Kenny Tessel, owner of a Reading, Ohio barbeque restaurant thought of a clever way to combat a drop in business.
He bought a busty lifelike mannequin, dressed it in a bikini, and put it in his front window. Voila! Business started busting out all over.
“She has done it,” Tessel said about the mannequin he’s named Barbie Q. “She has made people stop. I know that sounds crazy and it’s hard to believe.”
Unfortunately, the city’s busybodies have complained about Barbie’s body. Yes, they’re offended by a mannequin in a bikini. Tessel was forced to appear before Reading’s Design Review Board to get a permit for Barbie. The board ruled that the well-endowed mannequin could stay, but that she’d also have to stay “covered up.”
This is truly a case where the cover-up is worse than the crime.
“We can’t keep on just borrowing from China,” Obama said at a town-hall meeting in Rio Rancho, New Mexico, outside Albuquerque. “We have to pay interest on that debt, and that means we are mortgaging our children’s future with more and more debt.”
Oddly enough, it sounds as if he’s not aware that he’s the one doing all the spending.
The Sub-Prime Fiasco and the Obama Spending Fiasco. Parallel tracks meeting in the distance.
Have you ever noticed the strange parallels between the last year’s sub-prime loan fiasco and this year’s Obama spending fiasco?
In the subprime fiasco, people borrowed money to live far beyond their means. In the Obama spending fiasco, the government’s borrowing money to live far beyond its means.
In the subprime fiasco, everyone in charge knew the borrowers would never be able to repay their debts. In Obama’s spending fiasco, everyone in charge knows the government will never be able to repay its debts.
In the subprime fiasco, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd assured everyone that everything was ok. In Obama’s spending fiasco, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd are assuring everyone that everything will be ok.
In the subprime fiasco, anyone who raised an objection was called a racist. In Obama’s deficit spending fiasco, anyone who raises an objection is called a racist.
In the end, there really is only one difference between these two fiascos. This one has a lot more zeroes.
Clinton Foundation offers internships. You can't make this stuff up.
We quote from the Clinton Foundation website:
“Interns and volunteers are critical to accomplishing the Clinton Foundation’s mission and are valued members of our team. Find the right position for you and apply online today.”
We’re pretty sure we know what kind of positions they’re talking about. And none of them are “missionary.”
We won’t tell you who produced this commercial because it might give you a clue to the answer of the question it poses:
What do all these people have in common? John Lennon, Nelson Mandella, Babe Ruth, Jamie Foxx, Nancy Reagan, Bill Clinton, Jack Nicholson, J.R.R. Tolkien, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Wendy’s Dave Thomas, Sarah McLachlan, Steve Jobs, Jesse Jackson, Newt Gingrich, Willie Nelson, and Eleanor Roosevelt.
Do you know? Do you have a guess? Watch the commercial and learn the answer.
Looks like there’s no one left in Venezuela brave enough to tell Hugo Chavez when one of his ideas is stupid.
The Venezuelan strongman (we can’t bring ourselves to call him “President”) just launched one of the world’s most inexpensive cell phones. At just $15, it rivals the cheapest Asian phones.
Hey, Hugo, is that a Vergatorio in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
The stupid part is that he named it the Vergatorio, which is Venezuelan slang for penis. He even made penis jokes at the public product launch.
Why, you may wonder, is the Venezuelan leader introducing a new cell phone and giving it an offensive name? Because he can. He recently nationalized the company that developed the phone, which makes him its new chief executive.
Makes sense to us. And we look forward to seeing Barack Obama introduce the exciting new 2010 Chryslers in the near future.
Update: While we didn’t name it after someone’s body part, the United States has a free government cell phone.
Let’s make one thing clear right up front. This is not your typical list of patriotic songs. Hardly.
Each song on this list, while not a military song, was chosen because it expresses something honest about the troops. Their heart. Their grit. Their toughness. Their tenderness. The lives they lead that ordinary mortals can never imagine.
These are songs for the troops, about the troops. These are the songs that speak to them. The songs that inspired them to enlist. The songs that remind them to re-up. The songs that get them revved up. The songs they sing. The songs they live. The songs they love. Not military songs, but hopefully they will love them.
“THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER” – TED NUGENT
We were torn. Do we include the Jimmy Hendrix instrumental version or the Ted Nugent version. Let’s see, Ted’s a patriot and Jimi was a screwed up liberal drug addict. Let’s go with Ted.
Thanks to stimulus money, Democrats are hoping to sweep the zombie vote
Our guess is that all the “stimulus” in the world isn’t going to help these people. The Treasury began sending checks to thousands of dead people this week.
Here’s how Fox News reports it:
Antoniette Santopadre of Valley Stream was expecting a $250 stimulus check. But when her son finally opened it, they saw that the check was made out to her father, Romolo Romonini, who died in Italy 34 years ago. He’d been a U.S. citizen when he left for Italy in 1933, but only returned to the United Stated for a seven-month visit in 1969.
The Santopadres are not alone. The Social Security Administration, which sent out 52 million checks, says that some of those checks mistakenly went to dead people because the agency had no record of their death. That amounts to between 8,000 and 10,000 checks for millions of dollars.
The feds blame a rushed schedule, because all the checks have to be cut by June. The strange this is, some of the checks were made out to people — like Romonini — who were never even part of the Social Security.
Money for dead people? Considering how many of them show up on voter roles, this just looks like another case of Democrats rewarding their constituents.
President Obama is working hard to protect your tax dollars Recession? What recession? Based on President Obama’s 2010 budget, federal employees are going to be fatter and happier than ever. Because the U.S. government is on a spending spree and a hiring spree.
Here’s how CBS News reports it:
Executive branch employment — 1.98 million in 2009, excluding the Postal Service and the Defense Department — is set to increase by 15.6 percent for the 2010 fiscal year. Most of that is thanks to the Census Bureau hiring 102,000 temporary workers, but not counting them still yields a net increase of 2 percent in one year.
There’s little belt-tightening in evidence in Washington, D.C.: Counting benefits, the average pay per federal worker will leap from $72,800 in 2008 to $75,419 next year.
$75,419 per year? Average? On top of the federal government’s rich retirement and health benefits?
Apparently President Obama is too busy regulating financial industry salaries to bother controlling executive branch salaries.
CNBC’s Maria Bartiromo lived up to her “Money Honey” nickname yesterday by standing up to her union goon guest and defending the American dream.
She had two guests on her CNBC show on Thursday – Steve Malanga, a senior fellow with the Manhattan Institute, and Jonathan Tasini, executive director of the Labor Research Association.
Here’s how the conversation went:
BARTIROMO: So, you want us to go the European way?
TASINI: For example, there was just a great piece in the New York Times about Norway, and explaining how it has actually expanded its coverage and protection of people. I would argue that people in Norway probably live a better standard of living than most people in this, than many people in this country.
BARTIROMO: Well, the economies of Europe have been in the dumps for, for years, even before this economic slowdown even started. You think that, you think the socialist measures have anything to do with that?
TASINI: Well, what I found interesting is both Steven and both you have ignored the two points that I’ve made which is that we have the greatest inequality that we’ve had in the last hundred years, and the most important point I tried to make was productivity. Productivity in the last 30 year is soaring. That means…
BARTIROMO: But what is redistribution of wealth going to do for productivity? What is, what is the idea of the American dream, of working hard and achieving something, and knowing that all, you know, half your wealth is going to someone who didn’t do that?
Why that’s just crazy talk, Maria. The Democrats don’t want to redistribute the wealth. They want to redistribute the poverty.
Whorish and hypocriticalish Shanna Moakler demonstrating the 'racy' pose for which Carrie Prejean was condemned. Click image to see a defintely NSFW Playboy video of her.
Donald Trump had the moxie to let Carrie Prejean keep her Miss California crown. The next day the director of the Miss California pageant Shanna Moakler “resigned” and made the following comments to UsMagazine.com
“Since the press conference yesterday, I had a chance to think about what has taken place, and I feel that at this time it is in my best interest to resign from the Miss California USA organization.”
“I cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth,” she sneered. “I want to be a role model for young woman with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams.”
In the world of beauty pageants, the words “role model” is apparently a synonym for “cheap, sleazy whore.”
