Author: editor

Clinton invades Biden’s turf, screws up twice in one day

Poor Joe Biden. Just when the verbally-challenged vice president thought he had secured his position as the administration’s buffoon-in-chief, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has called his bluff.

Clinton gave Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov a present today that was meant to symbolize President Obama’s promise to “press the reset button” on Russo-American relations.

When Lavrov unwrapped the gift, he found a big, red push button imprinted with a Russian word “peregruzka.”

“We worked hard to get the right Russian word,” Clinton joked. “Do you think we got it?”



“You got it wrong,” Lavrov said. He told Clinton the word on the button actually meant “overcharge.” 



Hilarity ensued. Clinton cackled her phoniest demonic laugh and Lavrov laughed the rich, full laugh of a used car dealer about to unload a lemon at full retail.

“Damn it,” Hillary thought to herself, “I wonder how you say ‘$%#& Obama’ in Russian.”

Oprah gives up impartial pretense, puts Michelle Obama on cover of “O”

First first lady is the first person ever to be deemed worthy to share the cover with Oprah.
Oprah has hands together, thanking God for guiding her to make the First Lady the first person to ever share the cover of O with her.

Oprah Winfrey, the same host who wouldn’t allow Sarah Palin on her TV show, has now put Michelle Obama’s merry mug on the cover of her monthly magazine.

This is the first time in the magazine’s nine year history that the camera hogging host has allowed anyone to share her cover. But, c’mon, this is Michelle Obama we’re talking about.

The cover, Winfrey said, makes a statement. “Say what you will about books — people do judge a magazine by its cover, which is why it’s important to me keep the cover of this one looking fresh,” she cooed. “And right now nothing — and I mean nothing — is fresher than the family that moved into the White House in January, sparking a national spirit of renewal the likes of which I’ve never seen.”

We think Oprah was misquoted. We think she actually said, “…sparking a national renewal of spending the likes of which I’ve never seen.”

This is the type of story that led to the birth of IHateTheMedia.com. It combines politics, print and television all rolled together in one pretty, prejudiced little package.

Source: Sun Times

Democrats threaten future of Christian radio

If the democrats have their way, the ACLU could go after Christain radio shows such as this one.
If the democrats have their way, the ACLU could go after Christain radio shows such as this one.

Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe, the most rational man in Washington, DC has given an impassioned speech on the floor of the Senate in defense of Christian radio.

“In a straight party-line vote, Democrats chose to adopt Senator Durbin’s Amendment 591, which calls on the FCC to quote, ‘encourage and promote diversity in communication media ownership…and to ensure that broadcast station licenses are used in the public interest.’ That’s a quote and essentially it makes an end-run around the Fairness Doctrine.”

“The ACLU and other liberal organizations could attempt to file lawsuits against anyone who presents a message that they deem to be counter to federal localism and diversity regulations,” Inhofe continued. “…the chilling effect that the mere threat of a lawsuit will have on religious broadcasters could be substantial.”

“This legislation is so incredibly vague and so potentially far-reaching that I can’t say with any certainty what the end result will be,” Inhofe said. “This is not good governance and it is not good legislative practice to cede such authority to any agency of our government, specifically when the right to speak freely over the airwaves will most certainly be impacted.”

We don’t think the Democrats really want to outlaw religious broadcasters. We suspect they’d be satisfied if they could merely outlaw about seven of the Ten Commandments, pass legislation that Reverend Wright be given equal time on all current religious broadcasts, and have Obama’s inauguration officially designated as the Second Coming.

Is that too much to ask?

Link: Entire speech by James Inhofe at The Hill

Hillary makes mistakes, Reuters makes excuses

Hillary Clinton
The media searches for Republican gaffes, but searches for excuses for Hillary's gaffes.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton got off to a rocky start in Europe yesterday when she mispronounced the names of her European counterparts and then followed that up by re-writing history.

But never fear. Reuters excused the accident prone Secretary of State’s gaffes with these two paragraphs:

“Clinton has set herself a grueling pace on visits to Egypt, Israel and Brussels soon after touring the Far East, attending dozens of meetings and giving speech after speech, with little time worked into her schedule for sleep.”

