Oscar is a commie, homo-lovin’ son of a gun. And we’re just getting started.

photo credit: Flickr's glass window
photo credit: Flickr's glass window

Sean Penn won the Best Actor award Sunday night for his portrayal of Harvey Milk, America’s first openly gay elected politician.

In accepting his award, Penn gleefully described the Academy voters as “commie, homo-loving sons of guns.” He also criticized California’s voters for their ban on gay marriage.

But let’s not forget what else Sean Penn is. He’s also a Hugo Chavez-ACLU-Mahmoud Ahmadinejad-Cindy Sheehan-Dennis Kucinich-Ralph Nader-Fidel Castro lovin’ son of a gun. He’s supported every anti-American tin horn dictator, politician and policy that’s come down the left side of the road in the last twenty-five years.

We’d like to thank the Academy. For bringing Sean Penn up on stage every few years just to remind us just how anti-American Hollywood can be.

Santelli vs. Gibbs. Let’s settle it with a duel at dawn.

Last week we witnessed the sad spectacle of the president’s press secretary attacking Rick Santelli, a reporter who made the mistake of disagreeing with part of the president’s “stimulus” plan.

“This is a copy of the President’s home affordability plan,” Gibbs drawled. “It’s available on the White House web site, and I would encourage him (to) download it. Hit print, and begin to read it.

Santelli responded in an interview with Larry Kudlow. And he responded with all the passion of his earlier comments.

“The 92% of the Americans that are paying their loan on time,” Santelli said, “do you think there’s no pain there? These people are probably cutting back, their 401(k)s are down. It’s tough. Just because they’re making their payment and they’re current, doesn’t mean they’re not cutting back as well.

“Do we want to teach our children that you can get out of a mistake and that there are do-overs?” he asked. “I just don’t think that’s American. And I read it and guess what? I still don’t like it.”

We don’t know what Robert Gibbs wants to teach his children. But we’d suggest he use part of his substantial salary to hire them a math tutor so they don’t end up as bad with numbers as their old man.

Time Magazine tells newspapers how to survive, ignores its own problems

time_cover_save_newspaperThere was a frequently-recurring scene in old TV show “Kung Fu” where Master Po would dispense the mystical wisdom of the ages to “Young Grasshopper.”

That may have been the inspiration for the article “How to Save Your Newspaper” in the current issue of Time in which the magazine graciously advises the newspaper industry how to get its head out of its collective butt.

We consider it almost zen-like that Time is able to solve problems for others from which they themselves suffer. Kind of like Master Po and Little Grasshopper.

You see, Time’s circulation hovered around the 4.0 million mark for the last decade, but precipitously plunged to just 3.4 million in 2007. As of June, 2008 the magazine’s base circulation sits at just 3,250,000. They’ve also discontinued publication of its 60-year old Canadian edition.

We’d like to dispense a little zen-like advice to Time. But we’re a little busy here with our in-depth analysis of international events.

Farrah Fawcett flap over famous foto

farrah fawcettFarrah Fawcett. Red bathing suit. Blonde hair. More teeth than is anatomically possible. Oooooh, that poster.

Fawcett is now suing the pants off Bio-Graphics Inc., Pie International Inc. and T.N. Trikilis, accusing them of claiming they own exclusive rights to the photo, reproducing it and selling it. She’s demanding $100,000.

Fawcett swears up and down that she “owns and possesses all the photographs and negatives of all the photographs taken at the photo shoot.”



We’re showing you the poster in question, knowing full well that it’s virtually impossible for any man who grew up in the 70s to wipe it from his memory. Even if he wanted to.

Religious leader Al Sharpton being followed by the IRS

budweiserWe may just run this same story every week and just change the name of the Democrat tax dodger. This week’s criminal is Al Sharpton. Excuse us, the Reverend Al Sharpton.

The Internal Revenue Service has issued subpoenas to Sharpton’s largest corporate donors. They say Sharpton, his various businesses and non-profit groups owe millions in back taxes.

