Tag: Barack Obama

Barack Hussein Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, 44th president of the United States — socialist, radical, and enemy of Americans who believe in the constitution. Here are hundreds of articles on this man.

Kids think Obama was born on Krypton and wears a red cape

dear_mr_presidentWe hate the media. Especially when it manipulates kids for political purposes. Like in “Dear Mr. President,” a new e-book chock full of kids’ over-the-top hopes and dreams for President Obama.

But we did like the request from seven-year-old Aaron Van Blerkom of Pasadena, California. “Dear Mr. Obama,” the first grader said, “Please make it rain candy!”

Why did we like it? Because the abilities young Aaron attributes to Obama are not unlike the superhuman abilities his adult supporters seem to believe he possesses.

Naturally, this “Dear Mr. President” deification was produced by the National Education Association and kidthing.com, which also produces a media player for the e-book.

But just to hedge our bets, Mr. President, could you please make IHateTheMedia.com the most powerful, influential website in the universe?

Obama team hiring journalists fast as they can be laid off

The newspaper business may be dying, but journalists’ careers are being reincarnated by the Obama administration.

The latest is the Chicago Tribune’s Jill Zuckman. She’s hooking up with the administration as Director of Public Affairs at the Department of Transportation. Peter Gosselin, one of her coworkers at the Trib, recently hired on as chief speech writer for Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. Time Magazine’s Jay Carney is now Joe Biden’s communications director. CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta is rumored to be in the running for Surgeon General.

Many conservatives fear this intentional blurring of the lines between impartial journalism and partisan politics.

(Hey, who picked up the mail today? Did anyone notice if our job offer came in yet?)

Bill Maher doesn’t know how much Obama doesn’t know

Poor Bill Maher. If he believed in the first coming of Christ, he would undoubtedly have told us that Barack Obama was the second coming of Christ. That’s how much he believed in his candidate.

But now that Obama is president, the “comedian” seems to be feeling a little less confident. Obama’s only been in office for three weeks, but Maher sounded a bit defensive on last night’s Larry King program.

“I think Obama is learning, and he certainly is the smartest guy we’ve had there that I can remember,” Maher puffed. “But there’s always a learning curve.”

Had it been anyone other than Larry King conducting the interview, they would have posed some interesting follow-up questions.

Larry simply continued his brief nap before cutting to a commercial.

For the full transcript go here.

Biden worships the water Democrats walk on

joe_biden_fingersThe only way Joe Biden can go a day without saying something really stupid is to stuff a sock in his mouth as soon as he wakes up in the morning. And that might not even solve his problem.

The verbally-challenged Biden thanked Democrats in the House of Representatives for passing the President’s $819 billion “stimulus” bill.

“In these uncharted waters,” the MixMaster of Metaphors said, “you stepped up in a big way.”

Then he startled damn near everyone in the room by continuing to talk about the bloated bill and saying there’s a “30 percent chance we’ll get it wrong.”

We just checked with our favorite Las Vegas bookie. He says there’s a 90% chance Obama will beat the living putty out of Biden before the 2010 midterm elections.

Matthews says Obama’s like Fred Astaire, fantasizes he’s Ginger Rogers

Fred Astaire and Chris Matthews
Fred Astaire and Chris Matthews

Let us be the first to say it: Come out of the closet, Chris Matthews.

Matthews on-going Obama-erotic comments get stranger and stranger on a nightly basis. Now the host of MSNBC’s Hardball has compared Barack Obama to suave 1940’s dancer and heartthrob Fred Astaire.

“Yeah, he’s Fred Astaire out there,” Matthews enthused. “He is light-hearted, I mean he’s light, he still moves around with incredible alacrity.”

For god’s sake, Chris, this charade you’re living isn’t good for anyone. Just put on a nice, frilly gown and ask Obama for the next dance. Get it over with.

The team here at IHateTheMedia.com is behind you all the way. In a manly sort of way, of course.

Axelrod on Fairness Doctrine: “I don’t have an answer for you now.”

Quick Link: On Fox News Sunday today David Axelrod told hold Chris Wallace “I’m going to leave that issue [Fairness Doctrine] to Julius Genachowski, our new head of the FCC, to, and the president, to discuss. So I don’t have an answer for you now.” Read: Axelrod punts on fairness doctrine.

Obama the Musical, starring Joe Biden as the Scarecrow

They say Barack Obama inspired millions around the world. But the inspiration doesn’t stop there. No siree, bob.

“Obama on My Mind,” an Obama-inspired musical, opens at in London in March. Teddy Hayes, a U.S.-born writer, wrote the music and lyrics.

The “humorous romp” takes place in an Obama campaign office, complete with songs that mix pop, gospel, jazz, Motown, and even tango.

