he Republicans came up with a clever online poll that lets Americans – anyone, really – vote on which programs they’d like to eliminate from next year’s budget.
The Republicans came up with a clever online poll that lets Americans – anyone, really – vote on which programs they’d like to eliminate from next year’s budget.
That just didn’t sit right with Florida democrat and impeached former federal judge Alcee Hastings. Keep in mind while you watch these rambling, wacky comments that Hastings is the same congressman who said during an ObamaCare meeting of the House Rules Committee, “When the deal goes down, all this talk about rules, we make ‘em up as we go along.”
Hastings has a bit of a point. It’s technically possible that Osama Bin Laden is sitting in a cave somewhere in Pakistan, filling out his eHarmony membership questionaire and voting in Republican polls, but we doubt it.
First Attorney General Eric Holder, then Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano, now State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley. And you know that President Obama hasn’t read Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law…
First Attorney General Eric Holder, then Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano, now State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley.
And you know that President Obama hasn’t read Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law because he’s had that laser-like focus thing of his going on creating jobs. Or stopping the oil spill. Or something.
The real question is no longer who hasn’t read it. It’s who has read it.
Tom McClintock should be governor of California. We’re embarrassed to admit that even we fell for Arnold’s lies and voted for him instead of McClintock. Big mistake. This speech on the floor of the House yesterday, ripping the president of Mexico Filipe Calderon, demonstrates why we owe him a huge apology.
Tom McClintock should be governor of California. We’re embarrassed to admit that even we fell for Arnold’s lies and voted for him instead of McClintock. Big mistake.
This speech on the floor of the House yesterday, ripping the president of Mexico Felipe Calderon on immigration, demonstrates why we owe him a huge apology.
He has huevos the size of coconuts and always speaks the truth.
Okay, so it wasn’t a physical bow, but you could hear the synapses creaking as Obama did a mental act of genuflection to Mexican President Calderon. The thought of a standing US president supporting a third world leader instead of the will of the American people is, well, no longer unexpected.
Okay, so it wasn’t a physical bow, but you could hear the synapses creaking as Obama did a mental act of genuflection to Mexican President Calderon.
The thought of a standing US president supporting a third world leader instead of the will of the American people is, well, no longer unexpected.
The President and El Presidente agreed that we need to do away with our hurtful, racist, unfriendly laws.
In lieu of that, perhaps we could come up with some kinder, more gentle names for crimes that wouldn’t hurt the feelings of the illegal aliens who commit them. May we suggest:
Deportation should be changed “The Homeward Bound Program”
Murder should be changed to “Spirit Maker” (as in “My client is innocent of felonious Spirit Making, your honor”)
Tax evasion should simply be called an “Ooopsie”
DUI should be called the far more innocuous “Road Trip”
Assault and battery should be called “Rock ‘em, Sock ‘em”
Even the word law sounds so angry. How ‘bout “Suggestion”.
Ahhh, much kinder, much gentle, much better. Muy bueno.
Donna Milo could be president of the Republican Women’s Club of South Florida. But a few years ago, she could have been president of the Republican Men’s Club. That’s right, big tenters, Donna is the first known transgender Republican candidate for congress.
Donna Milo is a Cuban-American conservative Republican. And used to be named Ed Milo.
Donna Milo could be president of the Republican Women’s Club of South Florida. But a few years ago, she could have been president of the Republican Men’s Club.
That’s right, big tenters, Donna is the first known transgender Republican candidate for congress.
The Miami Herald has the details:
Donna Milo — a Cuban-American, conservative Republican, transgender woman running for Congress — says she doesn’t like labels.
“I’m an American. I make my way on the basis of ability. My triumphs are based on my abilities, not on a label or a crutch,” said Milo, a Miami Planning Advisory Board member running to replace U.S. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Weston, one of the House’s most liberal Democrats.
Milo, 48, will speak Monday night at Fort Lauderdale City Hall, a guest at the monthly meeting of the Sunshine Republicans club, a conservative group of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender South Floridians.
“Donna is a very unique individual,” Sunshine Republicans President Benjamin Lewis said. “She brings a story with her candidacy. The story is of overcoming obstacles and desires to become the person she has wanted to be.”
Milo has found that her transgender status has enhanced her ability to run for congress in Broward County because she is now able to tell the voters, “Look, no hanging chad.”