Brewer Anheuser-Busch has received a subpoena as part of the IRS’ investigation of Sharpton’s National Action Network. The corporation admits that it “donated” between $100,000 and $499,000 to the group in 2007. Sources say other large corporate donors will also be subpoenaed.

As you would expect, the oft-indignant Sharpton called the subpoenas a “fishing expedition.”

Hey, Reverend Al, which commandment is it that says, “Thou shalt not pay thine taxes?” Is it the eleventh or fourteenth?

Salman Rushdie issues fatwah against Slumdog Millionaire

salman-rushdieOne would think a novelist would understand the concept of “creative license.” But not Salman Rushdie. He’s offended that Slumdog Millionaire contains scenes that (gasp) aren’t realistic.

The Indian-born author recently told an audience at Atlanta’s Emory University that the Academy Award-winning film “piles impossibility on impossibility.”

Rushdie, who gained more fame for hiding than he ever did for writing, spent years cowering in a closet after Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini issued a fatwah against him in 1989.

The author of “The Satanic Verses” was in a tizzy that the “Slumdog Millionaire” scene at the Taj Mahal is, in reality, more than 1,000 miles from where the previous scene took place.

Why stop there, Salman? How about the fact that “The Wrestler” showed Mickey Rourke with an attractive woman, “Benjamin Button” aged in reverse, and “Milk” depicted Sean Penn as rational.

Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Detroit introduces the 2009 Rosie — another fat, bloated, overpriced model no one wants

rosie o'donnellIt’s no wonder Detroit is having a love affair with Rosie O’Donnell. She’s exactly what they specialize in – products that are fat, bloated, overpriced, and with very little demand.

The angry “actress” just finished shooting a cable TV movie in Detroit. And she wants to come back again. She told the Detroit Free Press that “whatever movie we do next, we’re going to do there.” O’Donnell says she’s so touched by Detroit’s economic problems that she bought a Buick.

The movie focuses on a 17-year-old named America, who’s been bouncing around the foster care system since most of her life. O’Donnell plays his doctor.

Rosie, Rosie, Rosie. You make millions of dollars a year. If you really feel so strongly about Detroit’s problems, you should have sprung for a Cadillac.

John Gibson: Huffington Post better lawyer up!

John Gibson has come out firing against everyone involved in creating, posting and circulating the now infamous, doctored audio clip that leads listeners to believe Gibson had attributed the “bright blue scrotum” of an escaped monkey to Attorney General Eric Holder.

“Nobody, nobody involved in this should rest easy right now,” Gibson said. “Hearst Argyle, the multi-billion dollar television ownership group, whose employee John Sanders actually created the fake tape, Arrianna Huffington whose Huffington Post passed the fake quote on to the rest of the world, TVNewswer, the TV industry gossip blog, which also acted as a conduit–they all should think about lawyering up. I am not done with this.”

Update: We just found this interview from last Friday’s Breibart.TV’s “B-Cast ‘Anatomy of a Smear’: How the ‘Doctored’ John Gibson Audio Was Revealed.” In this video, the hosts are joined by Johnny Dollar (of Johnny Dollar’s Place) and Steve Krakaeur (of TV Newser). Plus they featured their extended interview with the TV reporter who ‘doctored’ the audio on his John Gibson YouTube post.

Oscar crisis: They’ve run out of colors for red carpet ribbons

whiteknot250x250Last night at the Oscars, they broke out white “knots” in support of gay marriage.

We can only assume that’s because white ribbons had already been used by too many other causes — safe motherhood, awareness of violence against women, teen pregnancy, and a host of others.

The fact is, there’s a colored ribbon crisis in Hollywood. Ever since this fad started with yellow ribbons for the Iran hostages, we’ve seen colored ribbon after colored ribbon supporting one cause after another. How are we supposed to know what cause they want us to support if each color supports multiple causes?

Are those black ribbons for the death of princess Diana, victims of Hurrricane Katrina, or melanoma awareness?

