Bogus poll says Rush less popular than Jeremiah Wright

According to a recent poll (view PDF of poll here), Rush Limbaugh is one of America’s the most unpopular political figures.

Calm down, relax, take a deep breath. It’s all nonsense.

The poll, conducted by the research firm Greenberg-Quinlan-Rosner, says Rush’s public-approval rating is just 21 percent among likely voters. That’s seven points lower than Reverend Jeremiah Wright and eight points lower than domestic terrorist and Obama pal Bill Ayers.

Here’s why it’s bogus. Greenberg-Quinlan-Rosner is a Democratic research firm run by Stan Greenberg. You remember Stan Greenberg. He’s the guy who joins in a daily conference call with buddies Rahm Emanuel, George Stephanopoulos, Paul Begala, and James Carville.

We thinking of conducting our own poll. How many of you think we should do it?

That was a joke. Conducting a poll. How many think we should do it? Get it?

Andrea Mitchell feels Tom Daschle’s pain

UPDATE: Our apologies. Turns out this is actually a photo of Al Capone, a completely different tax cheat.
UPDATE: Our apologies. Turns out this is actually a photo of Al Capone, a completely different tax cheat.

Andrea Mitchell feels badly for tax-dodgin’ Tom Daschle. She really does.

“I just got off the phone with Tom Daschle,” she said sympathetically on MSNBC. “And it was an emotional conversation…it sounded as though he were tearful, overwrought.”

When Republican Senator Jim DeMint contended that Democrat support for Daschle’s nomination had wavered, Mitchell was clearly upset. “You can say that the Democrats were uncomfortable as well,” Mitchell lectured, “but they were all supporting him publicly.”

“So this does read to the public as though the Republicans went after this man,” she wondered aloud, “someone that the President very much wanted, and brought him down.”

Like opposing the confirmation of a felonious tax cheat is a bad thing?

Translating Rachel Maddow into English

rachel_maddow_the_advocateAs a public service, we occasionally feel obligated to translate some of the crap found in the media. In this case, we find ourselves translating a Rachel Maddow interview in the NY Daily News.

“During the election last year, Maddow established herself as one of the big three at MSNBC, which had its best run ever, with her show following Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann.” (Translation: Her initial ratings were through the roof, but they are sinking faster than the Titanic.)

“But she was a charter host on Air America in March 2004, so she and the radio network have now figured out a way to give her an ongoing presence there.” (Translation: Maddow dumped Air America because low-rated television hosts make a lot more money than low-rated radio hosts.)

“She also notes that she and her MSNBC colleagues ‘don’t exactly march in lockstep. Sometimes when we’re doing a panel, we have no agreement at all.'” (Translation: Some of them are Stalinists while others are Maoists.)

We feel like one of those guys at the UN with the earphones and microphone who instantaneously translate speeches from Urdu to Tagalog. Except that translating Liberal is a lot tougher.

Groundhog bites Bloomberg, will do it again in six weeks

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0nCJKzTUKnEA little unsolicited advice: Never ask New York mayor Michael Bloomberg to pet sit while you’re on vacation. Let’s just say he’s not good with animals.

In an attempt to set up a good photo opportunity yesterday, Bloomberg manhandled the Staten Island Zoo’s ground hog. It responded to Bloomberg’s gentle touch by taking a bite out of his hand.

“They were definitely wrestling there for awhile,” a zoo representative said. “They definitely looked like they were involved in a tussle.”

Tussle? Bloomberg looked like he was competing in a greased pig contest.

Final score: Groundhog 1, Bloomberg 0.

Obama probably wishes Biden hadn’t paid his taxes

Ahhh, that wacky Joe Biden. He can always be counted on to embarrass his new boss. You may remember a couple weeks ago when he poked fun at Chief Justice Roberts’ flubbing Obama’s oath of office by saying, “My memory is not as good as Chief Justice Roberts’.” (View top video)

Well, yesterday it was Biden’s turn to put his verbal inadequacy on display. There he was at the State Department, swearing in new Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Prior to the oath, the crowd had chanted “Get it right, get it right, get it right.” Nevertheless, Joe tripped over his words – doing exactly that for which he had chastised Roberts. (View lower video)

We pray that Joe has paid all of his taxes. Because this guy’s going to give us a ton of material in the next four years.

Orson Welles. Everything Christian Bale will never be. Except dead.

Most Christian Bale fans won’t know the name Orson Welles. So please allow us to contrast the two:

Welles was called The Boy Genius. Bale isn’t.

Welles was an Academy Award-winning actor, director, writer and producer. Bale isn’t.