“Tiredness appeared to show Friday when she answered questions in front of 500 young Europeans at the European Parliament…”

Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State and Secretary of Misstatement.

Source: Reuters

Alec Baldwin calls Rush Limbaugh “uneducated, marginally talented, overbearing”

Alec Baldwin
Former leading man Alec Baldwin stopped berating his teenage daughter long enough to berate Rush Limbaugh. Photo: Wikipedia

When Alec Baldwin’s leading man career went down the tubes, he turned to television comedy with some success. Now he’s turned to writing political satire. At least we think it was satire.

How else can you explain the article Baldwin wrote the Huffington Post titled, “Hoping the GOP Gets Its Act Together” in which he says, “Rush Limbaugh is an uneducated, marginally talented, overbearing, recovering drug addict who was, at least according to Wikipedia, ineligible for the draft because he had cysts on his ass.”

This from a man with anger control issues who has been accused of physically abusing his wife and psychologically abusing his teenage daughter.

But those accusations pale in comparison to the most damning fact about Alec Baldwin: He appeared in 39 episodes of Knott’s Landing and isn’t ashamed to say so.

Note: Make sure you read the entire article for more insight into Republicans, like what he says about “hypocritical evangelicals who are too lazy to raise their own children properly…”

Source: Huffington Post

Bob Hope nominated to head Democratic National Committee?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWpU8sX10_4 width=300 height=188Does anyone know who the chairman of the Democratic National Committee is? We wracked our brains and can’t remember. Apparently, the person is so forgettable that his or her identity has just plain slipped the minds of a lot of people.

So we admit we don’t know if the job is currently open, but in case it is we would like to nominate Bob Hope to fill the position. Sure, the comedian’s been dead for six years, but that shouldn’t keep him from doing a better job than whoever’s doing it now.

Want proof? Based on the attached video, it seems as if Hope had a thorough understanding of loyal party members gained by keenly observing the faithful at an Obama rally.

We feel pretty confident saying this in advance:

Congratulations, Chairman Hope.

CNN calls Limbaugh speech “angry, mocking, bullying, harsh, and full of contempt.” Yeah, but did they like it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rDncw6uQ_I width=300 height=188CNN political analyst Bill Schneider had a conniption fit over Rush Limbaugh’s CPAC speech last weekend.

In fact, we’re pretty sure we saw a little spittle forming at the corners of his mouth at the mere thought of Limbaugh.

“Well, this was a very angry speech,” Schneider seethed. “… The tone of this speech was mocking, bullying, it was full of contempt, and I thought it was a very harsh speech. One that while it rallied the conservative audience, also angered a lot of Democrats and people who aren’t particularly partisan just by the tone of it.”

Based on our keen powers of observation, we think this is what professional psychologists call “projecting.” And what amateur psychologists call “the pot calling the kettle black.” And what IHateTheMedia.com calls “Tough luck, Bill.”

Formerly significant Tina Brown calls currently significant Limbaugh a “blow-hard bullfrog”

Formerly significant former Vanity Fair and New Yorker editor Tina Brown appeared on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” program last week and worried that a new liberal TV commercial attacking Rush Limbaugh will backfire.

“The only thing I do regret, though, is that this giant, you know, blow-hard bullfrog, you know, Rush Limbaugh is being turned into this big icon,” Brown whined.

A liberal group that calls itself “Americans United for Change” produced this spot, which paints Republicans as “a party of no” and includes Limbaugh’s comment that he wants Obama’s policies to fail.

“Jeremiah was a bullfrog,” Brown might have said, “he was a good friend of mine. And Rush Limbaugh’s no Jeremiah.”

And that, my friends, is what happens when Tina Brown has too many banana daiquiris and simultaneously channels Lloyd Bentsen and Three Dog Night.

Source: Scott Whitlock at NewsBusters

Roseanne attacks Israel, makes claims even Hamas couldn’t make with a straight face

Photo: Rosanne's World
Photo: Rosanne's World

Just as we were starting to think we’d never find anyone crazier than Hamas, along comes Roseanne Barr. The former star and current lunatic claims Israel is firing those rockets at itself.

