Category: Music

Bob Dylan’s tepid Obama endorsement could be a hot song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9-FbvTJJLM Bob Dylan says he supports President Obama.

He read the book “Dreams from My Father” and liked it. But he told the Times of London that his support comes with some reservations and doesn’t know if Obama will make a good president.

Oddly enough, Dylan’s conversation sounds just like Dylan lyrics. Yes, the man speaks in lyrics. So that’s how we’ll present his answer to the question, “Do you think Barack Obama will make a good president.” Read it with Dylan’s nasally twang and see if you don’t agree.

“I Support Obama Sorta” by Bob Dylan
Will he be a good president
I have no idea.
He’ll be the best president he can be.
Most of those guys come into office with the best of intentions
And leave as beaten men.
Johnson would be a good example of that
Nixon, Clinton in a way, Truman,
All the rest of them going back.
You know, it’s like they all fly too close to the sun and get burned.

Reserve some studio time, Bob. We think you have another hit on your hands.

While we wait, let’s watch Dylan doing his classic “Like A Rolling Stone.”

Source: WilshireAndWashington.com

Oh, God! Obama gives the Queen of England an iPod!

Confusion ensued when President Obama told the Queen of England how much he loves "Crocodile Rock."
Confusion ensued yesterday when President Obama told the Queen of England how much he loves "Crocodile Rock."

It was April Fool’s Day, so you may be tempted to think we’re making this up. Unfortunately, it’s true.

President Obama continues to impress foreign dignitaries with his diplomatic gifts. Not.

During their visit to Buckingham Palace this week, the Queen Elizabeth II of England gave the Obamas a signed picture of herself beautifully framed in silver. The President presented her majesty with an iPod. Yes, you read that correctly – the officlal state gift from the President of the United States to the Queen of England was an iPod. (Now available on eBay starting as low as $15.89).

Unfortunately, the Queen already has an iPod. No word yet on whether she picked it up on eBay.

The iPod came loaded with photos of the Queen’s visits to Jamestown and Richmond, plus photos of Obama’s inauguration. The ObamaPod also came with…wait for it…Obama’s 2004 convention speech and his inaugural address. It also came loaded with show tunes. A whole bunch of Broadway show tunes including the song “Send In The Clowns.” Seems apropos.

Rumor has it that Obama was very disappointed when he met the Queen. “When you said we were going to meet the old Queen of England,” he steamed, “I thought you meant Elton John.”

Source: Daily Telegraph, ABC News

Associated Press thinks Michael Moore’s opinion is 2.1 times more important than Ted Nugent’s

ted_nugent1 The Associated Press makes it pretty clear where they come down politically. In fact, they couldn’t disguise it if they tried.

Take Saturday’s AP story on Detroit, for example. They asked three homegrown Detroit celebrities – Michael Moore, Ted Nugent, and Mary Wilson – about the city’s troubles.

They lead off with liberal fantasy moviemaker Moore, giving him seven paragraphs and 204 words. Yet conservative Motor City Madman Nugent merits only two paragraphs and 96 words (previous article). Even politically unannounced former Supreme Wilson tops that with four paragraphs and 104 words. The story even allowed Moore a chance to promote his new “documentary,” but mentioned no current or future projects from Nugent nor Wilson.

We’d like to propose a debate between the Moore and Nugent. A ten round debate. Mary Wilson can be the ring girl. Sell tickets. Bingo. Detroit’s financial problems are solved.

Mortgage your house. Put the money on Nugent.

We’re geniuses.

Source: Associated Press

Now the terrorists are rapping. We surrender.

May you soon meet Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. at that big recording studio in the sky.
May you soon meet Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. at that big recording studio in the sky.

Looks like there’s another nutcase out there who thought it was a good idea to trade the promise of a social security check for a cave in Somalia.

That’s right. Some lunatic who claims to be American heartily endorses jihad in a video posted this week on a militant Islamic web site often used by al-Qaida and other militant groups. An expert in such things says the video shows what may be the American leader of a band of Somali terrorist with ties to al-Qaida.

As if that weren’t frightening enough, the 30-minute video features an English language soundtrack with rap “music” that can generously be described as amateurish.

Rapping terrorists? Hah! These guys wouldn’t last ten minutes in South Central L.A.

Source: Breitbart.com

Saudi grand mufti says, “No movies for you. No nothing for you.”

