I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Former Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney ashamed of America’s first Afro-American president

Former member of the US House of Representatives Cynthia Anne McKinney said she is truly ashamed of America’s first Afro-American president.

If you’re anything like us (and for the sake of your own self respect, we hope you’re not), you’ve been wondering what’s become of Cynthia McKinney, the lunatic who once represented Georgia in Congress.

Well, she’s back. She’s now a member of the Green Party and recently took her lunacy international.

Iran’s FarsNews has the details:

Former member of the US House of Representatives Cynthia Anne McKinney said she is truly ashamed of her country’s policies.

Addressing an international conference dubbed ‘International Coalition against Terrorism for Fair Peace’ here in Tehran on Saturday, the former US House member urged Washington to avoid imposing its will on the world nations through the use of force, violence and weapons.

“As an American, I am upset with the policies of my country, but the measures adopted by the first Afro-American president of the United States has ashamed us all,” she said.

“If there is no truth, there won’t be any justice, and today the US policies are rooted in lies, injustice and war,” she continued.

But, Cynthia, Joe Biden said the guy was articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking. So we’re pretty sure all those policies you oppose were the work of his nefarious white half.

Source: FNA

Important legal news: Court permits Brazilian to masturbate at work

No one can honestly say they haven’t jerked off at work, but for most of us it’s just a figure of speech. Not so for one Brazilian woman.

IHateTheMedia.com’s ace legal department sent us this story, which tells you a lot about our legal department.

No one can honestly say they haven’t jerked off at work, but for most of us it’s just a figure of speech. Not so for one Brazilian woman.

orgasm-face — Every time her boss said, "Take a letter, Miss Lopes," the Brazilian secretary said, "I'd like an o."

M24Digital is an oddly appropriate source to tell us about the woman’s digital manipulation:

This is the story of Ana Catarina Bezerra Silvares, an employee of an accounting firm, a divorced mother of three who lives in the village Vila Velha, Espírito Santo.

The woman suffers from a rare condition known as “compulsion orgasmic”, caused by a chemical alteration in the brain region of the cortex, which leads her to masturbate several times a day to relieve the deep anguish that it causes.

Under this circumstance, Bezerra started legal proceedings with the company where she works that eventually won and that enables to masturbate for 15 minutes every two hours, besides using the computer to see erotic images that stimulate her desire.

The Brazilian newspaper North Regiao reported that the woman confessed, “There was a day I had to masturbate 47 times”, adding: “I began to suppose that this could not be normal, and decided to seek help.”

Currently, Bezerra follows a treatment that includes a potent cocktail of sedatives which gets her to “only” masturbate 18 times a day.

Ahhhh, reminds the editor of his 13th summer. But this really is neither the time nor the place.

Source: M24Digital.com

Is Obama getting “wisdom and advice” from CNN? Or isn’t he?

CNN’s Fareed Zakaria made a very odd claim on Friday’s Eliot Spitzer show. He said that President Obama often calls him for “wisdom and advice.”

CNN’s Fareed Zakaria made a very odd claim on Friday’s Eliot Spitzer show. He said that President Obama often calls him for “wisdom and advice.” We say odd because it calls into question any claim of journalistic impartiality.

Oh, but wait. It’s CNN we’re talking about, so that that’s really never been an issue, has it?

We’re pretty sure that someone screamed in Zakaria’s earpiece that he had said something stupid, because he’s as soon as the show ended he went into spin mode and claimed he said what he said but didn’t really mean what he said when he said it. Or words to that effect.

By Saturday night he had moved into spin overdrive by blogging:

Clarifications on my conversations with the president:

The characterization that I have been “advising” President Obama is inaccurate. Over the last few months I’ve had a couple of conversations with the president, off-the-record. At no point did President Obama ask me for advice on a specific policy or speech or proposal, nor did I volunteer it. I know that he has had similar meetings with other columnists.