Luckily, the producers don’t have to find a singing Commander In Chief look-alike, because the Obama character never appears onstage. “Nobody can really impersonate Obama, can they?” Hayes quipped. “He’s a one-off.”

Our toes are tappin’ already. Oh, wait, that’s just the nervous tic we developed since we heard the details of the “stimulus” plan.

Wall Street Journal questions Obama’s selection of questioners

The selection is questioners at Obama's press conference was unusual, to say the least.
The selection is questioners at Obama's press conference was unusual, to say the least.

The press corps was gathered at the White House for President Obama’s first primetime press conference. They were on the edge of their seats, hoping to be called on by the Boy Prince.

The press conference started normally enough. Then, as the Wall Street Journal reports, the President started asking the questions.

Looking around the room for NBC’s White House correspondent, the President said, Continue reading “Wall Street Journal questions Obama’s selection of questioners”

Cafferty: Obama sticking pins in Nancy Pelosi doll

jack-caffertyCNN’s Jack Cafferty blames Nancy Pelosi for the Democrats problems. What problems? Didn’t we officially change the name of this country to Paradise on Inauguration Day?

“Democrats are squandering their advantage and threatening to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory,” Cafferty wrote. “Under [Pelosi’s] leadership, House Democrats excluded Republicans from having any voice in crafting the stimulus package.”

“…Democrats busily loaded up the bill with stuff they had been unable to get for eight years…All while Americans lose their homes, their jobs, and their savings. It was both childish and disgraceful.”

“My guess is President Obama is busy these days sticking pins in his Nancy Pelosi doll.”

Our guess is President Obama also has a Chatty Joey doll. You pull the string and it says something stupid.

Ed Schultz booted off the radio, lands at Obama press conference

ed_schultz_radioWhen Ed Schultz, floundering left-wing radio host, was booted off the air in Washington, DC yesterday, observers wondered where he would end up next.

The surprising answer? In the front row at President Obama’s press conference.

As if to segregate the unsuccessful and the unattractive in one small area, Schultz was seated next to aesthetically-challenged reporter Helen Thomas. Miffed network correspondents were relegated to the second row.

“What’s the problem,” Helen Thomas thought to herself. “This dough-faced lunatic is just as impartial as I am.”

Welcome to 1600 Porksylvania Avenue. Can we take you on a tour?

Just based on the following comment, some crafty publisher is probably preparing a book called, “The Wit and Wisdom of Our Fearless Leader.” Because this Obama guy, he’s a laugh riot.

“I know that there are a lot of folks out there who’ve been saying, ‘Oh, this is pork, and this is money that’s going to be wasted,’ and et cetera, et cetera,” President Obama glibly noted. “Understand, this bill does not have a single earmark in it, which is unprecedented for a bill of this size…There aren’t individual pork projects that members of Congress are putting into this bill.”

To that, we say, “If that ain’t pork we smell, they must be barbecuing ribs over at Harry Reed’s house.”

If the media won’t tell you what’s in it, we will. Here, thanks to the good folks over at National Review Online, is a brief list of the pork that peppers the “stimulus” bill: Continue reading “Welcome to 1600 Porksylvania Avenue. Can we take you on a tour?”

Salon.com admits obvious: “The new Great Communicator…isn’t.”

Ahhhh, excuse us while we sit back, put our feet up on the footstool and eat bonbons while we laugh our asses off.

OK, we’re back now.

A story by Joan Walsh at Salon.com last week said, “Obama is stumbling in the stimulus debate — and public support is dropping — because for 30 years Republicans have lied about the role of government. Now he’s got to tell the truth.”

That’s right. Obama is flailing around like an inmate in a straight jacket because Republicans lied. Because big government is good. Because taxes aren’t high enough.

Admittedly, we merely skimmed the article. Does anyone know if it mentions Democrats deserting Obama like rats off a sinking ship? Or the series of ethical lapses unmatched in the early days of any administration? Or the rhetoric not matching the reality?

This story really upsets us. Because hate it when other writers are funnier than we are.

Obama names Republican to head Commerce, then takes away his responsibilities

acornHispanic and black groups didn’t like the idea of Republican Judd Gregg being named Commerce Secretary and having responsibility for the census. No, no, no. Didn’t like it at all.

So President Obama compliantly stripped census responsibilities away from Gregg and said the Director of the Census would now report directly to the White House. Republicans know that when Obama said “White House,” he really means Rahm Emanual, long-time Democratic political operative and nastiest man in Washington, DC.

The census is important politically because it is used to re-apportion congressional districts and to dole out federal funding. So it probably won’t be long before ACORN volunteers are hired to handle the census as efficiently as they already handle voter registration.

Consider it corruption you can believe in.

Lefty Krugman likes Republican stimulus plan. Kinda. Sorta.

Don’t get too carried away with the headline. In reality, he doesn’t like either “stimulus” plan. He just likes Obama’s plan less than the Republican plan.

