UPDATE: Detail of Aaron Bruns’ disgusting kiddie porn charges

Aaron Bruns
Aaron Bruns

Details of the child porn charges against a Fox News producer are even more disgusting than originally feared. Videos and photos on 29-year old Aaron Bruns’ laptop computer reportedly show “children under the age of ten being sexually abused by adult men and women.” Law enforcement officials indicate some of the children may be as young as five.

Sadly, this isn’t Bruns’ first child porn problem. He had been sentenced to three years probation after pleading guilty to distributing child porn over the internet back in 1999. At the time, police said they had found 6,000 pornographic images of children on his laptop computer at the University of Michigan.

WARNING: A copy of the affidavit in support of Bruns’ arrest warrant can be found by clicking on the following links. It is not for the squeamish, because it contains graphic detail about the vile nature of the porn found on Bruns’ laptop.

Aaron Bruns Affidavit Page 1
Aaron Bruns Affidavit Page 2

Obama names Republican to head Commerce, then takes away his responsibilities

acornHispanic and black groups didn’t like the idea of Republican Judd Gregg being named Commerce Secretary and having responsibility for the census. No, no, no. Didn’t like it at all.

So President Obama compliantly stripped census responsibilities away from Gregg and said the Director of the Census would now report directly to the White House. Republicans know that when Obama said “White House,” he really means Rahm Emanual, long-time Democratic political operative and nastiest man in Washington, DC.

The census is important politically because it is used to re-apportion congressional districts and to dole out federal funding. So it probably won’t be long before ACORN volunteers are hired to handle the census as efficiently as they already handle voter registration.

Consider it corruption you can believe in.

Lefty Krugman likes Republican stimulus plan. Kinda. Sorta.

Don’t get too carried away with the headline. In reality, he doesn’t like either “stimulus” plan. He just likes Obama’s plan less than the Republican plan.

“Mr. Obama got nothing in return for his bipartisan outreach,” Paul Krugman concluded a recent article. “Not one Republican voted for the House version of the stimulus plan, which was, by the way, better focused than the original administration proposal.”

Krugman’s faint praise is like saying, “Your second ugliest sister is prettier than your ugliest sister.”

But he doesn’t really want to kiss either of them.

China demonstrates how the Fairness Doctrine would work

Those wily Chinese always seem to be one step ahead of us lately. Even in implementing the Fairness Doctrine.

A protestor recently tossed a shoe at Chinese premier Wen – in imitation of the Iraqi reporter who hurled a shoe at President Bush – during his speech in England.

Chinese state-run newspapers and websites reported on Wen’s speech but ignored the shoe-throwing. Independent websites that mention the incident appear to have been censored. The official Xinhua News Agency reported that Britain apologized for an incident but never mentioned what what it was apologizing for.

Consider this a preview of American radio after politicians implement the Fairness Doctrine and begin their own favored programming.

Leahy wants “Truth Commission” to investigate Bush administration

Speaking as if he had stepped out of the pages of George Orwell’s novel 1984, Democratic Senator Patrick Leahy said he wants to appoint a “Truth Commission” to investigate a whole range of decisions made during the Bush administration. He says it’s not intended to “humiliate” people, but to discover the truth.

Specifically, Leahy wants to look into detainee abuse, politically-inspired actions at the Justice Department, and matters of Iraq prewar intelligence. “I’m doing this not to humiliate people or punish people,” Leahy said, “but to get the truth out.”

“And after we get the Truth Commission going,” Leahy added, “we’ll start construction on the re-education…I mean summer camps for the Republicans…I mean defendants.”

Now that’s what we call a stimulus package

Sometimes we love the media
Sometimes we love the media

The 23-year-old Israeli-born model Bar Refaeli was allegedly slated for last year’s Sports Illustrated cover, but was dropped and replaced by Marisa Miller when Bar couldn’t keep the good news to herself. As Page Six reports: “It’s very secretive, and the magazine likes to keep people guessing.”

