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Sean Penn co-star puts the actor on mute

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Don’t invite Sean Penn and actress Maria Conchita Alonso to the same party. Especially if it’s the Community Party.

The actress rolled her eyes and groaned when she was asked about her former co-star. Then she really unloaded.

“It’s just that he has no clue at all what’s going on in Venezuela, praising Hugo Chavez who’s a dictator and a killer…” said Alonso, who was born in Cuba and raised in Venezuela. “I tried to put aside his being an amazing actor and his political views. He has no clue and he should just shut up about what he doesn’t know, because he doesn’t know.”

What happened when she saw Penn on television during the Academy Awards?

“…When his turn came I muted it and I started working on my lines. And then it was, like, are they done? Then he comes on stage and I was like, “Ughhhh.” (rolls eyes, makes face)

¡Ay, caramba! Beautiful and intelligent. Alonso, not Penn.

Source: TMZ
Link to TMZ video

Hollywood teaches New York a lesson on taxes

photo: x-eyedblonde
photo: x-eyedblonde

Why don’t liberals understand that changes in tax policy also cause changes in people’s behavior?

Connecticut, which offers the nation’s heftiest tax incentives, is nearing agreement to bring the production of three syndicated TV shows to the state. “The Steve Wilkos Show” and “The Jerry Springer Show,” which are currently based in Chicago, and “Maury,” which is now produced in New York, are the shows that may make the move.

This is causing panic among other New York productions. Michael Imperioli, Harvey Keitel, and Jason O’Mara stars of TV’s “Life On Mars,” recently joined labor leaders to beg Empire State legislators to extend the state’s TV production tax credits.

No kidding? You mean Hollywood power players would actually abandon New York just to lower their tax burdens by moving production to Connecticut?

The problem with government, to use an old farm analogy, is that it always thinks it can increase milk production by increasing number of milkers instead of increasing the number of cows.

Source: HollywoodReporter

The financial crisis explained in simple terms

We don’t know the source of this simple, yet brilliant explanation of the world’s financial crisis. It’s one of those things floating around the internet. Sit back, have a beer, and be enlightened:

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar.

Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral. Continue reading “The financial crisis explained in simple terms”

You’re a Nazi, because CNN’s D. L. Hughley said so

You may not have known this, but if you’re a Republican, you’re a Nazi. At least that’s what CNN’s D.L. Hughley says.

You hate Jews, Gypsies, blacks, homosexuals, gays and damn near everyone else. You want to ship them all off in railroad cars to be starved, tortured and killed. Then you will dump their emaciated bodies in large piles. In your spare time you’ll invade Canada and Mexico in a mad quest for world domination.

“The tenets of the Republican Party are amazing and they seem warm and welcome,” Hughley said with a completely straight face. “But when I watch it be applied, like you didn’t have to go much further than the Republican National Convention….It literally look(s) like Nazi Germany.”

We thought we just wanted lower taxes and a smaller government. But D.L. Hughley’s on television, so he must be right.

It’s “No Cussing Week” in Los Angeles. No one gives a flyin’ #$&%*

photo: Vox Efx
photo: Vox Efx

The Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors will issue a proclamation by Supervisor Mike Antonovich this morning declaring the first week of March “No Cussing Week.”

Why stop there, guys? While you’re at it, let’s declare next week “Nero Fiddles While LA Burns Week.” The week after can be “Rearrange the Deck Chairs on the Titanic Week.” And the week after that can be “How the $#%@ Did We Get Elected Week.”

We predict that “No Cussing Week” will have a devastating effect on LA County’s economy.

Hollywood will be forced to shut down all movie production. Morning DJs will have to go silent. And the rap music industry will nosedive into a deep depression.

Source: AP

Doctor tells Hugo Chavez to shut up. Looks like we just found a new Surgeon General.

hugo_chavezHugh Chavez, the “elected” president of Venezuela, has been told by his doctor to stop talking in order to rest his vocal chords.

The loony leftist often delivers rambling diatribes that stretch on for five hours or more, putting enormous stress on his vocal chords and his listeners.