This comes direct from her website, Roseanne World.

ohlmert you lie:

you say that twelve rockets were fired into israel since the end of the “war” (ethnic cleansing). Not one Israeli was hurt or killed by these rockets, and now you say you are going to go back and kill more palestinians to teach them a lesson!!!

“I think rockets are being fired by your own sources, since less than ten israelis have been killed by them. You are bullshitting the world as you pocket money made from arms sales, along with bibi and your agents in Hamas. step down all men in power!

Please note that all incorrect punctuation and lack of capitalization comes courtesy of the lovely and gracious Miss Barr.

Our thanks to the good folks at Gateway Pundit for this absolutely bizarre story.

Economy in the sh*tter,
Obama gets advice from Twitter

Here’s the oddest news item of the day.

Evan Williams, CEO of Twitter, is winging his way to Washington, DC today. President Obama has asked him to sit on a panel of “young business leaders” charged with coming up with ideas to solve the economic crisis.

Even Williams understands how silly this is. As he put it in a Twitter message, “Going to the White House tomorrow for a meeting about the economy (which must mean they’re *really* out of ideas). What should I tell them?”

Don’t get us wrong. We love Twitter. We tweet all the time. It’s a great way to keep in touch with friends and like-thinkers. But a lot of people don’t and its economic model is…well…a mystery.

For example, Jon Stewart offered his take on Twitter during a recent “Old Man Stewart Shakes His Fist at …” segment. “I have no idea,” Steward said, “how it works or why it is.”

That being said, we fear Obama is asking Williams for advice because Twitter is built on the same economic model that led to Obama’s “stimulus” plan:

Both have millions of people dependent on them, both are growing at astronomical rates, and neither care how much money they lose.

Link: Daily Show on Twitter

WSJ article says “Obama’s Radicalism Is Killing the Dow”

dow after obama chart to 03-05-09

Note to White House: don’t let the president see today’s issue of the Wall Street Journal.

Tell him the dog chewed it up. Tell him the delivery boy threw it on the roof. Tell him they’re still drying it out because it got rained on. Come up with any excuse you want, but don’t let him see the paper.

“It’s hard,” Stanford economics professor Michael J. Boskin said, “not to see the continued sell-off on Wall Street and the growing fear on Main Street as a product, at least in part, of the realization that our new president’s policies are designed to radically re-engineer the market-based U.S. economy, not just mitigate the recession and financial crisis.

“The illusion that Barack Obama will lead from the economic center,” the article continued, “has quickly come to an end. Instead of combining the best policies of past Democratic presidents — John Kennedy on taxes, Bill Clinton on welfare reform and a balanced budget, for instance — President Obama is returning to Jimmy Carter’s higher taxes and Mr. Clinton’s draconian defense drawdown.”

Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. One who lusted in his heart. One who lusted in the Oval Office. And one who lusted to destroy capitalism.

Link: Wall Street Journal

British newspaper rips Obama again, compares him to “flawed” LBJ

<b>President Obama was excited when he heard he was going to meet the queen, disappointed when he found out it wasn't Elton John.</b>
President Obama was excited when he heard he was going to meet the queen, disappointed when he found out it wasn't Elton John.

Looks like newspapers on the other side of the Atlantic didn’t get that “laudatory coverage only” memo from the White House. The President and everyone around him have been sliced and diced by The Telegraph this week.

The paper’s latest article starts off by reviewing all the president’s gaffes – his poorly thought out choice of gifts, his insulting return of the Churchill bust, his hastily-prepared joint press conference with Gordon Brown. Then things got really nasty:

“Something, suddenly, seems to have made the Obama White House perk up and start to take an interest in the Brits. The Queen has invited the President to tea when he’s here for the G20 in April. And he’s in through the front door of Buckingham Palace faster than a Harley Davidson roaring along Route 66.”

“Note how the coolness of Team Obama disappears when a bit of regal glamour is introduced into the equation. He might not like the Brits, but he can recognise a global superstar when he encounters one. He wants to be associated with her. He’s shameless.”

“If Obama, or someone in his inner circle, had spent two minutes thinking about what present to get Brown then they could easily have come up with something appropriate. He likes books. He loves American history. Get him a signed first edition of a good Robert Dallek book such as the brilliant Flawed Giant on LBJ. Come to think of it, Obama should read it too, if he hasn’t yet, as it reveals a great deal about how a Presidency can go so wrong.”