Boyfriend and overpaid actor Leonardo DiCaprio has been pushing hard to get his squeeze on the cover. But judging from the photos and video, his effort was unnecessary.

Obama’s stimulus plan has been criticized for not taking effect fast enough. After the obligatory research the IHTM staff must rigorously and dutifully perform, we can report with certainly that the Bar Refaeli package provides instantaneous stimulation.

“The War on Terror” now hate speech

Words matter according to President Obama. Especially when they might offend the sensitive terrorists of the world.

“Words matter in this situation,” Obama told Anderson Cooper, “because one of the ways we’re going to win this struggle is through the battle of hearts and minds.”

Obama thinks we can cozy up to moderate Muslims if we choose our words carefully. So “The War on Terror” is out. Instead, Obama uses inoffensive but meaningless platitudes like “the enduring struggle against terrorism and extremism.”

Obviously, with all the tax cheats running rampant in his administration, Obama hasn’t had time to work up a catchy new phrase to replace “The War on Terror.” So we’re here to help. How about:

“The Obama Thrill-O-Rama”
 or
“The Dynamite Vest Dance Recital.”
 or
“57 Virgin Tour 2009”

We’re here for you, Barack. Call us anytime.

Fox News Producer Aaron Bruns arrested on child porn charges

Aaron Bruns
Aaron Bruns

TVNewser is reporting that Fox News Channel producer Aaron Bruns has been arrested and charged with one count of possession of child pornography. A Fox News spokesperson told TVNewser, “We are aware of the arrest and he is currently suspended without pay.”

Bruns has been with FNC in the Washington, D.C. bureau for over six years. He was an embedded producer with the Hillary Clinton campaign last year.

FishbowlDC further reports that Bruns’ was previously arrested on charges of distributing child porn in 1999. Fox News told TVNewser that his criminal record did not surface as he was hired in 2002, one year before Fox News instituted background checks.

We usually end with a clever line here, but there’s nothing funny about this. All we’ve got to say is, if he’s quilty, hang him high.

Update: The Smoking Gun says, “According to an arrest warrant affidavit filed in U.S. District Court, an FBI search of a Dell laptop in Bruns’s Washington, D.C. home turned up several photos and videos showing the sexual abuse of children as young as five years old.”

Update:The original video has been pulled, so we replaced it with a photo of him. If anyone has a new link to the video (not the one with Hilary), please let us know.

Porn star runs for Senate, seems perfectly qualified

stormy_danielsAdult film star Stormy Daniels says she may run against Louisiana Republican Senator David Vitter. Vitter, who was named in a Washington, DC prostitution ring, calls himself a social conservative.

“I don’t see how I can possibly embarrass him more than he already embarrassed himself…,” Daniels said. “Honestly, I’m not sure I’m willing to take the pay cut that comes with being a senator.”

This is like the old joke about the gorgeous woman who sits down next to a guy in a bar. He turns to her and says, “Would you have sex with me for $1,000,000.

“Well, that’s a lot of money,” she says. “I guess I would.”

He says, “How about $10?”

She’s shocked. She’s furious. “What do you take me for,” she says, “some kind of whore?”

“We’ve already established that,” he says, “now we’re just haggling about price.”

We know what Senators are. Why not just elect someone who’s willing to admit she’ll screw us all if the money’s right.

Quote of the day

“Members of Congress should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we can identify their corporate sponsors.”

We wish we could take credit for that line, but we can’t. It’s just one of those anonymous things floating around the internet.

No, wait. We did write that line. Right after we invented the internet.

Matthews: I love to think with him

Not since Chris Mathews told us of the tingling sensation he gets up his leg when he hears Obama speak, has he shown off his Obama mancrush with such affection and enchantment as he did last night. If only he’d held back until this Saturday, Valentines Day, it would have been perfect.

During a special edition of Countdown, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews poured his heart out to Barack. He said that he was “very impressed with [Obama’s] amazing ability,” and told us that his guy was “at his best intellectually.” But, he really showed his affection with this comment: “What a mind he has, and I love his ability to do it on television. I love to think with him.”

