu hospitalization.

It’s ugly out there in liberal land. And we’re not just talking about the women.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK: Some vile language and a lot of vile thoughts are included.

@kenneth212 Rush Limbaugh was rushed to the hospital in Honolulu. Maybe Santa did get my letter.
@tontocorazon RT @Pumpy_Beanis DIE RUSH LIMBAUGH YOU F***ING PIG MAN JUST F***ING DIE
@phontigallo: I was scared of another death this year til I heard Rush Limbaugh was in the hospital. Come on 2009; don’t fail me now
@amazingatheist: Ruch Limbaugh hospitalized with chest pains. Let’s all hope he dies.
@heartfeltrobot YES VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS! RT @cnnbrk Radio host Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a Honolulu hospital with chest pains.
@Teevho Rush Limbaugh in serious condition in the hospital? Oh happy day! Are they sure he didn’t just ingest too much hillbilly heroin?
@bbb1962 RT @MelechT: Rush Limbaugh was rushed to the Hospital. Just when I thought Christmas was over… #divinejustice #kanyeshrug *Lmfao!*
@Yves_V So Rush Limbaugh in the hospital? If he dies, 2009 won’t be so bad after all #JustSayin
@twofacedmonster So sad…cough. RT @cnnbrk: Radio host Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a Honolulu hospital with chest pains
@OTOOLEFAN: Rush Limbaugh rushed to the hospital? Are the Death Panels in place yet?
@riegelracing Rush Limbaugh had a heart attack?!?! Its a late birthday present!!!!!!
@stratogato Rush Limbaugh, say hello to LUCIFER when you get there my friend
@margery Is Rush Limbaugh terminally sick? Yippee
@ocicat_bengals Smite Rush Limbaugh in 2009!
@ZSS This just in, Rush Limbaugh hospitalized. How much you want to bet the words “hookers” and “blow” aren’t too far behind?
@RJ_Acosta i now heard this rush guy is an asshole,Rush Limbaugh,i hope you die in hell mother f**ker!
@dingane1: if rush Limbaugh dies ill let 09 slide on taking MJ
@the_condor RUSH LIMBAUGH SHOULD BE IN PRISON FOR HATE CRIMES. LET HIM DIE.
@dreamhampton Rush Limbaugh doesnt deserve to die the same year as MJ. Keep breathin u fat f**k
#JerseyHardcore9 Btw f**k rush limbaugh hope he had a coronary and finally bit it
@Mysterious_Andy In case that last tweet was unclear: I hope that hate-mongering f**k, Rush Limbaugh, dies. The world would be a better place without him.
@9thwardBee Rush Limbaugh can choke on a fat dick F**k Him!
@KushME Rush Limbaugh n tha hospital… Shit that fool gets no sympathy from me… he doesn’t like my kind! So f**k em!
@BEZZLE “MAN F**K Rush Limbaugh TELL EM I SAID IT!” TELL HIM I CO-SIGNED THE F**K ALSO WITH A SWINE FLU INDUCED BABY LEG IN HIS ASS
@iHateJeffBaker Rush Limbaugh Hospitalized in Hawaii. Guess what? Who gives a f**k? Not I.
eapsta: F**k I hope rush limbaugh is really dead
@SaidInTexas “All I want to hear is that Rush Limbaugh is dead! I got up early. I’ve watched all day. Just DIE already.” woman on phone in Odessa sbux
@beauessai You know, I think I could have forgiven this decade for all its bullshit if it had ended with a dead Limbaugh.

This is more than vaguely reminiscent of a story we did on a British website called MaggiesDead.com. It celebrates the “imminent” death of former British Prime Minister Maggie Thatcher. Sick, sick, sick.

Peace, love and happiness, libs.

Partial source: Race42012.com

TV station might want to reconsider putting tweets on its outdoor board

TV stations across America use outdoor boards to promote their local news anchors. So far, so good. Then some genius in WPMI-TV’s promotion department decided to add tweets to the station’s outdoor board. Bad mistake.

billboard tweets

TV stations across America use outdoor boards to promote their local news anchors. So far, so good.

Then some genius in WPMI-TV’s promotion department decided to add tweets to the station’s outdoor board. Bad mistake.