Are those blue ribbons for child abuse or prostrate cancer?

Do the green ribbons support for environmental causes or farm families?

And the purple ribbons. Are they for Alzheimer’s or epilepsy?

But here’s one thing we do know: The stars should have been wearing black-and-blue ribbons to support Rihanna.

How to spend blow $1,000,000,000,000

We’re pretty macho guys at IHTM, but this exchange scares the hell out of us.

Ranking House minority member Dave Camp (R-Michigan) quizzed Thomas Barthold, expert witness and Acting Chief of Staff, Joint Committee on Taxation, asking what benefits we’d get from the $1,000,000,000,000 stimulus bill.

Camp: Can you tell me, Mr. Barthold, how many jobs will be created as a result of this legislation?

Barthold: (gulps) Well, in short, Mr. Camp, uh…uh…I can’t.

Camp: So we don’t have an estimate on the number of jobs this would create, either private sector or public. We don’t have any estimate of the economic effect that this legislation might have on our economy, whether it would even create any growth in our economy at all. We don’t have that data before the committee today.

Barthold: (gulps, nods yes and shrugs)

Barthold’s “answers” made us weak in the knees. But contrary to rumors, we did not get the vapors. Not even close.

Bill Maher’s going to have trouble finding a stockbroker

Has anyone with his own network TV show ever been unfunnier than Bill Maher? OK, maybe Bill Moyers. But we’d call it a toss-up.

Maher’s 2009 HBO show just premiered on Friday night. But he’s already in mid-season form when it comes to unfunny. He ended the season-opener with this suggestion:

“If we killed two random, rich greedy pigs, blew them up at halftime at next year’s Super Bowl, or left them hanging on the big board at the New York Stock Exchange — you know, as a warning, with their balls in their mouths — I think it would really make everyone else sit up and take notice.”

Tom Cruise heard what Maher said and expressed interest in becoming a stockbroker until Katie Holmes told him Maher was only speaking figuratively.

Ahmadinejad introduces Iranian Fairness Doctrine

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and those fun-loving Iranian mullahs have re-introduced the Fairness Doctrine in Iran by blocking access to several websites promoting reformist presidential candidate Mohammed Khatami.

Reformists say the move is an attempt by the powerful hard-liners to silence Khatami and weaken his challenge to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the upcoming elections.

Khatami, who tried to open dialogue with the West during his eight years as president, believes his sites are being censored because his candidacy poses a serious threat to the increasingly unpopular Ahmadinejad.

“Censorship? That’s nonsense,” a spokesman for the mullahs said. “We’re just trying to assure that a wide variety of approved voices are heard. And, of course, that divisive moderate voices aren’t heard.”

Via InfidelsAreCool

Follow our Academy Awards “commentary” on Twitter

We hate to watch the Academy Awards tonight. But we have to, it’s our job. We know many of you won’t be, but if you are following us our Twitter page we’ll let you know of all the idiotic things the self-absorbed actors and actresses have to say.

Ah look, Barbara Walters just got Mickey Rourke all teary-eyed. Her first to fall victim to her tonight.

MSNBC to bolster its line-up with another unknown, unsuccessful talk show host

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0RCJdjUfO4Add a dollop of dementia. A pinch of paranoia. A smidgeon of socialism. Mix it all together into an ideological olio and half-bake at 450 degrees. Voila! You have the next MSNBC primetime host.

Ever since news got out that MSNBC wants to create a new show for its 7:00 p.m. time slot, fans of libtalk radio have been flooding the lefty cable network with unsolicited endorsements of various libtalk hosts

Two fan-based Facebook groups have been founded to promote Cenk Uygur of “The Young Turks” internet radio show and Sam Seder of Air America.

We say either of these guys is perfect for MSNBC. No one’s ever heard of them. No one’s ever listened to them. And no one will ever watch them.

The trifecta!

