Based on that criteria, Joe Biden may be the next to go.
Source: FoxNews.com
Based on that criteria, Joe Biden may be the next to go.
Source: FoxNews.com
Tim Blair of the Sydney Daily Telegraph recently wrote this scathing attack on Sarah Palin. It needs to be read by every American voter. Please make sure you read all the way to the end to see the viscous, horrible thing Blair says about this speech.
Tim Blair of the Sydney Daily Telegraph recently wrote this scathing attack on Sarah Palin. It needs to be read by every American voter. Please make sure you read all the way to the end to see the viscous, horrible thing Blair says about this speech.
THE world trembled last year as a terrible prospect loomed: the next vice-president of the United States might be a complete moron…intelligent people everywhere were relieved when Palin’s White House bid failed. But what if John McCain and his dimwitted running mate had been elected? Right now we’d be listening to some of the most spectacularly stupid speeches ever made.
Speeches such as a commencement address at North Carolina’s Wake Forest University earlier this month, for example. Let’s imagine how Palin might have handled it…
“Thank you very much. I say to all the faculty, this will be painless. They have felt like – I suspect they’ve heard a hundred – all the commencements since the beginning of the school.”
The “they” to whom Palin refers is unclear. Is she saying that the faculty feels like an abundance of speeches?
“I had planned on driving my ‘67 Corvette up the middle of this area here. But the Secret Service said they wouldn’t let me do it.”
Such callous disregard for the environment would be typical of an ignorant woman who shoots moose and wants to drill Alaska for oil.
“Well, I love today and one of the reasons I do is because of all of you. I believe so strongly, as you may recall when I was here in October, not in you particularly but your generation…”
She doesn’t believe in the students?
“I don’t have a single doubt in my mind we’re on the cusp not only of a new century but a new day for this country and the world.”
It’s 2009. We’re eight entire years past the cusp.
“You’re about to graduate into a point in history where everything is going to change no matter what you do, but you can affect the change.”
That’s reassuring. The next generation are a bunch of change changers. Potentially, changed change means everything stays the same. Keep going, Mrs VP:
“Throughout the span of history though, only a handful of us have been alive at times when we can truly shape history. Without question, this is one of those times…”
And only a handful of people are alive. Just 6,800,000,000 or so – more than at any other time in history.
“We’re either going to revive and reverse climate change, or literally drown in our indifference.”
Why would anyone want to revive climate change? These are the words of a madwoman. Also, as for “literally drowning”, the campus at which we’re locating this speech is nearly 300m above sea level. Residents would be safe from drowning even if every bit of ice on earth was melted.
“Non-action is action, unlike most generations.”
How much ice is in that gin Palin’s drinking?
“There’s not a single issue on this President’s plate that will not yield a change – just merely by ignoring it, it will change.”
She’s really losing it. And remember, Palin is but a heartbeat away from the Presidency.
“Remember your physics class? You’re driving along in an automobile and you move the wheel slightly to the left or right, and you send the car careening in the direction that absent another change will end up a significant distance from where you were aimed.”
My car always goes exactly where I aim it. What kind of comedy opposite-steering clown cars do they drive in Alaska?
“When I graduated, all had not changed utterly yet. Today, it has. And in the last 12 to 15 years, a terrible beauty has been born. It’s a different world out there than it has been any time in the last millennia.”
Now she sounds like someone on an oxycontin bender. Some more details on this “terrible beauty” that was born in 1997 or 1994 would be helpful (Bruce Willis’s daughter Tallulah?), but crazy Sarah has already moved on.
“So embrace the moment. Don’t shy away from it. You know how I feel. I’m confident you must feel the same way.”
Hand over some of that oxycontin and you might be right.
“It is to not sustain – we know we cannot sustain the way we’re going now. So it’s time to steel our spines, and embrace the promise of change, even though we cannot guarantee exactly what that change will bring.”
More reassurance.
“In the past, it’s always been older generations, my generation speaking – standing up here at commencements telling the next generation the ways of the world … Well, graduate, I’ll have to admit, it’s a lot different today. You’ve flipped the script, as you might say. You’re, quite simply, teaching us.”
Someone has to. Did Dan Quayle ever deliver a speech that maintained this level of incoherence for so long?
“You are the possible. That is not hyperbole. You are the possible. We are the possible.”
It isn’t hyperbole. It also isn’t anything close to making sense. You’ve just been reading a speech delivered on May 18 by US vice President Joe Biden.
Damn, we love Tim Blair. You should read his blog every day like we do.
Source: Tim Blair/Sydney Daily Telegraph