The station’s general manager and news director have now been suspended for a week because of this embarrassing juxtaposition of news and advertising.

Source: National Review

CNN “fact check” becomes butt of joke on Twitter

What was CNN thinking when they did a “fact check” on a Saturday Night Live skit that criticized President Obama? What were they thinking?

Toonces the driving cat doesn’t wear a seatbelt!
Toonces the driving cat doesn’t wear a seatbelt!

What was CNN thinking when they did a “fact check” on a Saturday Night Live skit that criticized President Obama? What were they thinking?

The so-called news network’s absurd “fact check” of a comedy skit has deservedly become the butt of an on-going joke on Twitter.

The basic idea? If CNN is going to fact check the President Obama skit, they must be fact checking other SNL skits, too.

For example:

@DefiantKembro ‘El Nino’ is not Spanish for “the Nino” #CNNFactCheck

@EnasYorl “Wayne’s World” was not really a public access cable show. #CNNfactcheck

@ArielAkiva The superfans were not actually having heart attacks. #cnnfactcheck

@thecomeback After checking every river in America, we have not been able to find a motivational speaker living in a van. #CNNfactcheck

@jeffdobbs: Over half of Saturday Night Live is NOT ON SATURDAY NIGHT for Eastern time zone. Outrage. #CNNFactCheck

@jkfecke In fact, Blue Öyster Cult never included a cowbell player named Gene Frenkle–the musician didn’t exist. #CNNFactCheck

@mikehassinger: This just in: “Toonces the driving cat” not real cat, can’t even DRIVE! #CNNFactCheck

This is citizen journalism at its finest. OK, second finest after a certain smartass political commentary site that modesty prohibits us from mentioning.

Source: Examiner.com

Obama calls Kayne West a “jackass,” says nothing about ACORN scandal

Terry Moran, a reporter for ABC News, upset the White House last night when he tweeted: “Pres. Obama just called Kanye West a “jackass” for his outburst at VMAs when Taylor Swift won. Now THAT’S presidential.”

The President called Kanye West a jerk, but doesn't want to admit it. Kind of like Obama's our president, but we don't want to admit it.
The President called Kanye West a jerk, but doesn't want to admit it. Kind of like Obama's our president, but we don't want to admit it.

Terry Moran, a reporter for ABC News, upset the White House last night when he tweeted:

“Pres. Obama just called Kanye West a ‘jackass’ for his outburst at VMAs when Taylor Swift won. Now THAT’S presidential.”

The tweet was soon removed, but not before it spread throughout the Twitosphere.

Did President Obama really say it? If so, why was it removed from Moran’s Twitter page? Here’s how ABC later explained it:

In the process of reporting on remarks by President Obama that were made during a CNBC interview, ABC News employees prematurely tweeted a portion of those remarks that turned out to be from an off-the-record portion of the interview. This was done before our editorial process had been completed. That was wrong. We apologize to the White House and CNBC and are taking steps to ensure that it will not happen again.

So there’s no question that Obama said it. He just doesn’t want anyone to know he said it, because, appartnely, it’s not Presidential to call someone a jackass.

This undoubtedly explains the President’s complete silence on the ACORN scandal. It’s just wouldn’t be Presidential to call an organization “a bunch of corrupt jerks who are ripping off the American taxpayers and undermining democracy.”

Source: Politico.com

Twitter down – Tweet here Back up

Many of us are hooked on Twitter, and this morning’s Denial of Service attack that’s taken it (and LiveJoural) down is causing withdrawl pains for millions, inclduing many readers of IHTM. So, here is your substitute drug: post all the comments you want on this post in 140 characters or less.

Many of us are hooked on Twitter, and this morning’s Denial of Service attack that’s taken it (and LiveJoural) down is causing withdrawl pains for millions, inclduing many readers of IHTM. So, here is your substitute drug: post all the comments you want on this post in 140 characters or less.

CNN magically transforms “twitterers” into “unnamed sources”

At a time when the Iranian thugocracy has clamped down on foreign reporters, CNN still managed to get some great quotes from unnamed pro-democracy protesters. Unfortunately for CNN, the sharp-eyed folks at BNO News figured out why they were unnamed – the quotes were actually tweets that had been posted by an anonymous Iranian Twitterer called PersianKiwi.