While Keith Olbermann was naming Sarah Palin “The Worst Person in the World” and “an idiot”, the ace graphics department at MSNBC misspelled the word “you’re” in an on-screen graphic.
Perhaps that's how they spell "you're" at the pseudo-Ivy League agricultural college Keith Olbermann attended
Ahhh, those rascally radicals at MSNBC. Perhaps they should have spent more of their college careers studying and less time protesting.
While Keith Olbermann was naming Sarah Palin “The Worst Person in the World” and “an idiot”, the ace graphics department at MSNBC misspelled the word “you’re” in an on-screen graphic.
Olbermann: She continued, “I’m glad to be here on the president’s home turf. Somebody told me ‘you know, you’re going into enemy territory. I said it’s Chicago, it’s not MSNBC.’ That woman is an idiot. And the event at which that idiot spoke was sponsored by an Illinois firm that specializes in battery-operated back-up sump pumps. Not just a sump-pump political event: it was a back-up sump-pump political event. Moreover, to put it plainly, and this is a matter of record, that woman does not have the courage, personal or political, to appear on MSNBC. Not without and army with her, and I mean that literally. the half-governor of Alaska now celebrating two years without holding an actual news conference or having the guts to appear on a network like this one. But the toast of America’s back-up sump pump political circuit. Today’s Worst Person in the World.
Let us spell this out for you, Keith. Your a vile human bean.
We have gone over Richard Blumenthal’s resume with the proverbial fine tooth comb and discovered 37 other things this congenital liar claims to have done, but didn’t.
A contrite Richard Blumenthal wonders if he should reveal that he invented Velcro
We now know that Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal didn’t serve in Vietnam. And we also know that he wasn’t captain of the Harvard swim team.
But we have gone over his resume with the proverbial fine tooth comb and discovered 37 other things this congenital liar claims to have done, but didn’t. Such as:
Walk on the moon with Neil Armstrong
Lead the National League in hitting in 1997.
Invent the internet
Cure cancer with the power of his mind
Go faster than a speeding bullet
Coin the phrase “tastes just like chicken!”
Serve as Butterfly McQueen’s stunt double in Gone With the Wind
Hear the sound of clowns “crying on the inside”
Maintain the force of gravity
Save an entire bus full of children using a simple paperclip
A new study of ocean life off the balmy shores of Greenland has discovered 10 species of fish that have never before been seen in the area. And they are some of the ugliest damn fish you’ve ever seen.
A new study of ocean life off the balmy shores of Greenland has discovered 10 species of fish that have never before been seen in the area. And they are some of the ugliest damn fish you’ve ever seen.
The hideous creature above is an Icelandic catshark. This hideous creature is a California liberal.
Naturally, scientists fear that global warming is responsible for attracting these unattractive fish to the area.
National Geographic has the money quote:
“Rising ocean temperatures due to global warming–which could be drawing unfamiliar fishes to the region–and increased deep-sea fishing may be responsible for the spike in fresh fish faces seen off Greenland.”
Can global warming, perhaps, be blamed for the rash of unattractive species recently attracted to Washington, DC?
MSNBC, struggling to show that it’ still relevant, recently ran a story on its website from Newsweek, the magazine that makes the ratings-challenged cable news network seem successful by comparison. The title of the story was “The Importance of Joan Rivers.”
We're not sure if this is Joan Rivers or the Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum version of Joan Rivers. But what's the difference?
MSNBC, struggling to show that it’ still relevant, recently ran a story on its website from Newsweek, the magazine that makes the ratings-challenged cable news network seem successful by comparison. The title of the story was “The Importance of Joan Rivers.”
No. Really. That was the title.
We can only assume that tired of lingering on it’s death bed, Newsweek is seeking to end it all by publishing stories such as “Alvin and the Chipmunks – That’s Entertainment!” That would, of course, would be almost as fascinating as the Joan Rivers story.
The article contains such insights as “The cameras followed Rivers for a year, beginning in mid-2008 when she turned 75, capturing moments of raw honesty often in the same scenes that display huge blind spots. In a limo on the way to a Comedy Central roast, Rivers whines to her assistant, ‘I am so depressed,’ because she’s anticipating the predictable jokes about surgery and aging. So why does she do it? For the money—not exactly a depressing motive. (After all, she has a staff and a gilded, faux-Versailles apartment to maintain.)”