“I am a little affected by the intensive, continuous and permanent use of this cannon I’ve got here and the doctor has told me not to talk,” Chavez quipped to a recent audience.

Chavez’ throat is enflamed by the stress of giving dozens of rambling campaign speeches in which he frequently sings and shouts. He recently spoke before the Venezuelan Congress for nearly seven hours. On top of that, he also hosts a weekly TV show.

Imagine that. A president who goes on television every week and speaks endlessly. Looks like America really has become a third world country.

Source: Reuters

CNN’s Castellanos says “Listening to Obama is like sex.” If only it were over as quickly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnDibuQM-g0A few weeks ago, we wrote about Nancy Pelosi and her lust for Obama’s “stimulus” package. But now CNN has given life to something we thought was parody.

On Sunday’s “State of the Union” show, Republican strategist, CNN contributor and nutcase Alex Castellanos said, “…A friend told me once that listening to Barack Obama give a speech is like sex. The worst there ever was, was excellent.”

We’ve always been ambivalent about sex education, but this statement leads us to conclude that America’s children are woefully ignorant when it comes to the reproductive sciences.

If only Obama’a speeches were over in two minutes like sex. Uhhh…like other people’s sex, we mean. Not ours. We are the studs of the universe and women swoon at our feet. Really.

if video is pulled, go directly to CNN here to view.

Barney Frank. Two impediments for the price of one.

On Thursday’s Hardball show, Chris Matthews asked one of his typical long, poorly-worded questions and Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank responded with one of his typical long, poorly thought-out answers.

“What do you make of this big shift,” Matthews circumnavigated, “away from Bushism, if you will? Away from tax cuts, from people who make certain amount of money and to begin a health fund, you know, national health care?”

“I think it’s what people voted fo-wah,” Frank said rhotically. “There was no secwet that this was going to happen. John McCain kept pwedicting that if Obama won, this would happen, and I think Obama felt an obwigation to make an honest man out of John McCain, to keep him honest. One, John’s always been pwetty honest. Of course, the pwivate sectow is the engine to cweate wealth. But we also know, as Fwanklin Woosevelt knew and as othews have known, that the pwivate sectow works best when it’s got a set of wules and a coopewative set of awwangements with the public sectow.”

Barney Frank, the congressman who gives you get two for the price of one — a speech impediment and an economic impediment.

Obama’s version of the War on Terror aimed at productive, loyal Americans

We really like CNBC economist Larry Kudlow because he calls ‘em as he sees ‘em and, not so coincidentally, as we see ‘em.

“Let me be very clear on the economics of President Obama’s State of the Union speech and his budget,” he said in a recent article. “He is declaring war on investors, entrepreneurs, small businesses, large corporations, and private-equity and venture-capital funds.”

“That is the meaning of his anti-growth tax-hike proposals, which make absolutely no sense at all — either for this recession or from the standpoint of expanding our economy’s long-run potential to grow.”

Read the rest of Kudlow’s hard-hitting opinion piece.

While you’re reading it, please pretend we wrote it, because it’s really good and we wish we had.

Fox reports “11 ways to make your sex life greener”

Photo: Elven Nicole
Photo: Elven Nicole

We don’t make this stuff up, we just report it. Nobody could make this stuff up.

Fox News just issued a story titled “Eleven Ways to Make Your Sex Life Greener.” This surprised us, because we didn’t know that sex was bad for the environment.

“As we become more compelled to sustain the future, all that is erotic is becoming green,” Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright says in the report. “From seduction to sex, individuals are becoming more planet-friendly as well as body-friendly.

<b>Sexpert Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright</b>
Sexpert Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright

The story goes on to provide tips on green dating, vegetarian porn, green weddings, bamboo sheets, sustainable wooden paddles, and phthalate-free vibrators. (Dammit, man, we don’t even know what a phthalate is, but it sounds kind of kinky.)

As a public service, IHateTheMedia.com generously submits the following tip that Dr. Fulbright overlooked:

“Keep the lights off when you’re having sex with someone ugly. It will conserve energy and your self-esteem.”