We’re surprised Obama didn’t schedule tea and crumpets with Prince Charles since they have so much in common:

They both have two kids. Both believe in global warming, yet whip around the world in private jets. And both have domineering wives who make them jump through hoops like trained chihuahuas.

Link: Telegraph

Obama gives lousy gift, pisses off British Prime Minister

<b>President Obama made Prime Minister Brown an offer he could easily refuse.</b>
President Obama made Prime Minister Brown an offer he could easily refuse.

British Prime Minister Brown wanted to make a good first impression in his first meeting with President Obama. So he gave him an ornamental penholder hand-carved from the timbers of a Victorian anti-slave ship once called the HMS President.

President Obama reciprocated by giving Brown a handful of DVDs. Seriously. President Obama gave the prime minister of our closest ally, a nation that reveres the “special relationship” between our two countries, a bunch of DVDs.

In Obama’s defense, they were all classic American films. And they came in a special boxed set. And Michelle was probably up half the night making sure the ribbon looked real pretty. Unfortunately, it turns out Brown isn’t much of a film fan.

Britain’s Daily Mail reports that Brown could have gone to the Blockbuster store down the road from 10 Downing Street and picked up the same DVDs for about $352 (plus tax).

As they say in Hollywood, “Take two.”

And as we say at IHateTheMedia.com, “Aw, crap.”

Link: Daily Mail

Angry British journalist labels Michelle Obama “Lady MacBeth”

michelle obama British journalist James Delingpole, a columnist for the Telegraph, is angry about the state of Anglo-American relations. And he lays the blame right square at the designer shod feet of Michelle Obama.

“I was asked for my reaction as a true born Englishman to President Obama’s double insult – first the sending back of the Winston Churchill bust, then his snub to Gordon Brown.”

“Britain’s friendship,” Delingpole continued, “is something Obama will come to regret having dispensed with so lightly. This was not the act of a global statesman, but of a hormonal teenager dismissing her bestest of best BFs for no other reason than that she felt like it and she can, so there.”

“Obama’s judgment,” he concluded, “is pretty dreadful – but this? My favourite theory…was that it was a move calculated to please his Lady Macbeth. At the moment in Britain, we’re still in the “Doesn’t she look fabulous in a designer frock” stage of understanding of Michelle Obama. Gradually, though, we’ll begin to realise that she is every bit the terrifying executive’s wife that Hillary Clinton was. Or, shudder, Cherie Blair.”

We can just imagine the White House response:

“Frock? Michelle’s dress is not a frock. It’s a $10,000 Jason Woo original.”

Link: Delingpole’s Telegragh article

Tide turning? ABC News nails Obama for healthcare lie

Monica Millay
Photo: Monica Millay

ABC News broke out its thesaurus today in an attempt to say something other than President Obama lied. It appears that after much debate, they decided on the word “mischaracterization.”

“President Obama’s kicking off his health care reform today in the worst possible way: with a mischaracterization of data.”

“’The cost of health care now causes a bankruptcy in America every thirty seconds,’ Obama said at the opening of his White House forum on health care reform. The problem: that claim, based on a 2001 survey, is simply unsupportable.”

According to ABC, Obama’s statistic is the result of an incorrect extrapolation made from a 2005 study. They said the original study called out medical expenses as “a” reason for bankruptcy, not “the” reason. ABC also noted that the study used an extremely broad definition of “medical expenses,” including gambling problems and death of a family member.

Thanks, President Obama. Based on your theory, we’re thinking of introducing a new health plan for all the employees here at IHateTheMedia.com. Benefits will include Jack in the Box tacos and beer and Thursday night poker.

Link: ABC News

Michael Jackson announces ten new concerts and one new nose

Nutty former “King of Pop” and one-time black man Michael Jackson announced today that he will perform ten concerts London this summer.

“These will be my final shows performing in London. ‘This is it’ really means this is it,” Jackson stammered. “I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear. I’ll see you in July and I love you so much.”