“Mr. Obama got nothing in return for his bipartisan outreach,” Paul Krugman concluded a recent article. “Not one Republican voted for the House version of the stimulus plan, which was, by the way, better focused than the original administration proposal.”

Krugman’s faint praise is like saying, “Your second ugliest sister is prettier than your ugliest sister.”

But he doesn’t really want to kiss either of them.

“The War on Terror” now hate speech

Words matter according to President Obama. Especially when they might offend the sensitive terrorists of the world.

“Words matter in this situation,” Obama told Anderson Cooper, “because one of the ways we’re going to win this struggle is through the battle of hearts and minds.”

Obama thinks we can cozy up to moderate Muslims if we choose our words carefully. So “The War on Terror” is out. Instead, Obama uses inoffensive but meaningless platitudes like “the enduring struggle against terrorism and extremism.”

Obviously, with all the tax cheats running rampant in his administration, Obama hasn’t had time to work up a catchy new phrase to replace “The War on Terror.” So we’re here to help. How about:

“The Obama Thrill-O-Rama”
 or
“The Dynamite Vest Dance Recital.”
 or
“57 Virgin Tour 2009”

We’re here for you, Barack. Call us anytime.

Matthews: I love to think with him

Not since Chris Mathews told us of the tingling sensation he gets up his leg when he hears Obama speak, has he shown off his Obama mancrush with such affection and enchantment as he did last night. If only he’d held back until this Saturday, Valentines Day, it would have been perfect.

During a special edition of Countdown, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews poured his heart out to Barack. He said that he was “very impressed with [Obama’s] amazing ability,” and told us that his guy was “at his best intellectually.” But, he really showed his affection with this comment: “What a mind he has, and I love his ability to do it on television. I love to think with him.”

Making sure not to leave out anyone else in his circle of friends, he added, “I think our breed looked pretty good tonight. I think the press looked very good tonight. I think they asked great questions. I loved, I would be very impressed with the press tonight.”

Love isn’t just in the air, it’s on the air.

Ahmadinejad wants change he can believe in

Ahmadinejad
image by Flickr's azrainman

Unfortunately, the change the Iranian leader wants is a change in U.S. policy.

Last week, Obama did as he said he would do and extended an olive branch to Iran with no pre-conditions. But Iran’s leaders made it clear they have no interest in talking to Obama unless we change our policies.

Just as conservatives have warned for years, Obama’s offer was misinterpreted by the extremist Islamic government. They said Obama’s willingness to reach out to Ahmadinejad “means Western ideology has become passive, that capitalist thought and the system of domination have failed.”

How is this possible? We’re we told that all our enemies would magically become our friends the moment Obama was elected?

We just feel so used.

Franken says, “Don’t forget me. I cheated on my taxes, too.”

al_franken_lying_liarsAl Franken, the Minnesota Democratic senatorial candidate, apparently considers Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle to be role models. Because the unfunny former comedian still owes more than $70,000 in back taxes, interest and penalties to 17 states.

When the problems were discovered, Franken immediately threw his accountant of 18 years under the bus. The poor accountant could only say, “I’ve been told to say ‘no comment.’”

Referring to Daschle’s withdrawal, President Obama said, “Ultimately it’s important for this administration to send a message that there aren’t two sets of rules. You know, one for prominent people and one for ordinary folks who have to pay their taxes.”

If Franken’s senate bid proves unsuccessful, Obama is reported to be considering him for a position in his administration. “He has all the qualifications we’re looking for,” said one fictional administration spokesperson.

Bush says rendition, Panetta says retraction

In the words of SNL’s Roseanne Roseannadanna, “Never mind.” Looks like another misstep – or misstatement – from those wild and crazy guys in the Obama administration.

Leon Panetta was forced to retract a previous statement in which he said the Bush administration sent terrorism suspects overseas to be tortured.

“I am not aware,” Panetta confessed, “of the validity of those claims.” What that means in plain English is, “I lied and got caught. Now get off my back.”

Panetta admitted that the Obama administration would continue the Bush policy of sending foreign detainees to other countries for questioning, but only with assurances they will not be tortured.

So let’s see. Obama’s pulling out of Iraq, but not really. Obama’s closing Gitmo, but not really. Obama’s stopping rendition, but not really.

We believe everything this administration says, but not really.

Liberal talk radio dies in DC today

Ahh...a breath of fresh air in D.C.
Ahh...it just smells better in D.C.

The air seems a little cleaner in the nation’s capitol today. Lib talk radio is dead in the District of Columbia.

WWRC-AM had marketed itself as “Obama 1260,” proving that the FCC doesn’t consider stupidity to be sufficient grounds for revocation of a broadcast license. The station has now flipped to a business talk/news format.