Considering what a mess Obama has made of his presidency it seemed entirely reasonable that he has been getting advice and wisdom from a second tier analyst on a third tier cable news network.

But, seriously, folks, isn’t getting political wisdom and advice from CNN like getting chastity advice from Madonna?

Definition of chutzpah: Syria kills 780 protesters, then condemns Israel for firing on Syrian invaders

The Assad regime has slaughtered 780 protestors according to human rights groups. Then they condemn Israel for firing on Syrian invaders.

Syria’s response to the Arab Spring has been brutal. The Assad regime has slaughtered 780 protestors according to human rights groups. But this is one of those situations where you can call your sister ugly, but no one else can.

The Jerusalem Post reports Assad’s hypocrisy:

“Hundreds of Lebanese and Palestinians approached the fence at Maroun a-Ras. The Lebanese army did not stop them. When IDF saw them attempting to destroy the fence, they took steps to stop them,” Brig.-Gen. Yoav “Poli” Mordechai told Channel 10 News.

Of course, the reaction was just what you would have expected.

Syria condemned on Sunday Israel’s “criminal activities” in the Golan Heights,Gaza, the West Bank and southern Lebanon where Israeli forces had fired to disperse pro-Palestinian protests.

Israeli troops shot at protesters in three separate locations to prevent crowds from crossing Israeli frontier lines.

State news agency SANA quoted the foreign ministry as saying it called on the international community to hold Israel responsible for the incidents, the deadliest such confrontation along the borders in years.

Of course, they want to hold Israel responsible. According to the Arabs, Israel has been responsible for every bad event in the world since the White Sox threw the 1919 World Series. Yes, that was 30 years before Israel was founded, but those damn Zionists undoubtedly had something to do with it.

H/T: Gateway Pundit

New York becomes Mexico: Everyone under 30 crossing the border to other states

Just as young Mexicans flee Mexico looking for jobs and better lives, young New Yorkers are fleeing the Empire State in search of the same things.

Just as young Mexicans flee Mexico looking for jobs and better lives, young New Yorkers are fleeing the Empire State in search of the same things. The only real difference is that Janet Napolitano doesn’t greet the New Yorkers with milk and cookies when they cross the border.

statue of liberty — Red states are now taking her tired, her poor, her huddled masses, yearning to breathe free.

The New York Daily News reports the emigration information:

A new Marist College poll shows that 36% of New Yorkers under the age of 30 are planning to leave New York within the next five years — and more than a quarter of all adults are planning to bolt the Empire State.

The New York City suburbs, with their high property values and taxes, are leading the exodus, the poll found.

Of those preparing to leave, 62% cite economic reasons like cost of living, taxes — and a lack of jobs.

“A lot of people are questioning the affordability of the state,” said Lee Miringoff, director of the Marist College Institute for Public Opinion.

Cost of living. Taxes. Lack of jobs. Sound like lyrics from a song called The Blue State Blues. Look for it on new albums from Sheryl Crow, the Dixie Chicks and Barbra Streisand.

Source: New York Daily News

Here we go again: Exposing the free government home repair scam. This time, the Weatherization Assistance Program.

Now you can get free government assistance (read: money) to repair your home. But only anyone who’s already receiving some other kind of government assistance probably can.

Now you can get free government energy assistance (read: money) to repair your home. Well, in the interest of accuracy, you probably can’t get it. But anyone who’s already receiving some other kind of government assistance probably can.

snuggie — Snuggies would be a lot cheaper and the government could probably buy them in bulk on QVC

Yes, good ol’ Uncle Sam now offers free home repairs to low income families. In theory, the grants are money savers because those families often live in drafty homes and have high heating bills. In reality, we’re pretty sure it’s just another way to pound money down a rat hole and all the insulation in the world won’t plug that hole.