Making sure not to leave out anyone else in his circle of friends, he added, “I think our breed looked pretty good tonight. I think the press looked very good tonight. I think they asked great questions. I loved, I would be very impressed with the press tonight.”

Love isn’t just in the air, it’s on the air.

Saddam Hussein loved the sound of Dan Rather’s voice.

"No one is listening...must be a party line"
"No one is listening...must be a party line"

Remember Dan Rather’s interview with Saddam Hussein before the start of the war in Iraq? Rather told reporters he practiced all his questions while standing in front of a mirror in his hotel room.

But in a new book, “Hide and Seek: The Search for Truth in Iraq,” author Charles Duelfer notes that Saddam had Baghdad so heavily bugged that he undoubtedly heard every word of Rather’s rehearsal.

“It is simply surprising,” observed Duelfer, “that someone as worldly as Dan Rather would not assume his room was bugged in one of the most security-conscious regimes on the planet.”

Surprising that Rather could be stupid? If you believe that, I have some phony National Guard documents I’d like to sell you.

Now the Philadelphia newspaper wants bail-out money.

photo by Flickr's yomanimus
photo by Flickr's yomanimus

Let’s see if we can keep track of it all. The banks want bail-out money. Wall Street wants bail-out money. The states want bail-out money. Cities want bail-out money. The steel industry wants bail-out money. Who’s left?

Ah, let’s not forget newspapers. Now the Philadelphia Inquirer wants a $10 million government bailout. And Democrat Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell thinks it’s a grand idea.

Our position on the bail-out is very simple. No money for the Inquirer until after IHateTheMedia.com gets bail-out money.

After all, this is a very expensive operation we’re running here. We have a huge staff of highly-trained reporters stationed around the world. We have massive internet infrastructure costs. Not to mention all our wild parties with cocaine and hookers and other crazy stuff.

This operation is expensive, damn it, and we want bail-out money, too.

Ahmadinejad wants change he can believe in

Ahmadinejad
image by Flickr's azrainman

Unfortunately, the change the Iranian leader wants is a change in U.S. policy.

Last week, Obama did as he said he would do and extended an olive branch to Iran with no pre-conditions. But Iran’s leaders made it clear they have no interest in talking to Obama unless we change our policies.

Just as conservatives have warned for years, Obama’s offer was misinterpreted by the extremist Islamic government. They said Obama’s willingness to reach out to Ahmadinejad “means Western ideology has become passive, that capitalist thought and the system of domination have failed.”

How is this possible? We’re we told that all our enemies would magically become our friends the moment Obama was elected?

We just feel so used.

Al Gore wins Grammy for most boring album of the year

What’s that? That wasn’t the category? Well, it should have been.

Hollywood continued its sordid love affair with Al Gore last night by awarding “An Inconvenient Truth” the 2009 Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album. It was “spoken” by Beau Bridges, Cynthia Nixon and Blair Underwood, because the producers knew that listening to Al Gore could cure sleep apnea.

“With wit, smarts and hope, AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH ultimately brings home Gore’s persuasive argument that we can no longer afford to view global warming as a political issue – rather, it is the biggest moral challenges facing our global civilization.”

Damn. We nodded off just reading the press release.

Global warming drives people insane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnze-_4_DpgA horribly depressed 17-year old Aussie boy was admitted last year to the psychiatric until at Melbourne’s Royal Children’s Hospital.

So worried about global warming was the young man that he refused to drink water. Australian doctors termed the condition “climate change delusion.”

“Climate change could have a real impact on our psyches,” says Paul Epstein, associate director of Harvard Medical School’s Center for Health and the Global Environment.

Experts at the IHateTheMedia.com School of Medicine have dubbed the condition Gore Syndrome. Common symptoms include delusions of grandeur, rapid weight gain, and shriveling of the portion of the brain that controls logic.

