Category: Television

O’Reilly calls Helen Thomas “Wicked Witch,” she flies off handle

Get the headline? He said she sounds like a witch. Witches ride brooms. Brooms have handles. Thomas flew off the handle. Therefore, we were also saying Thomas is a witch.

Damn, we hate it when the explanation of the headline is longer than the headline itself.

So back to the subject at hand. Bill O’Reilly calls White House reporter Helen Thomas the “Wicked Witch of the East.”

Courtney Martin, a representative from the Women’s Media Center, has a tizzy. She calls O’Reilly sexist for using a cliché about women as witches. O’Reilly wraps things up by telling Martin that she and the WMC “are being used by the left to do this nonsense.”

Seriously, Bill, you may have gone too far this time. Calling Helen Thomas a witch is wrong. Just plain wrong. It’s offensive to witches everywhere.

Did the Chinese fake their space walk? Hmmmmm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us8xLsQ1MIE&eurl=http://presurfer.blogspot.com/We’re not conspiracy theory wackos. We absolutely believe American astronauts walked on the moon. Twelve of them on six different missions. They loped around, smacked golf balls, drove that little dune buggy, all that stuff.

But take a look at this video. It claims to reveal the truth behind the Chinese space walk. And it really makes you wonder if there was a little Sino-sleight of hand going on.

We hate the American media. They’ve proven they’re untrustworthy. But what’s this world coming to when you can’t trust the Chinese media?

Muslim leader in Buffalo loses his mind, wife loses her head

buffalo_beheading_coupleIn one of the strangest ironies yet, the founder of the BridgesTV network that was formed to improve the image of Muslim-Americans in the United States was just arrested for beheading his wife.

Muzzammil Hassan, a prominent Buffalo, New York area businessman, is charged with second-degree murder for beheading wife Aasiya Z. Hassan at his company’s office on Thursday.

Will this tragic story get much airplay on the mainstream media? Probably not. The media in this country doesn’t like to report any news that puts a Muslim in bad light.

We just have one question: he beheaded his wife and was only charged with second degree murder? What the hell do you have to do to get charged with first degree murder in Buffalo?

Janeane Garofalo just called you an a-hole

janeane_garofalo__tattooThe lovely and gracious Janeane Garofalo has favored us with another of her sophisticated comments.

We don’t want to imply that the former Air America shrew’s career is in the dumper, but she did an interview with an “environmental celebrity blog.” Good lord, Janeane, that’s one step below talking to IHateTheMedia.com.

“The reason a person is a conservative republican is because something is wrong with them. Again, that’s science – that’s neuroscience. You cannot be well adjusted, open-minded, pluralistic, enlightened and be a republican. It’s counter-intuitive. And they revel in their anti-intellectualism. They revel in their cruelty.”

“…First you have to be an a**hole and then comes the conservatism. You gotta be a d*** to cleave onto their ideology…”

“I really believe that if a neuroscientist examined the brain of somebody who identified as a conservative, they would find it’s wired differently.”

One can only hope, Janeane. One can only hope.

Great News: Harry Reid says income taxes are voluntary!

Here’s an absolutely remarkable video in which Senate majority leader Harry Reid repeatedly explains to a dumbfounded interviewer that paying income taxes is completely voluntary.

Please keep in mind that Reid’s the guy in charge of getting the trillion dollar “stimulus” package through the senate. This is the guy who’s supposedly in charge of writing the tax code. And as far as we can tell, this must be the guy who served as Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle’s tax advisor.

We’d like to pause now to extend our warmest congratulations to Barbara Boxer. As a result of this video, there is now proof that she is no longer the dumbest member of the United States Senate.

NPR embarrassed by Juan Williams, taxpayers embarrassed by NPR

juan williamsNPR is supposed to stand for National Public Radio. But based on their latest flap with liberal commentator Juan Williams, the initials seem to stand for No Public Relations.