Here, according to eHow.com, are the five easy-peasy steps necessary to suck a few more bucks from the government teat through the Energy Assistance Program:

Instructions

1. The home repair program provides licensed contractors to seal attics, walls, floors, air ducts, cover water heaters and other basic maintenance. This program, is designed to save low income families, about $300 a year in energy costs.  

[ad-1985977]

2. Check your state: Contact the department of Energy in your state, for further information on the Weatherization Assistance Program [Energy Assistance] or home repair grants in your area.  

3. Qualifications: To be eligible for a home repair grant or help to winterized your home, your income must be below 125% to 150%. Some states will vary in the income qualifications.  

4. The application: The application process is very simple. You must provide proof of income, unemployment, ownership or renting, to be considered for the program.  

5.  Acceptance: Once you have been approved for a home repair grant, local agencies will come to your home to be assess possible heat loss, carbon monoxide leaks and a plan of action will be designed to weatherize your home.

Hey, here’s an idea. Maybe you can call all the free government contractors on your free government cell phone while you’re driving around in your free government car.

And that, friends, is what we call the socialist circle of life.

Source: ehow.com

Lawrence O’Donnell demonstrates the left’s version of “fair and balanced”

Which cable news network is truly fair and balanced – Fox or MSNBC – was proven once again when the story was President Obama’s invitation to rapper Common for the White House Poetry Night.

Which cable news network is truly fair and balanced – Fox or MSNBC – was proven once again last Wednesday night (in other words, it was just like every other night of the week). The day’s top story was President Obama’s invitation to rapper Common to participate in Poetry Night at the White House.

On Fox, O’Reilly brought on not one but two liberal radio talk show hosts to present the leftist point of view. MSNBC’s Larry “The Cable News Guy” O’Donnell brought on one liberal to parrot his talking points.

Might this be why the latest ratings reveal The Factor more than triples The Last Word’s number of viewers?

While attacking Republicans for speaking out against the invitation, O’Donnell singled out the line, “Tell the law my Uzi weighs a ton” as the reason for the Republican’s objection.

Larry purposely, conveniently omitted what Republicans made very clear as their objection: lyrics about burning President Bush, and defending cop killer Joanne Chesimard.

The straw man that O’Donnell and his guest offered as substitute? Racism. Being MSNBC, would you expect anything else?

Shamelessly substituting lies for truth with phony righteous indignation: Larry O’Donnell – a proud graduate of the Edward R. Olbermann School of Yellow Journalism.

– Written by Sonny Palermo

Obama issues warning: “You don’t want to be between Michelle and a tamale”

“You do not want to be between Michelle and a tamale,” joked the president. “It’s true. It’s true. But she’s moving, though, so she can afford to have as many tamales as she wants.”

We’re just trying to imagine the response if we had said something like that about Mrs. Editor and Mrs. Administrator. Let’s just say it wouldn’t be pretty.

ABC News has the story of our brave President putting himself in harm’s way:

tamale-michelle-obamas-favorite-food — Historic: We finally found something on which we agree with Michelle Obama

President and Mrs. Obama welcomed a big crowd to the White House for a Cinco de Mayo reception in the East Room. Hispanic politicians, Hispanic Americans serving in the Obama administration, and members of a commission on exploring the creating of a new national museum of the American Latino were among those in attendance.…The crowd learned a little tidbit about the first lady, courtesy of her husband.

Said Obama: “I asked Michelle the other day, I said, ‘What’s your favorite food’ — because we were sitting around with the girls. She said, ‘Ah, Mexican food.’”

“You do not want to be between Michelle and a tamale,” joked the president. “It’s true. It’s true. But she’s moving, though, so she can afford to have as many tamales as she wants,” said Obama in a nod to his wife’s “Let’s Move” healthy campaign.

Question of the day: Which is more dangerous – standing between Michelle and a tamale or standing between Barack and a TV camera.

Eithe way, you’re liable to get trampled.

Source: ABC News

Swami Tim Geithner says we’ll have a double dip recession if debt ceiling isn’t raised

You have to give Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner points for creativity even if you can’t give him points for honesty.

