Category: Newspaper

NY Times flushes away its credibility, says to use crappy toilet paper

new-york-times-toilet-paperEvery day, 365 days a year, the New York Times cranks out more than one million copies of shoddy reportage also known as a newspaper. Entire forest have given their lives so that the New York Times might live lie.

But that doesn’t keep them from chastising Americans for flushing toilet paper down the drain.

In an article called “What Mr. Whipple Didn’t Say: Softer Paper Is Costly to Forests,” the Times reveals that Americans like their bathroom tissue thick, silky and soft as a baby’s bottom (so to speak).

In their view, this makes you a bad person because millions of trees get wiped out just so you can wipe up. If you were simply willing to do your duty with, say, a dried-out old corn cob or a recycled Audi, those trees could grow up, get married, go to law school and live long, happy productive lives.

Don’t take this sitting down. Begin recycling the New York Times by using it as toilet paper.

You might even say that if you get behind the New York Times, the New York Times will get behind you. If you know what we mean.

Source: New York Times

An IHTM Editorial:
Debunked: Porn in the USA, Conservatives are biggest consumers

porn-pixelated-left


Hating the media is our reason for living. And we think intentionally misleading news stories are almost as pornographic as pornography. Like the one ABC News ran the other night.

At IHateTheMedia.com, we admit right up front that what we do is commentary. On a good day, mildly amusing commentary. We would never call ourselves a news organization, and after this so-called news report, maybe ABC News shouldn’t either. “Porn in the USA: Conservatives Are Biggest Consumers,” ABC’s report, said “Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious.”

The background

According to a study (view PDF) conducted by Benjamin Edelman of the Harvard Business School, there’s very little difference between porn consumption in red states and blue states. In fact, Edelman concludes that “When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different…The differences here are not so stark.”

Unfortunately, ABC started its report by stating a starkly contrary conclusion, then went off on a circuitous safari in search of data to support it. In reality, there’s absolutely nothing in the study to support ABC’s flimsy conclusion that conservatives consume more porn than liberals, because there’s nothing in the study that asked the respondents if they were conservative or liberal. Nothing.

But above and beyond ABC’s outrageous claims, we believe the study itself has serious problems. Continue reading “An IHTM Editorial:
Debunked: Porn in the USA, Conservatives are biggest consumers”

Taliban beheads “US spy”
as “gift to Obama”

"We'll leave the truly hideous nature of this photograph to your imagination."
We'll leave the truly hideous nature of this photograph to your imagination.

Why isn’t this story the headline on every newspaper? Why isn’t it leading off every newscast? Why is it not even considered newsworthy?

According to local Pakistani police, Taliban militants beheaded an Afghan citizen after accusing him of spying for the United States. The man was kidnapped a week ago and his body was discovered Thursday in North Waziristan.

“He was slaughtered overnight. His headless body was put on the roadside,” police official Munir Khan said.

A note found on the man’s body said “Whoever spies for the US will face the same fate. This is a gift to (US President Barack) Obama.”

“See how much the world loves us,” an Obama spokesman somewhere likely said. “They’re already giving us gifts.”

Source: AFP

Porn to be wild: Octuplet mom lands in middle of a bidding war

nadya suleman fourteen children under the age of eight and an IQ to match.
Fourteen children under the age of eight and an IQ to match.

Nadya Suleman, mother of the California octuplets born last month, has landed smack dab in the middle of a public relations feud between rival porn producers.

One adult film producer has offered Suleman $1 million plus free health insurance to star in one of his porn productions.

In response, another porn producer offered Suleman a year’s supply of diapers if she turns down the first offer. Kim Kysar, manager of the second company, said the company’s offer demonstrated its “social responsibility”.

“It simply isn’t in your best interest, and more importantly, in the best interest of your children, for you to become a porn star,” Kysar said in a letter. “As you know, there’s a great deal of stigma attached to being a porn star. It’s not something that a mother should take lightly, as this decision will most assuredly affect the lives of your children, and not in a positive way.”

“I have to go now,” Kysar then thought to himself. “I have some socially responsible naked women greased up in the next room and the socially responsible cameras are ready to roll.”