When President Obama made his speech in Cairo last week, people noticed something new, something now, something oh-so-Obama.
We’re referring to the wispy, but stylish ‘stache gracing his upper lip. Admittedly, it wasn’t the manliest mustache and it would have been more at home on a 15-year old boy.
Nevertheless, a new wispy mustache craze is sweeping Washington, DC. Everyone wants one because everyone wants to be just like the Greatest President In History. The literati, the glitterati, the cognoscenti. What about you?
It won’t be long before you’re no one without one.
As you can see, the trend is spreading faster than Swine Flu and it’s a lot less deadly.
Joe Biden
Next time Joe Biden puts his foot in his mouth, it will just call attention to the brand new Obama on his upper lip.

John Edwards
John Edwards needed a new image. Who could resist voting for a guy sporting a suave ‘stache like this?
Continue reading “How long until you start following the latest Obama fashion trend?”

Joe Biden gushed about New York Governor David Patterson at a Democrat fundraiser on Tuesday.
“Your once and future governor of the state of New York has been extremely generous to Barack and me and has been a major part of us trying to put this economy back together.”
Everyone – and we mean everyone – interpreted the Veep’s words as a strong endorsement for the highly unpopular governor. However, Democrat New York state Attorney General Andrew Cuomo is handily ahead of Patterson in all the polls.
When Biden realized he’d backed a loser, he un-gushed. Why, much to everyone’s surprise, Biden said his words were not an endorsement.
“It was a statement of friendship and admiration for the governor,” his spokesman insisted, “and was not intended as a political statement.”
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs wanted nothing to do with the controversy.
“I have not seen the remarks,” he ducked. “But let me go see if I can find that and see what the context is.”
The context is simple: Joe Biden makes Dan Quayle look like Albert Einstein.
Source: New York Post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuGi2bMwODs Vice President Biden was speaking at the Air Force Academy graduation recently when the wind took out his teleprompter. Jokin’ Joe then makes a crack at his boss’ expense: “What am I gonna tell the president when I tell him his Teleprompter is broken? What will he do then?” Hilarity ensues.
Perhaps even funnier is when the Fox reporter then segues from “Plugs” Biden to a story about the gene that is linked to baldness, saying it could put the Hair Club for Men out of business.
Coincidence?

When President Obama hears about Joe Biden’s latest statement, you can bet the phone lines will burn up between Washington, DC and Kosovo.
That’s where Biden tossed his boss under the bus and this is how the Telegraph UK reported it:
It seems that all a reporter has to do to find out about the pickle Barack Obama’s is really in over his promise to close the Guantanamo Bay prison is to ask the veep…
So will Obama fulfill his vow – announced amid great fanfare in an executive order on day two of his presidency – to close the facility by January 2010? “I think so,” Biden responded, according to Newsweek’s Holly Bailey.
So perhaps he will. Or perhaps not. We’ll see.
Biden continued: “But, look, what the president said is that this is going to be hard. It’s like opening Pandora’s Box. We don’t know what’s inside the box.”
He also said that “to the best of my knowledge” the number of prisoners “who are a real danger who are not able to returned or tried” has “not been established” by the Obama administration.
So he basically just confirmed his predecessor Dick Cheney’s analysis that the decision was taken “with little deliberation, and no plan”.
So Biden says closing Gitmo is like opening Pandora’s box.
That’s either zen-like in its wisdom or just a really bad simile. We vote for the really bad simile.
Source: Telegraph UK