He’s peered into the official Treasury Department crystal ball and seen a double dip recession in our future. So instead of admitting that Obamanomics has failed, he’s laying the groundwork to blame it on the people who want to reverse those failed policies.

The National Journal covers Geithner’s preemptive butt covering:

Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said if Congress fails to lift the debt ceiling and the U.S. defaults on its obligations “this abrupt contraction would likely push us into a double dip recession,” painting the most explicitly dire prediction to date of the consequences of inaction.

In a heavily-anticipated response to Sen. Michael Bennet, D-Colo., who asked Geithner to document the economic and fiscal impacts of failing to lift the statutory debt limit, the Treasury secretary detailed a chain reaction that would cripple the economy, costing jobs and income.

A default would inflict catastrophic far-reaching damage on our nation’s economy, significantly reducing growth and increasing unemployment,” said Geithner in the letter to Bennet which was dated May 13. “Even a short-term default could cause irrevocable damage to the economy.”

Of course, this is nothing more than Geithner delivering the Obama administration’s agreed upon message:

“The failure of our policies is someone else’s fault.”

Source: National Journal

Bin Laden death photos show “brains hanging out of the eye socket.” Cool.

Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe, one of the select few who was allowed to view the infamous death photos of Osama Bin Laden, told Fox News’ Shep Smith exactly what he saw.

We guess we’re supposed to be shocked and horrified about this, but we’re not. Far as we’re concerned, it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe, one of the select few who was allowed to view the infamous death photos of Osama Bin Laden, told Fox News’ Shep Smith exactly what he saw.

Mediaite has the explicit details:

Inhofe confirmed that the photographs from the compound, taken right after SEAL Team Six members shot and killed bin Laden, are indeed “gruesome,” and clarified that he was also shown three older photos as a means of comparison. So. What, exactly, constitutes as gruesome? Inhofe described two, close-up pictures taken of bin Laden’s ear, adding that he is unsure whether a bullet went through the terrorist’s ear and out his eye, or went through his ear after entering his head through his eye socket. The Senator added that brain matter was visible exiting through the socket.

Inhofe added that bin Laden’s beard was shorter and grayer than it had appeared in older photos, and that he was wearing “underwear.” (Smith, amusingly, seemed to find this rather shocking.)

To tell the truth, we’re far more horrified by the thought of Bin Laden in his underwear than we are by his brains hanging out of his eye socket.

Call us callous. We’ve been called worse.

Source: Mediaite

Friday afternoon and all the reporters took off early. Good time to announce 200 more ObamaCare waivers.

The Obama administration isn’t good at much, but it has mastered the art of burying bad news by releasing it late on Friday afternoons.

The theory is that most reporters have taken off early to investigate the effect of bloody Marys on the human body, so bad news will get lost in the weekend shuffle.

Obamacare waivers — The Obama administration has mastered the fine art of the Friday afternoon document dump

Fortunately, this story didn’t slip by the folks over at The Hill:

The Obama administration approved 204 new waivers to Democrats’ healthcare reform law over the past month, bringing the total to 1,372.

The waivers are temporary and only apply to one provision of the law, which requires health plans to offer at least $750,000 worth of annual medical benefits before leaving patients to fend for themselves. Still, Republicans have assailed the waivers as a sign of both favoritism and of major problems with the law.

“The fact that over 1,000 waivers have been granted is a tacit admission that the healthcare law is fundamentally flawed,” Energy and Commerce Chairman Fred Upton (R-Mich.) said in March. Upton is one of three House committee chairmen who has used new oversight powers to investigate the annual limit waivers.

We haven’t yet seen this new list of exemptions, but if it looks anything like previous lists, it’s a hodgepodge of unions, healthcare providers and other big Democrat contributors.

Would someone please grant us a waiver from this administration?

