Would someone please wake us up when Obama leaves office?
Source: CNSnews.com
Scientific Breakthrough of the Year:
Coming soon to a theater near you: “Attack of the Hopey-Changers”
OK, so maybe it’s not coming to a theater near you soon. But we wish it were, because it would be funnier than hell.
Source: IOwnTheWorld.com
California Speaker Bass thinks voters are stupid confused to do the right thing
Why did California voters overwhelmingly reject all those tax-and-spend ballot measures last week? According to California Speaker of the Assembly Karen Bass, it’s because they’re too confused to comprehend the opportunity that had been presented to them by Arnold Schwartzenegger and the geniuses in the state legislature.
“I would go into a room,” she said, “…and I found the basic fact that voters were very confused about what it is we were asking them to do and why we were asking them to help us solve the budget problem.”
They were confused alright, honey. They were confused by the state’s profligate spending. Confused by its ballooning budget. Confused by the millions spent mollycoddling illegal aliens. Confused by the willful waste of their hard-earned tax dollars. And confused by the labor unions’ stranglehold on state’s future.
We were confused, but we just had a moment of complete clarity. So how about if you shut the hell up, Ms. Bass. Slash the spending. Cut the unions down to size. Pass a responsible budget that stops driving business and people out of the state. End the mollycoddling of illegal aliens.
You lying, hypocritical piece of over-spending excrement.
39% of Americans think we should pay more attention to national security, less to individual rights
Democrats bend over backward to defend the rights of terrorists. At least that’s what the results of a recent Rasmussen poll show.
According to the poll, 39% of voters nationwide believe our legal system worries too much about protecting individual rights. Just 24% think our legal system worries too much about national security. 25% say the balance is about right.
As you might expect, there’s a split along party lines. 54% of Republicans say the legal system worries too much about individual rights. 42% of unaffiliated voters agree.
Naturally, Democrats go the other way. Only 34% of them say the legal system is too concerned about national security.
We say, “Off with their heads.” But the difference between us and the terrorists is that we’re only speaking figuratively.
Source: RasmussenReports.com
Virus Warning!
If you get an email titled “Nude photos of Sarah Palin,” don’t open it. It could contain a virus.
If you get an email titled “Nude photos of Nancy Pelosi,” don’t open it. It could contain nude photos of Nancy Pelosi.
TV reporter confronts racist who says, “Asians are just mob of crooks”
Sometimes things are not as they appear. Even this British TV reporter couldn’t believe the results of his “hard-hitting” investigation of racism in real estate.
Source: Tim Blair/Sydney Daily Telegraph
Top 100 137 “Three Words” Liberals Hate
There is a new hashtag being used by conservatives on Twitter in recent days. It’s #3wordslibshate and people are tweeting three word phrasea that liberals hate. The #3wordslibshate hashtag follows many other “3words” hashtags, which have sprung up lately.
You can use Twitter’s search function to get real time results of what people are what people are tweeting to this category.
But there were so many good ones, going by so quickly, and which will eventually just disappear from the Twitter page, we decided to pick out what we thought were the Top 100 Three Words Liberals Hate, and memorialize them here.
Use the search link above to look for other good ones and post them below. Or, just make up your own and post them. We’ll expand this list with any good ones.
Now, you can help your pals at IHateTheMedia.com gain a little popularity by Tweeting the following message on Twitter:
Top 100 Three Words Liberals Hate http://is.gd/FxNl #3wordslibshate
Make sure you keep the hashtag in the end so those interested in the subject will see it.
Make sure you keep the #3wordslibshate in the tweet.
Here is the list, in alphabetical order:
- A proud American
- Acorn voter fraud
- Ambassador John Bolton
- A fair election
- Abortion is murder
- America is great
- America’s founding fathers
- Armed and dangerous
- Axis Of Evil
- Barack Hussein Obama
- Biden press conference
- Black conservative republican
- Boy Scout troop
- Bush won Florida
- By the people
- Checks and Balances
- Chicago tea party
- Children need fathers
- Climate change hoax
- Coal fired plant
- Coldest winter ever
- Conservative on campus
- Conservative talk radio
- Contract with America
- Dead can’t vote
- Drill baby drill
- Fair tax now
- Fly over country
- Fox News Channel
- Fox News Ratings
- Free market economy
- Freedom isn’t free
- Freedom of religion
- George W. Bush
- Get a job
- Get my gun
- Give me liberty
- God bless America
- God given rights
- God loves you
- Guns save lives
- Have no fear
- Here’s your bill
- I love America
- I made millions
- Increased military spending
- It’s my money!