Photo: Chad Rebels
Photo: Chad Rebels

Just weeks after that grand Hollywood delegation visited Iran on a “cultural” exchange, they’ve received bad news from neighboring Saudi Arabia. Movies are now taboo.

As AsiaNews/Agency in Riyadh explained it:

Cinema and theatre are “against Sharia” because they distract people from work and weaken their efforts in achieving progress, said Saudi Arabia’s Grand Mufti Shaikh Abdul Aziz Alu Al Sheikh during a conference on leisure, visual arts and literature attended by students at King Saud University. “Theatrical performance, whether it is a cinema or a song, would generally make an impression that is against Sharia. People need only those (art forms) that are useful to them to change their way of life (in an Islamic manner),” he decreed.

They continued. And so did the nutcase Mufti:

In his address to students at King Saud University, the grand mufti warned against playing chess because it “causes a man to lose his wealth and waste his time.”

Conversely “photography is one of the necessities of life” because it helps in “lectures, [. . .] religious activities [. . .] while maintaining public security.”

“Only the photography of sculptures and models is prohibited,” he said.

Remuneration for poets who attend festivals and cultural events is permissible if their words are good, faultless, without “abusive words or references.”

Finally, the mufti urged students to stay away from cigarettes and avoid reckless driving, especially at night or early morning.

Hold on. He didn’t mention cable TV, did he? Can they watch cable TV Saudi Arabia? If so, we highly recommend Entourage to the Grand Mufti. We’re pretty he’ll like it.

But he might want to watch it with the blinds pulled down.

Source: InfidelsAreCool.com

English rocker Noel Gallagher says, “The planet? I just don’t give a f**k.”

oasis-noel-gallagherTwo English rockers, Noel Gallagher of Oasis and Chris Martin of Coldplay, are butting heads over the environment.

“I remember being out with Chris one night and he said, ‘Why do you think it’s cool not to care?’ and I said, ‘Well I don’t think it’s cool, I don’t think I’m being cool.’

“I actually couldn’t give a f**k about what’s going on outside my family: me, my missus, my two kids and my Mam, and her parents…that’s it, for me.

“You know each to their own and I’m glad there’s people like that. But I just like to look after my own. I genuinely don’t give a f**k.”

While he was at it, Gallagher should have said he didn’t give a f**k about pseudo-environmentalist rockers who marry pompous American actresses who then pretend they’re English and give their children embarrassing names like Apple.

Source: Tim Blair/Sydney Daily Telegraph, The Sun

Islamic MTV: Simultanously moronic and oxymoronic

Tough to imagine anything more moronic than MTV nor anything more oxymoronic than the term “Arabic MTV.”

Walk down the street in any Arab capital and you’ll see burkah-covered women. Yet turn on the TV in any Arab living room and you’ll find a dozen music video channels filled with bared flesh.

Enter Ahmed Abu Haiba, the founder of 4Shbab TV, which calls itself “Islam’s own MTV.”

The idea behind 4Shbab is simple, he says. Mainstream music videos are “lewd” and do not represent the Arab world’s cultural values. He says they are haram, or forbidden and sinful in Islam.

4Shbab TV is Abu Haiba’s attempt to put young people back on the right path, he says, in a way that is fun and entertaining. Music videos from around the world – not just “Islamic videos,” but anything that’s positive, he says – air alongside call-in shows and contests like “Who wants to be an Islamic pop star?”

“Ask people in the street and they will tell you that these channels are something strange in our culture,” he says. “They smash our identity and confuse people, especially the younger generation. They give them a misunderstanding about their own lives.

Arabic MTV. We can’t wait to see Madonna in a burkah singing “Like 72 Virgins.” al-Vis Presley singing “Jailhouse Rocket Grenade Launcher.” And purple caftan-clad Prince with his rendition of “Party Like It’s 1399.”

Source: Christian Science Monitor

Michael Jackson sells out 50 London concert dates, apocalypse is near

Michael Jackson is still remarkably popular in London. In the same freakish way, we assume, that the Elephant Man would still be popular in London.

Jackson scheduled a series of “final” concerts in the English capital. Demented Englishmen snapped them up so quickly that more concerts were hastily scheduled. Fifty of them. And they sold out. 750,000 tickets in all.