Source: The Hill

Arizona governor throws down the gauntlet: Tells Obama to stop the jokes, secure the border

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is pissed off. Really pissed off. And the object of her pissoffedness is President Obama.

She invited the Commander in Chief to come to Arizona and visit the Mexican border nearly a year ago, but he’s been very busy bankrupting the country and hasn’t been able to work it into his schedule. He did find time, however, to have the federal government sue Arizona for doing what the federal government wouldn’t – protect the border.  

Brewer has huevos grandes, something this President is sorely lacking, so she put together this new commercial that challenges Obama to get off his duff, to stop making juvenile jokes about illegal aliens, and to perform his constitutionally mandated duties.

Hey, it’s a mandate, President Obama. You should love it.

A quote from our buddy, the Top Gun instructor, regarding the death of Osama Bin Laden

Here’s what our Top Gun instructor buddy had to say about Osama Bin Laden and the Navy SEALs and Barck Obama’s “bravery”.

Guys with nerves of steel appreciate other guys with nerves of steel. Here’s what our Top Gun instructor buddy had to say about Osama Bin Laden and the Navy SEALs and Barck Obama’s “bravery.”

“Thanking Obama for killing Bin Laden is like going into McDonald’s and thanking Ronald McDonald for the hamburger. It’s the guy cooking the burger that should get the credit, not the clown.”

‘Nuff said.
Image from Moonbattery.com

Harry Reid’s inspirational speech: We need the people of America to rise up for amnesty

We’re not sure why they call Barack Obama the greatest orator of all time. Not while Harry Reid’s alive, that is.

If anything can build a fire under a crowd and convince them to rise up, it’s an exciting speech by the Nevada dynamo.

Here’s ol’ Harry calling on the American people to rise up and let their elected leaders know how important the DREAM Act is.

/sarcasm-off. Seriously, would anyone be surprised to find out that Harry’s addicted to Quaaludes? He must be the single most boring speaker in the history of America. In fact, it’s possible that Harry Reid is just one huge Weekend At Bernie‘s prank on the American people.

Is Juan Williams trying to get his old NPR job back?

We want to like Juan Williams. We really do. There are times when he seems like a nice guy, sometimes even a rational liberal. But…

We want to like Juan Williams. We really do. There are times when he seems like a nice guy, sometimes even a rational liberal.

Then there are other times – like Sunday morning on Fox News Sunday – when he veers so far to the lunatic left that we can only shake our heads in amazement.

Here’s Juan the lunatic liberal sounding as if he’s auditioning to get his old NPR gig back again:

“Let me finish this point. So what if we got some information by means of torturing people. As President Obama and we heard this morning from Tom Donilon, it’s not in our values to pull out people’s teeth and eyeballs and secondly, you know, we could get that information in other ways.”

Juan apparently has some inside information that Amnesty International hasn’t yet gotten its hands on. Information that says we now extract prisoners’ teeth and eyeballs while extracting information.

Keep this up, Juan, and Fox will be forced to move you from the Sunday morning news show to the Saturday morning cartoon show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SqwxUchYYQ

H/T: Gateway Pundit

Man charged with barking at police dog. His defense? “The dog started it.”

There’s an old adage in journalism that says, “Dog bites man isn’t news. Man bites dog is.” This story is a bit of a twist on that theory.

The Associated Press gets it teeth into the story:

dick-cheney-snarl — Dick Cheney was a man who knew how to snarl at a pack of rabid dogs

A police report says 25-year-old Ryan James Stephens was charged with teasing a police dog in the Cincinnati suburb of Mason.

Officer Bradley Walker wrote that he heard the K9 dog barking uncontrollably inside his patrol car while he was investigating a car crash at a pub early Sunday morning. Walker says Stephens was making barking noises and hissing at the animal.

Walker reported that Stephens said “the dog started it” when asked why he was harassing the animal. The officer said Stephens appeared highly intoxicated.

The Associated Press missed a sure bet in this story when it neglected to say that the officer had collared the suspect.