“Last year,” said Alicia Shepard, an NPR ombudsman, “378 listeners emailed me complaints and frustrations about things Williams said on Fox. The listener themes are similar: Williams ‘dishonors NPR.’ He’s an ‘embarrassment to NPR.’ NPR should severe their relationship with him.’”

Ellen Weiss, Vice President of News at NPR, is so concerned about it that she “has asked Williams to ask that Fox remove his NPR identification whenever he is on O’Reilly.”

All this simply because Williams occasionally deviates from the officially-scripted leftwing line.

In other news, NPR reported that 647 listeners complained that Lenin was too conservative, Marx was a rightwing lackey, and Mao was a fascist. All three have now asked O’Reilly to stop identifying them as communists.

We’re in love with a 25-year old Virgin

We hate the media, but we love Richard Branson’s uncanny ability to manipulate it.

Branson’s Virgin Atlantic airline is celebrating its 25th anniversary with a new TV commercial. It features a sexy, red-suited female cabin crew walking through an otherwise gloomy airport prior to the airline’s inaugural flight in 1984.

Great Britain’s Advertising Standards Authority has received 29 complaints that the ad campaign is sexist and insulting to women. The complaints say the campaign uses sex to sell the airline.

Egad, gadzooks and forsooth! (Do they still say that in England?). Richard Branson using sex to sell? They must be mistaken.

We say, let’s make Richard Branson a citizen and elect him president (Don’t send letters — we know it would be unconstitutional).

Seriously, this is a guy who could say, “Yes we can” and really mean it.

Fox child porn producer’s twitter page

Aaron Bruns Twitter page photo, in Obama '08 chair
Aaron Bruns Twitter page photo, in Obama

The press has been reporting that Aaron Bruns was a Fox producer covering the Hillary Clinton campaign. But Bruns’ twitter page makes it clear he was covering Joe Biden.

The most surprising thing about the page is that Bruns’ tweets are so remarkably pedestrian. Mind-numbingly dull, in fact.

We’ve only been able to make them interesting by taking them completely out of context and making it appear that they have some salacious meaning, which they didn’t.

“Hey there! abruns is using Twitter.”

“CNN has icecream!”

“Biden said…”children are off limits.”

“this is beyond disappointing. This is beyond disappointing. This is wrong.”

“Beautiful Reno, NV, where every hotel room has too many mirrors”

“i’m getting hard. i’m a hard guy.”

“…wondering how Trojan condoms got a spot so close to the Pepsi Center… and what the hell is in their inflatable tent???”

Next time you can’t sleep, read Bruns’ twitter page. You will soon be sleeping in the sweet, sweet arms of Morpheus.

Joy Behar is an incoherent plagarist. Whoopi Goldberg says, “Hey, that’s my job.”

On Thursday, February 5, Time Magazine said Republican critics of the President’s “stimulus” plan are like the geese that caused the crash of US Airways Flight 1549.

“It’s hard to take Republican leaders too seriously when they criticize the recovery plans for the economy; it’s sort of like those geese criticizing the evacuation plans for US Airways Flight 1549.”

On Tuesday, February 10, Joy Behar, one of the harpies on ABC’s The View, liked the line so much that she decided to “borrow” it. Problem is, Behar delivered her version of the line almost incoherently.

“You know, Obama’s like that pilot Sullenberg…berger, who, you know, and the Republicans are like the geese that flew into the, you know, it’s like they’re stopping the plane.”

Hard to believe that someone paid to express her opinions expresses them so poorly.

See what we mean on the video.

Cafferty: Obama sticking pins in Nancy Pelosi doll

jack-caffertyCNN’s Jack Cafferty blames Nancy Pelosi for the Democrats problems. What problems? Didn’t we officially change the name of this country to Paradise on Inauguration Day?

“Democrats are squandering their advantage and threatening to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory,” Cafferty wrote. “Under [Pelosi’s] leadership, House Democrats excluded Republicans from having any voice in crafting the stimulus package.”