@JoeyBiden is our favorite Twitter impersonator. He posts phony tweets supposedly written by the Vice President.
The guy is anonymous and hilarious. So are his followers. Their tweets are so incredibly stupid that you’ll quickly find yourself thinking, “Hey, maybe Biden did write this.”
Here are just a few examples:
- from @hannahighpoint who will win American Idol? || That chinaman, William Hung
- from @EconDog should we be worried about China messing with our $?|| Of course not.I’ll worry about China when they have more people than us
- from @SnakeBucket What will we do if Iran gets nukes? || If that happens you guys are screwed. Im moving south to Canada
- from @samishamieh If I could waterboard anyone who would it be?|| Easy. Jake Tapper. That guy better fall in line with the rest of them
- from @DanCleary Boxers or briefs? || I go commando. Its the way Jill and Rahm like it
- The dinner was ok last night. That guy Wanda kinda sucked.
- Just left 7-11. There was a white person working the counter. I havent been this surprised since I found out Wanda Sykes was a woman
- Just received a lovely email from the widow of a Nigerian prince. Its urgent and confidential so I am directing 85% of bailout $ to her
- Just ran into Bob Costas & told him Im a big fan. He stormed away angrily. Was just told it was actually Rachel Maddow
- I can sum up that burger in 3 letters- Delicious
- Ok,Ive been reading the constitution for weeks & I still can’t find the part about the VP having to walk Bo the dog.I hope this isnt a joke
- Huge split in the administration over who to appoint to the Supreme Court. My choice is a no brainer. Judge Reinhold
- Just left a meeting. Obama said he was surprised Miss California didn’t finish in 57th place
Source: Twitter.com/JoeyBiden

Vice President Joe Biden has put his foot squarely in his mouth again, accidentally revealing classified information meant to protect sitting vice presidents. You know, sitting vice presidents like Joe Biden.
While filling in for President Obama at the Gridiron Club dinner in Washington, an Biden revealed the existence of a secret bunker under the historic U.S. Naval Observatory, which serves as the official residence of the vice president.
According to reporter Eleanor Clift, Biden “said a young naval officer giving him a tour of the residence showed him the hideaway, which is behind a massive steel door secured by an elaborate lock with a narrow connecting hallway lined with shelves filled with communications equipment.”
“The officer explained that when Cheney was in lock down,” Clift continued, “this was where his most trusted aides were stationed, an image that Biden conveyed in a way that suggested we shouldn’t be surprised that the policies that emerged were off the wall.”
Biden’s blabbery seems to confirm reports of a massive underground construction project that began at the Observatory back in 2002. Neighbors were told the work was “sensitive in nature” and “classified.”
Fact is, you wouldn’t have to waterboard Joe Biden to get him to reveal secret information. You’d just need to say hi.
Source: FoxNews