That’s an average of 40,000 tickets an hour. More than 650 per minute. More than 11 per second. Fans from Japan, Belgium and Dubai lined up to to buy the tickets. One lunatic stood in line for two days. According to Radio & Records:

Chris Edmonds, managing director of Ticketmaster UK, said, “We often talk about unprecedented demand, but this week we have witnessed a live entertainment phenomenon. We have seen a truly amazing level of interest and demand for tickets from fans from across the world for the Michael Jackson shows at The O2 over the last 3 days. The success of the general on-sale today has led to Michael Jackson and AEG Live adding even more dates, taking the total amount of performances to 50. Today, we saw well over 250,000 fans hitting the Ticketmaster site at 7 a.m. for the general sale tickets. This was undoubtedly the busiest demand for tickets for an event which we have ever experienced.” 


Jackson is expected to perform his hit song “Black or White,” except this time he will perform both roles.

Source: Radio and Records

Madonna sees Angelina’s bet, raises her one, wants to adopt another Malawi child

Madonna: A shoo in for mother of the year
Madonna and Britney Spears: the battle for Mother of the Year honors is neck and neck. And necking.

Take that, Miss Smartypants Angelina Jolie. Madonna says she might just adopt another poor child from Malawi. And if she’s in a good mood, she might even get the permission of the child’s family first this time.

Some cold-hearted critics accused the Malawian government of playing fast and loose with the nation’s adoption laws when it allowed Madonna to adopt David Banda.

Reuters reported Madonna’s reaction:

“Many people — especially our Malawian friends — say that David should have a Malawian brother or sister,” she said in response to emailed questions from Malawi’s the Nation newspaper.

“It’s something I have been considering, but would only do, if I had the support of the Malawian people and the Government.”

“Or if I can sneak the kid out in my purse,” she said under her breath.

Source: Reuters

Chris Brown must think Nickelodeon is tough to beat

<b>It's tough to beat a network that doesn't care if you beat your girlfriend.</b>
It's tough to beat a network that doesn't care if you beat your girlfriend.

A couple months ago, singer Chris Brown was nominated for two Kids’ Choice Awards. A couple weeks ago, he was accused of beating the putty out of girlfriend Rihanna.

If you think Nickelodeon might withdraw the nominations to protest Brown’s behavior, think again. No way.

It’s translation time again here at IHateTheMedia.com.

What Nickelodeon said was, Brown “was nominated by kids several months ago, and the kids who vote will ultimately decide who wins in the category.”

What Nickelodeon meant was “This damn award show generates big ad bucks and if you think we’ll do anything to risk that, you’re crazy.”

The preceding translation brought to you as a public service by IHateTheMedia.com.

SOURCE: TMZ

Michael Jackson announces ten new concerts and one new nose

Nutty former “King of Pop” and one-time black man Michael Jackson announced today that he will perform ten concerts London this summer.

“These will be my final shows performing in London. ‘This is it’ really means this is it,” Jackson stammered. “I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear. I’ll see you in July and I love you so much.”

In an effort to be taken seriously, Jackson made his announcement while sporting oversized sunglasses and a sparkly, embroidered military-ish jacket. He also appeared to be sporting a new, even pointier and more upturned nose.

As a sad note to the proceedings, it was revealed that Jackson’s former nose is now penniless and living on welfare somewhere in South Central Los Angeles.

Same rapper who hates Bush thinks O.J. Simpson is “amazing”

Here’s a deep philosophical question for you to consider: Is it possible to be a rap artist without being a complete idiot?

Kanye West, the simple-minded rapper who’s most famous for saying “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” has offered up a few more brilliant observations. While taping a program for VH1, West recently expressed opinions on a wide range of people he apparently likes better than Bush.

“Can’t we give Chris a break,” he said about girlfriend-beating singer Chris Brown, “…I know I make mistakes in life.”

“Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing…He’s a real f%#in’ person. He makes mistakes,” he said in reference to the Olympic swimmer’s recent bong problem.

“O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing, though?”

Can’t wait to hear Michael Phelps’ reaction to being lumped together with a wife killer, a girlfriend beater, and a child molester.

Source: Reuters

Child porn problems continue to dog singer R Kelly

r_kellyNow R Kelly’s been accused of stiffing the private detective he hired to recover incriminating evidence that could have could have been used to convict the R&B singer during his infamous 2008 child porn case.

Private eye Charles Freeman is asking $300,000 for services rendered during that trial. Kelly was eventually found not guilty of 14 charges including having sex with a minor and taping himself having sex with a girl barely in her teens.