Source: Associated Press

NASA-funded group makes up wacky theory to explain why global warming isn’t causing sea levels to rise

Damn it! Damn it to hell! Satellite measurements show that sea levels aren’t rising like the warmers predicted, so a NASA-funded group has come up with its own scientific theory to explain the shortfall.

global warming sea level rise — Nature in balance: Land masses are rising almost as fast as sea levels are rising!

Forbes has the latest global warming “facts”:

Satellite measurements, however, show global sea level rose merely 0.83 inches during the first decade of the 21st century (a pace of just 8 inches for the entire century), and has barely risen at all since 2006. This puts alarmists in the embarrassing position of defending predictions that are not coming true in the real world.

The University of Colorado Sea Level Research Group is coming to their rescue. The NASA-funded group claims glacial melt is removing weight that had been pressing down on land masses, which in turn is causing land mass to rise. This welcome news mitigates sea-level rise from melting glacial ice, meaning sea level will rise less than previously thought. However, it is very inconvenient for alarmist sea level predictions. Therefore, instead of reporting the amount by which sea level is rising in the real world, the Sea Level Research Group has begun adding 0.3 millimeters per year of fictitious sea level rise to “compensate” for rising land mass.

In other words, they’re twisting the facts to make them fit the theory. Kind of like they did with tree ring data and the hockey stick.

Seems to us that those same precise satellite measurement devices that are capable of measuring a miniscule rise in sea levels should also be capable of measuring any corresponding rise in land masses.

We’ll just sit here and wait for the University of Colorado Sea Level Research Group to deliver that data.

Oh, wait. What were we thinking? They’re the Sea Level Research Group. That data will probably have to come from another NASA-funded organization called the Land Mass Level Research Group.

Source: Forbes

Howard Fineman: Don’t judge Obama on his performance in office

MSNBC contributor Howard Fineman suggests that President Obama made a bit of an error early in his administration when he told voters to judge him on his performance.

MSNBC just keeps upping the ante on intentionally bizarre. They’re turning into the political version of Weekly World News.

For example, MSNBC contributor Howard Fineman suggests that President Obama made a bit of an error early in his administration when he told voters to judge him on his performance.

Fineman now realizes that’s a losing concept so he thinks Obama should pivot and run on some nebulous “values” platform instead of running on his record.

We would suggest you keep your day job, Howard, because your future as a political strategist seems very limited.

H/T: NewsBusters.org

Keith Olbermann then: Evil Dick Cheney heads a secret, unconstitutional assassination team
Keith Olbermann now: How ‘bout those cool Navy Seal assassins

Just a couple years ago, Keith Olbermann said newly-elected President Obama should shut down the evil Bush-Cheney assassination apparatus. But now…

Just a couple years ago, Keith Olbermann feared a constitutional crisis. He called JSOC “shocking”, “egregious” and “terrifying to the nature of democracy”. He said newly-elected President Obama should shut down the evil Bush-Cheney assassination apparatus.

But now, according to a new video posted on Olbermann’s website, it looks as if hyperbolic host has gained a new appreciation for professional assassins. As long as they report to a liberal Democrat, that is.

Barack Obama got Osama Bin Laden. And every other political calculation, every strategy that suggests Democratic weakness or liberal uncertainty is … as dead as Bin Laden.

There’s certainly one liberal uncertainty that’s no longer uncertain – Olbermann is just as big a putz off the air as he was on the air.

H/T: Tim Blair

Democrat Rep. Jan Schakowsky says America was a “loser” until Bin Laden was killed

Jan Schakowsky tells Chris Matthews that America was a loser until we whacked Bin Laden.

Jan Schakowsky is like Alan Grayson without balls. On second thought, that may not be an accurate description because we’re not convinced that Grayson has any more balls than he has brains.

But we digress.

The following short video clip tells you all you need to know about this lunatic. She tells Chris Matthews that America was a loser until we whacked Bin Laden.