You’re welcome. Who needs The Playboy Advisor when you have IHateTheMedia.com.

Source: Fox News

NY Times flushes away its credibility, says to use crappy toilet paper

new-york-times-toilet-paperEvery day, 365 days a year, the New York Times cranks out more than one million copies of shoddy reportage also known as a newspaper. Entire forest have given their lives so that the New York Times might live lie.

But that doesn’t keep them from chastising Americans for flushing toilet paper down the drain.

In an article called “What Mr. Whipple Didn’t Say: Softer Paper Is Costly to Forests,” the Times reveals that Americans like their bathroom tissue thick, silky and soft as a baby’s bottom (so to speak).

In their view, this makes you a bad person because millions of trees get wiped out just so you can wipe up. If you were simply willing to do your duty with, say, a dried-out old corn cob or a recycled Audi, those trees could grow up, get married, go to law school and live long, happy productive lives.

Don’t take this sitting down. Begin recycling the New York Times by using it as toilet paper.

You might even say that if you get behind the New York Times, the New York Times will get behind you. If you know what we mean.

Source: New York Times

Child porn problems continue to dog singer R Kelly

r_kellyNow R Kelly’s been accused of stiffing the private detective he hired to recover incriminating evidence that could have could have been used to convict the R&B singer during his infamous 2008 child porn case.

Private eye Charles Freeman is asking $300,000 for services rendered during that trial. Kelly was eventually found not guilty of 14 charges including having sex with a minor and taping himself having sex with a girl barely in her teens.

Freeman says he was hired to “obtain and/or recover certain tapes that were said to incriminate” the singer.

In a surprising turn of legal events, Kelly was found innocent despite the fact that the jury viewed a tape that many observers said clearly showed Kelly and the girl engaged in sexual intercourse.

Kelly’s defense was the classic “Who you gonna believe, me or your lyin’ eyes?”

Source: TMZ

Nutty Rosie O’Donnell plays a therapist on TV. Is this a comedy or science fiction?

Photo: David Skankbone
Photo: David Skankstone on Wikipedia

This is what can only be called a case of art imitating stupidity.

Hollywood wingnut Rosie O’Donnell is the executive producer, co-writer, and star of “America,” a LifeTime Original movie that follows the life of a troubled seventeen year old who has grown up in foster care.

We’re sure it’s a touching story. A real tear jerker. Something we’ll watch, remember and someday tell our grandchildren about. Or not.

What could be funnier than the thought of anger management control victim Rosie O’Donnell playing someone who gives psychological advice?

What’s that? “America” premiered last week? We missed it? Probably while we were watching that “Dog the Bounty Hunter” marathon.

13-year old author speaks at CPAC, makes millions ashamed of their lives

Jonathan Krone, 13-year old author of “Define Conservatism” delivered an address at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, DC this weekend.

To repeat, the kid’s thirteen years old. He’s already written a book. And he’s a hell of a good speaker, too.

We did an informal survey of the editorial staff here at IHateTheMedia.com, asking the question “What were you doing when you were thirteen?” The results are as follows:

33% were collecting baseball cards and comic books.

33% were worried about pimples.

33% were inappropriately touching themselves.

Damn you, Jonathan Krone, damn you. If we didn’t admire you so much, we’d hate you.

An IHTM Editorial:
Debunked: Porn in the USA, Conservatives are biggest consumers

porn-pixelated-left


Hating the media is our reason for living. And we think intentionally misleading news stories are almost as pornographic as pornography. Like the one ABC News ran the other night.

At IHateTheMedia.com, we admit right up front that what we do is commentary. On a good day, mildly amusing commentary. We would never call ourselves a news organization, and after this so-called news report, maybe ABC News shouldn’t either. “Porn in the USA: Conservatives Are Biggest Consumers,” ABC’s report, said “Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious.”

The background

According to a study (view PDF) conducted by Benjamin Edelman of the Harvard Business School, there’s very little difference between porn consumption in red states and blue states. In fact, Edelman concludes that “When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different…The differences here are not so stark.”

