Category: Television

Couric: Joe Biden is the white guy!

As CBS introduced coverage of President Obama’s first address to Congress, CBS’ Katie Couric, overwhelmed with the excitement of “a little diversity” pointed out female Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and then noted that Vice President Joe Biden was “the white guy.”

Now hold on a cotton picking minute, Katie! We thought that after electing Barack Obama president, we had entered into a post-racial society. We thought pointing out a person’s color was a thing of the past. But, sadly, it looks like the “white guy” is still someone to be pointed at.

Incidentally, just before the Giveaway To America speech began, “Don’t Mess With Joe” Biden leaned over and whispered to Pelosi. An IHTM staff member well-versed in lip reading claims she caught Biden saying, “Did you hear that Bobby Jindal is on after Barack? Make’s me hungry. How about we run down to 7-Eleven or Dunkin Donuts after this?”

It was either that or something completely different. We’re not quite sure.

Via: EvilConservativeOnline

American Idolatry: Simon Cowell wants to live forever

simon_cowell1In a move sure to make thousands of singers wish they were dead, American Idol judge has announced that he wants to live forever.

The caustic American Idol judge wants to be frozen upon his death so he can be revived in the future.

“I have decided to freeze myself when I die. You know, cryonics,” he announced to dinner guests at Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s residence. “Medical science is bound to work out a way of bringing us back to life in the next century or so, and I want to be available when they do. I would be doing the nation an invaluable service.”

Fellow American Idol judge Paula Abdul has taken another approach to eternal life. Instead of being frozen, the erratic star seems to prefer getting pickled.

Source: DailyMall

Joy Behar says chimp cartoon is “an assassination threat” on Obama

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRGan85AIlAAny day now, psychiatrists are going to walk right onto the set while they’re taping The View and take Joy Behar away to a nice, padded room.

She actually said the infamous chimp cartoon is “an assassination threat” on President Obama. Seriously. She said that. We’re not making it up.

“I think you can be investigated by the FBI,” she declared, “if you make an assassination threat.”

Coming up next week on The View, Behar suggests that Angelina Jolie should adopt Little Orphan Annie, demands increased unemployment compensation for Dilbert, and congratulates Doonesbury on his enlightened drug policy.

Then, as soon as the show is over, she’ll rush off for her annual physical with Rex Morgan, M.D.

Ex-Gitmo inmates appear in Al-Qaeda video, American nets take notice

Two of the “innocent” terrorists released from Gitmo are now appearing in a chilling jihadist website video.

According to anti-terrorism experts, Abu Sufyan al-Azdi al-Shahri, or prisoner number 372, now holds an executive position with Al-Qaeda in Yemen. Abu al-Hareth Muhammad al-Oufi, or prisoner number 333, is now an Al-Qaeda field commander.

American network talent scouts, always on the prowl for talent, were quick to note the duo’s charismatic screen presence.

“We’re developing a Hannity & Colmes style show for them,” said an executive with NBC. “We’ll call it ‘al-Shahri & al-Oufi.’”

“We’re planning a Hannity & Colmes style show for them,” said an executive with MSNBC. “We’ll call it ‘Abu & Abu.’”

We’re planning a Hannity & Colmes style show for them,” said an executive with CNN. “We’ll call it ‘372 & 333.’”

Source: Sky News

Joe Biden doesn’t know the difference between a website and a telephone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71pTSTwSzK0Ahhhh, Joe Biden. Once again he’s proven that he is the comedy writer’s best friend.

This morning he went on the CBS Early Show to hype Obama’s “stimulus” program and the new government website that lets us track how our money is being spent (or China’s money, as the case may be).

Unfortunately for poor ol’ Joe, he had to admit he didn’t know what the website is. In fact, he didn’t appear to know what the internet is.

“You know, I’m embarrassed,” a flustered Biden admitted. (Looking for help off camera) “Do you know the website number? I should have it in front of me and I don’t. I’m actually embarrassed. (after receiving the information from off camera) Excuse me. It’s recovery.gov. Recovery.gov.”