“…Democrats busily loaded up the bill with stuff they had been unable to get for eight years…All while Americans lose their homes, their jobs, and their savings. It was both childish and disgraceful.”

“My guess is President Obama is busy these days sticking pins in his Nancy Pelosi doll.”

Our guess is President Obama also has a Chatty Joey doll. You pull the string and it says something stupid.

Northern Ireland bans British global warming commercials

Sammy Wilson, Northern Ireland’s outspoken environment minister, has banned the British government’s climate change TV commercials. He said their message is “insidious propaganda.”

Wilson believes we should learn to cope with natural climate change, rather than waste our resources attempting to slow down a “man-made” problem.

The objectionable TV commercials are part of the British government’s “Act on CO2″ campaign. They encourage the public to reduce its use of electricity and fossil fuels.

The British responded by saying, “We’ll deal with Sammy Wilson and the global warming problem as soon as we can get all this damn snow off the streets.”

King beats Olbermann, Fox beats everyone

Highlights of this week’s cable news ratings. Fox continues its run of dominant ratings thanks to growing dissatisfaction with the Keystone Kops administration in Washington, DC. Larry King topped Keith Olbermaniac. Rachel Maddow climbed back into the top ten dispite rather lackluster numbers.

Here’s a look at the top ten cable TV shows for February 11, 2009:

Network Program Total Audience
Fox News O’Reilly 3,494,000
Fox News Hannity 2,658,000
Fox News Beck 2,370,000
Fox News Baier 2,305,000
Fox News Shep Smith 2,190,000
Fox News Greta 1,847,000
CNN King 1,761,000
MSNBC Olbermann 1,485,000
CNN Cooper 1,286,000
CNN Blitzer 1,246,000
MSNBC Maddow 1,240,000

UPDATE: Math was never our strong suit. Looks like Maddow didn’t climb into the top ten after all. Her show was actually Number 11.

UPDATE: Detail of Aaron Bruns’ disgusting kiddie porn charges

Aaron Bruns
Aaron Bruns

Details of the child porn charges against a Fox News producer are even more disgusting than originally feared. Videos and photos on 29-year old Aaron Bruns’ laptop computer reportedly show “children under the age of ten being sexually abused by adult men and women.” Law enforcement officials indicate some of the children may be as young as five.

Sadly, this isn’t Bruns’ first child porn problem. He had been sentenced to three years probation after pleading guilty to distributing child porn over the internet back in 1999. At the time, police said they had found 6,000 pornographic images of children on his laptop computer at the University of Michigan.

WARNING: A copy of the affidavit in support of Bruns’ arrest warrant can be found by clicking on the following links. It is not for the squeamish, because it contains graphic detail about the vile nature of the porn found on Bruns’ laptop.

Aaron Bruns Affidavit Page 1
Aaron Bruns Affidavit Page 2

Lefty Krugman likes Republican stimulus plan. Kinda. Sorta.

Don’t get too carried away with the headline. In reality, he doesn’t like either “stimulus” plan. He just likes Obama’s plan less than the Republican plan.

“Mr. Obama got nothing in return for his bipartisan outreach,” Paul Krugman concluded a recent article. “Not one Republican voted for the House version of the stimulus plan, which was, by the way, better focused than the original administration proposal.”

Krugman’s faint praise is like saying, “Your second ugliest sister is prettier than your ugliest sister.”

But he doesn’t really want to kiss either of them.

“The War on Terror” now hate speech

Words matter according to President Obama. Especially when they might offend the sensitive terrorists of the world.

“Words matter in this situation,” Obama told Anderson Cooper, “because one of the ways we’re going to win this struggle is through the battle of hearts and minds.”

Obama thinks we can cozy up to moderate Muslims if we choose our words carefully. So “The War on Terror” is out. Instead, Obama uses inoffensive but meaningless platitudes like “the enduring struggle against terrorism and extremism.”