CNN's credibility is tattered and twittered
CNN's credibility is tattered and twittered

Which will vanish from CNN sooner – its last viewer or its last remaining shred of credibility? It’s a race down to the wire.

At a time when the Iranian thugocracy has clamped down on foreign reporters, CNN still managed to get some great quotes from unnamed pro-democracy protesters. Unfortunately for CNN, the sharp-eyed folks at BNO News figured out why they were unnamed – the quotes were actually tweets that had been posted by an anonymous Iranian Twitterer called PersianKiwi.

Here are PersianKiwi’s original tweets posted in the morning hours of June 24:

they were waiting for us – they all have guns and riot uniforms – it was like a mouse trap – ppl being shot like animals #Iranelection 6:53 AM Jun 24th from web

I see many ppl with broken arms/legs/heads – blood everywhere – pepper gas like war – #Iranelection 6:35 AM Jun 24th from web

Later in the day, CNN.com posted the following story:

TEHRAN, Iran (CNN) — Security forces wielding clubs and firing weapons beat back hundreds of would-be demonstrators who had flocked to a square in the capital on Wednesday to continue protests against an election they have denounced as fraudulent, witnesses told CNN.

“They were waiting for us,” one source said. “They all have guns and riot uniforms. It was like a mouse trap.”

“I see many people with broken arms, legs, heads – blood everywhere – pepper gas like war,” the source said.

Similar unnamed “sources” tell us that Ashton Kutcher is heading for the store to buy some cheese and crackers. But we’re not putting in a story.

Uh-oh. Looks like we just did.

Source: Gawker via MediaBistro.com

The sad decline of #iranelection tweets

This chart above sadly tells the tale of the declining #iranelection Twitter activity of this nascent second Iranian Revolution.

Iran iranelection tweets

Twitter is widely recognized for the role it has played in assisting the people of Iran in their struggle to regain their voice, lost in the 1979 Iranian Revolution. The tweets (Twitter messages) from supporters all around the world, particularly the United States, gave them hope, tactical and logistical information, and importantly, a megaphone to the outside world.

The volume of tweets was astonishing, producing never before seen numbers. It was so invaluable that our state department asked Twitter to postpone a critical scheduled system maintenance. Tens of thousands of tweets tagged with the hashtag #iranelection were being made each hour.

But, the chart (real-time here) above sadly tells the tale of the declining Twitter activity of this nascent second Iranian Revolution. We attribute part of it to the punishing crackdown by the Mullahs. The rest can be explained only by the short attention span of the media and its spectators. On to the next topic: Michael Jackson, which was enough to even snuff out most discussion of the Cap and Trade vote.

But, maybe, just maybe if our president would have “meddled,” and led a Reagan-like rallying cry, it might have kept the issue alive in the media, ignited the world beyond Twitter, to whole nations, to do more for the Iranian people. What could we have done more? We don’t know exactly. We never do. And we will never know.

The “hope” seems to be gone now, the once-in-a-generation chance for “change” gone. Inspiring, courageous leaders, who believe their words, make a difference.

The 4 RINO cap ‘n traiters with Twitter accounts have nothing to tweet

Four of the eight republicans who voted for the Cap and Trade (American Clean Energy and Security Act) tax bill have active Twitter accounts, but nothing to tweet about it.

Eight so-called republicans voted “Yes” for the Cap and Trade (American Clean Energy and Security Act) tax bill that goes against the most basic of core conservative principles.

Four of the eight RINO’s active Twitter accounts, so we checked their page at 6:00PM PST, more than 24 hours after they helped the democrats pass what was no doubt the most devastating vote they have ever made in the House of Representatives. Let’s see what they tweeted (posted, for those of you not fluent in the language of the bird).

Mary Bono Mack (R-CA)

mary bono mack

@marybonomack

Not even a mention of Cap and Trade, but she’s got two other tweets for you.

Today is Internat’l Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking-We must step up efforts to end the dangerous cycle of abuse and addiction
8:13 PM (PST) Jun 26th (after the vote)

Voting to rein in spending in the latest appropriations bill on the House floor-From FY07-09, non-defense spending has increased 85 percent!
8:21 PM Jun 26th (PST) (after the vote)

Mark Kirk (D-IL)

mark kirk@markkirk

Maybe we should give Mark a break, having go to a White House luau with these two lovely ladies the night before. He must have been tired, as the post date was three minutes to midnight EST and he was just getting started. We wonder what kind of pork the democrats gave him in his take-come bag.