Source: Sydney Morning Herald

Why did the Washington Post censor today’s Doonesbury comic strip?

Many times over the years, newspapers have chosen not to run Doonesbury comic strips for one reason or another. Creator Garry Trudeau often focuses on topics that editors and readers find offensive.

Today, the Washington Post was so offended that it refused to run the strip. What was the topic they found so offensive? Was it sex? Drugs? Crude language? No, the topic was the recent layoffs at the Washington Post. Instead, they ran a “Doonesbury Flashback” strip–a rerun.

So much for the WaPo, that vaunted bastion of free speech and truth.

The real question, though, should be, why does any newspaper still run Doonesbury? It hasn’t been funny in at least 35 years. It’s the Janeane Garafalo of comic strips.

Here, thanks to MediaBistro, is today’s censored strip.

 

Reporter fired for his inappropriately exposing his bright blue scrotum

<b>This is definitely not Attorney General Eric Holder.</b>
This is definitely not Attorney General Eric Holder.

A Baltimore television reporter has been fired for creating the infamous John Gibson “bright blue scrotum” video.

In the doctored video, comments Gibson made on Fox News about an escaped monkey were cut together with completely unrelated comments he made about U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder.

WBAL-TV, an NBC affiliate, admitted that one of its former employee had posted the video on YouTube without its knowledge. Other media outlets revealed that the WBAL reporter responsible for the doctored video had been fired.

This seems unfair to us. What color is the attorney general’s scrotum? Do we know for sure it’s not bright blue? This is the man who has sworn to uphold the law of the land. Before the reporter is fired, shouldn’t Holder be required to produce the evidence?

Press ignores UN admission that Israel never shelled school in Gaza

israel_flag1This is one of those stories the media never covers. And one of the reasons we hate them.

During the recent Gaza conflict, it was widely reported that Israel Defense Forces had bombed a U.N. school in the Jabalya refugee camp. This led activists to accuse Israel of war crimes and U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon to demand an investigation.

Now the U.N. reports that “a clerical error” led them to falsely accuse Israel of the attack. The international organization’s January 6 field report said an IDF shell had caused fatalities when it hit outside the school, but an updated field report dated January 7 said the shell hit the school itself.

U.N. spokesperson Roseanne Roseannadanna said, “Oops. Never mind.”

Funny how coverage is so much spottier when it comes to retractions. Especially when it involves Israel.

Minneapolis newspaper supports unions. Unless it’s their workers’ union.

support_unions_stickerThe Minneapolis Star Tribune loves the working class. They love big labor. Until it comes to its own workers and their union.

The struggling Star-Trib wants a bankruptcy court to void its contract with the printer’s union so the newspaper can save $3.5 million a year in labor costs.

In a written statement, the Star-Tribune’s management said, “Yes, we are hypocritical boneheads whose political philosophy has guided us to the verge of bankruptcy. We humbly apologize for all the poorly conceived pro-labor editorials we’ve written over the years.”

To be entirely truthful, the Star-Tribune didn’t really say anything remotely resembling that previous paragraph.

But don’t you think they should have?

National Association for the Advancement of Colored People shows its true colors

post_cartoonThe NAACP has called for a boycott of the New York Post. In other words, they’ve endorsed censorship.

In a truly bizarre distortion of reality, the organization called the Post’s infamous chimpanzee cartoon “an invitation to assassinate” President Obama.

Benjamin Todd Jealous, the aptly-named president of the NAACP, called for the removal of editor Col Allan and long-time cartoonist Sean Delonas.

Earlier this week, the newspaper apologized to anyone who may have been offended by the cartoon. But the NAACP says the apology was insufficient and called for readers to boycott the Post.

This is like looking at clouds. I look at one and see a cute little bunny. You look at the same cloud and see the violent, Lee Harvey Oswald of chimpanzees.

In the immortal words of Mick Jagger, “Hey, you, get off of my cloud.”

Source: AP

MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell run over by steamroller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAytq2Dh_SwOuch. Norah O’Donnell never saw it coming. It’s been hours now and she’s probably still woozy after the figurative beating she took from documentary maker John Ziegler.

Ziegler’s out promoting “Media Malpractice,” his new documentary, by making the rounds of all the news and talk shows. Today was MSNBC’s turn.