What’s the website number? We just called information. It’s 1-800-BONEHEAD.

MSNBC screws up, reacts to Bobby Jindal by saying, “Oh God”

Someone on MSNBC disparagingly muttered “Oh, God” on the air last night as Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana approached the camera to give the Republican response to President Obama’s speech. And we don’t think it was because they worship the ground Jindal walks on.

We’ve never been mistaken for Aristotle, but logic tells us Chris Matthews is probably the culprit, since the loquacious host has now developed the remarkable ability to analyze a speech even before it is given.

At the beginning the evening, before Obama had uttered a word, Matthews declared that his speech was “Churchillian.” So it seems only logical that he would bookend the night by panning Jindal’s response in advance.

What caused the outburst? Some observers think the “Oh, God” comment may have slipped out during an unguarded moment of ecstasy while the obviously-smitten Matthews was imagining his man love for the president.

Either that or Keith Olbermann said it when he saw the object of his affection in a mirror.

SOURCE: Fox News

MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell run over by steamroller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAytq2Dh_SwOuch. Norah O’Donnell never saw it coming. It’s been hours now and she’s probably still woozy after the figurative beating she took from documentary maker John Ziegler.

Ziegler’s out promoting “Media Malpractice,” his new documentary, by making the rounds of all the news and talk shows. Today was MSNBC’s turn.

Based on the smug smile on O’Donnell’s face when the interview started, she though Ziegler was going to be easy pickings. She was wrong.

The former talk show host immediately went on the attack. He repeatedly and pointedly made her look like the empty-headed news babe she is (and by the way, politics aside, Norah O’Donnell is a babe).

Ziegler clearly enjoyed every moment of this interview. Norah, not so much.

For the Media Malpractice documentary, go here.

Playboy may fold (or centerfold, as the case may be)

playboy_bunny_logoThe Playboy empire may be on the auction block. If it can’t find a buyer, it has to figure out how to survive massive losses that show no sign of diminishing.

Last week, the “sophisticated” gentlemen’s magazine had a dismal conference call announcing its fourth quarter and full-year financial results. Jerome Kern, the company’s interim CEO, gulped and reported a 2008 loss of $156 million.

Kern admitted he’s “open to discussions” about a possible sale. In the last six months, the company has eliminated 80 jobs, lost its CEO (founder Hugh Hefner’s daughter Christie), moved back to Chicago, and replaced its editorial director. Critics also complain that the magazine has no internet strategy.

The magazine desperately needs to attract a younger demographic. So it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that one of its problems is that its most visible spokesman is an 82-year old man who pretends he’s sleeping with three attractive young women.

Hugh Hefner seems to have “sophistication” confused with “sophomoric.”

Source: Mediabistro

Rantin’ Rick Santelli viewed 2,500,000 times

If you think the rant by CNBC’s Rick Santelli hasn’t tapped into a reservoir of resentment across this nation, get this:

Since it went online last Thursday, the clip has been viewed more than 1,800,000 times on CNBC.com. It’s also been viewed more than 700,000 times on YouTube.com. (These numbers are growing so rapidly that they’ll be out of date by the time you read this.)

Rantin’ Rick Santelli, one media guy we don’t hate.

Source: MediaBistro

“And the Oscar for Worst Acceptance Speech goes to…”

oscars_gwyneth_paltrowBefore we leave the irrelevancy of the Oscars behind for another 363 days, let’s pause briefly to relive The Top 10 worst acceptance speeches in the history of the Academy Awards.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll pull back in horror as Jack Palance does push-ups, as Angelina Jolie creeps everyone out by kissing her brother, as Tom Hanks accidentally outs his high school drama teacher, as Sally Field thinks we really like her, and as six other Hollywood halfwits provide equally embarrassing moments.

The envelope, please.

Source: Movie-Moron.