Honesty-challenged Vice President Joe Biden told rosy tales of an economic recovery on Wednesday. But even the liberal Assocated Press says the facts tell another story:
It is not disputed that Washington is spending historic amounts of money at a rate far faster than normal. Workers are getting tax breaks, Washington is picking up a greater share of state Medicaid costs and road construction projects are beginning.
Even Recovery.gov, the Web site that has yet to live up to its billing as a one-stop way to track every penny, offers more information than typical government programs, and faster.
But the effect of that spending is less clear. Many of the claims the White House is making are based on anecdotes selected to fit the Obama administration’s message. For instance, the report cites a newspaper article about workers being rehired at a factory in Chicago. That account is true, but is no more an accurate snapshot of the nation’s economy than a story, not cited in the report, about a Roanoke, Va., railcar factory closing.
Capturing the full effect of the stimulus at this early stage is difficult, but the administration has set high bars for success. In championing those successes, however, the White House plays a little loose with the facts.
You can see the specifics of the Associate Press fact check here.
Joe Biden playing a little loose with the facts? We are shocked that the Associated Press would make such a baseless accusation. Shocked, we tell you.
Source: Associated Press
Just to prove he’s a man of the people, President Obama took Joe Biden to a burger joint called Ray’s Hell Burgers yesterday. Unfortunately, the President wasn’t quite up to the task of acting ordinary.
Obama seemed lost. Didn’t know what to order. Didn’t know how to order. He did his best shuck and jive with the kid behind the counter, but was lost when it came to ordering.
Joe Biden, the Cheap Veep, quickly realized the lunch was a freebie, so he jumped right in front of Obama and ordered. “Swiss cheese burger, jalapeno peppers. Will you put ketchup on it or do we do that ourselves? And a root beer.”
When Obama finally ordered, he looked like he should have taken his teleprompter to lunch instead of Biden. “Alright…(PAUSE)…I’m gonna have a basic cheddar cheese burger…(PAUSE)…medium well…(PAUSE)…uh…(PAUSE)…I just want mustard. No ketchup…(PAUSE)…You got a spicy mustard or something like that? A Dijon mustard or something like that?”
Who the hell goes into a place called Ray’s Hell Burgers in a limousine and asks for Dijon mustard? It was very reminiscent of the intentionally elitist Grey Poupon commercials.
And guess what. When MSNBC and CNN showed tape of the President’s day at Ray’s Hell Burgers, they both snipped out the Dijon question. After all, neither network could allow the President’s elitist reality to conflict with his man-of-the-people image.
Here’s CNN’s version of the Elitist’s trip to Ray’s Hell Burgers. Hold the Dijon.
“Obama seems terribly uncomfortable hanging out with the little people. Maybe he should have invited his teleprompter instead of Joe Biden.
Source: GatewayPundit.com

The day after telling the Today Show he’s warned his family not to travel on public transportation because of the swine flu, Joe hitched a ride on Amtrak from Washington to Delaware.
Chagrinned Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano later said, “If he could say that over again, he would say if they’re feeling sick, they should stay off of public transit or confined spaces.”
And if President Obama could say it all over again, he’d probably say, “Anybody but Biden.”
Source: FoxNews.com

The White House announced that it now has a Twitter account. They picked up 7,000 followers in first four hours.
Here, as a public service, are the tweets they wouldn’t let Joe Biden make:
Swine flu is bad. Don’t let your kids ride trains. Make them ride in limos like mine do.
We need socialized medicine so everyone can get subsidized hairplugs.
Why didn’t that guy stand up when I asked him to?
The most important thing facing the middle class is a three letter word: J-O-B-S.
Barack Obama is a very clean black guy. Much cleaner than Clarence Thomas.
How come I wasn’t one of People magazine’s 100 Most Beautiful People? I’m better looking than Michelle.
I said Hillary Clinton was more qualified to be Vice President than I am. But what the hell, so is almost anyone.
My wife hates it when I toot. Do you think she’ll mind if I tweet?
If the British Prime Minister doesn’t want those 25 DVDs, I’ll take ‘em. That Jim Carrey cracks me up.
What’s wrong with bowing to the Saudi king? It’s not like Obama kissed his ass or anything.
We honestly don’t ask much of our government. But we pray that they let Joe Biden tweet.
Joe Biden stuck his piggies in his mouth this morning while discussing the swine flu on the Today Show.
“I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now. I would tell members of my family, and I have, I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now. It’s not that it’s going to Mexico, it’s you’re in a confined aircraft when one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation suggesting they ride the subway. If you’re out in the middle of a field and someone sneezes that’s one thing. If you’re in a closed aircraft or a closed container or closed car or closed classroom it’s a different thing.”
Of course, a couple hours later the Cheap Veep’s people issued a statement saying Biden didn’t mean what he said. That’s not surprising, since no one in this administration really means anything they say.
We strongly recommend that you follow Joe’s advice. Don’t do anything. Just sit at home in your underwear and surf the net all day. Just don’t go starting any smartass blogs. We don’t want the competition.
Source: NBC News
A couple weeks ago Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Director of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano both announced that we weren’t going to call it the Global War On Terror anymore. (Apparently, such mean talk hurts the feelings of those sensitive lads in al-Qaeda and the Taliban and Hamas.)
Well, poor Joe Biden never got the memo.
CNN’s Wolf Blitzer asked him to explain it. In his best befuddled Joe Biden way, the veep hemmed and hawed and yammered and stammered and answered every question except the one Wolf asked him.
The clip gets cut off before the end of the interview, but we at some point Joe must have looked at his watch and said, “Oh, my, look how late it is. Love to stay. Gotta go. Say hi to the wife and kids.”
Wolf may still be sitting in the studio asking the same question to Biden’s empty chair.
Source: HotAir.com