- Jesus is coming
- Joe the Plumber
- Joe Biden Speaks
- Judeo Christian nation
- Justice Clarence Thomas
- Justice is blind
Let freedom ring - Let us pray
- Let voters decide
- Liberal media bias
- Life from conception
- Life isn’t fair
- Life, liberty, happiness
- Limited federal government
- Lock and load
- Man and wife
- Mandated term limits
- Marriage is sacred
- Mary Jo Kopecknick
- Men only club
- Merit based pay
- Michael Savage show
- Middle American values
- Monica’s blue dress
- Mr. and Mrs.
- Nancy Pelosi Lied
- Nation under God
- National Rifle Association
- Natural born citizenv
- No free lunch
- Nice fur coat
- No more earmarks
- No new taxes
- Not everyone wins
- Nuclear power plant
- Obama’s college records
- Obama’s half white
- Off of welfare
- Old fashioned values
- Om Kippur war
- Original birth certificate
- Partial Birth Abortion
- Peace through strength
- People have spoken
- Pledge of Allegiance
- Praise the Lord
- Private heath insurance
- Private property rights
- Prop 8 upheld
- Respect the constitution
- Reverend Jeremiah Wright
- Rich white man
- Right to cary
- Right to life
- Right to Secede
- Right to work
- Rule of law
- Rush is right
- Sarah Louise Palin
- Save the Hummer
- Second Amendment Rights
- Secret union ballot
- Secure the border
- Separation of powers
- Shave your legs
- Shoot to kill
- Smith and Wesson
- Stop judicial activism
- Successful hardworking entrepreneur
- Supply & demand
- Support our troops
- Swift Boat Veterans
- Take no prisoners
- Tax free cigarettes
- Teleprompter is broken
- Thank a veteran.
- The 10th amendment
- The citizen militia
- The Reagan Revolution
- The Ten Commandments
- The tenth amendment
- Traditional American family
- Two thousand twelve
- United States Constitution
- United States Marines
- Vote only once
- War on terror
- Well-armed citizenry
- Work not welfare
- Yes, I can
- You’re the father
Sorry there are no attributions, but with so many Retweets, it’s hard to tell who came up with what.
Okay, here are already well over 100. We can’t stop adding them.
Culture of Corruption Update: Democrats three times more cultured than Republicans
Funny thing. We’re not hearing the Democrats bang that culture of corruption drum much these days. Maybe it’s because they cleaned up all the corruption.
Just kidding.
It’s actually because the overwhelming number of politicians under investigation in Washington, DC these days are – drum roll, please – Democrats.
Fact is, there are now 12 active investigations looking into Democrats and only 4 looking into Republicans.
Democratic members of Congress under investigation: Sanford Bishop of Georgia, Jesse Jackson of Illinois, Allan Mollohan of West Virginia, John Murtha of Pennsylvania, Charlie Rangel of New York, Linda Sanchez of California, Loretta Sanchez of California, Pete Visclosky of Indiana.
Democratic Senators under investigation: Roland Burris of Illinois, Kent Conrad of North Dakota, Bob Menendez of New Jersey.
Republican members of Congress under investigation: Jerry Lewis of California, Garry Miller of California, Tim Murphy of Pennsylvania, Don Young of Alaska.
Republican Senators under investigation: None.
Sad to say, we don’t attribute this to any great sense of honesty on the part of the Republicans. It’s more likely that they’re just so weak and ineffectual that they’re not worth trying to corrupt them anymore.
Source: NationalReview.com
The Goode Family: The Animated, Anti-Al Gore Show
This looks like it’s going to be funny. “The Goode Family” premieres on ABC-TV on Wednesday, May 27. It was created by politically-incorrect Mike Judge, who also created King of the Hill and Beavis and Butt-head.
The Goode Family is an obsessively, compulsively politically and ecologically correct family. They live their lives the way liberals would have all of us live – reusing their shopping bags, driving hybrid cars, and recycling everything. Of course, they’re vegans, to boot.