We think that Newsweek may have dropped a 1 from the front of River’s age, but we are only guessing.
No matter what her age, Joan Rivers is barely relevant enough to qualify for a mention on IHateTheMedia. But that does give her a distinct advantage over MSNBC and Newsweek.
If we said, what’s the craziest idea you can think of, it probably wouldn’t be half as crazy as this. The Australian reports the latest details of political correctness run amok.
You see a flock of sheep, but the Pagan Police Association sees a religious holiday
If we said, what’s the craziest idea you can think of, it probably wouldn’t be half as crazy as this.
The Australian reports the latest details of political correctness run amok:
In Britain, the benefits of diversity are apparently boundless. Now that the Pagan Police Association has received government recognition, police officers can take a string of pagan festivals as official holidays.
These include celebrating the festival of lactating sheep, and drinking mead and dancing naked to celebrate the harvest. In court, pagan officers will be allowed to pledge to tell the truth not before God but by what “they hold sacred”…
The Festival of Lactating Sheep. It must be religious because our only reaction is a stunned “Holy friggin’ moly.”
A grammatically incoherent English translation marred Mexican President Felipe Calderon’s arrival ceremony at the White House Wednesday. But we here at IHateTheMedia.com are highly-trained linguists. We were quickly able to see that the official translation was slightly inaccurate and we consider it our public duty to provide you with this revised translation of Calderon’s remarks.
Felipe Calderon greets President Obama by saying, "Pinche puto," which was translated as "Greetings, my good friend"
The Associated Press reports that there was a language barrier or two at the White House when Mexican el Presidente Felipe Calderon spoke on Tuesday:
A halting and grammatically incoherent English translation marred Mexican President Felipe Calderon’s arrival ceremony at the White House Wednesday, rendering his remarks difficult to understand at times. The Mexican delegation blamed its own translator.
Here’s how those comments appeared in the official White House transcript:
“I know that we share the interest in promoting dignified, legal and orderly living conditions to all migrant workers. Many of them, despite their significant contribution to the economy and to the society of the United States, still live in the shadows and, occasionally, as in Arizona, they even face discrimination.”
But we here at IHateTheMedia.com are highly-trained linguists. We were quickly able to see that the official translation was slightly inaccurate and we consider it our public duty to provide you with this revised translation of Calderon’s remarks:
“You are friggin’ fools, America. While we steal billions of pesos from our people, we will continue to send our starving, unemployed peasants across the border so that they can become your problem instead of ours. And if you so much as open your mouths, we will cry racism. By the way, pendejos, we will eventually take back every square inch of land you stole from us. Long live Aztlán.”
As you can see, language barriers are easily overcome. And in that way, they are a lot like barriers along the border.
You can always count on CNN and Rick Sanchez to provide high tech graphics that tell the real story. In this screen cap, Mr. Sanchez shows how the oil leak will screw the Gulf Coast.
You can always count on CNN and Rick Sanchez to provide high tech graphics that tell the real story. In this screen cap, Mr. Sanchez shows how the oil leak will screw the Gulf Coast.
John Kerry does not believe it desirable to have a missile defense system that renders Russian nukes useless.
Democrats would have the American people believe their candidates are geniuses. Why, they’ll have to give up the presidency of Mensa to take on the presidency of the United States.
Like John Kerry, for example. This genius served in Vietnam, but based on his answer to Jim DeMint’s question, one would think he served with the French in their defeat at Dien Bien Phu.
DeMint: Is it not desirable for us to have a missile defense system that renders their threat useless?
Kerry: I don’t personally think so. No.
The clip is short, just nine seconds. Watch it several times. Because you won’t believe Kerry’s answer to Jim DeMint’s question. DeMint certainly can’t believe it.
Either the Right Reverend Jeremiah Wright doesn’t understand the difference between the words figuratively and literally or Barack Obama should immediately be arrested for attempted murder.
This is believed to be the Washington Metro Area Transit Authority bus under which Jeremiah Wright was thrown
Either the Right Reverend Jeremiah Wright doesn’t understand the difference between the words figuratively and literally or Barack Obama should immediately be arrested for attempted murder.
The Associate Press has the deadly details:
In his strongest language to date about the administration’s 2-year-old rift with the Chicago pastor, Wright told a group raising money for African relief that his pleas to release frozen funds for use in earthquake-ravaged Haiti would likely be ignored.