Obviously, with all the tax cheats running rampant in his administration, Obama hasn’t had time to work up a catchy new phrase to replace “The War on Terror.” So we’re here to help. How about:

“The Obama Thrill-O-Rama”
 or
“The Dynamite Vest Dance Recital.”
 or
“57 Virgin Tour 2009”

We’re here for you, Barack. Call us anytime.

Fox News Producer Aaron Bruns arrested on child porn charges

Aaron Bruns
Aaron Bruns

TVNewser is reporting that Fox News Channel producer Aaron Bruns has been arrested and charged with one count of possession of child pornography. A Fox News spokesperson told TVNewser, “We are aware of the arrest and he is currently suspended without pay.”

Bruns has been with FNC in the Washington, D.C. bureau for over six years. He was an embedded producer with the Hillary Clinton campaign last year.

FishbowlDC further reports that Bruns’ was previously arrested on charges of distributing child porn in 1999. Fox News told TVNewser that his criminal record did not surface as he was hired in 2002, one year before Fox News instituted background checks.

We usually end with a clever line here, but there’s nothing funny about this. All we’ve got to say is, if he’s quilty, hang him high.

Update: The Smoking Gun says, “According to an arrest warrant affidavit filed in U.S. District Court, an FBI search of a Dell laptop in Bruns’s Washington, D.C. home turned up several photos and videos showing the sexual abuse of children as young as five years old.”

Update:The original video has been pulled, so we replaced it with a photo of him. If anyone has a new link to the video (not the one with Hilary), please let us know.

Matthews: I love to think with him

Not since Chris Mathews told us of the tingling sensation he gets up his leg when he hears Obama speak, has he shown off his Obama mancrush with such affection and enchantment as he did last night. If only he’d held back until this Saturday, Valentines Day, it would have been perfect.

During a special edition of Countdown, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews poured his heart out to Barack. He said that he was “very impressed with [Obama’s] amazing ability,” and told us that his guy was “at his best intellectually.” But, he really showed his affection with this comment: “What a mind he has, and I love his ability to do it on television. I love to think with him.”

Making sure not to leave out anyone else in his circle of friends, he added, “I think our breed looked pretty good tonight. I think the press looked very good tonight. I think they asked great questions. I loved, I would be very impressed with the press tonight.”

Love isn’t just in the air, it’s on the air.

Saddam Hussein loved the sound of Dan Rather’s voice.

"No one is listening...must be a party line"
"No one is listening...must be a party line"

Remember Dan Rather’s interview with Saddam Hussein before the start of the war in Iraq? Rather told reporters he practiced all his questions while standing in front of a mirror in his hotel room.

But in a new book, “Hide and Seek: The Search for Truth in Iraq,” author Charles Duelfer notes that Saddam had Baghdad so heavily bugged that he undoubtedly heard every word of Rather’s rehearsal.

“It is simply surprising,” observed Duelfer, “that someone as worldly as Dan Rather would not assume his room was bugged in one of the most security-conscious regimes on the planet.”

Surprising that Rather could be stupid? If you believe that, I have some phony National Guard documents I’d like to sell you.

Global warming drives people insane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnze-_4_DpgA horribly depressed 17-year old Aussie boy was admitted last year to the psychiatric until at Melbourne’s Royal Children’s Hospital.

So worried about global warming was the young man that he refused to drink water. Australian doctors termed the condition “climate change delusion.”

“Climate change could have a real impact on our psyches,” says Paul Epstein, associate director of Harvard Medical School’s Center for Health and the Global Environment.

Experts at the IHateTheMedia.com School of Medicine have dubbed the condition Gore Syndrome. Common symptoms include delusions of grandeur, rapid weight gain, and shriveling of the portion of the brain that controls logic.

Stephanopoulos condemns Obama’s “bi-partisan nirvana”

george_stephanopoulosIgnoring the fact that Republicans were shut out of writing the “stimulus” bill, George Stephanopoulos said Sunday that President Obama has been too bi-partisan.