Joe Biden showed up in North Carolina Wednesday to tell folks that the “stimulus” money isn’t reserved for Wall Street and car companies. No way, Joe assured them.
While appearing at an outdated fire station in Pikeville, NC, Biden promised billions for home loans and community projects like a new fire station for the good Pikevillians.
“We’re investing in places like this all across the country,” Biden bragged, “to demonstrate the vital role towns like this play in the recovery.”
Uh-oh. Fact check on register three, Joe.
The bulk of the money for the new fire station was secured last year. You know, last year when George Bush was president.
State Sen. David Rouzer, Pikeville’s Republican congressman said he helped nail down the construction funds out of last year’s regular federal budget.
“They’re coming in and cherry picking the best projects and switching out the money, saying it’s stimulus money,” Rouzer observed. “But it was already approved and in the pipeline. It’s totally disingenuous to come down here and say this is stimulus money, when regardless of whether a stimulus bill passed, they were getting the money.”
In other news, Biden announced that the Golden Gate Bridge, Hoover Dam and the 1939 New York World’s Fair would also be built with stimulus money.
Source: McClatchy
No matter what the American press keeps telling us, the foreign press is growing less enchanted with Camelot every day. Especially the British press. And even more especially the Telegraph.
This administration is setting a torrid pace for screw-ups and misstatements and just plain dumb comments. It’s only been 60 days. Of course, we expected that when we got Joe Biden, but no one expected the greatest orator in history to foul up so often.
The Telegraph has compiled a list of the Top 10 gaffes by Obama and Biden.
Far as we can tell, the tough part must have been limiting the list to ten.
Above is the Telegraph’s choice as Number 10. To see the rest of the list, click here. Prepare to laugh.
You never know what’s going to come out of Joe Biden’s mouth. But we’ll bet you didn’t expect this.
Biden was at Union Station yesterday, bragging up Obama’s $1.3 billion “investment” in train stations and rail lines. The error-prone vice president was apparently unaware of a near-by microphone. When one of his former Senate colleagues called him “Mr. Vice President,” Biden replied with what is reportedly one of his favorite phrases:
[audio:https://www.ihatethemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/biden_give_me_a_fucking_break.mp3]“Gimme a f*&$#ing break.”
Remember back in 2004 when Dick Cheney looked Senator Patrick Leahy straight in the eye and said, “Go f#$% yourself?” The libs got all weak in the knees, broke out in cold sweats, and swore they were absolutely horrified that Cheney had violated their virgin ears with such vile language.
Our reaction at the time? “Gimme a f*&$#ing break.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PcXTUH9Kb0Whew, what a relief! A whopping 95% of the Taliban we are fighting in Afghanistan are not “incorrigible.” In an update to our story Tuesday, Obama may reach out to “moderate” Taliban, we have a clip of Joe Biden clarifiying what Obama meant by “moderate Taliban.” We think his boss is, once again, not thanking ol’ Joe for his help.

The press trumpets President Obama’s Middle Class Task Force. But they never mention that it’s made up of highly-paid Veep Joe Biden and seven other White House elitists.
Maybe it should be renamed “President Obama’s Vision of What the Middle Class Looks Like Task Force.” Because no one who’s actually a member of the middle class is a member of the Middle Class Task Force.
Middle class is generally defined as anyone earning between $30,000 and $100,000 a year. Yet every member of the Task Force makes at least $150,000, putting them in the top 5% of American wage earners.
For example, Vice President Biden makes $227,000 per year. Council of Economic Advisors chair Christina Romer pulls down $172,000. And Energy Secretary Steven Chu takes home $191,000. And that’s just from their government gigs. Who knows how much they make from other sources.
In order to research the problems of the middle class, perhaps Task Force members can roll down the privacy windows in their limos and speak to their drivers. That’s about as close to middle class as these guys are likely to get.
Source: Yahoo News