Unfortunately, ABC started its report by stating a starkly contrary conclusion, then went off on a circuitous safari in search of data to support it. In reality, there’s absolutely nothing in the study to support ABC’s flimsy conclusion that conservatives consume more porn than liberals, because there’s nothing in the study that asked the respondents if they were conservative or liberal. Nothing.

But above and beyond ABC’s outrageous claims, we believe the study itself has serious problems. Continue reading “An IHTM Editorial:
Debunked: Porn in the USA, Conservatives are biggest consumers”

Which Senators voted in favor of censorship…uh…we mean the Fairness Doctrine?

dem_donkeyBy now you’ve probably heard that the Senate approved an amendment a few days ago to outlaw the “Fairness Doctrine.” Republican Senator Jim DeMint’s amendment passed by a comfortable margin of 87-to-11.

Although one would think it’s important to know which senators cast their votes in favor of censorship, we can’t find a single news report that calls out their names. So we’ll do it:

Bingaman (D-NM), Conrad (D-ND), Dorgan (D-ND), Feinstein (D-CA), Harkin (D-IA), Johnson (D-SD), Kerry (D-MA), Reed (D-RI), Rockefeller (D-WV), Sanders (I-VT), and Whitehouse (D-RI).

In addition, Kennedy (D-MA) did not vote, but does anyone doubt that he would have joined them Infamous Eleven had his health been up to it?

Please note that there’s a “D” attached to ten of the eleven of the names. “D” as in Democrat. “D” as in unDemocratic.

Jodie Foster busted for hybrid hypocrisy

prius_race_car

Jodie Foster was pulled over in Beverly Hills last week for speeding. Police said the movie star’s politically-correct Prius was clocked doing 54 in a 35 mile per hour zone.

To make it even better, the whole thing was caught on tape by a crew of “Speeders,” a truTV reality show.

According to the New York Post, “Foster refused to sign a waiver to appear on the show, so the camera crew ceased filming and returned to the police car. But she grew quite agitated and angry, and kept insisting to the police officers that the radar gun must have made a mistake. She maintained to the officers that she was only going 30 mph at the time they pulled her over, and she kept interrupting and complaining that the process was taking too long…Despite her numerous requests otherwise, the cops still issued her a citation.”

In a similar story, Al Gore’s son was arrested in July, 2007 for doing 100 mph in his Prius on the San Diego Freeway.

We have the same reaction to both stories: Who’d have believed a Prius could actually exceed the speed limit?

SOURCE: NY Post Page Six

Crazy story of the day: Iran won’t believe Obama until Hollywood apologizes

iran_hates_300

We’re not sure which is funnier: the fact that Hollywood sent a delegation to Iran or the fact that Iran immediately demanded an apology from that delegation.

“(Iranian) cinema officials will only have the right to have official sessions with…Hollywood movie makers, when they apologize to the Iranians for their 30 years of insults and slanders,” said Javad Shamaghdari, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s offical art advisor.

“We will believe Obama’s policy of change when we see change in Hollywood, too,” Shamaghdari continued, “and if Hollywood wants to correct its behavior towards Iranian people and Islamic culture then they have to officially apologize.”

The testy Iranians are upset because the movie “300” portrayed their ancient Persian ancestors as bloodthirsty and because Mickey Rourke’s character tore apart an Iranian flag in “The Wrestler.”

We say, “Get in line, Iran.” No apology for you until we get an apology for Sean Penn’s entire career.

Source: Breitbart

Clint Eastwood walks into a bar with Al Sharpton and a rabbi…

clint_eastwoodClint Eastwood thinks political correctness has ruined society’s sense of humor. And he was just warming up. He also accused younger generations of wasting their time trying to avoid being offensive.

He told the Daily Express that he should be able to tell harmless racial or ethnic jokes without being branded “a racist.”

“People have lost their sense of humor,” Eastwood said. “In former times we constantly made jokes about different races. You can only tell them today with one hand over your mouth or you will be insulted as a racist.”