Based on the smug smile on O’Donnell’s face when the interview started, she though Ziegler was going to be easy pickings. She was wrong.

The former talk show host immediately went on the attack. He repeatedly and pointedly made her look like the empty-headed news babe she is (and by the way, politics aside, Norah O’Donnell is a babe).

Ziegler clearly enjoyed every moment of this interview. Norah, not so much.

For the Media Malpractice documentary, go here.

Al Sharpton goes ape over cartoon chimp

dead_monkey_cartoonNo issue can be considered truly trivial until Reverend Al Sharpton tosses in his two cents.

Now the irascible old racemonger complains that a New York Post cartoon links President Obama to a violent chimpanzee. He deems it “troubling at best,” “offensive,” and “divisive.”

The cartoon shows a bullet-ridden chimpanzee and two cops. One of the cops is holding a smoking gun. The other one says, “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”

The cartoon is an obvious reference to the chimpanzee that was shot and killed by Stamford, Connecticut police on Monday after it mauled a woman.

The latest news reports say the chimp often ate steak and lobster for dinner, then shared a nightly cocktail with his owner before cuddling in bed with her.

Sharpton’s way off base on this one. Looks like an obvious Bill Clinton reference to us.

Time Magazine tells newspapers how to survive, ignores its own problems

time_cover_save_newspaperThere was a frequently-recurring scene in old TV show “Kung Fu” where Master Po would dispense the mystical wisdom of the ages to “Young Grasshopper.”

That may have been the inspiration for the article “How to Save Your Newspaper” in the current issue of Time in which the magazine graciously advises the newspaper industry how to get its head out of its collective butt.

We consider it almost zen-like that Time is able to solve problems for others from which they themselves suffer. Kind of like Master Po and Little Grasshopper.

You see, Time’s circulation hovered around the 4.0 million mark for the last decade, but precipitously plunged to just 3.4 million in 2007. As of June, 2008 the magazine’s base circulation sits at just 3,250,000. They’ve also discontinued publication of its 60-year old Canadian edition.

We’d like to dispense a little zen-like advice to Time. But we’re a little busy here with our in-depth analysis of international events.

It’s the Turkish version of the Fairness Doctrine

flag_of_turkeyThe Turkish government has escalated its war on the free press to a new level by imposing a $500,000,000 fine on the Dogan Media Group, a Turkish publishing company. Dogan says it will fight the fine in court.

The Turkish Journalists’ Society has objected to the fine and called it a dangerous way to silence press outlets that criticize the government.

“Mr. Prime Minister’s anger caused by the news stories he disliked,” said a TGC statement, “has turned into a concrete attempt to silence (media) with the extremely high tax levy imposed on the Dogan Media Group.”

We know we have readers in Turkey, so rest assured that we’re watching our P’s and Q’s. A half a billion dollar fine could put quite a dent in our petty cash.

Source: Associated Press

Judging panel tries to abort little girl’s abortion speech

Here’s another reason we hate the media.

This YouTube video has been viewed by nearly 265,000 people since February 3, 2009. Yet according to a Google News Search, the story’s been covered by just one newspaper.

Lia, a 12-year-old Toronto girl, has become an internet sensation since her mom posted this video. It shows Lia delivering a five-minute pro-life speech in a school competition.

Before the competition began, she was told she wouldn’t be allowed to compete unless she changed the topic of her speech. Despite hostility from the judges, her speech was so outstanding that she won the competition. Sadly, she was later disqualified because the subject of her speech was too “controversial.”

If you hate the media, you’ll love the speech. No matter what your position on abortion may be.

Al Sharpton is a moron. Oh, wait, that’s not news.

bush_chimpReverend Al Sharpton if offended, horrified, and absolutely disgusted that a New York Post political cartoon compared – in his mind – Barack Obama to a monkey. And that comparison is RACIST.

Seemed to us that we’d seen numerous cartoons and PhotoShopped images comparing former President Bush to monkeys. So we did a few Google Image searches.