Welles wrote, produced, directed and starred in Citizen Kane, often called the greatest film ever made. Bale played Batman.

Welles also had a magnificent voice. In the later years of his life, he was paid obscene amounts of money to use that voice in commercials. The attached audio track is famous. It’s made up of out-takes from a London recording session in which Welles picks some unfortunate English ad agency people to pieces. But unlike Bale, he does it without losing his dignity.

Orson Welles is dead and Christian Bale is alive. Definite proof that life isn’t fair.

Please see our previous story today called Christian Bale is a stinkin’ #%&*@ to hear Bale’s audio. Contrast the two.

Christian Bale is a stinkin’ #%&*@

audio_iconA few months ago, actor Christian Bale went nuts while filming “Terminator Salvation.”

Some poor lighting guy made the mistake of walking into a shot while cameras were rolling. Bale stopped production while he publicly humiliated the poor guy, repeatedly berated him in the crudest possible terms, and despite the man’s apologies, threatened to beat him to a pulp.

TMZ.com got its hands on a tape of the incident. If you choose to listen, be prepared for some major league swearing. You’ll hear Bale screaming obscenities over and over again and threatening to quit if the guy isn’t fired.

According to TMZ, the tape was sent to the producers’ insurance firm as evidence in case Bale bailed on the film. Apparently, that is the source of the leak.

Christian Bale is #@&*% angry and someone is in big %&@!$ trouble.

WARNING: THIS AUDIO CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE

Click Audio Icon or here to play.

UPDATE: After listening to this audio, please see our subsequent post Orson Welles. Everything Christian Bale will never be. Except dead.

Was that porn during the Super Bowl or is Jake “The Snake” Plummer making a comeback?

unzipWith less than three minutes to play in Super Bowl XLIII, Tucson viewers were surprised to see a woman unzipping a man’s pants followed by “a graphic act.”

Somehow, the Super Bowl feed was switched with a 30-second excerpt from an adult cable TV channel.

“I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up,” one female viewer said. “Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out.”

“We will investigate what happened and make sure our viewers get answers,” said the company president, Gary Nielsen.

Here at IHateTheMedia.com, we will do everything within our power to get to the bottom of this. We’ll start by interviewing Jenna Jameson.

Pelosi: “Every month…500,000,000 Americans lose their jobs”

Here’s another one to add to the “Best of Nancy Pelosi” reel. Nancy “The Genius” Pelosi says that every month we don’t pass the economic stimulus bill, another 500 million Americans lose their jobs.

She must be including illegal aliens.

Loser lefty talker wants Limbaugh to die

mike_malloyThe bad news is that Mike Malloy, perhaps the world’s most vile talk show host, actually said he wants Rush Limbaugh to die.

“Some horrifyingly intense America-hater like Rush Limbaugh, who appears to be morphing into, seriously, he is morphing into Jabba the Hutt. Um, I’ve seen some recent video, this guy is enormous. He just keeps bloating up. It’s, it’s just, I hope he keeps going because that means he will soon croak. Like I said, eventually, he will choke to death on his own throat fat.” (Click here for audio)

The good news is that no one heard him say it. Malloy’s program is carried by only 12 affiliates, some in markets so small they’re ignored by rating services. Rush is on more than 600 stations and probably has more listeners on one station (KFI in Los Angeles, for example) than all of Malloy’s listeners combined.

Malloy is an insignificant pimple on Rush’s butt. Not a pretty thought, but also not inaccurate.

Why tax-dodgin’ Tom Daschle needs a limo and chauffeur

Suddenly, we feel bad for tax-dodgin’ Tom Daschle. Maybe we should all just cut him a little slack.

We just learned that he was such a dedicated public servant during his days in Washington, DC that he drove an old junker instead of buying a new car. Here’s one of his old campaign commercials to prove what a hard-working, stand-up guy he was is.

“Maybe he’s sentimental,” the voiceover intones, “Or just cheap. Whatever the case, isn’t it too bad that Washington doesn’t understand that a penny saved is a penny earned?”

We can all learn a lesson from Tom Daschle: Your money goes much further when you don’t pay a penny in taxes.

Watch the commercial. Laugh at it knowing that this pompous ass has finally been exposed.

Jim Cramer compares Obama to Lenin

cramer_leninCNBC “Mad Money” host Jim Cramer sees some scary similarities between the words of President Obama and those of communist revolutionary Vladimir Lenin.

Obama dogged Wall Street by saying there would be a time “for them to make profits, and there will be time for them to get bonuses. Now’s not that time. And that’s a message that I intend to send directly to them.”