Going to the White House Cong Luau w/ 2 of the nicest ladies on Cap Hill-Pat Smith & Doris Rogers
2:27 AM Jun 26th

Mike Castle (R-DE)

mike castle@repmikecastle

Nothing to say to his 702 followers.

Dave Reichert (R-WA)

dave reichert@davereichert

Nothing to say to his 2,096 followers

Obama’s fly starts tweeting, generates lots of buzz

The pesky fly that met its untimely end on camera at the hand of President Obama has been reborn online. Follow the fly here on Twitter.

obama fly Peta

First Obama’s Teleprompter started its own blog. Now the swat heard ’round the world has reverberated into the Twittersphere. The pesky fly that met its untimely end on camera at the hand of President Obama has been reborn online. Follow the fly here:

@aflyobamakilled

Here’s the first post when the fly woke up as its reincarnated Twitter self:

Hey, where am I? I was just chillin’ on a big hand when, bam, I wake up here!

Hmm. Sounds like bad karma: You’re a fly in one life. You get swatted. You come back again as a fly? Tough break.

How to help the Iranian Revolution through Twitter

A guide to helping the Iranian protesters in Iran so you do not harm the Iranian protesters by doing things on Twitter that can give away locations of people tweeting and otherwise communicating to us from within Iran, or spread other information that could play into the hands of the Iranian government.

There are several tweets per second regarding Iran on Twitter right now. You can catch what going on at either:

http://search.twitter.com/search?q=iranelection

or

http://search.twitter.com/search?q=gr88

It’s inspiring, sad, angering and confusing. But it’s history unfolding in front of your very eyes. It very well could be the first revolution aided by social networks, in particular Twitter.

But make sure you do not harm the Iranian protesters by doing things on Twitter that can give away locations of people tweeting and otherwise communicating to us from within Iran, or spread other information that could play into the hands of the Iranian government.

Here are some rules of the road:

  1. Use only hashtags #iranelection and #gr88. These are the only ones most people are following.
  2. Change your Twitter setting to say your location is Tehran and you time zone is GMT +3:30 so there become way too many people for security forces to monitor.
  3. Do not tweet proxy IP addresses as government forces are monitoring tweets. Those that know how to send the proxies to them are doing so. If you are creating new proxies for our Iranian friends, DM them to @stopAhmadi or @iran09 for distribution. Otherwise they will be immediately blocked.
  4. Do not retweet the names/handles of sources from within Iran! Don’t name them anywhere, on a site, in an email, nowhere. You could cause their death.
  5. Don’t believe everything you read and automatically retweet, especially regrading locations, as government forces are now tweeting false information to hunt and trap people.

By the way, we just heard a report of a group of 500 security forces turning sides. We can only hope and pray this is true.

Note: If you have any other things we should cover, place a comment here and we’ll update the list with it.

Top 100 137 “Three Words” Liberals Hate

There is a new hashtag being used by conservatives on Twitter in recent days. It’s #3wordslibshate and people are tweeting three word phrasea that liberals hate. The #3wordslibshate hashtag follows many other “3words” hashtags, which have sprung up lately.

You can use Twitter’s search function to get real time results of what people are what people are tweeting to this category.

But there were so many good ones, going by so quickly, and which will eventually just disappear from the Twitter page, we decided to pick out what we thought were the Top 100 Three Words Liberals Hate, and memorialize them here.

Use the search link above to look for other good ones and post them below. Or, just make up your own and post them. We’ll expand this list with any good ones.

Now, you can help your pals at IHateTheMedia.com gain a little popularity by Tweeting the following message on Twitter:

Top 100 Three Words Liberals Hate http://is.gd/FxNl #3wordslibshate

Make sure you keep the hashtag in the end so those interested in the subject will see it.

Make sure you keep the #3wordslibshate in the tweet.