Freeman says he was hired to “obtain and/or recover certain tapes that were said to incriminate” the singer.

In a surprising turn of legal events, Kelly was found innocent despite the fact that the jury viewed a tape that many observers said clearly showed Kelly and the girl engaged in sexual intercourse.

Kelly’s defense was the classic “Who you gonna believe, me or your lyin’ eyes?”

Source: TMZ

An IHTM Editorial:
Debunked: Porn in the USA, Conservatives are biggest consumers

porn-pixelated-left


Hating the media is our reason for living. And we think intentionally misleading news stories are almost as pornographic as pornography. Like the one ABC News ran the other night.

At IHateTheMedia.com, we admit right up front that what we do is commentary. On a good day, mildly amusing commentary. We would never call ourselves a news organization, and after this so-called news report, maybe ABC News shouldn’t either. “Porn in the USA: Conservatives Are Biggest Consumers,” ABC’s report, said “Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious.”

The background

According to a study (view PDF) conducted by Benjamin Edelman of the Harvard Business School, there’s very little difference between porn consumption in red states and blue states. In fact, Edelman concludes that “When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different…The differences here are not so stark.”

Unfortunately, ABC started its report by stating a starkly contrary conclusion, then went off on a circuitous safari in search of data to support it. In reality, there’s absolutely nothing in the study to support ABC’s flimsy conclusion that conservatives consume more porn than liberals, because there’s nothing in the study that asked the respondents if they were conservative or liberal. Nothing.

But above and beyond ABC’s outrageous claims, we believe the study itself has serious problems. Continue reading “An IHTM Editorial:
Debunked: Porn in the USA, Conservatives are biggest consumers”

Did you know Al Gore invented hiphop?

We don’t know if this music video qualifies as rap or hiphop. But we’re pretty sure neither genre will be too quick to claim it.

Things haven’t been going well for our friends in the global warming crowd lately, what with the freakishly cold weather in the northern hemisphere this winter.

So they’re doing a little outreach to rap and/or hiphop fans. Because as the number of true believers dwindles, they need to reach out to people they’ve never targeted before. It’s their attempt to be “relevant.”

Listen and laugh. It actually makes Brittney Spears’ a capella work sound good.

Britney Spears sings with no music track. Cover your ears.

Let’s get right to the point. Because nothing we could write could possibly be funnier than the sound of Britney Spears singing without a music track.

In fact, there are lots of things we’d rather hear before we have to listen to Britney sing again.

For example, the hideous screeching of a she devil giving birth. The mournful wailing of a coyote whose leg is caught in trap. The sound of lunatic eating his own tongue.

But we’re feeling charitable today, so let’s just say, “Ladies and gentlemen, here’s Britney Spears.”

MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell run over by steamroller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAytq2Dh_SwOuch. Norah O’Donnell never saw it coming. It’s been hours now and she’s probably still woozy after the figurative beating she took from documentary maker John Ziegler.

Ziegler’s out promoting “Media Malpractice,” his new documentary, by making the rounds of all the news and talk shows. Today was MSNBC’s turn.

Based on the smug smile on O’Donnell’s face when the interview started, she though Ziegler was going to be easy pickings. She was wrong.

The former talk show host immediately went on the attack. He repeatedly and pointedly made her look like the empty-headed news babe she is (and by the way, politics aside, Norah O’Donnell is a babe).

Ziegler clearly enjoyed every moment of this interview. Norah, not so much.

For the Media Malpractice documentary, go here.

Yo-Yo Ma and Itzak Perlman accused of torturing cats

It’s now leaked out that the inaugural musical offerings of Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Gabriela Montero, and Anthony McGill were pre-recorded. What you heard was, in effect, the equivalent of instrumental lip-synching.

What these musical legends really played, what people sitting there in the stands actually heard, sounds remarkably similar to a roomful of cats being tortured.

NOTE: We condemn the torture of cats, but we are also condemn this god-awful screeching produced by musicians who are considered to be among the world’s best.

Prepare yourself. It’s not pretty.

Obama press secretary misses mood of country, disses Rick Santelli

The Obama administration has been hiring journalists left and right. But Rick Santelli probably shouldn’t bother sending over his resume.