Thanks, Mike Judge. Since the rest of the biased liberal media won’t expose the real world eco-wackos, we’re glad you did in animated form.
Source: Tim Blair/Sydney Daily Telegraph
Iranian TV reveals that swine flu was created by Donald Rumsfeld and Jewish co-conspirators
Next time NBC needs to import another comedy for its Thursday night line-up, may we suggest Iranian TV? Because these guys are hilarious.
In the embedded clip, the paranoid, neurotic, psychotic (are there any we’ve overlooked?) Iranians reveal a vast, heretofore unknown conspiracy between Donald Rumsfeld, evil Jewish pharmaceutical manufacturers, and the United States government to develop and spread swine flu. Even Barack Obama is involved in some cloudy way.
Included among the insane claims:
Rumsfeld is “an active an influential member on the board of directors of Gilead Sciences.” He’s not. Here’s the Gilead’s board of directors directly from its website.
“It should be noted that Gilead Sciences is a Jewish company…and all its shareholders are Zionists.” It’s actually a publicly held company with thousands of stockholders around the world. Donald Rumsfeld, for example, is Presbyterian, but we don’t even know if he owns stock in the company.
“It’s name in Hebrew means “holy place.” According to Wikipedia, it has several meanings in Hebrew, but none of them are “holy place.”
“It is interesting that last year (Rumsfeld) bought, if I’m not mistaken, 18 billion dollars worth of new Gilead stocks.” According to OpenSecrets.com, Donald H. Rumsfeld is worth somewhere between $57,089,104 and $174,672,011. Maybe he bought it all on margin.
Don’t miss the Iranian ComedyFest. Coming to NBC on Thursday Nights this fall.
Source: TheHill.com
Tired? Stressed? Feeling unproductive? Florida Democrat thinks you should have a paid vacation
Congressman Alan Grayson is getting ready to introduce legislation that he calls “The Paid Vacation Act.” Somehow, based on nothing but the name of this bill, we knew he had to be a Democrat.
The legislation will make paid vacation time a requirement under Federal law.
Grayson was visiting DisneyWorld in his home district when this brainstorm shorted out his synapses.
“There’s a reason why Disney World is the happiest place on Earth: The people who go there are on vacation,” Grayson said. “Honestly, as much as I appreciate this job and as much as I enjoy it, the best days of my life are and always have been the days I’m on vacation.”
“The bill would require companies with more than 100 employees to offer a week of paid vacation for both full-time and part-time employees after they’ve put in a year on the job,” Politico noted. “Three years after the effective date of the law, those same companies would be required to provide two weeks of paid vacation, and companies with 50 or more employees would have to provide one week.”
Grayson thinks more vacation will stimulate the economy. Workers will be happier, more productive, and miraculously call in with fewer sick days.
Why stop there, Congressman? If one week’s vacation will stimulate the economy, why not three weeks? Five weeks? Hell, let’s legislate that everyone gets 52 weeks paid vacation per year.
Then bring in illegal aliens to do all the work while we sit around watching Oprah and eating bonbons.
It’s obvious that this legislation was inspired by DisneyWorld, because it appears to have been written by Goofy.
Source: Politico.com
Biden latest blunder: He agrees with Cheney – not Obama – on Gitmo
When President Obama hears about Joe Biden’s latest statement, you can bet the phone lines will burn up between Washington, DC and Kosovo.
That’s where Biden tossed his boss under the bus and this is how the Telegraph UK reported it:
It seems that all a reporter has to do to find out about the pickle Barack Obama’s is really in over his promise to close the Guantanamo Bay prison is to ask the veep…
So will Obama fulfill his vow – announced amid great fanfare in an executive order on day two of his presidency – to close the facility by January 2010? “I think so,” Biden responded, according to Newsweek’s Holly Bailey.
So perhaps he will. Or perhaps not. We’ll see.
Biden continued: “But, look, what the president said is that this is going to be hard. It’s like opening Pandora’s Box. We don’t know what’s inside the box.”
He also said that “to the best of my knowledge” the number of prisoners “who are a real danger who are not able to returned or tried” has “not been established” by the Obama administration.
So he basically just confirmed his predecessor Dick Cheney’s analysis that the decision was taken “with little deliberation, and no plan”.