Here are some photos and videos of Shanna Moakler, role model.
Bad news for American workers and taxpayers. That auto bailout isn’t quite working the way they hoped it would.
According to a leaked document, GM plans to sell Chinese-manufactured cars to American consumers as soon as 2011.
Here’s how Fox News reports it:
General Motors is currently the best-selling foreign automaker in China, and Buick is number one brand overall, part of the reason that the nameplate was saved during a recent round of cuts that included the elimination of Pontiac. As an example of the growing influence of that marketplace on the company, the interior of the upcoming replacement for the Buick LaCrosse sedan was designed at a GM studio in Shanghai.
According to the report, GM plans to sell nearly 18,000 Chinese-made vehicles in the US in 2011, with that number rising to over 50,000 by 2014.
The chart above shows exactly what a circle jerk this is.
China buys US government debt. The US government uses that money to bailout General Motors. General Motors manufactures cars in China which it then sells in the United States. Americans buy those cars which gives GM the money to pay back the government which then pays back China.
The end result: The Chinese get the jobs. The Chinese get the money. And the only thing Americans get is the shaft.
Oprah's rich, you're not. End of discussion. Oprah made the commencement address at Duke University yesterday. She gave an address for which any conservative would have been skewered by the liberal press:
“It’s great to have a nice home. It’s great to have nice homes! It’s great to have a nice home that just escaped the fire in Santa Barbara,” she told the students. “It’s great to have a private jet. Anyone that tells you that having your own private jet isn’t great is lying to you.”
Sure, she went on to say “You haven’t completed the circle of success until you help someone else move to a higher ground and get to a better place.” Blah, blah, blah.
The Duke graduates were terribly disappointed with Oprah’s address. When she started talking about helping someone else, they thought she was going to give away free cars to everyone in the audience again.
As anyone who took high school science knows carbon dioxide (CO2) is what people and animals exhale and plants “inhale”.
Yet environmental zealots call it a “greenhouse gas” to make it sound harmful.
What would be really harmful, though, is if the Environmental Protection Agency starts regulating CO2. Well, hang on to your wallet, Money Bags, because that’s exactly what they’re considering.
Last month, the EPA issued a proposed finding that greenhouse gases “endanger public health and welfare within the meaning of the Clean Air Act.”
But now an internal White House memo reveals glimpses of sanity within the administration. A memo sent by the Office of Management and Budget to the EPA says that greenhouse gasses have “no demonstrated direct health effects” but that regulation “is likely to have serious economic consequences.”
EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson was confronted about the memo at a Senate hearing. Watch how she tap-dances around the question, misrepresents the Supreme Court’s ruling (as if the Supreme Court makes laws) and downplays her agency’s finding, saying it was preliminary and “might not” lead to regulations. But if they did decide to start regulating CO2, they’d “make regulations smartly.”
God help us. If anyone’s responsible for global warming caused by greenhouse gas emissions, it’s bureaucratic windbags.
Joe Biden indicating that the economy is ten times more socialist than ever
Honesty-challenged Vice President Joe Biden told rosy tales of an economic recovery on Wednesday. But even the liberal Assocated Press says the facts tell another story:
It is not disputed that Washington is spending historic amounts of money at a rate far faster than normal. Workers are getting tax breaks, Washington is picking up a greater share of state Medicaid costs and road construction projects are beginning.
Even Recovery.gov, the Web site that has yet to live up to its billing as a one-stop way to track every penny, offers more information than typical government programs, and faster.
But the effect of that spending is less clear. Many of the claims the White House is making are based on anecdotes selected to fit the Obama administration’s message. For instance, the report cites a newspaper article about workers being rehired at a factory in Chicago. That account is true, but is no more an accurate snapshot of the nation’s economy than a story, not cited in the report, about a Roanoke, Va., railcar factory closing.
Capturing the full effect of the stimulus at this early stage is difficult, but the administration has set high bars for success. In championing those successes, however, the White House plays a little loose with the facts.
You can see the specifics of the Associate Press fact check here.
Joe Biden playing a little loose with the facts? We are shocked that the Associated Press would make such a baseless accusation. Shocked, we tell you.