Hollywood doesn’t like Nixon, America doesn’t like Nixon movies.

nixon_oliver_stoneIn 1995, Oliver Stone made the movie “Nixon.” It bombed, bringing in under $14,000,000. In 2008, Ron Howard added another name, made a new movie called “Frost/Nixon.” It also bombed, bringing in just under $15,000,000.

Apparently, Hollywood has decided to bring America another Nixon movie every 13 years. Whether we want them or not.

Critics say “Frost/Nixon” is filled with lies, distortions, exaggerations and what are euphemistically called “dramatizations.” For more information read the excellent Lies, Damn Lies and Dramatizations: ‘Frost/Nixon’ at BigHollywood.com.

“But the film’s about Nixon,” say Hollywood insiders, “so it’s ok if we say the most vile things we can think of. And since this is Hollywood, that can be pretty darn vile.”

We say save your money for the anticipated 2021 release of the blockbuster “Frost/Nixon/Hitler,” which according to our calculations should bring in $16,000,000.

Franken says, “Don’t forget me. I cheated on my taxes, too.”

al_franken_lying_liarsAl Franken, the Minnesota Democratic senatorial candidate, apparently considers Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle to be role models. Because the unfunny former comedian still owes more than $70,000 in back taxes, interest and penalties to 17 states.

When the problems were discovered, Franken immediately threw his accountant of 18 years under the bus. The poor accountant could only say, “I’ve been told to say ‘no comment.’”

Referring to Daschle’s withdrawal, President Obama said, “Ultimately it’s important for this administration to send a message that there aren’t two sets of rules. You know, one for prominent people and one for ordinary folks who have to pay their taxes.”

If Franken’s senate bid proves unsuccessful, Obama is reported to be considering him for a position in his administration. “He has all the qualifications we’re looking for,” said one fictional administration spokesperson.

Bush says rendition, Panetta says retraction

In the words of SNL’s Roseanne Roseannadanna, “Never mind.” Looks like another misstep – or misstatement – from those wild and crazy guys in the Obama administration.

Leon Panetta was forced to retract a previous statement in which he said the Bush administration sent terrorism suspects overseas to be tortured.

“I am not aware,” Panetta confessed, “of the validity of those claims.” What that means in plain English is, “I lied and got caught. Now get off my back.”

Panetta admitted that the Obama administration would continue the Bush policy of sending foreign detainees to other countries for questioning, but only with assurances they will not be tortured.

So let’s see. Obama’s pulling out of Iraq, but not really. Obama’s closing Gitmo, but not really. Obama’s stopping rendition, but not really.

We believe everything this administration says, but not really.

Liberal talk radio dies in DC today

Ahh...a breath of fresh air in D.C.
Ahh...it just smells better in D.C.

The air seems a little cleaner in the nation’s capitol today. Lib talk radio is dead in the District of Columbia.

WWRC-AM had marketed itself as “Obama 1260,” proving that the FCC doesn’t consider stupidity to be sufficient grounds for revocation of a broadcast license. The station has now flipped to a business talk/news format.

Losing affiliates is nothing new for Stephanie Miller, Ed Schultz, Bill Press, Ron Reagan, Rachel Maddow and Lionel. But the loss of the Washington, DC market is a particularly harsh blow for liberal talk radio, because the format is rapidly running out off major markets in which it can be dumped.

Miller, often referred to as the rising star of libtalk, has lost market after market and now retains affiliates in just 11 of the top 50 markets. Like many lib talk stations, WWRC ranked dead last in the Washington, DC ratings, 30th out of 30 stations.

As of today, Miller, Schultz, Press, Reagan, Maddow and Lionel are on the street, where they will presumably organize protests and carry picket signs calling for the re-introduction of the Fairness Doctrine.

Did Putin attend secret ABBA concert? He says, “Nyet.”

Я люблю ТКАНЬ ИЗ ВЕРБЛЮЖЬЕЙ ШЕРСТИ. Они заставляют меня чувствовать себя настолько сладким и веселым!
Я люблю ТКАНЬ ИЗ ВЕРБЛЮЖЬЕЙ ШЕРСТИ. Они заставляют меня чувствовать себя настолько сладким и веселым!