Here is the list, in alphabetical order:

    1. A proud American
    2. Acorn voter fraud
    3. Ambassador John Bolton
    4. A fair election
    5. Abortion is murder
    6. America is great
    7. America’s founding fathers
    8. Armed and dangerous
    9. Axis Of Evil
    10. Barack Hussein Obama
    11. Biden press conference
    12. Black conservative republican
    13. Boy Scout troop
    14. Bush won Florida
    15. By the people
    16. Checks and Balances
    17. Chicago tea party
    18. Children need fathers
    19. Climate change hoax
    20. Coal fired plant
    21. Coldest winter ever
    22. Conservative on campus
    23. Conservative talk radio
    24. Contract with America
    25. Dead can’t vote
    26. Drill baby drill
    27. Fair tax now
    28. Fly over country
    29. Fox News Channel
    30. Fox News Ratings
    31. Free market economy
    32. Freedom isn’t free
    33. Freedom of religion
    34. George W. Bush
    35. Get a job
    36. Get my gun
    37. Give me liberty
    38. God bless America
    39. God given rights
    40. God loves you
    41. Guns save lives
    42. Have no fear
    43. Here’s your bill
    44. I love America
    45. I made millions
    46. Increased military spending
    47. It’s my money!
    48. Jesus is coming
    49. Joe the Plumber
    50. Joe Biden Speaks
    51. Judeo Christian nation
    52. Justice Clarence Thomas
    53. Justice is blind
      Let freedom ring
    54. Let us pray
    55. Let voters decide
    56. Liberal media bias
    57. Life from conception
    58. Life isn’t fair
    59. Life, liberty, happiness
    60. Limited federal government
    61. Lock and load
    62. Man and wife
    63. Mandated term limits
    64. Marriage is sacred
    65. Mary Jo Kopecknick
    66. Men only club
    67. Merit based pay
    68. Michael Savage show
    69. Middle American values
    70. Monica’s blue dress
    71. Mr. and Mrs.
    72. Nancy Pelosi Lied
    73. Nation under God
    74. National Rifle Association
    75. Natural born citizenv
    76. No free lunch
    77. Nice fur coat
    78. No more earmarks
    79. No new taxes
    80. Not everyone wins
    81. Nuclear power plant
    82. Obama’s college records
    83. Obama’s half white
    84. Off of welfare
    85. Old fashioned values
    86. Om Kippur war
    87. Original birth certificate
    88. Partial Birth Abortion
    89. Peace through strength
    90. People have spoken
    91. Pledge of Allegiance
    92. Praise the Lord
    93. Private heath insurance
    94. Private property rights
    95. Prop 8 upheld
    96. Respect the constitution
    97. Reverend Jeremiah Wright
    98. Rich white man
    99. Right to cary
    100. Right to life
    101. Right to Secede
    102. Right to work
    103. Rule of law
    104. Rush is right
    105. Sarah Louise Palin
    106. Save the Hummer
    107. Second Amendment Rights
    108. Secret union ballot
    109. Secure the border
    110. Separation of powers
    111. Shave your legs
    112. Shoot to kill
    113. Smith and Wesson
    114. Stop judicial activism
    115. Successful hardworking entrepreneur
    116. Supply & demand
    117. Support our troops
    118. Swift Boat Veterans
    119. Take no prisoners
    120. Tax free cigarettes
    121. Teleprompter is broken
    122. Thank a veteran.
    123. The 10th amendment
    124. The citizen militia
    125. The Reagan Revolution
    126. The Ten Commandments
    127. The tenth amendment
    128. Traditional American family
    129. Two thousand twelve
    130. United States Constitution
    131. United States Marines
    132. Vote only once
    133. War on terror
    134. Well-armed citizenry
    135. Work not welfare
    136. Yes, I can
    137. You’re the father

Sorry there are no attributions, but with so many Retweets, it’s hard to tell who came up with what.

Okay, here are already well over 100. We can’t stop adding them.

Twidiot of the Day

Our Twidiot of the Day is @carbonoffsetnow.

“Tweeting is eco-friendly! Tweeting is fun and it’s nice to meet new people.”

Well, isn’t that special?

“Eating raw fruits and vegetables is a good way to go. No crops on the market today are genetically engineered to increase crop yield.”

But I’ll bet your bicycle has a bumper sticker about feeding the starving masses in Africa.

“It’s good karma to recipricate [sic] friendship! When we work together with the universe everyone is happy.”