Oscar is a commie, homo-lovin’ son of a gun. And we’re just getting started.

photo credit: Flickr's glass window
photo credit: Flickr's glass window

Sean Penn won the Best Actor award Sunday night for his portrayal of Harvey Milk, America’s first openly gay elected politician.

In accepting his award, Penn gleefully described the Academy voters as “commie, homo-loving sons of guns.” He also criticized California’s voters for their ban on gay marriage.

But let’s not forget what else Sean Penn is. He’s also a Hugo Chavez-ACLU-Mahmoud Ahmadinejad-Cindy Sheehan-Dennis Kucinich-Ralph Nader-Fidel Castro lovin’ son of a gun. He’s supported every anti-American tin horn dictator, politician and policy that’s come down the left side of the road in the last twenty-five years.

We’d like to thank the Academy. For bringing Sean Penn up on stage every few years just to remind us just how anti-American Hollywood can be.

Santelli vs. Gibbs. Let’s settle it with a duel at dawn.

Last week we witnessed the sad spectacle of the president’s press secretary attacking Rick Santelli, a reporter who made the mistake of disagreeing with part of the president’s “stimulus” plan.

“This is a copy of the President’s home affordability plan,” Gibbs drawled. “It’s available on the White House web site, and I would encourage him (to) download it. Hit print, and begin to read it.

Santelli responded in an interview with Larry Kudlow. And he responded with all the passion of his earlier comments.

“The 92% of the Americans that are paying their loan on time,” Santelli said, “do you think there’s no pain there? These people are probably cutting back, their 401(k)s are down. It’s tough. Just because they’re making their payment and they’re current, doesn’t mean they’re not cutting back as well.

“Do we want to teach our children that you can get out of a mistake and that there are do-overs?” he asked. “I just don’t think that’s American. And I read it and guess what? I still don’t like it.”

We don’t know what Robert Gibbs wants to teach his children. But we’d suggest he use part of his substantial salary to hire them a math tutor so they don’t end up as bad with numbers as their old man.

Farrah Fawcett flap over famous foto

farrah fawcettFarrah Fawcett. Red bathing suit. Blonde hair. More teeth than is anatomically possible. Oooooh, that poster.

Fawcett is now suing the pants off Bio-Graphics Inc., Pie International Inc. and T.N. Trikilis, accusing them of claiming they own exclusive rights to the photo, reproducing it and selling it. She’s demanding $100,000.

Fawcett swears up and down that she “owns and possesses all the photographs and negatives of all the photographs taken at the photo shoot.”



We’re showing you the poster in question, knowing full well that it’s virtually impossible for any man who grew up in the 70s to wipe it from his memory. Even if he wanted to.

Detroit introduces the 2009 Rosie — another fat, bloated, overpriced model no one wants

rosie o'donnellIt’s no wonder Detroit is having a love affair with Rosie O’Donnell. She’s exactly what they specialize in – products that are fat, bloated, overpriced, and with very little demand.

The angry “actress” just finished shooting a cable TV movie in Detroit. And she wants to come back again. She told the Detroit Free Press that “whatever movie we do next, we’re going to do there.” O’Donnell says she’s so touched by Detroit’s economic problems that she bought a Buick.

The movie focuses on a 17-year-old named America, who’s been bouncing around the foster care system since most of her life. O’Donnell plays his doctor.

Rosie, Rosie, Rosie. You make millions of dollars a year. If you really feel so strongly about Detroit’s problems, you should have sprung for a Cadillac.

John Gibson: Huffington Post better lawyer up!

John Gibson has come out firing against everyone involved in creating, posting and circulating the now infamous, doctored audio clip that leads listeners to believe Gibson had attributed the “bright blue scrotum” of an escaped monkey to Attorney General Eric Holder.