“I find that ridiculous,” he continued. “In those earlier days every friendly clique had a ‘Sam the Jew’ or ‘Jose the Mexican,’ but we didn’t think anything of it or have a racist thought. It was just normal that we made jokes based on our nationality or ethnicity. That was never a problem. I don’t want to be politically correct.

OK, have you heard this one? Tom Cruise walks into a bar with a Mexican, and a priest…

Phone’s ringing. We’ll finish that joke later.

Source: Yahoo

Chris Matthews doesn’t want the Democrat Party to be called the Democrat Party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR7MphuhEwcChris Matthews is a very sensitive man. He cares about the feelings of others. Especially when the others are Democrats.

In the middle of Thursday night’s Hardball program, Matthews interrupted California Congressman Darrell Issa’s comments on the administration’s massive budget deficit to complain that Issa had referred to the opposition as “the Democrat Party.”

“I think the Democratic Party calls itself the Democratic Party, not the Democrat Party,” Matthews raged. “Do we have to do this every night? Why do people talk like this? Is this just fighting words? They call themselves the Democratic Party. Let’s just call people what they call themselves and stop the Mickey Mouse here. Save that for the stump.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEVmAbxC14gBased on that faulty logic, if Matthews were discussing rap music, he would refer to African-Americans as “niggas” like so many rap artists do. That would be, as Matthews requested, just calling people what they call themselves.

Matthews might want to re-think this concept.

WARNING: The Richard Pryor video contains obscenities. But what the hell, it’s Richard Pryor. What do you expect?

Senator Dick Durbin takes it in the back door

dick_durbinSenator Jim DeMint’s amendment to kill the Fairness Doctrine was pretty straightforward.

But an aide to DeMint said Senator Dick Durbin’s amendment requiring “diversity” in radio ownership will “impose the Fairness Doctrine through the back door by trying to break up radio ownership.”

The Democrats can disguise it, rename it, and repackage it any way they want. But DeMint’s aide called it “an attempt to break up companies like Clear Channel and hurt their syndications and therefore putting many local radio stations out of business that depend on those syndicated shows for revenue.”

The measure passed by a vote of 57-to-41 without a single Republican vote.

Censorship is like the Rasputin. You can poison it, shoot it, stab it, and drown it, but it won’t die as long as Democrats are running the show.

Taliban beheads “US spy”
as “gift to Obama”

"We'll leave the truly hideous nature of this photograph to your imagination."
We'll leave the truly hideous nature of this photograph to your imagination.

Why isn’t this story the headline on every newspaper? Why isn’t it leading off every newscast? Why is it not even considered newsworthy?

According to local Pakistani police, Taliban militants beheaded an Afghan citizen after accusing him of spying for the United States. The man was kidnapped a week ago and his body was discovered Thursday in North Waziristan.

“He was slaughtered overnight. His headless body was put on the roadside,” police official Munir Khan said.

A note found on the man’s body said “Whoever spies for the US will face the same fate. This is a gift to (US President Barack) Obama.”

“See how much the world loves us,” an Obama spokesman somewhere likely said. “They’re already giving us gifts.”

Source: AFP

Porn to be wild: Octuplet mom lands in middle of a bidding war

nadya suleman fourteen children under the age of eight and an IQ to match.
Fourteen children under the age of eight and an IQ to match.

Nadya Suleman, mother of the California octuplets born last month, has landed smack dab in the middle of a public relations feud between rival porn producers.

One adult film producer has offered Suleman $1 million plus free health insurance to star in one of his porn productions.

In response, another porn producer offered Suleman a year’s supply of diapers if she turns down the first offer. Kim Kysar, manager of the second company, said the company’s offer demonstrated its “social responsibility”.

“It simply isn’t in your best interest, and more importantly, in the best interest of your children, for you to become a porn star,” Kysar said in a letter. “As you know, there’s a great deal of stigma attached to being a porn star. It’s not something that a mother should take lightly, as this decision will most assuredly affect the lives of your children, and not in a positive way.”

“I have to go now,” Kysar then thought to himself. “I have some socially responsible naked women greased up in the next room and the socially responsible cameras are ready to roll.”

Source: Sydney Morning Herald

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