Academy Award winners leaked?

oscars winners letter thumbnailA mysterious Hollywood blog announced this week that it was in possession of a leaked letter that prematurely announced the winners of tonight’s Oscars. To see the letter and the list of winners click the image above, or click here.

The blog has suddenly been taken down, which makes some insiders believe the leak may be true.

“The document,” Academy spokesperson Leslie Unger said, “is a complete fraud.”

It’s only appropriate that an industry that blurs the line between reality and fantasy should have a controversy like this.

We’ll all know in a few hours who’s telling the truth.

They’re giving away Oscars, almost giving away the commercials

ABC Television has slashed the cost of commercials during today’s Academy Awards broadcast.

In 2008, 30-second commercials went for as much as $1.8 million. This year, they’re going for as little as $1.4 million.

Once considered invulnerable to economic ups and downs, the Academy Awards has discovered that it can’t get away with jacking up the ad rates every year. Especially in a year when all five Best Film nominees have been ignored by movie-goers.

Here’s a tip for the Oscars’ nominating committee: Nominate movies people want to see and people will want to watch your awards ceremony.

If they can bring those rates down a little more – ok, a lot more – you could be seeing “IHateTheMedia.com Presents the 2009 Oscars.” If only we hadn’t blow our entire 2009 ad budget on expensive SuperBowl commercials Doritos.

Obama’s weekly radio address delivered weakly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiqJtDWvTsYWe admit we’re a couple weeks late with this story. But with all the important news about killer monkeys and Muslim beheadings and tax dodging nominees, we just got around to watching President Obama’s first weekly radio address.

So much for soaring oratory. So much for inspirational demagoguery. So much for sending a thrill up Chris Matthews’ leg.

The president’s first weekly radio address proved that even Obama can be dull. IF FDR’s speeches were done at the fireside, this was done on the uninspired side.

Here, as a public service of IHateTheMedia.com, is a brief synopsis of the address:

“Crisis. Sacrifice. Taxes. Spend. Unprecedented. Crisis. Blah-blah-blah. Thanks for listening. And God bless America.”

What’s that? He didn’t say “God bless America?” Our mistake. We must have dozed off.

Tom Hanks is the new George Clooney. But without the rugged good looks. And the hair. And the chicks.

Remember back when Tom Hanks was a lovable goof ball who made TV shows like “Bosom Buddies” and movies like “Big?”

On one hand, he didn’t win any Academy Awards. But on the other hand, he didn’t annoy the hell out of us with any offensive anti-Mormon comments.

Looks like we’re not alone. Here’s what Andrew Brietbart had to say about Hanks on a recent O’Reilly show:

“I would say that Tom Hanks has been doing this for many years. It’s just now coming to our notice that he has been running with the far left in Hollywood. Back in 1998, he gave the maximum amount of money that he could to Bill Clinton’s defense fund. This is a man who was against gay marriage, as was Hillary Clinton. So, it’s strange that he has now come out against Mormons.”

Hanks has since apologized for his anti-Mormon remarks. But, Tom, we still need an apology for that Clinton Defense Fund donation.

Democrat senator goes on the radio to promote censoring the radio

Every once in a while, Democratic senators visit their home states just to remind the local folks what arrogance sounds like.

Democract Senator Jeff Bingaman of New Mexico visited his home state recently. While he was there, he went on the air with Jim Villanucci of KKOB Radio in Albuquerque.

“KKOB used to live under the Fairness Doctrine,” Bingaman asserted.

“Yeah,” Villanucci replied. “We played music.”

It was somewhat ironic that Bingaman’s was promoting censorship of the radio while speaking on the radio, but that irony seemed to go right over his head.

The economy is so bad Playboy can’t afford boobs

seth_roganWant to know why Playboy is struggling? To put it in terms a Playboy reader can understand, why pay for the cow when the milk is free? (In case that was too subtle, we mean to say that there’s so much free porn on the internet that no one is willing to pay for “sophisticated” nudity anymore.)