So Biden says closing Gitmo is like opening Pandora’s box.
That’s either zen-like in its wisdom or just a really bad simile. We vote for the really bad simile.
Source: Telegraph UK
Why we celebrate Memorial Day. And why we apologize to no one.
Our American troops sacrificed everything for freedom and never felt it necessary to deliver any apology speeches. That, apparently, is President Obama’s job.
Some of our country’s greatest accomplishments have been saving Europe from tyranny in two world wars. Here, as a tribute to our fallen soldiers, are twenty European cemeteries dedicated to American soldiers who gave their lives so that freedom could live. Just take it in and contemplate what they did.
1. The American Cemetery at Aisne-Marne, France. A total of 2289 of our military dead.
Continue reading “Why we celebrate Memorial Day. And why we apologize to no one.”
Thanks, President Obama: Cap-and Trade means a new $4300 per family energy tax
The Democrats’ Cap-and-Trade bill passed out of committee this week on a party line vote.
They passed it despite the fact that Cap-and-Trade has been a corruption-plagued failure in Europe. They passed it despite the fact that logic says you can’t pile billions of dollars of expenses on the economy without increasing costs. They passed it despite all logic and reason.
Heritage.org did an analysis that shows this preposterous program will cost the average American family $4,300 per year.
They predict that the direct impact on household energy bills will average $1500 per year. That includes the increases the increased costs of electricity, natural gas, home heating oil, and gasoline for your car.
“But the direct tax on household energy use is just the beginning,” Heritage reported. “The energy tax also hits producers. As the higher production costs ripple through the economy the household pocketbooks get hit again and again. When all the tax impacts have been added up, the average per-family-of-four costs rise by $4,300 per year.”
Heritge.org continued: “As President Obama warned us on his campaign trail, electricity prices will ‘necessarily skyrocket.’ So will everything else, except for our income and standard of living.”
After President Obama has finished his ‘Round the World Apology Tour 2009, perhaps he can come home and apologize to the American people for this Obamanation abomination.
Source: Heritage.org
Barney Frank supports ACORN’s freakin’ fraud
Naturally. Of course. Not surprised. Wouldn’t have expected anything less.
The same guy who led us down the primrose path on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac is now out there as ACORN’s loudest supporter.
ACORN, the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, may have pulled off the most widespread voter fraud in American history last year. They’re being investigated or have already been convicted in 14 states.
In response, Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachman proposed an entirely reasonable amendment that would have barred any organization under federal indictment from receiving funds from the mortgage reform bill.
But blatantly Barney Frank, ACORN’s congressional sugar daddy, saw to it that the amendment was removed, defeated, condemned to the ash heap of history. Remarkably, ACORN will now have access to up to $8.5 billion (with a “b”) from President Obama’s various “stimulus” schemes.
Frank claims ACORN isn’t eligible for any of the moneyOf course, this is the same guy who defended Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and had a prostitution ring operating out of his condo.
Apparently the prostitution ring is still operating, but has moved its headquarters to Washington, DC.
Read the full details of the corrupt relationship between Frank and ACORN here.
Source: YidWithLid
Jesse Jackson, Jr. accused of misusing campaign funds, Jesse Sr. bursting with pride
Imagine how proud you must be when the son you love chooses to follow in your footsteps. That’s the warm glow race-grifter Jesse Jackson is feeling right now.
Federal election records show that his son, Representative Jesse Jackson Jr., paid his wife at least $247,500 out of campaign funds since 2001. That includes at least $95,000 after the lovely and effervescent Sandra Jackson was elected to the Chicago City Council two years ago. She received the $95,000 for “political consulting.” Of course, this happened after she pledged during to give “my full attention” to her city council job.
But following in the Jackson family tradition, Junior’s fiduciary fiddling was far from finished.
His committee directed another $298,927 in cash and in-kind contributions to the missus’ campaign fund. That helped finance her city council campaign. Her salary for that plum job is more than $100,000 per year.
The odds of being honest were stacked against this kid. After all, his father is Jesse Jackson, Sr., he’s a Democrat, and he lives in Illinois.
Strike three.