“No one in the Obama administration will respond to me, listen to me, talk to me or read anything that I write to them. I am ‘toxic’ in terms of the Obama administration,” Wright wrote the president of Africa 6000 International earlier this year.
“I am ‘radioactive,’ Sir. When Obama threw me under the bus, he threw me under the bus literally!”
Other than a few tire marks, Wright apparently came through the incident physically unscathed. Unfortunately, Barack Obama came through the incident politically unscathed.
Yup. No such thing as radical Islam. At least that’s what Alan Colmes tried to tell Megyn Kelly. And she was just about as dumbfounded by this surprising announcement as you are.
Yup. No such thing as radical Islam. At least that’s what Alan Colmes tried to tell Megyn Kelly. And she was just about as dumbfounded by this surprising announcement as you are.
Kelly: Alan, why not just say it? The man (Eric Holder) would clearly like to stick a hot poker in his eye than admit that “radical Islam” may have been a factor (in the Times Square attempted bombing). Colmes: Why is Congressman Lamar Smith so insistent that you’ve gotta say these words? Why is he so insistent to use the name of a religion? Kelly: Answer my question. Why would he rather stick a hot poker in his eye than say “radical Islam”? Colmes: Because there’s no such a thing as radical Islam. Kelly: What? Colmes: It is not part of the religion. People are not doing this in the name of true Islam.
In other news, Alan Colmes has announced that there’s no such thing as believing your own eyes.
We’re eagerly awaiting a press release from PETA supporting Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law and condemning cockfighting and another press release from the ACLU supporting the law and condemning the weapons.
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio recently rounded up a bunch of illegal aliens and charged them with cockfighting and possession of illegal weapons.
So now we’re eagerly awaiting a press release from PETA supporting Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law and condemning cockfighting and another press release from the ACLU supporting the law and condemning the weapons.
Apparently the cost of housing 20,000 California felons is a lot higher than just giving them bus tickets home and letting them run wild. That’s why the people of Pasadena are being called upon to “welcome released convicts back home”. And not just released convicts, but convicts with “non-revocable parole”.
To heck with those pesky, energy-sapping escape plans
Apparently the cost of housing 20,000 California felons is a lot higher than just giving them bus tickets home and letting them run wild.
That’s why the people of Pasadena are being called upon to “welcome released convicts back home.” And not just released convicts, but convicts with “non-revocable parole.”
In legal speak, these fine, upstanding citizens “cannot be returned to prison for parole violations.” We’re sure they thought this through and everything will be fine.
From the Pasadena Star News:
As the state begins releasing tens of thousands of inmates from state prison without traditional parole supervision, police and community leaders in Pasadena are urging residents to welcome released convicts back home.
California Department of Corrections District Administrator Maria Franco said. Under the new status, the parolees cannot be returned to prison for parole violations and must be charged with a new crime to be re-arrested.
“The process will eliminate those individuals from supervision,” California Department of Corrections District Administrator Michelle Woods said.
Pasadena residents are encouraged “to welcome and accept new residents being released from prison and to help provide them with opportunities to work, deal with substance abuse problems and otherwise lead productive, positive lives in the city.”
Perfect timing. From what we hear, there are quite a few census worker positions open and these guys have all the necessary qualifications.
School dress codes aren’t that unusual, you might say. So why have we bothered telling you about this one? Because the code is aimed at teachers, not students.
Miss Smithers, a high school English teacher, demonstrates a violation of the new Manchester, New Hampshire teacher dress code
The Manchester, New Hampshire school committee voted 11-1 Saturday to enact a strict new dress code for that bans 15 clothing items. Anyone who violates the dress could face disciplinary action.
School dress codes aren’t that unusual, you might say. So why have we bothered telling you about this one? Because the code is aimed at teachers, not students.
Here are the articles of clothing that have been banned:
Jeans
T-shirts that have writing, pictures or are considered underwear
Tank tops
Shorts
Sweats, wind suits and gym clothes
Spandex
Flip-flops
Sneakers
Tops that are low-cut, cropped, tube or have spaghetti straps
Sheer clothing
Short skirts that are more than 2 inches above the knee
Skirts with front slits more than 2 inches above the knee
Clothes with holes
Pajamas
Facial piercings
We can only assume that those dedicated teachers who wore pajamas to school were simply attempting to bring efficiency to the act of sleeping with their students.