We don't know if Piper Palin is violating any health codes, but she's definitely obeying the law of supply and demand Up in the wilds of Juneau, Alaska Sarah Palin’s eight year old daughter Piper has struck a blow against President Obama’s socialist agenda.
Since mom Sarah Palin has risen to national prominence, tour companies have begun running busses through the neighborhood where the governor’s mansion is located. Carloads of tourists are flooding the neighborhood, too.
Noticing the increased traffic through her neighborhood, the entrepreneurial eight year old set up a lemonade stand in front of the mansion and has begun selling the tart treat to tourists. The budding entrepreneur seems to understand capitalism and how the free market works than the entire Obama administration.
Piper Palin better watch out.
Next thing you know, the FDA will swoop in and tell her she’s violating health standards. The IRS will want to see her sales records. Tim Geithner will force her to take TARP funds. And President Obama will force her out of the lemonade stand she founded and turn it over to his allies in the United Lemonworkers Union.
This is a satellite photo of the Korean Peninsula. Global warming fanatics will probably look at it, wring their hands and wonder why those capitalist, environmental rapists in South Korea can’t be more like their socialist brothers north of the 38th Parallel.
Look how admirable the people of North Korea are, they’d say. They don’t eat up the world’s dwindling natural resources by burning needless electricity generated by unnecessary power plants. They don’t pollute the skies. They don’t make sea levels rise. And they don’t kill any damn polar bears.
On the other hand, global warming realists know the only way to reduce humanity’s so-called carbon footprint to what the greens consider an acceptable level is to flip off every light, shut down every industrial plant, stop the production of food, and return to the sort of pre-industrial conditions that plague the people of the People’s Republic.
We just hope the American people see the light before there are no more lights left to see.
What’s this? Janeane Garofalo buys her coffee from that evil international, outsourcing, third-world nation enslaving Starbucks corporation? That sounds like the making of a story of its own. But this story is what happened when she walked out of the coffee house and was confronted by FOX News producer Griff Jenkins.
Jenkins asked Garofalo if she wished to apologize to tea party goers for her comment that they were all racists, all protesting for one reason: they hate a black president.
Nope. She would not back down. All you who attended the tax protests are still hate-mongering, teabagging racists (even you black protesters). She told Griff that she even saw a sign with the dreaded 666 on it. Well, that proves it.
But we do want to give you big props for your support of giant, U.S. multinational corporations, Janeane. Sorry you got caught doing it.
"Good work, mi amigo. How about if I take over the healthcare industry next and you take over the media."
Please allow us to talk out loud while we try to make sense of this:
When Hugo Chavez nationalized the oil companies in Venezuela and said he was doing it for the good of the country, that’s bad. But when Barack Obama nationalized the car companies in the United States and said it was for the good of the country, that’s good.
Here’s how CNSNews.com reports events in Venezuela:
The BBC recently carried this headline: ‘Chavez seizes oil service firms.’ The article describes how the president of Venezuela “sent troops to take over companies that provide services for the oil industry.” This is the kind of stuff which used to make headlines, back in the days when it was rare for central governments to take control of private companies. But, these days it passes almost without comment. Chavez didn’t try to couch the takeover in terms of TARPs or Stimulus Packages or Stress Tests. Chavez said, “This is a revolutionary offensive.”
Oh, just imagine the laughs these two amigos will share the next time they get together.
Anyone who wants to call waterboarding torture should talk to Bang Mi-Sun about real torture
A shocking story of real torture was told in Washington, DC on Wednesday. It went completely unreported by the biased liberal media that wants you to believe waterboarding somehow rises to the level of torture.
Here’s how Chosun Korea tells the story of Bang Mi-Sun:
There were gasps in the audience at a press conference by female North Korean defectors in Washington, D.C. on Wednesday when Bang Mi-Sun rolled up her black skirt and showed the deep ugly scars in her thighs. The event was part of North Korea Freedom Week.
As soon as she was asked to recount her life in a North Korean concentration camp, Bang (55) stepped on a chair and roll up her skirt. Various parts of her thighs were sunken as if the flesh had been gouged out. She also walks with a limp.