“Bush” and “simian” generated 38,000 images. “Bush” and “baboon” got 46,300. “Bush” and “orangutan” got 48,800. “Bush” and “chimpanzee” got 132,000. “Bush” and “ape” got 170,000. “Bush” and “chimp” got 182,000. “Bush” and “gorilla” got 356,000. “Bush” and “monkey” got 1,220,000.

Hard as this may be to believe, we can’t recall the good Reverend ever coming to President Bush’s defense and declaring these images racist.

We were going to end this by calling Sharpton an ignorant baboon. But we didn’t want to insult the baboon.

Murderous monkey ends up on top of beheaded woman.

chimp_attack_buffalo_beheading_results

(IHateTheMedia.com Exclusive) We’re professional cynics at IHateTheMedia.com. We’re trained to expect the worst from the media. With that in mind, it seemed to us that the media had paid far more attention to the trivial story of Connecticut’s murderous monkey than the lightning rod story of Buffalo’s beheaded Muslim wife.

Is it possible, we wondered, that the media would intentionally ignore the kind of shocking crime story they normally love, simply because focusing on a murderous Muslim is politically incorrect in the land of liberal news?

So we performed a simple experiment. We searched Google News for both stories. Here, unfortunately, is what we found:

The monkey scored a whopping 2,943 articles in the two days since it occurred. But the far more important story of the Muslim TV executive who decapitated his wife in an “honor killing” racked up a meager 990 articles over six days.

It appears that most major media outlets completely ignored the latter story for several days and then neglected to mention “honor killing” aspect of the story when they finally did report it.

Is this a case of political correctness run amok or just another example of the media’s tendency to glorify the truly trivial? You be the judge.

Either way, it’s a frightening condemnation of the state of journalism in 2009.

Octuplets’ PR agency aborts relationship

A Brentwood, California public relations agency has walked out on octuplets mom Nadya Suleman because its owners feared for their lives.

Joann Killeen, president of Killeen Furtney Group, says threatening emails and phone calls began flooding her firm as soon as its connection to Suleman was made public.

“They hope I die, they hope my business goes under, they want to rip her uterus out,” Killeen said. “They say I should be anesthetized and put down like a dog.”

The website Killeen created for Suleman received 55,000 e-mails, most of them negative. She also has piles of angry letters.

You might say Suleman’s litter was literally littered with problems.

Obama team hiring journalists fast as they can be laid off

The newspaper business may be dying, but journalists’ careers are being reincarnated by the Obama administration.

The latest is the Chicago Tribune’s Jill Zuckman. She’s hooking up with the administration as Director of Public Affairs at the Department of Transportation. Peter Gosselin, one of her coworkers at the Trib, recently hired on as chief speech writer for Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. Time Magazine’s Jay Carney is now Joe Biden’s communications director. CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta is rumored to be in the running for Surgeon General.

Many conservatives fear this intentional blurring of the lines between impartial journalism and partisan politics.

(Hey, who picked up the mail today? Did anyone notice if our job offer came in yet?)

Why is that innocent Palestinian “medic” packing a Kalashnikov assault rifle?

naimThe number of civilians killed in the recent Gaza conflict is dropping almost as fast as Hamas’ credibility.

During the conflict, the Palestinian Authority wailed that Israel was slaughtering thousands of innocent civilians. One of them was supposedly an “innocent” medic named Naim. And the international press dutifully reported every word as truth.

“Following the clashes,” the Israel Defense Force announced, “the Palestinian press reported that Naim was killed and that he was a medic with the Palestinian Red Crescent. The Gaza CLA, however, produced photographs of Naim posing holding a rocket-propelled grenade launcher and Continue reading “Why is that innocent Palestinian “medic” packing a Kalashnikov assault rifle?”

Jim Cramer says N.Y.T. = B.S.

Taking financial advice from the New York Times is like taking health tips from Dr. Kevorkian. That’s why you have to take the financially shaky newspaper’s assessment of the “stimulus” plan with a grain of salt. Maybe a block of salt.

CNBC’s Jim Cramer thinks it’s so bad and that the New York Times coverage of the bill is so deceitful that went on one of his trademark rants while discussing it.

“Now if you were to believe what’s in the papers, holy cow, except for the funny papers,” Cramer said, “you would think this package was wonderful.”