Cramer made this comparison: “There was a little snippet last week that was, ‘Now is not the time for profits.’ Look – in Lenin’s book, “What Is to Be Done,” is simple text of what I always though was for the communists. It was remarkable to hear very similar language from ‘What Is to Be Done?’ which is we have no place for profits.”

What’s really frightening about this whole thing is that we find ourselves agreeing with Cramer.

But it’s not something we’re proud of.

Chick fight! Ashley Judd vs. Sarah Palin

Take that Sarah!
Ashley has the first move on Sarah but the fight is not over yet!

Oh, this should be good. Really good. One of Hollywood’s hottest actresses versus America’s hottest governor.

Actress Ashley Judd and Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund have teamed up to target Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s environmental record. They’re upset because Palin allegedly promotes the aerial killing of wolves in Alaska.

“It is time,” Judd says, “to stop Sarah Palin and stop this senseless savagery.”

We have a deeply held belief that all disputes should be settled through civil discourse. To advance that cause, we believe the only way for Judd and Palin to resolve their dispute is a mud wrestling match. We’ll referee.

Please send our Nobel Peace Prize to us in care of IHateTheMedia.com.

Streisand says Obama is intelligent and smart

dumb_and_dumber1This may be obvious and apparent, but Barbra Streisand is redundant and repetitive.

“It was the most thrilling thing to watch this man Obama, Barack Obama, become the president of United States,” Streisand said. “It’s such a wonderful thing for our country and our world. He’s so intelligent and so smart.”

She made her reiterative comment while promoting the DVD release of her 25-year old flopped and failed movie Yentl.

Barbra Streisand, nutcase. But now that we think about it, that seems to be a little redundant, too.

NEWS FLASH: NY Times discovers McCain a war hero, Barack a liberal 


In Saturday’s “Pentagon Memo,” NY Times reporter Elisabeth Bumiller reveals news sure to come as a revelation to readers of the Times.

“The military is not a monolith,” Bumiller reported, “but it is safe to say that Mr. Obama was not its candidate in the 2008 election. His antiwar comments ignited the left but struck many in the armed services as naïve. His Republican opponent, Senator John McCain, was a war hero.”

Obama’s a liberal? McCain’s a war hero? Good grief, man, this is one of the greatest coups in the history of investigative journalism. Eat your hearts out, Woodward & Bernstein. Start engraving the Pulitzer Prizes.

This kind of scoop could turn around the election. What’s that? The election is over? Obama’s already been sworn in as president?

Thanks a lot New York Times. Thanks a lot.

Federal gas tax to increase $2.40/gallon?

"Hand it over. It's only another $2.40/gallon."
"Hand it over. It's only another $2.40/gallon."

If New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman has his way, gas taxes will go up. Way up. He wants to slap an additional $2.40 per gallon in taxes on top of the 18.4¢ you already pay.

“Today’s financial crisis is Obama’s 9/11,” Friedman wrote. “The public is ready to be mobilized. Obama is coming in with enormous popularity. This is his window of opportunity to impose a gas tax. And he could make it painless: offset the gas tax by lowering payroll taxes, or phase it in over two years at 10 cents a month.”

Do the math. 10 cents a month for two years. That’s an additional $2.40 per gallon.

Of course, that probably won’t bother Friedman. He married into a very wealthy family, reportedly lives in an 11,000 sq ft mansion on a lovely 7-1/2 acre estate in Bethesda, Maryland that’s valued at nearly $10,000,000.

“Obama takes the shirt off your back. CNN sells it back to you.”

cnn_shirtCNN is cashing in on Obama-mania by selling T-shirts that they modestly and impartially call “Some of the most historic shirts money can buy.” They’re the latest designs in their “CNN headline” shirts.

Take the one shown, for example. “Obama raises hand, lifts a nation,” it impartially proclaims. If you don’t like that one, maybe you’d prefer “Obama’s era of change arrives.” Or “Obama fever spreads around the world.” Or a dozen or so different Obama designs.

This is such a good idea that we’d like to suggest a few lines for additional Obama/CNN T-shirts:

“Obama. He lifted a finger and screwed the coal industry.”

“Obama. He never met Bill Ayers. Really.”

“Obama. We worship the water he walks on.”

Wait. Here’ a better idea. Go to our IHateTheMedia.com store and buy some of our non-Obama T-shirts. It’s a much better way to spend your hard-earned money.

Neil Young to release worst album in history of music

You won’t get much of an argument from anyone if you say Neil Young is the worst singer in the history of rock ‘n roll.

Yet despite this seemingly insurmountable handicap, he’s managed to produce a couple pretty good songs over the years.