OK, we’ve put this off long enough. Let’s just say it quickly and get it over with. “Knocked Up” star Seth Rogan’s ugly mug will be on the cover of Playboy’s March (oops, correction) April issue. Maybe Christie Hefner hasn’t noticed but he’s a man. A dude. A guy.

Shame on Playboy. This sad little ploy reeks of desperation and screams, “Publicity stunt.”

It really doesn’t matter to us because we haven’t read Playboy since college. Oh, hell, who do we think we’re kidding? We didn’t read it then. Never actually noticed that it had words.

Why are liberals obsessed with testicles this weekend?

Bill Maher wants to lynch stockbrokers “with their balls in their mouths.” Fox News’ John Gibson should consider himself lucky, because the Huffington Post only wants to put words in his mouth.

Yesterday, the unabashedly lefty website ran a doctored video that combined two completely different stories and made it appear that Gibson had cast racial slurs at new Attorney General Eric Holder.

To their credit, HuffPo later pulled the doctored video, admitted they had been duped, and issued a mea culpa. Continue reading “Why are liberals obsessed with testicles this weekend?”

Anyone know a good internet dating site for a guy accused of cutting off his wife’s head?

Buffalo Beheading story above with ironic Muslim Matrimony ad next to it. Click image to see full size, full screen.

About ten days ago, an ad for “Muslim matrimonials” appeared right next to our story about the Muslim TV executive who beheaded his wife. You can see the hilarious juxtaposition on the screen capture above. Click the image or here for a full size, full screen image.

At first we thought our internet advertising provider had merely misinterpreted the context of the key words in the story — Muslim, husband, wife – and placed the ad there by mistake. But we’ve changed our minds. Because these are the smartest companies in the world, damn it, and they don’t make mistakes.

We’ve been deeply touched by this heartfelt effort to help Muzzammil Hassan find love again.

We hope he can find a life with a new woman. Or 25 to life. Whichever comes first.

Yo-Yo Ma and Itzak Perlman accused of torturing cats

It’s now leaked out that the inaugural musical offerings of Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Gabriela Montero, and Anthony McGill were pre-recorded. What you heard was, in effect, the equivalent of instrumental lip-synching.

What these musical legends really played, what people sitting there in the stands actually heard, sounds remarkably similar to a roomful of cats being tortured.

NOTE: We condemn the torture of cats, but we are also condemn this god-awful screeching produced by musicians who are considered to be among the world’s best.

Prepare yourself. It’s not pretty.

It’s the Turkish version of the Fairness Doctrine

flag_of_turkeyThe Turkish government has escalated its war on the free press to a new level by imposing a $500,000,000 fine on the Dogan Media Group, a Turkish publishing company. Dogan says it will fight the fine in court.

The Turkish Journalists’ Society has objected to the fine and called it a dangerous way to silence press outlets that criticize the government.

“Mr. Prime Minister’s anger caused by the news stories he disliked,” said a TGC statement, “has turned into a concrete attempt to silence (media) with the extremely high tax levy imposed on the Dogan Media Group.”

We know we have readers in Turkey, so rest assured that we’re watching our P’s and Q’s. A half a billion dollar fine could put quite a dent in our petty cash.

Source: Associated Press

Katie Couric wants the DMV to be your banker

photo: Travis Isaacs
photo: Travis Isaacs

We’re pretty sure Katie Couric leads a damn glamorous life. Limos to the studio. Limos to dinners at fabulous restaurants. Limos to the Hamptons for long, leisurely weekends.

Yet when this shameless prima donna examined pros and cons of the federal government nationalizing the banks, she concluded by saying, “…a government bureaucracy may not offer the best customer service.”

Earth to friggin’ Katie. May not offer the best service? For god’s sake, woman, order your limo driver to take you down to the DMV tomorrow. Have your man servant help your dainty ass out of the back seat. Then have your assistant open the door so you can walk inside and see what the real world is like.

Take it from us, honey, you don’t want these people in charge of your checkbook.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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