Do you drink your Kool-Aid straight, or do you lace it with something psychedelic?

If you readers want to follow someone on Twitter with a little more grasp on reality, follow IHateTheMedia.

Joe Biden Twitter impersonator even funnier than Biden himself

"Twitter? I hardly know 'er," the Cheap Veep insisted.
"Twitter? I hardly know 'er," the Cheap Veep insisted.

@JoeyBiden is our favorite Twitter impersonator. He posts phony tweets supposedly written by the Vice President.

The guy is anonymous and hilarious. So are his followers. Their tweets are so incredibly stupid that you’ll quickly find yourself thinking, “Hey, maybe Biden did write this.”

Here are just a few examples:

  • from @hannahighpoint who will win American Idol? || That chinaman, William Hung
  • from @EconDog should we be worried about China messing with our $?|| Of course not.I’ll worry about China when they have more people than us
  • from @SnakeBucket What will we do if Iran gets nukes? || If that happens you guys are screwed. Im moving south to Canada
  • from @samishamieh If I could waterboard anyone who would it be?|| Easy. Jake Tapper. That guy better fall in line with the rest of them
  • from @DanCleary Boxers or briefs? || I go commando. Its the way Jill and Rahm like it
  • The dinner was ok last night. That guy Wanda kinda sucked.
  • Just left 7-11. There was a white person working the counter. I havent been this surprised since I found out Wanda Sykes was a woman
  • Just received a lovely email from the widow of a Nigerian prince. Its urgent and confidential so I am directing 85% of bailout $ to her
  • Just ran into Bob Costas & told him Im a big fan. He stormed away angrily. Was just told it was actually Rachel Maddow
  • I can sum up that burger in 3 letters- Delicious
  • Ok,Ive been reading the constitution for weeks & I still can’t find the part about the VP having to walk Bo the dog.I hope this isnt a joke
  • Huge split in the administration over who to appoint to the Supreme Court. My choice is a no brainer. Judge Reinhold
  • Just left a meeting. Obama said he was surprised Miss California didn’t finish in 57th place

Source: Twitter.com/JoeyBiden

Joe Biden banned from White House Twitter account

Joe Biden + Twitter = potential gaffes galore
Joe Biden + Twitter = potential gaffes galore

The White House announced that it now has a Twitter account. They picked up 7,000 followers in first four hours.

Here, as a public service, are the tweets they wouldn’t let Joe Biden make:

Swine flu is bad. Don’t let your kids ride trains. Make them ride in limos like mine do.

We need socialized medicine so everyone can get subsidized hairplugs.

Why didn’t that guy stand up when I asked him to?

The most important thing facing the middle class is a three letter word: J-O-B-S.

Barack Obama is a very clean black guy. Much cleaner than Clarence Thomas.

How come I wasn’t one of People magazine’s 100 Most Beautiful People? I’m better looking than Michelle.

I said Hillary Clinton was more qualified to be Vice President than I am. But what the hell, so is almost anyone.

My wife hates it when I toot. Do you think she’ll mind if I tweet?

If the British Prime Minister doesn’t want those 25 DVDs, I’ll take ‘em. That Jim Carrey cracks me up.

What’s wrong with bowing to the Saudi king? It’s not like Obama kissed his ass or anything.

We honestly don’t ask much of our government. But we pray that they let Joe Biden tweet.

Larry King vs Ashton Kutcher. Wake us up when it’s over.

Ditzy actor/producer/boytoy Ashton Kutcher is now competing with CNN for 1,000,000 followers on Twitter. It’s a death match.

“I find it astonishing that one person can actually have as big of a voice online as what an entire media company can on Twitter,” Kutcher said. “I just thought that was kind of an amazing comment on the state of our media.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcewDFh42Ps “Are you kidding,” asked CNN’s Larry King. “Do you think you can take on an entire network? Do you know how big we are? Do you know what CNN is? Kutcher, you’re playing out of your field. You’re in another time zone. This ain’t gonna work. CNN will bury you!”

Two thoughts:

First, who in their right mind would want to follow either of these boneheads? Second, can you remember a phonier, more obviously-rehearsed publicity stunt?