Source: TheBigFeed
Allah ™
A Malay court will decide if a Catholic church will be able to continue to pray to Allah. The official language of Malaysia calls God Allah, and this particular church is trying to make a point. But the Muslims are not too happy about it, apparently believing they own the trademark. They are taking the church to court to forbid them from using the word Allah, as they argue its use by other faiths could cause cause confusion and conversions. Islam has 99 other names for Allah, you’d think they could spare one.
If the church can win this battle, we think they should offer 72 73 virgins for new converts from Islam.
Twidiot of the Day
Our Twidiot of the Day is @carbonoffsetnow.
“Tweeting is eco-friendly! Tweeting is fun and it’s nice to meet new people.”
Well, isn’t that special?
“Eating raw fruits and vegetables is a good way to go. No crops on the market today are genetically engineered to increase crop yield.”
But I’ll bet your bicycle has a bumper sticker about feeding the starving masses in Africa.
“It’s good karma to recipricate [sic] friendship! When we work together with the universe everyone is happy.”
Do you drink your Kool-Aid straight, or do you lace it with something psychedelic?
If you readers want to follow someone on Twitter with a little more grasp on reality, follow IHateTheMedia.
Mollycoddled college students stressed and depressed. Welcome to the real world, kids.
According to an Associated Press-mtvU poll 85% of college students surveyed report feeling stress recently.
The little darlings are worried about grades, school work, money and relationships. 42% said they had felt down, depressed or hopeless several days during the past two weeks. 13% showed signs of being at risk for mild depression or worse.
No friggin’ wonder, cupcake. You’ve been babied since the day you were born and told that you were special. You learned to play soccer without keeping score because losing might damage your delicate psyche. Your grades were inflated because…well…we don’t even know why grades were inflated. Your teachers took classes to learn how to build your self-esteem up bigger than Barry Bonds biceps even when you didn’t deserve it. And you actually thought Barack Obama would fill the world with sweetness and light.
Hah. Let us just say, welcome to the real world.
Of course, you’re depressed. The real world is filled with real pressure. Mommy and daddy aren’t going to pay your bills anymore. Your new boss won’t say “I’m giving you an A because you tried hard.” No. He’s more likely to say, “Turn in a piece of crap like this again and your ass will be on the street.”
Get over yourselves. Shut the hell up. Get a job. Work your ass off like the rest of us.
Sometimes you’ll win. Sometimes you’ll lose. But if you work hard you’ll discover that hard work is its own reward. So get to work.
One more thing: In the real world, they keep score.
Source: Associated Press via Yahoo
Obama birth certificate controversy outed in billboard campaign
We’re not big believers in the Barack Obama birth certificate issue. That being said, the controversy refuses to go away.
World Net Daily is erecting outdoor boards across the country “to raise awareness of questions surrounding the constitutional eligibility of Barack Obama to serve as president.”
The message on the boards is simple: “Where’s the birth certificate?”
The first board has already been posted in Louisiana and additional boards are planned in Los Angeles and in Pennsylvania.
“I wish such a campaign were not absolutely necessary,” Farah commented. “I wish there were checks and balances in our political and electoral systems to ensure that constitutional eligibility of presidential candidates was established before politicians could assume the highest office in the land. I wish my colleagues in the news media believed the Constitution really means what it says and pressed this issue as hard as we have pressed it at WND. I wish radio talk-show hosts were bold enough to ask this question. But wishing is not enough. It’s time to raise the visibility of this issue vital to the rule of law in America. I ask everyone to pitch in and help WND make a simple yet profound statement: The Constitution still matters.”
Only one flaw in Farah’s reasoning – it’s becoming more and more obvious that the Constitution really doesn’t matter here in ObamaLand.
Source: WorldNetDaily.com
Paranoid Ugandan president says Africans must travel to the moon
You may have thought Uganda had enough problems, what with poverty, various civil wars, child slavery, mass murder, AIDS, and a hideously ugly national flag.
Nope. Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni has bigger fish to fry. He says Africans need to go to the moon.
Why? To investigate what developed nations have been doing up there.
“The Americans have gone to the moon. And the Russians. The Chinese and Indians will go there soon. Africans are the only ones who are stuck here,” Museveni said in a speech to the Uganda Law Society.
“We must also go there and say, ‘What are you people doing up here?’”
We really can’t think of any concluding comment funnier than that. So let’s just repeat it.
“We must also go there and say, ‘What are you people doing up here?’”