At a White House press conference today, Obama press secretary Robert Gibbs was asked for the president’s reaction to Santelli’s outburst on the floor of the Chicago commodities exchange yesterday. Two things stood out about his answer.

First he said everyone at the White House got a good laugh out of it.

Then he concluded his longer remarks by saying, “I’m sure Mr. Santelli doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Every time Obama announces more of his “stimulus” program, the stock market plunges anew, announcing rather clearly that Wall Street thinks it’s Mr. Obama who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

UPDATE (4:15PM PST): Continue reading “Obama press secretary misses mood of country, disses Rick Santelli”

Blind man buys nude photo of Madonna for $37,500

Click for full image of photo. Warning: NSFW.
Click for full image of photo. WARNING: NSFW.

We don’t know much about art, but we know ugly when we see it. And that would pretty much sum up our opinion of Madonna.

Nevertheless, someone with an apparently severe vision impairment has paid Christie’s Auction House $37,500 for a full-frontal, nude photo of the pop queen as a 20-year-old.

Madonna was still using her full name — Madonna Louise Ciccone — when the photo was taken. She landed the gig after answering a classified ad seeking a nude model. She may have earned as little as $25 for the photo session.

We just wish we could be there when this poor blind man gets home, proudly unveils his purchase, and his family tells him what it actually is. Continue reading “Blind man buys nude photo of Madonna for $37,500”

When do religious broadcasters want the Fairness Doctrine? When hell freezes over.

Christian Broadcaster Pat Roberson
Christian Broadcaster Pat Roberson

Chalk up another vote against the Fairness Doctrine – this one from religious broadcasters.

“If I happen to say declaratively that the Bible tells me that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, and nobody comes to the Father but by Him,” said Christian talk show host Janet Parshall, “I am not interested in giving equal time to Buddha, Hinduism, or L. Ron Hubbard.”

We generally think political speech is the target of the Fairness Doctrine, but the only broadcast license that’s ever been revoked belonged to a Christian station. In 1964, a Pennsylvania Christian station carried a program on which the Reverend Billy James Hargis criticized author Fred Cook. When Cook was refused a chance to respond, he reported the station to the FCC. The station’s license was eventually revoked.

Can’t wait to hear Teddy Kennedy’s response to the Ten Commandments.

“The Grammys” may change name to “The Barackies”

grammy_awardThe 51st Annual Grammy Awards celebrated great singers, great musicians and, of course, Obama the Great.

First, the President received two Grammys for reading his own audio books. Then, Neil Portnow, president of the Grammys, declared his love for Obama by chanting “Yes we can!” and urging him to create a cabinet level Culture Commissar.

“Our finest national treasure is our culture and the arts,” Portnow said, “It’s time that we acknowledge that fact with the creation of a cabinet position of secretary of the arts to promote and develop this vital contribution to society everywhere.”

Bill Clinton immediately applied for the position. “That Pink chick is kind of hot in a scary kind of way,” he said, “Think she’d like to date the Culture Commissar?”

“The War on Terror” now hate speech

Words matter according to President Obama. Especially when they might offend the sensitive terrorists of the world.

“Words matter in this situation,” Obama told Anderson Cooper, “because one of the ways we’re going to win this struggle is through the battle of hearts and minds.”

Obama thinks we can cozy up to moderate Muslims if we choose our words carefully. So “The War on Terror” is out. Instead, Obama uses inoffensive but meaningless platitudes like “the enduring struggle against terrorism and extremism.”

Obviously, with all the tax cheats running rampant in his administration, Obama hasn’t had time to work up a catchy new phrase to replace “The War on Terror.” So we’re here to help. How about:

“The Obama Thrill-O-Rama”
 or
“The Dynamite Vest Dance Recital.”
 or
“57 Virgin Tour 2009”

We’re here for you, Barack. Call us anytime.

Global warming drives people insane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnze-_4_DpgA horribly depressed 17-year old Aussie boy was admitted last year to the psychiatric until at Melbourne’s Royal Children’s Hospital.

So worried about global warming was the young man that he refused to drink water. Australian doctors termed the condition “climate change delusion.”

“Climate change could have a real impact on our psyches,” says Paul Epstein, associate director of Harvard Medical School’s Center for Health and the Global Environment.

Experts at the IHateTheMedia.com School of Medicine have dubbed the condition Gore Syndrome. Common symptoms include delusions of grandeur, rapid weight gain, and shriveling of the portion of the brain that controls logic.

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