In case you haven’t noticed, Russian pseudo-czar Vladimir Putin one very strange dude. As if his obviously-staged shirtless photos weren’t enough, there’s this story.

Bjorn Again, an act that has imitated the Swedish pop group ABBA for years, says they were flown to Russia to perform the strangest concert of their careers.

The band’s manager said they were driven nine hours through snowy countryside to a military base where the group was housed in barracks and ate with Russian soldiers. Later they were taken to a tiny theatre where the Russian strongman and a handful of guests watched the performance through a gauze curtain intended to obscure Putin’s identity.

Putin’s representatives say the story is a complete fabrication. But seriously, wouldn’t you say the same thing.

Good lord, man, Vladimir Putin likes ABBA. He’s an even more hideous monster than we ever suspected.

Stephanopoulos condemns Obama’s “bi-partisan nirvana”

george_stephanopoulosIgnoring the fact that Republicans were shut out of writing the “stimulus” bill, George Stephanopoulos said Sunday that President Obama has been too bi-partisan.

“Some White House officials I talk to concede that he put too much emphasis on ‘non-partisan nirvana’ rather than on getting the job done,” Stephanopoulos said.

Then Stephanopoulos momentarily lost concentration and gave a more realistic assessment. “Because the White House set the goal of bi-partisanship, maybe even 80 Senate votes, this does have the feel of a failure, even though it’s a great success.”

Please allow us to make a pithy observation.

“The difference between the Obama administration and the Reagan administration? One has the fear of failure. The other had a failure of fear.

– IHateTheMedia.com, 2009

You can quote us.

“Nastiest human being ever” defends Christian Bale

Whoopi Goldberg, one of the loose cannons on ABC’s The View, has come to the defense of Christian Bale after his obscenity-laden recording surfaced on the internet.

“We don’t know if this (incident happened) at the end of the day, we don’t know how many hours (he had) been working,” Goldberg said. “It’s tough. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I too have gone off on people, because if you’re a professional, you know what you’re not supposed to do.”

Far be it from us to inject a personal note, but IHateTheMedia.com has a very good friend who worked with Goldberg on a project several years ago. He said, and we quote, “Whoopi Goldberg is the nastiest human being I’ve ever met.”

Unfortunately, that seems to make her the perfect character reference for Bale.

NY Times writer fantasizes about Obama sudsing up in the shower

photo: Flickr's Idiay
photo: Flickr's Idiay

We present the following excerpts from a NY Times column by Judith Warner, without comment. After all, what could we say that could top this stuff?

“The other night I dreamt of Barack Obama. He was taking a shower right when I needed to get into the bathroom to shave my legs, and then he was being yelled at by my husband, Max, for smoking in the house. It was not clear whether Max was feeling protective of the president’s health or jealous because of the cigarette.”

“The other day a friend of mine confided that in the weeks leading up to the election, the Obamas’ apparent joy as a couple had made her just miserable. Their marriage looked so much happier than hers. Their life seemed so perfect.”

We had the same dream the other night. Except instead of Barack Obama, it was Jessica Alba. We’re hoping to have the same dream again tonight.

Tom Cruise is loco en le cabeza louco na cabeça crazier than hell

tom_cruise_katie_holmes_dancing1Tom Cruise doesn’t get any saner when he leaves the United States. The former super star’s latest incident occurred in Brazil while he was there promoting his latest movie.

First, Cruise tried to make points with local reporters by saying “hola” (hello) and “gracias” (thank you). Oops. That would have been dandy had Tom been in Spain, but they speak Portuguese in Brazil, not Spanish.

Then, just to make matters worse, he said he fell in love with Brazil by watching movies about the samba and the tango. Double oops. The tango is an Argentinian dance.

At that point, Cruise jumped on a couch and proclaimed his undying love of tacos and reporters slowly dispersed.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
Verified by MonsterInsights