“This was a seminal event in their lives, you know? This is the big deal for them growing up. And so I think that there is this feeling now, not just with young people, but getting over this feeling that America is kind of loser and now we’re a winner.”

OK, we finally came up with the proper description for Schakowsky:

Alan Grayson in drag.

Yup. That works.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EH11eX_bk4

The worst honeymoon in history, even worse than the Editor’s

Stefan Svanstrom of Stockholm set out on a 4-month honeymoon with wife Erika and their baby girl and the number of troubles they faced is astounding.

Eleven years ago this month, on the first morning of the Editor’s honeymoon, he turned on CNBC (yeah, he’s a romantic devil) only to discover that the two stocks in which he had just invested had both plummeted. The new Mrs. Editor assumed that his sudden, deep depression was an indication that he regretted the marriage.

Although that seemed horrible at the time, both stocks eventually recovered as did the Editor’s mood, and the honeymoon was saved. And in retrospect, that little financial glitch was nothing compared to the honeymoon described in this Associated Press story:

Stefan Svanstrom of Stockholm said Tuesday he set out on a 4-month-long honeymoon with his wife Erika and their baby girl on Dec. 6 and immediately got stranded in Munich, Germany, due to one of Europe’s worst snowstorms.

After that, he says, they experienced the devastation of a cyclone in Cairns, Australia, and the flooding in Brisbane, and narrowly escaped the bush fires in Perth.

Just before arriving in New Zealand, Svanstrom says, the 6.3-magnitude earthquake hit Christchurch and at the couple’s last destination, Tokyo, they felt Japan’s largest temblor since records began.

Feel free to share you honeymoon horror stories.

Oh, and happy anniversary, Mrs. Editor.

Source: Associated Press

Exclusive: Shocking excerpts from Osama Bin Laden’s diaries

Thanks to our high level contacts in the CIA, IHateTheMedia.com is proud to be the first media outlet to offer excerpts from the Bin Laden diaries.

The Washington Post reveals that, “U.S. officials say that Osama bin Laden kept a hand-written journal filled with planning ideas and details of operations. The journal was seized in the dramatic US raid.”

Thanks to our high level contacts in the CIA, IHateTheMedia.com is proud to be the first media outlet to offer excerpts from the Bin Laden diaries:

osama-bin-laden-2 — Dear Diary, Hold on. Sounds like someone's at the door. I'll be...

Dear Diary,
So sad today. Martyrdom can be very lonely thing. Hiding out in a massive complex with just the bare minimal number of satellite channels and only a few wives while all your friends are getting blown up by American bombs is some times too much to bear. Sorry. Got to go. Abduhl just found repeats of Everyone Loves the Raymond!

Dear Diary,
Each day I realize that Islam is the religion of peace. If I could only kill all the people who don’t share this opinion. Here’s hoping.

Dear Diary,
Al-Zawarhi is on Fox. He’s so dreamy. That thick beard and those little glasses. He looks so intellectual. I think I have a little man-crush going on! lol.

Dear Diary,
It seems like everywhere Islam goes there is conflict. Israel. Kashmir. Iran. Indonesia. And Africa? Forget about Africa! Everyone is hating on us there. Why is it? Why do all cultures seem to fight against us? If I wasn’t so theologically correct in the teachings of Mohammed, praise him, I would speculate that we’re the aggressors. I just made myself laugh so hard I spit espresso on my journal.

Dear Diary,
Good news! I am receiving help from my friends in the… Pakistan… I mean Kapistani… government and intelligence agencies. Time to get my jihad on.

Dear Diary,
Found new website today – IHateTheMedia.com. Started posting as Jameela. Still waiting for free Obama phone 🙁

Dear Diary,
Met with wife number five and boy is she pissed. Seems she now has nasty camel rash. My bad.

Dear Diary,
Started using new beard dye. Local farmers not happy about stains on their goats. To them I say, build taller fence!