Oh, my god. Get this guy a teleprompter. Stat. “Obviously,” President Obama said, “the loss of Daniel Pearl was one of those moments that captured the world’s imagination because it reminded us of how valuable a free press is.”
Oh, my god. Get this guy a teleprompter. Stat.
“Obviously,” President Obama said, “the loss of Daniel Pearl was one of those moments that captured the world’s imagination because it reminded us of how valuable a free press is.”
Horrified the world? Disgusted the world? Exposed the cruel reality of Muslim extremists? Anything but “captured the world’s imagination.”
Chris Matthews was unhappy on Monday night. Very, very angry. And the oil industry was the target of his anger. “Why doesn’t the President go in there, nationalize an industry and get the job done for the people?” the MSNBC host ranted.
Chris Matthews was unhappy on Monday night. Very, very angry. And the oil industry was the target of his anger.
“Why doesn’t the President go in there, nationalize an industry and get the job done for the people?” the MSNBC host ranted.
But that wasn’t enough. He also wants to follow China’s example and execute the people responsible for the oil spill. “They execute people for this. Major industrial leaders that commit crimes like this.”
And while he was on a roll, he took aim at capitalism: “Everybody says ‘Capitalism is great. Unbridled free enterprise is great. Look at it! This is great, isn’t it?'”
Now can we please put to rest any doubts that Chris Matthews is a socialist? Please?
President Obama’s finger pointing is usually done with his middle finger. The photo montage at the top of this story illustrates a few examples of the President’s digital dexterity. These thoughtful gestures typically occur when a political opponent is scoring points against his policies.
President Obama is mad. Spitting mad. One might even say irate. And it’s all because he hates finger pointing. Hates it with a passion he normally reserves for bankers, Wall Street moguls, doctors, the insurance industry, auto company executives, taxpayers, Christianisty, patriotism and, of course, capitalism in general.
To no one’s surprise, President Obama’s illegal alien aunt Zeituni Onyango has been granted political asylum. But to almost everyone’s surprise, she now looks and dresses exactly like Michael Jackson.
Obama's Auntie Zeituni has been magically transformed into Michael Jackson
To no one’s surprise, President Obama’s illegal alien aunt Zeituni Onyango has been granted political asylum. But to almost everyone’s surprise, she now looks and dresses exactly like Michael Jackson.
The New York Times reports the story of her new immigration status, but completely ignores the Michael Jackson transformation:
An immigration judge has granted asylum to President Obama’s aunt and will allow her to stay in the United States, her lawyers said Monday. She could become a citizen in about six years.
Zeituni Onyango, 57, who lives in public housing in Boston, is the half-sister of Mr. Obama’s late father and is from Kenya. She moved to the United States in 2000 on a valid visa and has been seeking asylum since 2002.
Judge Leonard Shapiro, an immigration judge in Boston, reached his decision in the long-running case on Friday. Her lawyers announced the decision Monday at their offices in Cleveland.
Ms. Onyango applied for asylum in 2002 and was rejected in 2004 and ordered to leave the country. She continued to fight the case and in April 2009, Judge Leonard Shapiro in Boston stayed her case until February, when hearings were held in the case.
Ms. Onyango had lived in relative anonymity in Boston until just before the 2008 presidential election, when The Times of London found her in what it described as “rundown public housing.”
Coincidentally, Zeituni’s nephew Barack had also been living in relative anonymity until just before the 2008 presidential election. He is also now living in public housing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but the conditions are considerably less run-down.
It’s no secret that CNN is rapidly losing viewers. They often finish in fourth and even fifth place in the cable news ratings and, appropriately enough, rank right down there with the Cartoon Network. But now…
It’s no secret that CNN is rapidly losing viewers. They often finish in fourth and even fifth place in the cable news ratings and, appropriately enough, rank right down there with the Cartoon Network.
But now Compete.com and CNN Political Bias report that CNN’s loss of viewers is minimal compared to the loss of visitors to CNN.com. The website has shed more than 7,000,000 unique visitors in just the last eight months.
Fewer eyeballs on the television. Fewer eyeballs on the website.
World’s largest bumper sticker makes big anti-obama statement. Shot on the streets of Longview, Texas. Don’t you think this guy could make a small fortune selling these stickers?
Shot on the streets of Longview, Texas. Don’t you think this guy could make a small fortune selling these stickers?