In an effort to be taken seriously, Jackson made his announcement while sporting oversized sunglasses and a sparkly, embroidered military-ish jacket. He also appeared to be sporting a new, even pointier and more upturned nose.

As a sad note to the proceedings, it was revealed that Jackson’s former nose is now penniless and living on welfare somewhere in South Central Los Angeles.

Tonya Harding attacks Barack Obama

First Barack Obama defeated Hillary Clinton. Then he whipped John McCain. But now he may have met his match.

Tonya Harding is mad at the president. Plenty mad. And we’d rather face a rabid pit bull than that angry little she-devil.

During a campaign stop last summer, Obama ad libbed something about “pulling a Tonya Harding” on his opponents. Tonya heard about it. Tonya didn’t like it. Tonya is pissed.

No word yet on Obama’s reaction, but we can guess what Bill Clinton would say.

“Back off, Barack. I already called dibs on trailer park trash.”

Brit Reporters say Obama doesn’t know difference between England and Uruguay

Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Godron BrownBritish reporters are not happy. Not happy at all. They expected a full press conference after Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s first visit to the Obama White House, but didn’t get one.

“Though there was never any announcement on this side of the Atlantic that there would be a full-blown joint news conference today when British Prime Minister Gordon Brown stops by to meet with President Obama,” USA Today’s The Oval blog reported, “some British journalists are rather cranky this morning about the fact that there won’t be one. Some who flew over with Brown last night thought there would be an Obama-Brown newser, and were surprised to hear when they arrived that there wouldn’t. They see it as a snub.”

“Mr Brown might lament,” The Telegraph said, “that despite the so-called ‘special relationship’ Britain is now getting the same treatment as the president of Uruguay but he need not despair. I’m told there’s a chance he might get drinks with Vice President Joe Biden on Tuesday evening.”

That may be true, but imagine the hysterically funny stories Brown will be able to tell in Parliament on Wednesday morning.

Source: Newsmax

Same rapper who hates Bush thinks O.J. Simpson is “amazing”

Here’s a deep philosophical question for you to consider: Is it possible to be a rap artist without being a complete idiot?

Kanye West, the simple-minded rapper who’s most famous for saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” has offered up a few more brilliant observations. While taping a program for VH1, West recently expressed opinions on a wide range of people he apparently likes better than Bush.

“Can’t we give Chris a break,” he said about girlfriend-beating singer Chris Brown, “…I know I make mistakes in life.”

“Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing…He’s a real f%#in’ person. He makes mistakes,” he said in reference to the Olympic swimmer’s recent bong problem.

“O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing, though?”

Can’t wait to hear Michael Phelps’ reaction to being lumped together with a wife killer, a girlfriend beater, and a child molester.

Source: Reuters

Matt Lauer slapped around by combative guest

Sarah Palin documentarian John Ziegler stopped by the Today Show last week just long enough to figuratively whack Matt Lauer up the side of the head.

In the mental equivalent of a wrestling “Death Match,” Ziegler pinned the host to the mat in record time. Lauer was forced to admit that the portrait the media had painted of the Alaska governor as an “idiot” was “a lie.”

“I don’t think that everybody in the media ran out saying, ‘Sarah Palin is an idiot,’” Lauer protested. ”Nevertheless, Ziegler eventually wheedled a confession out of Lauer and promote his new film ‘Media Malpractice.'”

“Wait a minute,” Ziegler answered, “I urge people and I urge you, Matt, because you’ve been up to Wasilla. You know Sarah Palin. You know that this is a lie that she’s some sort of an idiot or a moron.”

Lauer resisted, but eventually submitted and admitted that the portrait the media painted of Palin didn’t exactly match reality.

Now we want to see Ziegler take the same approach and grill Lauer about news nymphet and former Today Show host Katie Couric.

We suspect he would be much quicker to agree that she’s an idiot.

McCain rips everyone on earmarks — Obama, Democrats and Republicans

During the presidential campaign, the compliant liberal press believed every word Barack Obama said. Or at least they pretended they did. They assured us that when their man was elected president, he would do as he promised by eliminating earmarks and emasculating lobbyists.

Oops. Turns out there are 9,000-some earmarks in the “stimulus” bill. And lobbyists go to see the document before members of the House and Senate did.