Source: TheBigFeed
Obama creates his own TV network, peeves other TV networks
“Tonight on Obama TV. Women’s basketball like you’ve never seen it before.”
If you thought our Supreme Leader was content owning his own car company, think again. Now he has his own TV network.
ABC’s Jake Tapper reports that after President Obama greeted the UConn Lady Huskies, winners of the NCAA women’s basketball championship, at the White House on April 27, he took the team to the White House basketball court to show off his “mad skills.”
This is where the story went south for the White House Press Corps. Obama didn’t allow the press to view the happenings and they protested their baffling exclusion.
Turns out the White House produced its own professionally-produced TV report on the team’s visit.
“It’s perfectly fine, of course, for the White House to put out its own version of events — but is it right to do so by preventing actual reporters from covering something? (Even something like a pickup basketball game),” Tapper asked on his ABC News blog.
”Do Obama White House officials think their media coverage isn’t flattering enough?” he continued.
“Is the goal to ultimately replace the pesky photographers who film what they want to and not what they’re told to (not to mention the annoying reporters who ask uncomfortable questions about, say, detainee policy and bank bailouts)?”
“Do you want your OTV? (I’ll bet there are a few takers out there.)”
One thing we know for sure: the Fairness Doctrine won’t apply to the Obama Television Network.
Source: ABC News
Joe Biden Twitter impersonator even funnier than Biden himself
@JoeyBiden is our favorite Twitter impersonator. He posts phony tweets supposedly written by the Vice President.
The guy is anonymous and hilarious. So are his followers. Their tweets are so incredibly stupid that you’ll quickly find yourself thinking, “Hey, maybe Biden did write this.”
Here are just a few examples:
- from @hannahighpoint who will win American Idol? || That chinaman, William Hung
- from @EconDog should we be worried about China messing with our $?|| Of course not.I’ll worry about China when they have more people than us
- from @SnakeBucket What will we do if Iran gets nukes? || If that happens you guys are screwed. Im moving south to Canada
- from @samishamieh If I could waterboard anyone who would it be?|| Easy. Jake Tapper. That guy better fall in line with the rest of them
- from @DanCleary Boxers or briefs? || I go commando. Its the way Jill and Rahm like it
- The dinner was ok last night. That guy Wanda kinda sucked.
- Just left 7-11. There was a white person working the counter. I havent been this surprised since I found out Wanda Sykes was a woman
- Just received a lovely email from the widow of a Nigerian prince. Its urgent and confidential so I am directing 85% of bailout $ to her
- Just ran into Bob Costas & told him Im a big fan. He stormed away angrily. Was just told it was actually Rachel Maddow
- I can sum up that burger in 3 letters- Delicious
- Ok,Ive been reading the constitution for weeks & I still can’t find the part about the VP having to walk Bo the dog.I hope this isnt a joke
- Huge split in the administration over who to appoint to the Supreme Court. My choice is a no brainer. Judge Reinhold
- Just left a meeting. Obama said he was surprised Miss California didn’t finish in 57th place
Source: Twitter.com/JoeyBiden
Helping the Obama administration practice obfuscation reality enhancement
When President Obama promised “change,” no one knew he wanted to change the names of things that are clearly understood to names that are…well…clearly not understood.
“Global War on Terror” became “overseas contingency operation.” “Terrorism” became “man-caused disaster.” Now the Treasury wants “toxic assets” to be called “legacy assets” name and the CDC wants “swine flu” to be called “H1N1.”
Unfortunately, no one’s buying these names. Not even the biased liberal media. When was the last time you heard Katie Couric report an overseas contingency operation?
Eric Swartz, the San Francisco-based TaglineGuru, wants to help. So he came up with some ideas to help the Obama administration rebrand other policy terms. Some of his suggestions:
Detainees: Custodial informants
Terrorists: Improvised ideologues
Deficit: Long shortfall (or inverted surplus)
One trillion dollars: Nth power financing
Border violence: Territorial imperative
Torture: Non-verbal questioning
Taxes: Income tweaks
We like it. Or as they might say in the Obama administration, it’s favorability enhanced.
Source: FoxNews.com
Headline of the Day:
“Obama Chief of Staff Tells Graduates to Learn From Failing”
If that’s the case, Rahm Emanuel has received quite an education in the last four months.
Source: CNSnews.com