Bang had formerly been an actress with the propaganda squad of the Musan Mine. She fled the North with her children when her husband starved to death in 2002, but soon fell victim to human traffickers. She was arrested by Chinese police and was sent back to the North, where she was tortured. In 2004, she escaped again.
Nancy Pelosi immediately demanded congressional hearings to determine if Dick Cheney had authorized North Korea’s enhanced interrogation techniques.
Are we the only ones who find it odd that all members of the U.N. Human Rights Council run unopposed?
Why that Barack Obama guy is unstoppable. First he gets elected President of the United States, then he gets the United States elected to the most corrupt organization within the remarkably corrupt United Nations.
You’ll be proud to know that the United States now sits on the U.N. Human Rights Council. Right alongside such notable human rights advocates as Cuba, China, Russia, and Saudi Arabia.
We’ve boycotted the commission in the past because it served primarily as a venue to bash Israel.
Here’s how Associated Press reported this milestone achievement for President Obama:
Former President George W. Bush’s administration boycotted the council over its repeated criticism of Israel and its refusal to cite flagrant rights abuses in Sudan and elsewhere.
But the U.S. announced in late March that it would seek to join the council to help make it more effective, reflecting President Barack Obama’s desire to create a “new era of engagement” with the international community.
Even though the U.S. did not face competition in its regional group for a seat on the 47-member council, it needed to get at least 97 votes — a majority of the 192 U.N. member states — in a secret ballot. It did far better, winning 167 votes.
“We received 90 percent of the valid votes cast,” U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice pointed out after the vote. “And we’re gratified by the strong showing of encouragement for the United States to again play a meaningful leadership role in multilateral organizations including the United Nations on the very vitally important set of issues relating to human rights and democracy.”
Let’s review: We ran for this obscene council unopposed and got 90% of the vote.
On one hand, the 90% figure is so high that it sounds suspiciously like the election results announced in a country like North Korea or Cuba. On the other hand, we ran unopposed and still couldn’t get one out of ten countries to vote for us.
Don't ask retired Marine Gen. James Jones about "Don't ask, don't tell."
The guy who got elected President by convincing people he was a new kind of politician continues to demonstrate that he’s anything but.
Now he may be going back on his promise to eliminate the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.
Here’s how CNSNews.com reports it:
“President Barack Obama’s national security advisor, retired Marine Gen. James Jones, said over the weekend that he ‘doesn’t know’ if the Obama administration is going to try to overturn the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy that says homosexuality is incompatible with military service.”
George Stephanopoulos, host of This Week, asked if “Don’t ask, don’t tell” would be overturned.
“I don’t know,” Jones hemmed and hawed. “We’ll have to — the president has said that he is in favor of that. We’ll just wait — we’ll have to wait and see — as a result of the deliberations and as a result of the – in the months and weeks ahead. We have a lot on our plate right now. It has to be teed up at the right time so – to do this the right way.”
Translation: Maybe…maybe not…it’s complicated…don’t try to pin me down…Obama may…Obama may not…let’s talk about Iraq.
Ross Miller, Nevada’s evil Republican Secretary of State, has filed 39 criminal complaints against ACORN. What’s that? He’s a Democrat? Well, that’s pretty damn inconvenient.
In Clark County alone, ACORN registered 91,000 people but 50% of them couldn’t be verified. The typical percentage of unverifiable voter registrations is just 2%.
Miller appeared on Glenn Beck’s show and said, “We’re just trying to send a strong message that we won’t tolerate these kinds of fraudulent practices in the future.”
“When we executed the raid on the ACORN headquarters here in Las Vegas we came across thousands of pages of documents, emails,” Miller continued. “Within those documents we found their company policy directive that outlined for their employees the fact that they were required to meet certain quotas and that these employees were expected to turn in 20 registration forms per day. Otherwise they’d be terminated.”
“We think that the case is very strong,” Miller added. “It’s a very thorough investigation that we’ve had almost a year now in place showing that they were compensating their individual canvassers based on the total number of people registered which is a felony in this state. We’ve filed 39 counts. I think they’re going to have a difficult case to make to the twelve jurors who will ultimately hear this.”
There’s an old saying that a man should be judged by the company he keeps. Our President keeps the company of ACORN.