But what the hell. If it works, it works. We officially challenge NewsBusters.org to see which of us can be first to get 5,000 Twitter followers. Are you with us or against us? Hey, they’re ten times older and ten times bigger, but we hope our dedicated viewers will get behind us and push us over the top. Go IHateTheMedia.com.”

Source: WilshireAndWashington.com

Dallas Mavs owner Mark Cuban fined $25,000 by NBA for Twittering

Mark Cuban turns turns from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde while watching his Dallas Mavs play
Mark Cuban turns turns from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde while watching his Dallas Mavs play
Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, made a billion dollars in high technology. Now he’s slowly giving it all back thanks to high technology.

The NBA just tagged Cuban with a $25,000 fine for criticizing the refs after Denver’s controversial 103-101 win over Dallas. But the interesting thing is that this time he didn’t spout off to a TV station, he didn’t complain to a radio station, he didn’t bitch to a newspaper. Nope, this time Cuban used high technology to earn his fine – he Twittered his complaint.

What was the notoriously hot-headed Cuban’s bitch? He thought a Denver player should have been called for coming off the bench to taunt one of his Dallas players. In an earlier game between the two teams, Cuban was fined another $25,000 for complaining about the officiating.

The good news is that Cuban has so much money that he can laugh about these $25,000 fines. As he said in another Twitter post, “can’t say no one makes money from twitter now. the nba does.”

We think the NBA should reconsider. Cuban also owns the HDTV network, which makes him Dan Rather’s boss. Isn’t that punishment enough?

Source: Associated Press via StarTribune.com

Is Keith Olbermann a liar? Or paranoid? Or both?

Introducing the latest style from Keith Olbermann's new fashion line.
Introducing the latest style from Keith Olbermann's new fashion line.
Last week Keith Olbermann complained about a fake Twitter page and suggested that it was part of a nefarious plot by arranged by Fox News.

Oops. Media Bistro reports that the Olbermann Twitter page may have been run by MSNBC for “several months.” (In fact, the cable network admittedly operates a separate Olbermann Twitter site.)

“It turns out the account Olbermann may have been referring to @KeithOlbermann, which currently has 12,099 followers was set up by someone who was friendly enough to later give that account to MSNBC, which has had it for several months. But Olbermann wasn’t made aware of that not-so-minor detail, insiders tell us.”

“What’s bothering you this week,” his psychiatrist said. “Are you still having those bad dreams about Rupert Murdoch?”

Source: Media Bistro

“The Fix” is in. ABC News busted by Washington Post.

Is NBC still using this logo? They were the last time anyone actually watched the network.
Is NBC still using this logo? They were the last time anyone actually watched the network.
A couple weeks back, ABCNews.com started a daily web series featuring its correspondents and anchors. They called it “The Fix.”

Last week lawyers from The Washington Post said the newspaper owns the name “The Fix” and slapped a cease and desist order on the network. Turns out Post writer Chris Cillizza uses the title for his Twitter profile and it’s also the name of a blog he’s written for the Post several years.

ABC News gave up without a fight. They caved in like a house in a hurricane. They fought like the French.

According to WebNewser, ABCNews.com is trying now working on new names for its web series.

As MediaBistro asks, “So, what is driving The Washington Post to take this so seriously? And should ABC News give in? After all, ABC News and WaPo often partner on editorial projects most notably the ABC News/Washington Post poll.”

Fact is, the Post probably wouldn’t have bothered with a cease and desist had their title been stolen by NBC. Because no one ever would have seen it if it had been on NBC.

Source: MediaBistro

Keith Olbermann, the ultimate twit, hates Twitter

If you ever doubted that Keith Olbermann is insane, get over it. This is, perhaps, his most crazed “Worst Person In the World” segment ever.

Unbeknownst to Olbermann, someone opened a Twitter account in his name and now has 13,000 followers. Keith does not like this. He does not like it at all. So he blustered. His eyes bugged out. He twitched. He fell just short of foaming at the mouth. And then he named Twitter the Worst Person In the World.

And then, of course, he blamed Fox News.

Had they not run out of time, Olbermann would have continued blaming Fox for World War IX, kim chee, the Jonas Brothers, and his own sexual dysfunctions.

Economy in the sh*tter,
Obama gets advice from Twitter

Here’s the oddest news item of the day.