John McCain doesn’t like it and went ballistic on the floor of the senate yesterday. “If it sounds like I’m angry,” he roared, “it’s because I am.”

His anti-earmark oratory was the kind of speech that’s rarely heard in the Senate. McCain hurled invective at President Obama, Democrats and Republicans and he used words that are equally rare in the Washington, DC gentlemen’s club known as the U.S. Senate.

“I just went through a campaign, Mr. President, where both candidates promised change in Washington, promised change from the wasteful, disgraceful, corrupting practice of earmark, pork-barrel spending,” McCain seethed. “So what are we doing here? Not only business as usual, but an outrageous insult to the American people.”

If the Arizona Republican had shown this kind of fire on the campaign trail, he might be president today.

Watch the entire five-minute video. For once, John McCain seems a lot more like “Mr. Smith goes to Washington” and a lot less like Captain Queeg.

NY Times writer admits “Barack Obama is not who we thought he was”

shockedQuick. Break out the smelling salts. We’re feeling a little weak in the knees. The New York Times has admitted that Barack Obama isn’t who they thought he was.

“But the Obama budget is more than just the sum of its parts. There is, entailed in it, a promiscuous unwillingness to set priorities and accept trade-offs. There is evidence of a party swept up in its own revolutionary fervor — caught up in the self-flattering belief that history has called upon it to solve all problems at once.”

“Those of us who consider ourselves moderates — moderate-conservative, in my case — are forced to confront the reality that Barack Obama is not who we thought he was. His words are responsible; his character is inspiring. But his actions betray a transformational liberalism that should put every centrist on notice.”

The following translation provided as a public service by IHateTheMedia.com:

The New York Times said, “Obama’s not who we thought he was.”

The New York Times meant, “We thought he was going to be Lincoln, but he turns out to be Lenin.”

Source: New York Times

Hard to believe, but two more Obama nominees are in trouble.

We would say “Would the last honest Democrat please turn out the lights,” but we fear the eternally-burning bulbs would impact global warming.

Ron Kirk, the president’s nominee for U.S. trade representative, has agreed to pay $10,000 in back taxes. Kirk played a little fast and loose with past speaking fees, took an improper deduction for the cost of his Dallas Mavericks season tickets, and claimed exorbitant charitable deductions.

Adolfo Carrion, the president’s nominee for ‘Urban Czar’ is also in hot water. He’s accused of receiving kickbacks from developers whose projects he approved while serving as Bronx Borough President.

An Obama administration official has assured concerned lawmakers that all the issues are minor and will soon be covered cleared up.

Source: Newsmax

Letterman lambastes Limbaugh, Couric cackles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kop_8D89ojwCrotchety, caustic David Letterman had CBS News anchor Katie Couric howling with laughter when he called Rush Limbaugh a “bonehead.” The late night loser then said Limbaugh looked like an “East European gangster.”

Couric joined the in the fun and delivered this rib tickler, “So much for my interview with Rush.”

Can someone tell us why either of these two are still paid millions of dollars a year?

Letterman was once unpredictable and inventive, but those days are long gone. Couric was once…well…we don’t really remember what her claim to fame was.

It’s sad to see what happens to people when they lose in the ratings year after year after year.

Schwarzenegger proves he’s all wet with drought declaration

<b>Girlyman (r) and Manlygirl (l)</b>
Manlygirl (l) and Girlyman (r)

Two-faced California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger declared a state of emergency Friday, urging urban water systems to cut usage by 20%.

“This drought is having a devastating impact on our people, our communities, our economy and our environment, making today’s action absolutely necessary,” the so-called Republican governor said.

According to Brietbart.com, “The drought has forced farmers to fallow their fields, put thousands of agricultural workers out of work and led to conservation measures in cities throughout the state, which is the nation’s top agricultural producer.”

In related news, California is increasing taxes and spending $8 billion more this fiscal year than last, despite the fact that the state is virtually bankrupt and the its budget deficit is nearing $42 billion.

We’re turning on all the taps, because based on that same twisted logic, the only way to solve the drought is for everyone to use more water.

Morons.

Source: Breitbart

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