“Nobody, nobody involved in this should rest easy right now,” Gibson said. “Hearst Argyle, the multi-billion dollar television ownership group, whose employee John Sanders actually created the fake tape, Arrianna Huffington whose Huffington Post passed the fake quote on to the rest of the world, TVNewswer, the TV industry gossip blog, which also acted as a conduit–they all should think about lawyering up. I am not done with this.”

Update: We just found this interview from last Friday’s Breibart.TV’s “B-Cast ‘Anatomy of a Smear’: How the ‘Doctored’ John Gibson Audio Was Revealed.” In this video, the hosts are joined by Johnny Dollar (of Johnny Dollar’s Place) and Steve Krakaeur (of TV Newser). Plus they featured their extended interview with the TV reporter who ‘doctored’ the audio on his John Gibson YouTube post.

Oscar crisis: They’ve run out of colors for red carpet ribbons

whiteknot250x250Last night at the Oscars, they broke out white “knots” in support of gay marriage.

We can only assume that’s because white ribbons had already been used by too many other causes — safe motherhood, awareness of violence against women, teen pregnancy, and a host of others.

The fact is, there’s a colored ribbon crisis in Hollywood. Ever since this fad started with yellow ribbons for the Iran hostages, we’ve seen colored ribbon after colored ribbon supporting one cause after another. How are we supposed to know what cause they want us to support if each color supports multiple causes?

Are those black ribbons for the death of princess Diana, victims of Hurrricane Katrina, or melanoma awareness?

Are those blue ribbons for child abuse or prostrate cancer?

Do the green ribbons support for environmental causes or farm families?

And the purple ribbons. Are they for Alzheimer’s or epilepsy?

But here’s one thing we do know: The stars should have been wearing black-and-blue ribbons to support Rihanna.

Bill Maher’s going to have trouble finding a stockbroker

Has anyone with his own network TV show ever been unfunnier than Bill Maher? OK, maybe Bill Moyers. But we’d call it a toss-up.

Maher’s 2009 HBO show just premiered on Friday night. But he’s already in mid-season form when it comes to unfunny. He ended the season-opener with this suggestion:

“If we killed two random, rich greedy pigs, blew them up at halftime at next year’s Super Bowl, or left them hanging on the big board at the New York Stock Exchange — you know, as a warning, with their balls in their mouths — I think it would really make everyone else sit up and take notice.”

Tom Cruise heard what Maher said and expressed interest in becoming a stockbroker until Katie Holmes told him Maher was only speaking figuratively.

Follow our Academy Awards “commentary” on Twitter

We hate to watch the Academy Awards tonight. But we have to, it’s our job. We know many of you won’t be, but if you are following us our Twitter page we’ll let you know of all the idiotic things the self-absorbed actors and actresses have to say.

Ah look, Barbara Walters just got Mickey Rourke all teary-eyed. Her first to fall victim to her tonight.

Academy Award winners leaked?

oscars winners letter thumbnailA mysterious Hollywood blog announced this week that it was in possession of a leaked letter that prematurely announced the winners of tonight’s Oscars. To see the letter and the list of winners click the image above, or click here.

The blog has suddenly been taken down, which makes some insiders believe the leak may be true.

“The document,” Academy spokesperson Leslie Unger said, “is a complete fraud.”

It’s only appropriate that an industry that blurs the line between reality and fantasy should have a controversy like this.

We’ll all know in a few hours who’s telling the truth.

They’re giving away Oscars, almost giving away the commercials

ABC Television has slashed the cost of commercials during today’s Academy Awards broadcast.

In 2008, 30-second commercials went for as much as $1.8 million. This year, they’re going for as little as $1.4 million.

Once considered invulnerable to economic ups and downs, the Academy Awards has discovered that it can’t get away with jacking up the ad rates every year. Especially in a year when all five Best Film nominees have been ignored by movie-goers.

Here’s a tip for the Oscars’ nominating committee: Nominate movies people want to see and people will want to watch your awards ceremony.

If they can bring those rates down a little more – ok, a lot more – you could be seeing “IHateTheMedia.com Presents the 2009 Oscars.” If only we hadn’t blow our entire 2009 ad budget on expensive SuperBowl commercials Doritos.