“Look at the front page of The New York Times today,” he continued. “I love this one. ‘Measuring a Victory’ by this guy, Stevenson…it’s like a comedy routine. ‘It is a quick, sweet victory for the new president and potentially a historic one.’ Who edits this B.S.?”

Cramer went on to carve the “stimulus” package up like a plump Thanksgiving turkey.

And that is what’s known in literary circles as an apt metaphor. Or maybe it’s an apt simile. Or one of those other literary things.

Story of Buffalo beheading has no legs

Three days ago in Buffalo, NY, Muzzammil Hassan sawed the head off his wife Aasiya Hassan — we’re going to say it — Islamofascist-style in a gift to the press that’s normally insatiable for this type of story. Ironically, Mr. Hassan is the founder of Bridges TV network, formed to improve the image of Muslim-Americans in the U.S. So where’s the story?

Conservative commentators knew there would be just token press, and they were proven right. If it were a Christian (or any non-media-protected group), it would have been all over television and print media. But, just three days out, and we see that not only does the poor wife no longer have a head, but the story has no legs. Continue reading “Story of Buffalo beheading has no legs”

New York Times attempts to bail out the bail-out expert

Here’s all the evidence you need – if you still needed any — to convince yourself that the New York Times sees the world differently than you do.

After the stock market dropped nearly 400 points upon hearing Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner’s vague outline of his “stimulus” plan, The Times seemed to blame the decline on television’s talking heads.

“Initial reviews for the man and his plan were not good, however. Stock markets slid through the day, perhaps spurred downward by withering punditry on the business-news cable channels faulting Mr. Geithner for not providing more details, particularly on stemming home foreclosures. Senators of both parties lodged similar complaints at a hearing.”

Next week the Times has scheduled an article blaming Captain Sullenberger for running into those poor geese.

The second funniest commentary on the internet

We’ve never met Tim Blair but we read his blog. You should, too. He’s a columnist for the Sydney Daily Telegraph. Yes, that Sydney. The one with kangaroos and prisoners way down there on the other side of the world.

With all the humility we can muster, we say Tim’s the second funniest commentator on the web. Here are a couple of his recent comments:

PRESIDENT DOESN’T CARE. At least 42 people are dead and possibly one million are without power and water – while their President hosts cocktail parties and watches the Superbowl. Bush has really blown it this time. The media will tear him apart.

UPDATE. Apparently Bush is no longer President. It’s some new guy instead. Boy, is he ever in trouble!

HEY, AT LEAST HE DELIVERED CHANGE. Letter in the February edition of Viz: “I don’t know why everyone is so pleased about America getting a black president. Zimbabwe has had one for years and he’s s**t.”

Check Tim out. Bookmark his blog.

Me(d)ia (d)eclines to i(d)entify (d)emocrat scan(d)als

elephant_donkeyLamar Smith, ranking member of the House Judiciary Committee, strode purposely to the floor of the House of Representatives yesterday to discuss the elephant in the room. And the donkey that isn’t.

“The national media spells scandal without the ‘D,'” Smith roared during the one-minute daily speech allotted every member of the House.

“Two weeks ago the Governor of Illinois was removed from office,” he said. “All three television networks ran full reports on the story the same night and again the following morning. Not one report mentioned that he is a Democrat.”

To reinforce his point, Smith noted that the major media also failed to identify the party affiliation of troubled Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon, jailed Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, and ousted New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer.

“Americans need and deserve balanced reporting from the media, not selective omissions,” Smith added.

We completely agree with Smith. So let us point out to you that he is a Texas Republican.

The clouds have parted: NY Times says victory possible in Iraq 


After beating the drum of defeat for the last six years, the New York Times has reconsidered. After countless articles filled with words like lost cause…civil war…boondoggle…hopeless…Vietnam…quagmire… the Times has finally seen the obvious.

“This is what victory in the war in Iraq was supposed to look like,” said an article called America’s Scorecard in Iraq.” “Fifteen million Iraqis voting in free and fair (largely) elections, emerging from their polling stations with their purple-stained fingers in an atmosphere that was free (largely) of intimidation or violence.”

In other news, the Times announced that it foresees an imminent victory over Japan in World War II.

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