Losing affiliates is nothing new for Stephanie Miller, Ed Schultz, Bill Press, Ron Reagan, Rachel Maddow and Lionel. But the loss of the Washington, DC market is a particularly harsh blow for liberal talk radio, because the format is rapidly running out off major markets in which it can be dumped.

Miller, often referred to as the rising star of libtalk, has lost market after market and now retains affiliates in just 11 of the top 50 markets. Like many lib talk stations, WWRC ranked dead last in the Washington, DC ratings, 30th out of 30 stations.

As of today, Miller, Schultz, Press, Reagan, Maddow and Lionel are on the street, where they will presumably organize protests and carry picket signs calling for the re-introduction of the Fairness Doctrine.

Stephanopoulos condemns Obama’s “bi-partisan nirvana”

george_stephanopoulosIgnoring the fact that Republicans were shut out of writing the “stimulus” bill, George Stephanopoulos said Sunday that President Obama has been too bi-partisan.

“Some White House officials I talk to concede that he put too much emphasis on ‘non-partisan nirvana’ rather than on getting the job done,” Stephanopoulos said.

Then Stephanopoulos momentarily lost concentration and gave a more realistic assessment. “Because the White House set the goal of bi-partisanship, maybe even 80 Senate votes, this does have the feel of a failure, even though it’s a great success.”

Please allow us to make a pithy observation.

“The difference between the Obama administration and the Reagan administration? One has the fear of failure. The other had a failure of fear.

– IHateTheMedia.com, 2009

You can quote us.

NY Times writer fantasizes about Obama sudsing up in the shower

photo: Flickr's Idiay
photo: Flickr's Idiay

We present the following excerpts from a NY Times column by Judith Warner, without comment. After all, what could we say that could top this stuff?

“The other night I dreamt of Barack Obama. He was taking a shower right when I needed to get into the bathroom to shave my legs, and then he was being yelled at by my husband, Max, for smoking in the house. It was not clear whether Max was feeling protective of the president’s health or jealous because of the cigarette.”

“The other day a friend of mine confided that in the weeks leading up to the election, the Obamas’ apparent joy as a couple had made her just miserable. Their marriage looked so much happier than hers. Their life seemed so perfect.”

We had the same dream the other night. Except instead of Barack Obama, it was Jessica Alba. We’re hoping to have the same dream again tonight.

You, too, can write for IHateTheMedia.com

Want to write a story for IHateTheMedia.com? It’s really simple. Just fill in the blanks in the following story.

“It was with deep regret today that President Obama’s nominee for (fill in the blank) withdrew (his/her) name from consideration for (fill in the job). “The fact that (fill in name) didn’t pay (his/her) taxes was a simple mistake anyone could have made,” said President Obama. “I regret that (fill in name) fell victim to partisan politics.”

(Fill in the blank with a side-splitting, hilarious, smartass comment).”

To be completely impartial, it’s equally easy to write for most of the media. In fact, it’s even easier because there are fewer blanks to fill in. For example, see the following story.

“It was with deep regret today that President Obama’s nominee for (fill in the blank) withdrew (his/her) nomination today for (fill in the job). “The fact that (fill in name) didn’t pay (his/her) taxes was a simple mistake anyone could have made,” said President Obama. “I regret that (fill in name) fell victim to partisan politics.”

(Fill in this blank with a completely sympathetic statement about the president and, if possible, say something derogatory about conservatives).”

And you thought being a journalist was a tough job.

Cher says Republicans almost killed her. Can’t they do anything right?

We’ve heard for years that Republicans don’t have that killer instinct. Apparently, it’s true. Multiple plastic surgery survivor Cher says that living under Republican rule almost killed her.

And she was just getting started. She also said she can’t fathom why anyone wants to be a Republican and that President Obama’s “intelligence” and “spirit” is “so great” he will accomplish “more than anyone could possibly do.”

When asked to explain her comment that Republicans almost “killed” her, the diva was a tad hazy on details.

“My face has been stretched so tight I can barely open my lips,” she may as well have said, “but that doesn’t stop me from saying really stupid things.”

Roosevelt had fireside chats, Obama has primetime blabbers

Obama Press ConferenceNetwork TV was seduced by the sound of Obama’s voice. But now they’ve had about enough of it in primetime.

At a time when the network are struggling for every rating point and fighting for every advertising dollar, President Obama is making the situation even worse.

When the president speaks, networks go to commercial-free coverage. Obama’s repeated primetime appearances are costing the networks millions of dollars in advertising revenue they desperately need.

“His economic stimulus package,” noted one network executive, “apparently does not extend to the TV networks.”

All we need here is a little creative product placement. How about if Obama does his next primetime address while wearing one of those funky blankets with arms. Run a little graphic down at the bottom of the screen that says, “This presidential address brought to you by Snuggies.”

Problem solved. Thank you very much.

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