But now the aging rocker is about to release a CD completely dedicated to songs about electric cars. That’s not a typo. Electric cars. “Fork in the Road” includes catchy titles like “Cough Up the Bucks,” “Hit the Road,” “Get Around” and “Fuel Line.”

Here’s a video of the title track. Consider yourself warned.

LA Times letter: Pope was trained by Hitler

If we ran a story as vile as the following letter that ran in the LA Times today, we’d be hounded off the internet. And rightfully so. Here it is:

“The Jesuits have a saying, ‘Give me the boy until he is 7, and I will give you the man.’ You can now add, ‘Give Adolf Hitler the boy until he is 7, and he will give you the pope.’”

– Ralph Wetterhahn, Long Beach

The Times is obviously suffering from social schizophrenia. On one hand, its reporting seems to be virulently anti-Catholic. On the other hand, it supports illegal aliens at every turn, despite the fact that they are assumed to be overwhelmingly Catholic.

Must be like the war in Iraq. They support the troops, but not the mission.

Did Bob Schieffer say Republicans are racist?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYK3it70uCEThe word “racist” may not have passed Bob Schieffer’s lips, but that certainly seemed to be the implication of his commentary on Sunday’s Face the Nation.

While talking about Michael Steele, former Maryland Lieutenant Governor and newly-elected chairman of the Republican National Committee, he said:

“So it was that the party of Lincoln which had freed the slaves, but in the process had become the party of mainly white people, came full circle and turned to an African-American Moses to lead it out of the political wilderness.”

So from Schieffer’s point of view, the party that held the presidency until two weeks ago now needs to be lead out of the wilderness.

We’ve seen Charlton Heston in “The Ten Commandments” about a thousand times, so we consider ourselves to be highly-trained biblical scholars. And we have one question for Schieffer:

If Steele is Moses, doesn’t that make Obama the pharaoh?

Obama gives Wall Street a tongue-lashing. Barney Frank jealous?

obama_madBarack Obama is a man of the people. You can tell because CBS news said so. Here’s how they reported Obama’s angry reaction to big bonuses on Wall Street.

“For a man who prides himself on being cool,” said Early Show correspondent Jeff Glor, “this was a rare flash of anger, if planned. A tongue-lashing directly from the Oval Office, which is indicating now they will look to change the rules if Wall Street doesn’t itself.”

“…firms gave out $18.4 billion in bonuses to New York-based employees last year the same year the Dow Jones caved in 33%,” Glor continued. “And yes, a lot of the bonus money came from T.A.R.P. government bailout funds, taxpayer dollars.”

When reporters asked Barney Frank what he thought of Obama’s tongue-lashing, he responded with a far away, dreamy look and mumbled something that sounded like, “Be still, my heart.”

TV triplets bid $2,000,000 for octuplet story

photo by WoodlyWonderworks
photo by WoodlyWonderworks

Yes, we hate the media. With a passion. And this story demonstrates why.

Television’s talk triplets — Oprah Winfrey, ABC’s Diane Sawyer, and CBS’ Katie Couric — are reportedly involved in fierce negotiations for the first interview with Nadya Suleman. Her price tag is reportedly $2 million.

Of course, Suleman’s the wacky 33-year old California woman who recently gave birth to octuplets and is now the mother of 14 children under the age of 8.

No further comment necessary.

Obama tells advertisers to keep their hands off his face

Looks like the honeymoon is over for entrepreneurs trying to profit from the president’s image.

“Our lawyers are working on developing a policy that will protect the presidential image,” said a White House spokesperson, “while being careful not to squelch the overwhelming enthusiasm that the public has for the president.”

Obama’s “Yes We Can” campaign is being used to promote everything from do-it-yourself furniture to low-priced airfares. But our favorite is leftwing Ben & Jerry’s “Yes Pecan” ice cream flavor.

Too bad for us. We were just getting ready to launch a gazillion dollar ad campaign using that video of Obama flipping Hilary the bird. It just seems to perfectly express the philosophy at IHateTheMedia.com.

Back to the drawing boards for us.

Hannity, Grandpa Munster separated at birth?

sean_hannitygrandpa_ped

We like Sean Hannity. Especially when he lets someone else speak. We’ve never thought he was the brightest bulb in the box, but we like him. That being said, what’s the deal with his new look? And are we the only ones to have noticed that his new look looks like an old look? And when we say old, we mean he’s beginning to look just like Grandpa Munster.

As you can see, the similarities are eerie. Just like Al Lewis, the veteran actor who played Grandpa to perfection, Hannity has a new slicked back hair style. A new, even pastier complexion. The same colorful sense of fashion. And the same confused logic Grandpa was famous for.

Please send your comments to Sean Hannity, Fox News, 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

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