“Some White House officials I talk to concede that he put too much emphasis on ‘non-partisan nirvana’ rather than on getting the job done,” Stephanopoulos said.

Then Stephanopoulos momentarily lost concentration and gave a more realistic assessment. “Because the White House set the goal of bi-partisanship, maybe even 80 Senate votes, this does have the feel of a failure, even though it’s a great success.”

Please allow us to make a pithy observation.

“The difference between the Obama administration and the Reagan administration? One has the fear of failure. The other had a failure of fear.

– IHateTheMedia.com, 2009

You can quote us.

“Nastiest human being ever” defends Christian Bale

Whoopi Goldberg, one of the loose cannons on ABC’s The View, has come to the defense of Christian Bale after his obscenity-laden recording surfaced on the internet.

“We don’t know if this (incident happened) at the end of the day, we don’t know how many hours (he had) been working,” Goldberg said. “It’s tough. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I too have gone off on people, because if you’re a professional, you know what you’re not supposed to do.”

Far be it from us to inject a personal note, but IHateTheMedia.com has a very good friend who worked with Goldberg on a project several years ago. He said, and we quote, “Whoopi Goldberg is the nastiest human being I’ve ever met.”

Unfortunately, that seems to make her the perfect character reference for Bale.

Roosevelt had fireside chats, Obama has primetime blabbers

Obama Press ConferenceNetwork TV was seduced by the sound of Obama’s voice. But now they’ve had about enough of it in primetime.

At a time when the network are struggling for every rating point and fighting for every advertising dollar, President Obama is making the situation even worse.

When the president speaks, networks go to commercial-free coverage. Obama’s repeated primetime appearances are costing the networks millions of dollars in advertising revenue they desperately need.

“His economic stimulus package,” noted one network executive, “apparently does not extend to the TV networks.”

All we need here is a little creative product placement. How about if Obama does his next primetime address while wearing one of those funky blankets with arms. Run a little graphic down at the bottom of the screen that says, “This presidential address brought to you by Snuggies.”

Problem solved. Thank you very much.

It’s hard work figuring out how many jobs Obama’s going to create. Or save. Or whatever.

It’s bad news when even CNN starts to figure out that Obama is waffling on his promises.

“There are now questions about how many jobs Mr. Obama is promising to create,” CNN’s Ed Henry said on Anderson Cooper’s show. He used three different video clips of Obama talking about job “creation” and each clip featured a different number.

“But Republicans are now wondering if the President has been hedging a little to scale back expectations,” Henry noted.

In related news, Obama said he would have troops out of Iraq in 18 months, or 24 months, or possibly 36 months. Maybe.

Creative accounting: now Hollywood wants bail-out money

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TctjzEeNnI4The more creative you are in Hollywood, the more money you make. Especially if your specialty is accounting.

Hollywood has now lined-up with tin cups in hand, begging for an infusion of tax dollars. One provision of the “stimulus” bill would have given new film projects an immediate 50% write-off.

Republicans, lead by Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK), shamed Democrats into stripping $246 million in movie industry tax breaks from the bloated bill.

They contend Hollywood doesn’t need they money. “They had their best January ever,” Coburn said.

If one were cynical, one might assume the tax breaks were designed as a payback for the campaign dollars Hollywood showered on Obama.

To see how the Hollywood bail-out would have been structured, Democrats watched the attached instructional video.

Subway fires Phelps. Where will he go next time he gets the munchies?

Record-setting swimmer Michael Phelps just set one he’d rather not have. Subway Sandwiches has fired him in less time than it took them to negotiate the deal to hire him.

Phelps was hired in late November, fired in early February after photos of his dope smoking exploits were leaked. It’s been a bad week for Phelps, who was also dropped by cereal maker Kellogg’s for the same…uh…indiscretion.

Don’t worry, Michael. We have an idea. We think you’d be the perfect spokesperson for Nike if they’d just be willing to alter their tagline a bit. Picture this:

Michael Phelps. Just doobie it.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll be here all week.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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