Dear Diary,
Really enjoyed the Royal Wedding. So romantic. That Pippa is something, isn’t she? She’s, like 27, though. A little too long in the tooth for me. Also, she is not a goat.

Dear Diary,
Q: Why were my last three posts about bestiality? A: Have you seen wives 2 through 5?

Dear Diary,
Hah! Joe Biden has not yet figured out he is chatting with me in the Hair Club for Men forum.

Dear Diary,
The damn air conditioning unit is on the fritz. Again! It is clicking and knocking. It’s noisier than a bunch of American Special Forces helicopters. Hey, wait a minute…

Contributors: Sven Warning, JJJRO

Fuel on the birther fire: Comparing and contrasting Obama’s “forged” birth certificate and his “real” one

Just when you thought the Obama birth certificate controversy had officially been put to bed, up pops this video analysis of the President’s long-discredited “forged” birth certificate.

The supposedly forged document has been floating around on the internet for a year or so and has been condemned as blatantly phony.

Therein lies the problem. If the forgery is, in fact, a forgery, it has some very interesting similarities to and differences from the new “authentic” long form birth certificate released a couple weeks ago.

As we always say, we think the guy was born in Hawaii, but this video makes you wonder.

H/T: iOwnTheWorld.com

MSNBC’s Martin Bashir asks former Congressman if he’d rather have Obama killed than Osama

Martin Bashir actually asks Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo is he’d prefer having Obama killed than Osama.

There seems to be quite the little competition going on at MSNBC – a competition to see which host can make the most outrageous comment. In fact, it seems to be an intentional corporate strategy.

Martin Bashir officially entered the fray during his interview with former Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo. Don’t let Bashir’s English accent fool you, because he’s quite capable of out-Schultzing Ed Schultz.

Bashir actually asks Tancredo is he’d prefer having Obama killed than Osama.

Try to imagine the squeals of indignation if Bill O’Reilly had asked a Democrat if he’d rather see George Bush assassinated instead of Saddam Hussein.

Could you speak up, please? We can’t hear you over the squeals of indignation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AefSi_3C6ww

HT: Breitbart TV

Scientist: “We think we saw a few birds that had a few spots of oil on them over there.”

Good lord almighty, they actually found a few oil spots on some birds returning to Newfoundland from the Gulf of Mexico. It’s a crisis.

Please allow us to translate the highly scientific jargon found in our headline: Give us some money and we’ll study the situation.

Good lord almighty, they actually found a few oil spots on some birds returning to Newfoundland from the Gulf of Mexico. It’s a crisis.

northern gannet — The Northern Gannet flies south for the winter. Northern scientists undoubtedly want to do the same.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation sounds the avian alarm:

A bird researcher has found northern gannets returning to a large nesting colony south of St. John’s are faring well despite concerns that a massive oil spill that began in the Gulf of Mexico a year ago would dramatically cut the area’s population.

Northern gannets from six colonies in Newfoundland and Labrador and Quebec migrate to winter in the Gulf annually.

Bill Montevecchi, a Memorial University researcher who has been tracking the birds’ journey to the Gulf of Mexico and back again, said Tuesday hundreds of the gannets were likely killed by oil that spilled after a rig explosion on April 20, 2010.

A year later at the Cape St. Mary’s colony in eastern Newfoundland, Montevecchi said he believed there are signs that some of the thousands of birds that return to the province to lay just one egg each year have been damaged by the spill.

“We think we saw a few birds that had a few spots of oil on them over there.” he said.

We think? Well, that’s good enough for us. Quick, alert the government! Emergency grants must be issued so scientists can begin studying the situation.

This calls for another trip to the Gulf. Probably in the middle of December when it’s minus 30 in Newfoundland and nice and sunny on the Gulf.

Waiter! Another mimosa, please!

H/T: Mike Power

Source: Canadian Broadcasting Corporation

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