Obama’s weekly radio address delivered weakly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiqJtDWvTsYWe admit we’re a couple weeks late with this story. But with all the important news about killer monkeys and Muslim beheadings and tax dodging nominees, we just got around to watching President Obama’s first weekly radio address.

So much for soaring oratory. So much for inspirational demagoguery. So much for sending a thrill up Chris Matthews’ leg.

The president’s first weekly radio address proved that even Obama can be dull. IF FDR’s speeches were done at the fireside, this was done on the uninspired side.

Here, as a public service of IHateTheMedia.com, is a brief synopsis of the address:

“Crisis. Sacrifice. Taxes. Spend. Unprecedented. Crisis. Blah-blah-blah. Thanks for listening. And God bless America.”

What’s that? He didn’t say “God bless America?” Our mistake. We must have dozed off.

Tom Hanks is the new George Clooney. But without the rugged good looks. And the hair. And the chicks.

Remember back when Tom Hanks was a lovable goof ball who made TV shows like “Bosom Buddies” and movies like “Big?”

On one hand, he didn’t win any Academy Awards. But on the other hand, he didn’t annoy the hell out of us with any offensive anti-Mormon comments.

Looks like we’re not alone. Here’s what Andrew Brietbart had to say about Hanks on a recent O’Reilly show:

“I would say that Tom Hanks has been doing this for many years. It’s just now coming to our notice that he has been running with the far left in Hollywood. Back in 1998, he gave the maximum amount of money that he could to Bill Clinton’s defense fund. This is a man who was against gay marriage, as was Hillary Clinton. So, it’s strange that he has now come out against Mormons.”

Hanks has since apologized for his anti-Mormon remarks. But, Tom, we still need an apology for that Clinton Defense Fund donation.

Why are liberals obsessed with testicles this weekend?

Bill Maher wants to lynch stockbrokers “with their balls in their mouths.” Fox News’ John Gibson should consider himself lucky, because the Huffington Post only wants to put words in his mouth.

Yesterday, the unabashedly lefty website ran a doctored video that combined two completely different stories and made it appear that Gibson had cast racial slurs at new Attorney General Eric Holder.

To their credit, HuffPo later pulled the doctored video, admitted they had been duped, and issued a mea culpa. Continue reading “Why are liberals obsessed with testicles this weekend?”

It’s the Turkish version of the Fairness Doctrine

flag_of_turkeyThe Turkish government has escalated its war on the free press to a new level by imposing a $500,000,000 fine on the Dogan Media Group, a Turkish publishing company. Dogan says it will fight the fine in court.

The Turkish Journalists’ Society has objected to the fine and called it a dangerous way to silence press outlets that criticize the government.

“Mr. Prime Minister’s anger caused by the news stories he disliked,” said a TGC statement, “has turned into a concrete attempt to silence (media) with the extremely high tax levy imposed on the Dogan Media Group.”

We know we have readers in Turkey, so rest assured that we’re watching our P’s and Q’s. A half a billion dollar fine could put quite a dent in our petty cash.

Source: Associated Press

Katie Couric wants the DMV to be your banker

photo: Travis Isaacs
photo: Travis Isaacs

We’re pretty sure Katie Couric leads a damn glamorous life. Limos to the studio. Limos to dinners at fabulous restaurants. Limos to the Hamptons for long, leisurely weekends.

Yet when this shameless prima donna examined pros and cons of the federal government nationalizing the banks, she concluded by saying, “…a government bureaucracy may not offer the best customer service.”

Earth to friggin’ Katie. May not offer the best service? For god’s sake, woman, order your limo driver to take you down to the DMV tomorrow. Have your man servant help your dainty ass out of the back seat. Then have your assistant open the door so you can walk inside and see what the real world is like.

Take it from us, honey, you don’t want these people in charge of your checkbook.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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