We’re thinking of making this a daily feature. Because Blunderin’ Joe Biden provides plenty of material.
“What I don’t understand from Governor Jindal is what would he do,” Biden said on the CBS Early Show. “In Louisiana there’s 400 people a day losing their jobs. What’s he doing?”
Then Joe’s fantasy ran smack dab into reality when Shreveport, Louisiana-based KSLA-TV investigated the real situation.
“In December, Louisiana was the only state in the nation besides the District of Columbia — according to the national press release — that added employment over the month,” they reported. “The state gained 3,700 jobs for the seasonally adjusted employment.”
The source of Biden’s information is often mysterious, but it doesn’t match stats from the labor department. At 5.9%, Louisiana’s unemployment rate is far lower than the national average of 7.2%.
Who writes this guy’s material? He’s hilarious.
Source: KSLA News 12 Shreveport Louisiana
Direct link to KSLA’s investigative report video here
As CBS introduced coverage of President Obama’s first address to Congress, CBS’ Katie Couric, overwhelmed with the excitement of “a little diversity” pointed out female Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and then noted that Vice President Joe Biden was “the white guy.”
Now hold on a cotton picking minute, Katie! We thought that after electing Barack Obama president, we had entered into a post-racial society. We thought pointing out a person’s color was a thing of the past. But, sadly, it looks like the “white guy” is still someone to be pointed at.
Incidentally, just before the Giveaway To America speech began, “Don’t Mess With Joe” Biden leaned over and whispered to Pelosi. An IHTM staff member well-versed in lip reading claims she caught Biden saying, “Did you hear that Bobby Jindal is on after Barack? Make’s me hungry. How about we run down to 7-Eleven or Dunkin Donuts after this?”
It was either that or something completely different. We’re not quite sure.
Via: EvilConservativeOnline
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71pTSTwSzK0Ahhhh, Joe Biden. Once again he’s proven that he is the comedy writer’s best friend.
This morning he went on the CBS Early Show to hype Obama’s “stimulus” program and the new government website that lets us track how our money is being spent (or China’s money, as the case may be).
Unfortunately for poor ol’ Joe, he had to admit he didn’t know what the website is. In fact, he didn’t appear to know what the internet is.
“You know, I’m embarrassed,” a flustered Biden admitted. (Looking for help off camera) “Do you know the website number? I should have it in front of me and I don’t. I’m actually embarrassed. (after receiving the information from off camera) Excuse me. It’s recovery.gov. Recovery.gov.”
What’s the website number? We just called information. It’s 1-800-BONEHEAD.
The only way Joe Biden can go a day without saying something really stupid is to stuff a sock in his mouth as soon as he wakes up in the morning. And that might not even solve his problem.
The verbally-challenged Biden thanked Democrats in the House of Representatives for passing the President’s $819 billion “stimulus” bill.
“In these uncharted waters,” the MixMaster of Metaphors said, “you stepped up in a big way.”
Then he startled damn near everyone in the room by continuing to talk about the bloated bill and saying there’s a “30 percent chance we’ll get it wrong.”
We just checked with our favorite Las Vegas bookie. He says there’s a 90% chance Obama will beat the living putty out of Biden before the 2010 midterm elections.
They say Barack Obama inspired millions around the world. But the inspiration doesn’t stop there. No siree, bob.
“Obama on My Mind,” an Obama-inspired musical, opens at in London in March. Teddy Hayes, a U.S.-born writer, wrote the music and lyrics.
The “humorous romp” takes place in an Obama campaign office, complete with songs that mix pop, gospel, jazz, Motown, and even tango.
Luckily, the producers don’t have to find a singing Commander In Chief look-alike, because the Obama character never appears onstage. “Nobody can really impersonate Obama, can they?” Hayes quipped. “He’s a one-off.”
Our toes are tappin’ already. Oh, wait, that’s just the nervous tic we developed since we heard the details of the “stimulus” plan.