Evan Williams, CEO of Twitter, is winging his way to Washington, DC today. President Obama has asked him to sit on a panel of “young business leaders” charged with coming up with ideas to solve the economic crisis.

Even Williams understands how silly this is. As he put it in a Twitter message, “Going to the White House tomorrow for a meeting about the economy (which must mean they’re *really* out of ideas). What should I tell them?”

Don’t get us wrong. We love Twitter. We tweet all the time. It’s a great way to keep in touch with friends and like-thinkers. But a lot of people don’t and its economic model is…well…a mystery.

For example, Jon Stewart offered his take on Twitter during a recent “Old Man Stewart Shakes His Fist at …” segment. “I have no idea,” Steward said, “how it works or why it is.”

That being said, we fear Obama is asking Williams for advice because Twitter is built on the same economic model that led to Obama’s “stimulus” plan:

Both have millions of people dependent on them, both are growing at astronomical rates, and neither care how much money they lose.

Link: Daily Show on Twitter

McCain chooses Twitter to reveal Top 10 Porkiest Projects

McCain, a lifelong opponent of earmarks, released his list of the top ten porkiest projects in the Omnibus Spending bill the Congress is about to pass. Did he hold a press conference or release a statement to the press? No, instead, he went to the new media–but not Facebook or Youtube. He choose the new rising star in social media, Twitter. He merely made a tweet yesterday that began with “”Tmr I am gonna tweet the TOP TEN PORKIEST PROJECTS in the Omnibus Spending bill the Congress is about to pass”. And his 110,000 followers were instantly alerted, who in turn most likely passed it on to millions of their followers within minutes.

And today he released them. Here is John McCain’s Top 10 Porkiest Projects list:

#10. $1.7M “for a honey bee factory” in Weslaco, TX

#9. $475,000 to build a parking garage in Provo City, Utah

#8. $200,000 “tattoo removal violence outreach program to could help gang members or others shed visible signs of their past” REALLY?

#7. $300,000 for the Montana World Trade Center – enough said

#6. $1 million for mormon cricket control in Utah – is that the species of cricket or a game played by the brits?

#5. $650,000 for beaver management in North Carolina and Mississippi”

#4. $2.1 million for the Center for Grape Genetics in New York – quick peel me a grape.

#3. $332,000 for the design and construction of a school sidewalk in Franklin, Texas – not enough $ for schools in the stimulus?

#2. $2 million ‘for the promotion of astronomy’ in Hawaii – because nothing says new jobs for average Americans like investing in astronomy”

#1. $1.7 million for pig odor research in Iowa”

We’re sure the traditional media is aghast at not receiving a call first. Well, they all better sign up and start following the important people on Twitter. Like us at Twitter.com/ihatethemedia.

Source: John McCain’s Twitter page, of course

Follow our Academy Awards “commentary” on Twitter

We hate to watch the Academy Awards tonight. But we have to, it’s our job. We know many of you won’t be, but if you are following us our Twitter page we’ll let you know of all the idiotic things the self-absorbed actors and actresses have to say.

Ah look, Barbara Walters just got Mickey Rourke all teary-eyed. Her first to fall victim to her tonight.

Fox child porn producer’s twitter page

Aaron Bruns Twitter page photo, in Obama '08 chair
Aaron Bruns Twitter page photo, in Obama

The press has been reporting that Aaron Bruns was a Fox producer covering the Hillary Clinton campaign. But Bruns’ twitter page makes it clear he was covering Joe Biden.

The most surprising thing about the page is that Bruns’ tweets are so remarkably pedestrian. Mind-numbingly dull, in fact.

We’ve only been able to make them interesting by taking them completely out of context and making it appear that they have some salacious meaning, which they didn’t.

“Hey there! abruns is using Twitter.”

“CNN has icecream!”

“Biden said…”children are off limits.”

“this is beyond disappointing. This is beyond disappointing. This is wrong.”

“Beautiful Reno, NV, where every hotel room has too many mirrors”

“i’m getting hard. i’m a hard guy.”

“…wondering how Trojan condoms got a spot so close to the Pepsi Center… and what the hell is in their inflatable tent???”

Next time you can’t sleep, read Bruns’ twitter page. You will soon be sleeping in the sweet, sweet arms of Morpheus.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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